


A Whole New World

by Crystal_Grace



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Hellsing, InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect: Andromeda, Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), 幽☆遊☆白書 | YuYu Hakusho: Ghost Files
Genre: Abduction, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Biting, Blood Drinking, Bored Alucard (Hellsing), Crossover, Declarations Of Love, Dialogue Heavy, Domestic, Exploration, F/M, Feelings, Fenris Has Issues, Fenris Needs a Hug, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Knotting, M/M, Magic, Marking, Masturbation, Multi, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, Parallel Universes, Past Tense, Pregnancy, Resurrection, Reverse Harem, Sexual Tension, Sexy Solas, Sexy Zevran, Shameless Smut, Skinny Dipping, Thane Krios Lives, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2019-10-15 07:59:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 99,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17524880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crystal_Grace/pseuds/Crystal_Grace
Summary: Eight fictional men and a human girl wake up in a mysterious house without memory of having gotten there.She not only knows them, but loves them all.A wish had been granted, and she didn't know. But when some of those men are just too dangerous to deal with, she might have a hard time convincing them to let her love them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> youkai = demon  
> The characters were chosen based on my personal preference, but this is _not_ a self-insert.

It was supposed to be a normal trip. Travel to Japan, visit antique shops, temples, eat local food and return. Nothing should have gone wrong.

Well, it didn't go exactly wrong, it just didn't end up normal. And in a way, I'm happy it didn't. The others not so much.

What went wrong? Well, I visited an antique shop and bought something that shouldn't have been made available to anybody. It was a book, enchanted. The shop owner didn't believe it; I guess people nowadays don't believe in magic -with few exceptions, like myself.

The book shone when I opened it, but I was the only one who saw it. It took almost all my money, but I had to have it.

I waited until I was back home to go through it, calmly translating the texts. It was about wishes, and it told a tale of a family ruined by the unquenchable thirst for more that the youngest son possessed. Greed. It was a book about greed.

As I read and meditated on my own wishes, contemplating and measuring their fairness, consequently measuring myself as a potential greedy person, it completely escaped my notice that the book was working on me.

And I noticed it too late.

I woke up the morning after finishing the book in a room that wasn't mine. I had decent money, I worked so I could buy things I enjoyed, but I couldn't afford that level of luxury. The bed was huge, enough for eight or ten people, and sinful in the comfort it provided. The room was also large, with tall windows taking over the entirety of one wall. Heavy curtains covered them all. The floor was wood with many fluffy rugs, my toes disappeared into the one by the bed when I sit up. The chandelier hanging from the ceiling was astoundingly beautiful. I didn't have the right to be there, and yet I was sure it wasn't a dream. Had I been abducted?

There was silence, the sort of silence one has when in the quiet areas of the country. I could hear the soft wind outside occasionally ruffling branches, and sparse cries of birds I couldn't name. There was no other sound but my breathing and my heartbeat which started to pound in my ears because of my increasing panic over my situation.

If this was a dream I had to be in a coma for it to be this real. Was I? Or maybe I was dead. At that point it not even once crossed my mind the possibility of the book being the cause of my predicament.

I walked to the windows, watched the vast landscape in awe. It was endless green hills, with deep green woods to the left. The sky was blue with a few streaks of white, blurred clouds painted by the wind. As much as the view enchanted me, dread grew in my heart. I had no idea where I was or how I had gotten there.

Leaving the windows behind me, I walked still barefoot to the door. I was still wearing my pajamas -cotton tank top and shorts- but there was no footwear in sight. The door led me to a large corridor with multiple doors, five on each side, and the end seemed to lead to a staircase to a lower level.

"Hello?" I called, afraid of asking and of being alone. The persistent silence didn't make it any better. I called again, with no different outcome.

It isn't polite to peak into other people's rooms, but it also isn't polite to take people to unknown places without their consent, and I definitely didn't agree to be there. I had to know where I was, so I tried the first doorknob.

The sight froze me at the threshold. It was a bedroom, smaller than the one I awoke in, but beautiful and just as rich. What surprised me beyond reason was the person in the bed. Lying as if dead, with large hands set on his navel and peaceful expression, was a man who I never thought was possible for me to meet. This had to be a dream. He wore elegant male pajamas that I assumed was silk. And the white fit him perfectly. My first love. Not the kind you feel for a cute boy in school or neighborhood, this one I desired, even before I was old enough to know it was what I felt. What didn't make sense is that he could exist. Yet, there I was, staring only a few steps away from a very realistic -he really was a person- version of Kurama Youko. The thief  youkai , the handsome silver fox, the creation of a magnificent mind. Only one word screamed in my mind: how?

I don't know how long it took me to move, but at some point I turned on my heels and left the room. I couldn't face that, whatever that was.

The next room startled me just as much. The man, also looking dead, wore white and blue pajamas, and not unlike Kurama, couldn't be real. Couldn't  _look_ real. Sesshoumaru. The powerful dog  youkai . My second love. Was this a nightmare? A bad joke? I noticed he had both arms. What was going on?

It took me less time to recover, and although I was afraid of being proven right, I opened the door to the next room, confirming my suspicion but increasing my confusion, my near despair. Blood red pajamas. It really couldn't have been another color to cover the No Life King. Alucard.

I couldn't begin to imagine what had conjured that reality, dream, hallucination. Whatever it was, it had summoned all my fictional lovers to the same place. A place that also was something I desired but wouldn't ever be able to possess. Would the other seven doors reveal more men of my dreams? And what was the point? Were they really dead?

Wearing black pajamas was not another Japanese character, so whatever this was it was being thorough. Zevran Airanai, assassin. Well, I suppose by now my type of men  wa s quite obvious.

The next door revealed another elf, one I wouldn't know how to deal with, but who I loved nonetheless. Wearing light blue pajamas was Fenris, former slave, hater of mages and everything magical.

I suspected who the next door would show, but I was mistaken. And I couldn't have been more surprised to see such an alien form in front of me. And he was beautiful as a real person. In black and red was Thane Krios, assassin in search of redemption. And fated to die. I almost burst into tears at the sight of him on the bed, seemingly dead. I didn't need another heartbreak. I couldn't gather the courage to check if he was alive, so I left.

The next door surprised me, if only because he had been a recent realization. In dark blue pajamas was Admiral Steven Hackett. The most important man in the Alliance military. Untouchable.

Three more doors. I could think of one man. This dream -for lack of a word- knew me better than myself.

In green pajamas, and with a red bandana covering one of his eyes, was Iorveth. Leader of the Scoiatel, hater of humans. I'm a human.

The next door showed me who I expected would be there, but his hair surprised me. In green and gold was Solas. The Dread Wolf, the creator of the Veil which doomed his own people. Despite it all, I couldn't believe my eyes. He had left me, but he was here now. Wherever here was. And I needed to know he was alive.

I did what I couldn't do with any of the others: I closed the distance and touched his hand. It wasn't cold, and it was a relief, but I suppose I wasn't ready for what followed.

Solas opened his eyes, and I panicked. I was truly afraid of what could happen. What if he attacked me? This man had been through so much, I couldn't anticipate his thoughts. I froze in place, hand still touching his, and I could barely breathe. His eyes narrowed, he was analyzing me and I feared what he would think. I swallowed thickly, unable to take my eyes off his face.

"Who are you?" His voice was smooth, calm, careful.

"Ah- I- my- my name is Bethany."

"Where am I?"

"I- I don't know." He didn't seem to believe me, and the possibility of him thinking I wished him harm and retaliating worsened my panic."I- I just woke up here too."

"Why are you touching me?" I immediately removed my hand.

"Sorry. I- I was checking if you were alive."

The elf shifted and sit up, leaning on the headboard. He carefully took in the room where we were and when he looked back at me he was still fairly suspicious. It was only natural,  I supposed .

"Why would I not be alive?"

"You looked dead. Didn't even seem to breathe and the hands were set as they set dead people's hands."

"I see. You also woke up in this place with no memory of how you got here?"

"Yes."

"My name is Solas."

"I know." He frowned then. I suppose I destroyed the little sense of security he was starting to feel.

"How do you know me?"

"It's a long story, and it has nothing to do with us being here." Or did it? "There are other people here, sleeping just like you were. I... didn't get close so I- I think they're just sleeping." I hoped they were alive, but I was so afraid of confirming, of the possibility of talking to them.

"Do you know them as well?" He threw his legs over the edge, preparing to stand, and looked at me intently.

"Ah... yes." There was no point in lying.

"Do they know you?"

"I don't think so."

"It would seem whatever is happening is because of you." He stood and smoothed his clothes. I noticed he stared at them quite thoughtfully.

"Yes. It seems that way.” I was the link, apparently. “But I really don't know what is going on."

"We should find out. I really don't appreciate being taken against my will." And I assumed that was said also as a warning to me.

"I... you see, some of those men are different than what you're used to seeing. I ask that you don't act with prejudice. Or... hostility."

"You don't know me if you believe I would do such things unprovoked."

"No... it's that some might provoke you. You might know two of them."

"Oh?"

"But before I go back to them, I- I need to check the last door."

Solas followed me and I saw that along with his caution was a fair amount of curiosity. One of the reasons was probably his clothes.

The door opened to reveal a man I didn't think would be there. It really seemed like the dream knew me better than myself. In white and green modified pajamas was Evfra de Tershaav, leader of the Angaran Resistance. Solas gasped behind me, and I couldn't imagine his thoughts at the sight.

I feared Evfra's reaction. He was a man scarred by aliens, both physically and emotionally. The kett tried to break him and his people, took his family, and I feared he would think me hostile.

Closing the distance with careful steps, I touched his large blue hands. It was such a big difference in size and shape. Before I could blink, his hand was no longer under mine and even if I wanted to, his gaze on me stopped me from moving away.

"Who are you?" I was mesmerized by his eyes scanning the room, then analyzing me once again. It was like he had stars in them. "Are you with the Initiative?"

"I- I eh- no. I mean you no harm, Evfra." And he could be scary just by looking at me. The Pathfinder was braver than I thought. If real, that was.

"How do you know me? Who are you and where are we?" It was weird to see the way his legs moved, but I tried my best not to show my surprise. "And what manner of clothes are these?"

"I'm Bethany. I- I have no idea where we are, I also awoke here. And uh... those are pajamas that I believe were modified to fit you."

"How do you know me?

"It's a long story. Just know that I don't mean you any harm. There are others... sleeping just as you were."

"You better explain." He stood, and god... he was big. A mountain of solid blue skin. I wasn’t a tiny woman, far from it. But even at the top of my 176 centimeters he was taller. It didn’t look like it in game, but he seemed to be two meters tall, and his shoulders were broad. His biceps were just as thick as my thighs, and  _his_ thighs? I couldn’t really compare them.

"I- I don't know how to explain. I don't know how I got here either." He was staring at me, serious and threatening, and I wasn't sure he wouldn't do anything against me. "I can tell you how I know you later but... you might not believe me."

"Fine. Who's the man by the door?"

"That's Solas. He just awoke too."

"How many others?" His eyes quickly scanned the place again.

"Eight."

"Can you fight? Are there weapons anywhere?"

"I can't fight. And I hope we don't have to. I also don't think there are weapons around here. It uh... it seems to be just the eleven of us."

"We'll see." He walked past me straight for the door. I saw the moment Solas tensed by the proximity but he kept himself still, cautiously observing. "She tells me you're Solas. I'm Evfra. Do you know anything of what's going on?"

"No. She just awoke me in the room next to this one." He looked at me and I wondered if they believed me. I wished I knew what I was doing and where I was. What could have brought us all together?

"Are you with the Initiative?"

Solas tilted his head in that cute way of his and I couldn't hold a smile. "What is the Initiative?"

Evfra sighed and turned his attention to the corridor. Then turned to me. "You, Bethany. These others, do you know them too?"

"Yes." I approached the door and the men made way for me to pass. That situation was so absurd and I couldn't imagine it ending well. If it would end. For all I knew at that moment I could wake up in my bed, even though I felt perfectly awake. It just didn't make sense to have an elven god at my left and an angara at my right.

"Whatever brought us here seems to have her at the center." Solas said. "Yet, she seems to be another victim."

"Maybe one of the others will know." Evfra said, and I had a hard time believing it, but the others had to wake up too. Just thinking they weren't dead made it all better.

"I doubt it, but I should wake them up anyway. Please, don't be hostile, Evfra. Some of them can be... difficult. And it's the first time they'll see an angara."

He narrowed his eyes and it made me quite uncomfortable. "I'm not a savage. I wouldn't act unprovoked."

"They may provoke. Just ignore it, please."

"Fine."

I entered Iorveth's room, leaving the other men watching from the door. I couldn't believe I was about to touch that man's hand. And I hoped, I prayed, that he wouldn't attack me on sight. I should have loved simpler men.

His one eye opened and he growled at me, making me stumble backwards. I noticed the tension at the door and hoped they wouldn't do anything harsh. Iorveth sit up fast, never taking his eye from me. "Who are you and where am I?"

"I- I'm Bethany. I don't know where we are."

"You lie. Is this a ploy? A different approach in hopes of making me betray my people?" He stood and stepped my way, making me retreat further.

"Please, Iorveth, it's the truth. I just woke up here a few minutes ago. I don't know what this place is or how we got here."

"But you know me. Convenient, isn't it?" Damn, he was scary. "You even know to fear me."

"You hate humans, of course I'm afraid!"

He narrowed his eye and I swallowed hard. I didn't know what to expect from him. Suddenly he turned to the door, and seeing the others his hands instinctively went for his weapons, finding none. He cursed and scanned the surroundings, but before he could grab anything to use as weapon I stepped ahead, filled with courage I didn't know where I got.

I showed my hands in front of me, a sign of surrender, of peace, and he was confused. I looked over my shoulder and the men were just observing. I thanked god for that small miracle. "We mean you no harm. They were also sleeping here. And there are others. Please, calm down."

"I can't be here."

"I told that to myself many times in the past minutes. You all are men I never thought possible to meet."

"What is he?" I heard the groan and figured that could only be a question about Evfra.

"He is Evfra, a good man. His race is called angara."

"Did another  C onju n ction happen?"

"I don't think that's the cause. I- well, it seems whatever happened is my fault, although I don't know what happened." And there he  wa s, menacing again.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you all. All ten of you. But none of you know me. I don't know this place, but I always wanted to live in a place like this. It all comes back to me."

He scoffed, surprising me. "Are you saying some entity granted you a wish?"

"No, of course n-" Realization dawned on me then. Wishes. The book. But it shouldn't be possible. "It can't be…"

"What is it?" Solas called from the door.

"I was reading a book about wishes before I woke up here."

"Damn sorceresses." Iorveth started pacing.

"What should a book have anything to do with this?" Evfra asked.

"Everything, if it was magical." Solas said. "Was it?"

"Well, it shone once... but- but I only thought it told a story, that maybe the shine was a ward for protection or something. It's not like my world has active magic. It was an antique book."

"What story did it tell?" Solas asked.

"How greed destroyed a family. The youngest son was never satisfied, always wanted more."

"Did you wish for this?"

"Not consciously!"

"Are you saying magic is real and we're here because she wished it to a book?" Evfra asked, annoyance clear on his voice.

"Magic is real." Solas and Iorveth said in unison, and clearly surprised each other.

"Whether we're here because of her wish it remains to be seen." Solas added. "Was the book with you when you awoke?"

"No... it was only me in this pajamas on a bed... like you were." I sighed. "I should wake the others."

"I'm leaving." Iorveth said, and it broke my heart.

"Do you not even want to know how she knows us?" Solas asked.

"Probably the same way every other dh’oine does." He stared at Solas as if he could very well be his next opponent.

"What's a dh’oine?" Solas asked.

"Human." I said before Iorveth could. "But that's not how I know you, Iorveth. It's a long story." I was sad to say it, but I couldn't hope to hold him here either. "You can go if you want, I just don't know where the exit is. I've only been to this floor."

"I'll find a way."

And he left. I watched him disappear down the staircase and sighed.

Before I could reach Hackett's room, Solas spoke. "You care about him. About us all."

I nodded. "I do." And gave him a sad smile. I loved each and every one of them.

"Even though he scares you."

"Heh... you all scare me. Each one of you can kill me in the blink of an eye." He looked genuinely surprised, and Evfra looked like he was analyzing everything. I wondered what he was thinking, what he planned on doing. They could leave just like Iorveth did, but I supposed they were too curious to do it.

I opened the door and stepped into the room. Hackett looked so handsome outside a screen. I placed my hand on his and watched as he opened his eyes, then blinked a few times before watching me in return.  
"Who are you? I don't recognize this place."

I gave him a smile. Out of four he was the only one who didn't seem to think I wanted to harm him. "My name is Bethany. Unfortunately, I don't know where we are." I gave his hand a slight caress before retreating mine. "I awoke a while ago in a similar bedroom. There are others, I awoke a few."

He sit up, leaning on the headboard and stared at me. Then his gaze fixed at the door where Solas and Evfra stood. "We don't mean you any harm, Admiral." I added.

"Are you with the Alliance? I don't recognize that species."

"He's an angara. His name is Evfra. The other man is Solas, he's an elf."

"An… elf? Is this a joke?" He threw his legs out of the bed and moved to stand, but stopped on his tracks. "Or... my God, is this afterlife?"

"I don't know, Admiral. But I don't think we're dead. And to answer your question: I'm not with the Alliance. I was just a drugstore clerk before I awoke here."

"Who would abduct us? Taking me is an act of war."

"We're trying to discover what happened. I have to awake the others. You know one of them."

He stood. "Who?"

"Thane Krios."

He frowned. "Krios is dead."

"It would seem he is merely asleep here." I hoped.

"So this  _is_ afterlife."

"I really don't know." I walked to the corridor. "Solas, Evfra, this is Admiral Hackett of the Alliance."

"A pleasure to meet you, gentlemen." Hackett greeted them, who greeted him back. "What do you make of this situation?"

Solas told him of our recent speculation as I made my way to the next door. Hackett gasped when he saw the man on the bed, effectively interrupting their conversation.

I approached, doing my best to hold back the tears that wanted to spill. A sob came out when I touched Thane's hand. When he opened his large black eyes I came undone. Unable to do anything else, even think, I fell on my knees, lowered my head on his hands and cried. I couldn't believe he was alive, I couldn't believe he was with me.

"What is going on?" His raspy voice echoed in my ears and made me cry more. "Why are you crying?"

It surprised me when he took one of his hands from under my face to run his fingers through my hair, trying to comfort me. He was so sweet.  
Eventually I calmed enough to raise my head and look at him, and I found him talking to Hackett, who was behind me. Both looked at me with sympathy. It was weird. They didn’t know me, and I felt so much for them. They probably thought I was an overemotional girl.

"Sorry, I got you wet." My voice was rough and I tried to rub away the tears from his hand. I wasn't very successful and he just pulled it away before sitting up.

"It's alright." He didn't simply look, he examined me, and it would probably have made me uncomfortable if I wasn't so happy to be with him. "Admiral Hackett tells me we are stranded in this building, abducted perhaps?"

"I don't know. God, you're alive!" I wanted to hug him, and I almost did, but I found control.

"Either that or they lied to me about the shores."

"How do you know us, Bethany?" Hackett asked.

"It's a long story." I stood and tried to fix my appearance. After a deep breath I continued. "I should awake the others first." At the door I stopped and added "I assume you were introduced while I melted away in tears?"

"Yes. It's a most unexpected situation but I cherish the unique opportunity to meet them." Thane, ever the gentleman.

"The others are different too, some might provoke you. Please don't be hostile."

"Understood."

I stopped at Fenris' door and took a deep breath. I prayed he would be calm. He startled the moment I touched his hand. Not only that, his hand glowed as the other held my arm. He was fast, and deadly. I didn't want that glowing hand going through my body. I should've known better than to touch him unconscious.

"Who are you?" He growled the words and I noticed the tension at the door. Fenris did too, and soon he was kneeling behind me on the bed, using me as shield. "One step and she dies." I tried to be calm, tried to remember he was just traumatized, but it hurt to be treated that way, and not only physically.

"We- we don't mean you any harm, Fenris." And I started crying. "Please,  _please_ trust me."

"Who are you? Where am I?"

"My- my name is Bethany. I- I don't know where we are. We're all confused here.  _Please_ ."

"You have demons with you."

"No! They're not demons!"

"They are people, Fenris." Solas said, calm but careful, as if disarming a bomb. "They are only different, like kossith are different."

His markings shone brightly, pulsing twice before fading back to normal. "Alright. They're not demons."

"Please, let me go. You're hurting me. We won't harm you." Surprisingly, he released my arm and I immediately began massaging the tender spot. I was glad he wasn't wearing his gauntlets or the bruises would have been much worse.

"What is going on here? Who are you? How did I get here?"

"We're trying to find answers." I said. "There are more people asleep. We all awoke here and we don't know how."

"I have no memory of being abducted or even fighting. I don't see how it's possible that I'd end up in a place like this." He frowned then, leaving the bed like a predator. "How do you know me?"

"It's a long story. I should wake up the others first. It'll be easier to explain if I only have to do it once."

"Explain what?"

"She knows us all. We don't know her." Evfra said, surprising me. I thought he'd stay quiet the entire time.

"How many more?" Fenris asked.

"Four." I said.

"Where are my things?" He began searching the room, finding nothing.

"I don't know. Just please believe me, and don't attack anybody."

"I'm not a rabid animal."

"Sure acted like one." Thane said.

"He has reasons," I interfere before they have the chance to argue, "the mistake was mine for touching him unaware." It must have been overwhelming for someone with his past to wake up suddenly in an unknown place being touched by an unknown woman. And with unknown creatures nearby.

"You are Varric's friend, are you not?" Solas asked as I began my way to the corridor.

"Do you know him?"  Fenris asked back.

"We were friends once."

"Should that make you look better in my book? What did you do to lose his friendship?"

"We had different opinions. I wish it didn't have to end, he was a good friend."

"Who are you?"

"Apologies. My name is Solas."

"Solas. The Fade expert who also happens to be Fen'Harel?" Shit.

"I see you have heard."

"Guys, please don't fight.  _Please_ ."

"I'm not stupid to start a fight I can't win. But don't mistake it for acceptance."

"I won't." Solas said and I took the subsequent silence as my cue to head to the next door.

They waited as I approached the bed. Having learned my lesson, I called Zevran's name instead of touching him. And nothing happened. With a sigh, I brought my hand to his.

His eyes opened, and instead of violence he greeted me with a smirk. "What have I done to wake up in bed with a beautiful woman?" Of course I should've known he would flirt.

"Zevran, my name is Bethany. We don't mean you any harm."  
"So defensive." He began caressing my hand. "Shouldn't I be the defensive one? After all I'm in disadvantage here."

"I'm just trying to make you understand we don't have to fight, you don't have to kill me."

"Kill you? Why, that'd be such a waste. There are many more enjoyable things for us to do than fight."

"I'm glad you don't want to, it makes this much easier. We all woke up here and we don't know what is going on." He looked at the door then, and only three men were visible: Solas, Fenris and Hackett. It was good that the aliens -not that we all weren't aliens to each other- were out of sight. I supposed Fenris' reaction had been enough reason to take it slow.

"But you know me. How?"

"It's a long story. I want to wake everybody up first."

"Alright, Bethany." He quickly spun and got off the bed. "I'm looking forward to discovering your secrets." And I was sure he didn't mean only how I knew him.

"There are some people here that are different from the races you're used to."

"Oh?"

"Please be calm. Let me introduce you all. Fenris, Solas, Admiral Hackett-"

"Admiral uh? Are you a pirate?"

"No." Hackett frowned.

"Oh pity, I met a pirate Admiral once, or many times, but that's irrelevant now. The point is, she knew how to have fun."

"I'm not a pirate, young man, and I don't condone piracy."

I cleared my throat to break the soon-to-be argument. "You can talk about that another time. He's not the kind of Admiral you're used to, Zevran. Not even close. Anyway, Thane and Evfra, come in." The others made way and the shock on Zevran's face was obvious. "This is Thane, and he's Evfra."

"You weren't joking. They really  _are_ different."

"And we all are confused and trying to figure out this situation. Please play nice."

"Oh I know how to play nice."

"There are three more I need to wake up. Don't be hostile."

"On my honor." I laughed. "Alright. I'll... play nice."

"Guys...  _Fenris_ ... this next man can be quite odd... please don't do anything."

Fenris watched me with clear distrust, but nodded. I was sure he wouldn't hesitate if something happened around him. I could only pray nothing would.

I walked carefully towards Alucard, hoping  against hope that he'd behave. I touched his hand and had to control myself not to recoil at the  frigid skin. His eyes opened, revealing red pools that dragged me in. Soon his arms were around me and I was lying in the bed, with Alucard on top.

"My my, it's not always such a pretty thing stumbles upon my bed. Who are you?" His voice was a dark melody I wished I could listen to all day. My heartbeat was getting too fast for my liking and I was struggling to remember what I was doing there.

"I'm Bethany."

"A pleasure to meet you, Bethany. What are you doing in my room?"

"I was... waking you up."

"Oh? And what for?" I couldn't think straight and he lowered his head to the crook of my neck, inhaling sharply. "And you are a virgin. Are you perhaps an offering?"

"No... I- I just had to awake you. There are... others. We all were brought to this house and we don't know how or why."

"You are not afraid of me. Why? Do you want me to turn you?"

"I- I'm not sure." I had always thought I would say yes without a second thought. But I really wasn't sure.

"Who are the men with you?"

"Men I love."

"All of them?"

"Yes."

"What a big heart." He kissed my neck and whispered in my ear. "Some aren't human. What are they?"

"Other species, from different planets. Different stories."

"Stories?" He pulled back to look into my eyes again, and I was feeling so weak. It was a good thing I was lying down.

"Yes."

"You think I'm also from a story."

"Yes. Hellsing."

"Most interesting. This is what I like about you humans, you never keep me bored for long."

And then I blinked, seeing Alucard leaning against the headboard smirking at me. I was just as I was when I touched his hand. It would seem our conversation happened in my head. The others were tense by the door, but  _there_ and apparently not inclined to do anything harsh.

"Did we just talk?" I asked and the vampire nodded. "Alright... will you... join us?"

"I will. This should be interesting."

"Alright... so..." I stood and cleared my throat. "Let me introduce you. Guys, this is Alucard. He's a vampire." I saw faces of disbelief, confusion and surprise. Alucard merely smirked before melting and floating to my side in a black cloud and assuming his shape once more. Now the faces were only of surprise. "Alucard, over there is Solas, Zevran, Fenris, Admiral Hackett, Thane and Evfra."

"I wonder what your blood tastes like. Except the human, that I know."

"He drinks blood?" Fenris asked, unsurprisingly angry. "Is he a blood mage?"

"No, he's a vampire. He needs blood to live."

"I thought that was myth." Hackett said.

"Admiral... nothing is making sense to me since I woke up."

The others murmur agreements.

"Well... there are two others, and I ask you Alucard, just as I have asked everyone else,  _please_ be nice."

"I promise I'll only watch for now, little witch."

"I'm not a witch." I wasn't, was I?

Alucard laughed. And whoever knows Alucard knows his laugh isn't shy. He surprised us all. "Sorry to tell you, then. Anyway, go wake up your lovers."

"They're not my lovers."

"Not yet. But I've been around long enough to know where this is going. Well, aside from the obvious path of death and suffering."

"Cheery friend, Bethany." Zevran said and Alucard laughed again.

"That one you can be sure plans on removing your clothes. The others are probably a matter or time."

"I won't deny it." Zevran said with a smirk.

Damn you, Zevran. "Uh... I'm heading to the next."

The group behind me was tense, and I couldn't blame any of them. I approached Sesshoumaru on the bed, but hell... I was afraid. It was one thing to long for a deadly handsome youkai when I was fourteen, it was another to awake a  _very_ real version of him that really could kill me. And considering the harsh awakenings so far I wasn't sure this was worth it. I didn't know what would happen, but when my doubt became bigger than my desire to see the man in front of me awake he disappeared. I jumped back, startled.

"Where did he go?"

"You sent him back, little witch." Alucard was behind me then, holding my hand.  He was no longer cold. "It would seem you no longer wanted him here."

"What are you saying?"

"You read a magic book and activated powerful magic. This place is bound to your will."

"How do you know this?" Solas asked.

"I found  it in her mind. She isn't aware, don't blame her. But we are all here because she willed it."

"But- no... that can't be true."  I said.

The vampire held my hand and planted a soft kiss. "But it is."

"You brought us all?" Fenris asked. "Why?"

"There's one more person still asleep. She should decide what to do before explaining things to us. Isn't that right?"

I nodded, and noticed the confusion in everyone's faces. But Alucard was right; Kurama first.

I walked in a daze until I reached the bed. I didn't fear Kurama would hurt me, even this version of him was kind with humans, but I couldn't bring myself to wake him up. If what Alucard said was true -"It's true."- and he just spoke in my mind, I couldn't do it. I knew I wouldn't have another chance, but I couldn't be that selfish. He would hate life here, wherever here was. I just knew it. He had friends, I couldn’t do this to him.

And then he was gone. I was so close to hugging two men who I had  had such beautiful feelings for as a child. And it would never happen. Because I chose to be selfless. I wished it didn't hurt so much.

"Oh why are you crying, Bethany?" Zevran held my hand, surprising me. "I can't see a woman crying. Come here." And he pulled me into a hug. It wasn't surprising that he'd take advantage, it was surprising that he didn't. He just comforted me without wandering hands, without fondling me. "If you wanted him why did you let him go?"

"I don't know... I- I think... I don't think he would be happy here. Wherever here is…"

"But you brought us." Fenris said, quite harshly, and it was enough to make me pull away from Zevran's arms.

"I didn't know I was in control. I'm sorry I brought you all. I don't know how I did it. I'm sorry."

"Could you send us back?" Solas asked. Of course he would.

"I don't know. They were sleeping. I already awoke you. But... I could try... if you want to go."

"I want to see what this place is first. But I appreciate you offered readily."

"I wouldn't want to keep anyone against their will."

"Now that you awoke everyone, I want your explanation." Evfra said. "How do you know us?"

"Right..." I take a deep breath. "Let's go to the room I awoke in. It's big enough for us to sit.”

On our way to my room a voice I wasn't expecting to hear called my name. I turned to see Iorveth walking the corridor. "I thought you left."

"I did. But I don't recognize anything out there. Might as well hear you out."

"Good." I gave him a smile, happy to see him again. "It seems I have some answers now."

"And more strange people." I was glad nobody commented at his words.

 

We entered the room and Zevran whistled at the sight of the bed.  “Someone was planning a party when they made this.” He smirked at me.

"Hey, I didn't build it. I just awoke in it."

"Right... and the fact it could fit all of us in there is merely coincidence?"

"Maybe? Probably?"

Alucard chuckled and then climbed the bed, assuming the very center. He waved me over with his finger, in a come hither motion. Well, why not? I climbed it and crawled his way, but when I was close enough he pulled me to sit in between his legs. It was weird, I had never been so close to a man before. At least he wasn't cold anymore.

“Well, pick places and sit down." I said.

They scanned the room, finding no other furniture to sit on, and one by one I saw them split. Zevran took a spot near me, but avoided touching Alucard. It was nice and strange to see him relaxed, as if he trusted us all, which I knew he didn't.

Fenris stood by a window, as did Evfra, far from each other. Hackett sit by the right edge, as did Thane, beside each other. Solas sit on the left edge close to the headboard and Iorveth picked the opposite end, without showing his back to either Solas or Fenris.

It was an odd scene, and I couldn't blame them for being cautious. I supposed the most powerful in the room were Solas and Alucard, and I had no idea who would win in a fight. I hoped to never find out.

"In my world," I began, "there are stories about other worlds, other realities, imagined futures. Sometimes in those stories there are characters that catch my attention. Some more than others. Enough to be considered love. And you all come from those stories."

"Are you saying we're the product of someone's mind?" Iorveth asked.

"Either that or someone got access to other worlds and told your stories."

"What do you know?" Zevran asked.

"Can I say everything?" He nodded. "Okay. Zevran Airanai, assassin with the Crows. Born and raised in a prostitution house, sold to the Crows still a child. Was hired to kill the Hero of Ferelden but spared when failed. You also love leather and like the Dalish because of your mother."

"For a moment there I thought you'd spill my entire life. Okay, someone has gotten my life out there. But you love me? From a story?"

"Sounds silly, right?"

"Considering you not once mentioned my good side it's actually hard to believe. Unless of course you love me because I kill people. It wouldn't be the first time, but it would shock me.  Y ou don't seem the type."

"No. I don't love you because you kill people. I love you because despite having lived a crappy life you still find joy in it. You love life, you treasure it, you're playful and kind to people who deserve it. You want to be loved but is afraid of what it means, of losing the person you love. You want to be happy and I want you to have it."

"Alright, now you embarrassed me."

"Well, you asked."

An awkward silence filled the room for a few minutes. Then Alucard broke it. "Tell about me."

"You probably already looked in my head."

"I did. But they don't know, and if they do it might give them the nudge to ask about themselves."

"Why do you care?"

"Nothing better to do." Of course.

"Right... You were Vlad Tepes once. Count Dracula. I don't know how you became a vampire, but after years of drinking people's blood you were captured by Helsing and had your powers locked to serve them. You killed lesser vampires to protect humanity. You like people to think you don't care about others, but you do."

"You didn't tell them how my power makes your blood hot. That it arouses you."

"They didn't need to know that."

"If you're not honest about your feelings, how do you expect them to believe you?"

"Fine. You're right. I love how powerful you are, how easily you can crush evil people, how hot you look when you drink blood. Those sharp canines make my heart jump in excitement. There, happy?"

He gave me a dark chuckle. "Very."

"So you basically love him because he's dangerous?" Hackett asked.

"That's part of it."

"You must know I'm not like either of them, yet I'm here. Why?"

"One thing you must know about the story you're in is that it's from Shepard's perspective. And whenever you appeared to give a mission, to guide them, to encourage them, it was as if you did it to me, for me. And you're a bright man, Admiral. It was impossible not to love you."

"I'm old enough to be your father."

"Heh... good thing you're not or I would go in for incest. I love your mind, your pragmatism, your voice and of course I love your looks. You're firm and confident, you fight for what's right, to protect those who can't protect themselves. As for your age... he's thousands years old." I point at Solas who simply blinks.

"I noticed you referred to Shepard as them. Why?"

"Because in my story they could either be woman or man. I don't know who they were where you're from."

"Jane Shepard. A brilliant woman."

"Did you love her, Admiral?"  I was afraid of his answer.

"As if my own child, I did."

"Shepard was a man where I come from." Thane said and caused me and Hackett to look at him with surprise.

"You two come from different realities?"

"It would seem so." Thane continued. "We must talk about this another time, Admiral. I'm most curious to understanding these differences. But tell me, did Shepard stop the Reapers?"

"She did. It was a sacrifice the entire galaxy felt." I wondered what that meant, but I didn't want to dive into sad memories. Later I discovered Shepard used the synthesis option and Hackett became a hybrid.

"If I may ask, what was the story of the ones you sent away?" Thane asked.

"They are demons." I turn to Fenris. "Not  _that_ kind of demon. Sesshoumaru is a powerful dog demon, who learned what it's like to be loved from a child who helped him when he was almost dead. I was actually afraid he'd try to kill me if I awoke him."

"You love dangerous people."

"What can I do? He was appealing and I have a thing for voices..." Alucard laughed behind me. "And I was too young to understand danger when I found my feelings for him."

"And the other?"

"Kurama Youko. The man you saw last, long white hair, that's his true form. As a human he has red hair and well.. is a child. But Kurama... he's a fox demon, cunning and slippery as one. He's a thief, but also learned to be kind. I... didn't think he'd be happy here and I didn't want to risk it now that I know it was all my fault."

"So it  _was_ that book of yours." Iorveth said and I nodded.

"Alucard helped me understand. I was unaware that I activated a power in it. The book brought us all to this place. I don't know how, I don't know where it is, but Alucard said we're probably bound to it."

"You know my dog, it has to stay somewhere when I don't call it forth." Alucard said. "I believe this is similar."

"Are you saying I created a pocket reality?"

"Maybe."

"Can you return me?" Iorveth asked.

"I can try. The others I sent away were still sleeping."

"I want you to try."

"Now?"

"Yes. If you really know me as you claim then you know I have people depending on me."

"Of course." It pained me, but he was right. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I thought of Iorveth going back to his place, where he would be able to fight for his people as he wished. I wanted what was best for him. I wanted his happiness. If getting him back would make him happy I’d grant him that. When I opened my eyes he was still there. "I'm sorry. I really tried."

"She did." Alucard said. "I saw her mind."

Iorveth cursed but then startled in place. It worried me the way he shook suddenly. He took his hand to the bandana and seemed to feel through it. I had no idea why he would do that. Then his eye glistened and I realized it was tears. His hand pulled the bandana away and I gasped. He was not only healed, but his eye was there again.

"You healed me."

"Was it me?"

"Yes. You channeled magic." Solas said.

"But I was trying to send him home."

"And wished for his happiness." Alucard added.

"Oh. I didn't know it would heal you. But I'm so glad it did!"

"Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. I wanted to go home, but if I can't... Thank you for this."

My smile was bright, so big it hurt. I was so happy to see him happy. "You're welcome. I'd help your people if I could. But I don't think I have that power."

"Remember what happened in your book." Alucard said. "Don't be greedy."

"Right. I'm sorry... it seems you're stuck with me for now."

"Well, I'm enjoying it." Zevran said. "Especially the fact there's nobody trying to kill me."

"Good to know my presence is not the best of your situation." I teased, but I hoped he'd come to care.

"Oh Bethany, of course you are one important part of it."

"There's no need to flatter me, I already love you."

"Well, I still need you to accept me in your bed."

"Isn't that where we are?"

"Oh I knew you planned a party."

I laughed despite knowing it was only partly a joke.

"Seriously though, I used magic?"

"Yes." Solas said.

"I'm not a mage…"

"You had power that triggered the book." Alucard said.

"And now we're stuck here…"

"You must be happy now that you have everything you wanted." Fenris said bitterly.

"I am happy to be with all of you in a nice place, but you're not. And I didn't want to cause trouble to anybody."

"I appreciate the second chance at life. I don't feel any symptoms of Kepral’s and after seeing what you did to him I assume it's your doing. You not only brought me back to life, but you gave me health." My eyes filled with tears at Thane's words.

"Oh Thane..." I really wanted to hug him.

"Wait, he was  _dead_ ?" Evfra asked.

"I died in a hospital, from a combination of a fatal injury and an incurable disease."

"Then why did you keep the lyrium on me?"  Fenris asked, quite annoyed. At that point I didn’t know what was keeping him on edge anymore.

"I don't know... I was unaware I did those things at all... I- I don't know if I can... would you want me to try removing them?"

"You shouldn't abuse the power of the book." Solas said. "I could remove your markings if you wish."

Fenris narrowed his eyes and studied Solas for a minute. "Why would you?"

"I am familiar with the spell, it causes you pain and I loathe suffering."

"Yet you wanted to destroy the world."

"I sought to restore it, to undo my own actions. I don't enjoy the pain and chaos that would  a rise and I would avoid causing them if I could."

"You're a hypocrite."

"Perhaps. But I only did what I thought necessary to save my people. You were a slave once, and that is another thing I failed to fix."

"You weren't even around then, were you?"

"No. But the Evanuris and their followers kept slaves. I tried to stop them and ultimately created the veil when all else would have been worse." Solas sighed. "I didn't foresee the harm I was doing. The elves weakened and the humans took advantage. And I'm sorry. If I could help you, I would."

"I’ll keep them."

"I thought you wanted them gone?” I asked.

"No, I merely asked why you kept them. They have cost me much in life and I’ ve learned to use them  to my benefit. I can stand the pain. I will not be vulnerable in this unknown place."

"I see. Should you ch ang e your mind, I will help you.” Solas said.

“Thanks for the offer.” Fenris said and Solas nodded in acknowledgment.

"Nothing makes sense." Hackett said.

"Now that I know the book caused this, it makes sense to me." I said.

"It doesn’t to me." Hackett continued. "Magic isn't something supposed to exist. You come from a world where we are stories in a book for you." Actually not only books. "But I am a person, I have lived through many events, and magic wasn't in any of those."

"But it exists in their world." I point to Solas, Fenris, Zevran and Iorveth. "And to them, flying in space inside a ship isn't possible. As is firing laser guns."

We stay in silence for a couple of minutes.

"I- I see. I think I'll need time to get used to this." Hackett finally said.

"Bethany." Iorveth called. "You are a human, yet you wished me here, knowing my hatred for them. Why?"

"Because I don't think you're wrong. Humans in your world are racist monsters, they destroy everything without a care. I feel for your people. I really hoped you would succeed in your war. I... know how hard you worked to help them. People think you're heartless because they don't see how much you care for your people. I see."

"You are an oddity."

I laughed. How could I not? I thought that was the closest to acceptance I would get from him.

"I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you."

Solas returned to his spot on the bed and watched me. After a moment he spoke. "What was that about flying in space inside ships?"

"Right. In the stories about them," I pointed to Hackett, Thane and Evfra, "technology is very advanced. They have ships that can move through space, visit different species in different planets. There are many different species."

"Not all are good." Evfra said.

"Unfortunately. I guess there will always be the greedy and evil. Ketts were destroying his people before the Initiative arrived and the human Pathfinder could help."

"What is the Initiative?" Thane asked. "Where are you people from, Evfra?"

"He's from Andromeda." I answered.  I should let them know what I knew. "There was a project to send people  from the Milky Way there. Officially it was so they could study the galaxy, meet new species, colonize. Unofficially it was so the Milky Way people wouldn't vanish in the Reaper war."

"So they  _were_ fleeing." Evfra said.

"Yes, but only a few knew. The human Pathfinder found out eventually. Was- were they a good Pathfinder?"

"Another variable person?" I nodded. "He was an aggravating individual, but worked hard to help everywhere he could. His sister was easier to deal with. I suppose my work would've been easier if she had been the Pathfinder instead."

"Did... did they find the Quarian Ark?"

"I don't know. I awoke here after they settled an office in Meridian for the Moshae."

"Oh…"

"I’ ve heard of the Initia ti ve.  S ome people under my command left to join it.” Hackett  sai d. “Are you saying they made it to Andromeda? Wouldn’t that be-"

“In the future?” I interrupted him. “Yes. It took them around 600 years to get there.”

“You’re telling me he’s from my future?”

“I… suppose?” I didn’t really know what to say and I didn’t really want to think about it. It was awkward enough to have people from different fictional worlds talking to me, I wasn’t sure my brain could handle time differences.

“This only gets more difficult to believe...” Hackett sighed. “What… what is a Moshae?”

"She's their most precious person. She's a leader and not. She's wise, brave, a great researcher and basically a genius."

"High praises. One would think you have never met her." Evfra said and I was surprised by his sarcasm. I really shouldn’t have been. “I’ll admit she’s all that, but she can be difficult.”

"I guess everyone who’s too focused on their job can be difficult.” I sa id with a smile. “In the story I saw things from the Pathfinder's point of view, so I saw the rescue and the conversations that followed."

"You saw exaltation…"

"I did... I'm sorry, Evfra."

"What is exaltation?" Hackett asked.

"Something better discussed another time. It's... tragic."

"Bethany." Evfra said. "If you saw things from the Pathfinder's point of view, why am I here? I can't imagine he saw me favorably."

"He... well, if there was a solid opinion it wasn't shown to me. But... I saw a man scarred by tragic events who wasn't afraid to gather people and fight until his last breath. A man who turned confused and scared people into fighters and was able to hold off the enemy. A man so dedicated to his duty that he didn't care about himself. A man who despite all the darkness still saw a light worth fighting for. I... hoped that I could see you happy." The game never gave me that.

"We are all men of violent lives." Thane said. "And we're all here because you wanted us to be happy?"

"I guess so. It... it was always something I wished for. That each and every one of you would find happiness. And well... I guess since I also wanted to be with you all... I just never thought this would happen."

"You wanted to be with us?" Solas asked.

"Not everyone at once! This... is more than I ever imagined."

"But everyone nonetheless."

"Uh... yeah... I really do love you all…"

"A big heart." Alucard said with a chuckle.

"And she's not racist." Iorveth said. "Very odd."

"Tell us about you." Solas asked and the others murmured agreements.

"Well... I'm twenty-five years old, I used to work at a drugstore. A place that sells medication, for those of you who don't know. I lived alone in a small city, I lost my parents in a car accident at my nineteenth birthday...  A wesome gift, huh?” I sighed and they gave me their sentiments. “Thank you, it’s alright. I’m used to being alone now. My relationship with  my other relatives wasn't good so I've been living alone since. I immersed myself in the stories about you all whenever I wasn't working. Then last week I traveled abroad, and bought the book that got us all here…"

"That's a lonely life." Hackett said.

"Am I the only one that finds it strange that she found comfort in violent stories while she lived a peaceful life?" Fenris asked.

"No," I  sai d, "it wasn't about the violence. It was about the people, about you all. How you all fought for better times, bonded with others, persevered."

"Except him." Fenris pointed to Alucard behind me. "You said yourself, you like the violence around him."

"Eh... yeah. He's... complicated. He affects me in a primal level that is almost uncontrollable."

"Such nice words, little witch." Alucard said before blowing hot air in my neck, and I let out a moan accidentally.

"Shit. Don't do that."

The vampire chuckled. "Gentlemen, I don't like sharing, but this lady brought us all here out of pure love. I don't have anything better to do, and since we're stuck here until she finds a way to release us, I will be enjoying it. I suggest you do the same, but I would love the exclusivity."

Just  _what_ was that vampire proposing?

Of course I loved everyone in that room, and I desired them all. I wanted to touch them and be touched by them all, but I also was completely inexperienced and insecure.

"Are you proposing a party?" Zevran asked with a smile. "Oh I'm in."

"This is absurd." Hackett said. "Even debauchery has limits."

Alucard laughed. "No, it doesn't. It  took an asteroid to stop two cities."

"That- you can't be serious. Is that what we're here for, Bethany?"

"Of course not. That's his idea."

"Tell them you don't like it." Alucard said and I could see he was enjoying this far too much.

"I can't deny the thought is appealing. There, I said it. But no, I'm not proposing we do it."

"Good." The room almost entirely said in unison. Only Zevran was quiet.

"Well, she's ours then, little assassin." Alucard said.

"No. I'm not." Not yet. I stood. "I'm gonna check the rest of the house if anyone want s to join. I'm hungry."

"I'll return to the room I awoke in and meditate." Solas said.

"Sure."

The others each stood and moved, saying they would also return to their room and think on what had been said. The only one to follow me down the corridor was Zevran. Alucard simply disappeared into the shadows.

The staircase led us to a large dining room, with a table long enough for twelve people and a connecting living room with big sofas. Just as the decorations on the floor above, everything was rich and beautiful.

There was a fireplace and even though the fire was burning, there was no wood or gas burners. Was it magical fire?

I made my way to the door on the left and found the kitchen. It was large, with broad windows and light colors. The refrigerator was big and it surprised me to find plenty of ingredients. From dairy products to fruits and vegetables and even meat. Variety wasn't an issue. I wondered if Thane and Evfra could eat these foods.

"Do you want anything?" I asked Zevran while I grabbed a peach.

"Your lips." I turned in surprise.

"Are you serious?"

"I'm here because you want me. I'm quite happy to be here and I thought I could repay you."

"You don't have to kiss me just to make me feel better." I t ook a bite and chew ed on the juicy fruit, which drip ped from my lips. Before I c ould do anything, Zevran's finger collect ed the drop and t ook it to his tongue. I watch ed as he suck ed and release d the finger with a pop of his lips.

"If I'm offering is because I want it." He leant his hip on the counter beside me and watched me. "I take my pleasures where I can find them, and I can give you much."

"Tempting."

"I'd be content with your lips for now."

"And what if I'm not?"

"Well, the more the better."

I really wanted that man, and I couldn't refuse him when he touched my face so delicately. I closed my eyes, and next I felt his lips on mine. He was soft and warm, and he pulled my lower lip to suck it. Soon we were both rubbing our tongues against each other and sucking them, alternatively sucking lips and nibbling them. The peach laid forgotten on the counter when I took my hand to his hair, pulling him closer to my mouth in an insatiable kiss.

His hand touched my butt and pulled me closer, I wrapped  one  leg around his and he pushed me against the counter. He was so hard against my mound. And it would require so little to feel him slide inside. But I broke the kiss and pulled away. He stepped back and watched.

Fixing my clothes and wiping saliva from my face, I took deep breaths to sober up. "Wow... you're a great kisser."

He smirked. "I could give you more."

"I know." And I was quite breathless as I picked back the peach. "Ah, it's just... this is too fast. And eh... I'm a virgin."

"Oh. Are you afraid I'll hurt you?"

"No, eh, maybe. But that's not it. I just want some time to be sure."

"To be sure it's not one of them you want your first time with?" I was going to deny it but he continued, "Don't worry. Whatever you decide, mi cara." He leaned closer and planted a swift kiss on my lips. "As long as I can have those lips I'll be fine. No rush."

"Thanks, Zevran."

"I'll go back to my room for now."

"Oh, sure."

Left alone, I decided to investigate the rest of the house. Past another door I found a large bathroom with a large bathtub. And it was a hydromassage bathtub. I had been greedier than I thought. I wondered what the book had actually done, and what had been the price I paid for all that. There was also a shower enclosure large enough for two. The toilet was hidden and the sink was double. It was very well illuminated and beautifully decorated. Everything in light tones of blue, green and white.

When I was leaving, Alucard appeared in front of the door, with one of those large grins of his. "Your little assassin is touching himself."

"What? Which one?"

"Oh right, you have more than one cold blooded killer."

"Is that supposed to offend me?"

He laughed. "No. Just an observation. But I meant the elf who you had with you until a while ago. He returned to his room and couldn't resist."

Heat coursed through me at the thought of Zevran touching his shaft because of our kiss. Alucard cleared his throat and I blushed. He laughed.

"Oh, so adorable. I would say pure but you're long past that in your mind."

"Why did you come tell me this?"

"I just thought it would be fun to let you know. And it was. Now," he held my waist, "since we're alone, how about you and I have some fun?"

God, he was hot. I don't think I could ever refuse this vampire. Soon his lips were on mine, and he tasted good. Too good. It did things to my taste buds, as if he was the best thing I’ve ever tasted. His mouth moved against mine in a way that made me feel in the clouds. He was large and hot against me, his torso covered my front completely and my nipples were hard as I heaved against his solid chest.  He was taller and  I had to tilt my head up but I didn’t mind, I needed his lips.

His hand slid lower and grabbed my butt, pulling me hard against his hips. I felt him hard, throbbing through the thin fabrics. His hand pulled my leg up and I locked it around his butt just as he lifted me. He turned and pressed me against the door. It was amazing to feel him pinning me like that. His hips moved, causing delicious friction and I moaned into the kiss.

His mouth left mine to lick and suck a way down to my neck. I was sure he would make me come just with what he was doing. And I wanted him to. And above all else, I wanted to know what it would feel like to have him sink his teeth in me.

As if reading my mind, something I forgot he could do, he granted my wish. I felt his teeth pierce my neck, and instead of pain it gave me pleasure. I came in his arms, my whole body feeling like melted butter, and I loved it. I had barely registered the loud cry of pleasure that left my mouth, and at that moment I didn't care if the others heard.  
Alucard slowly set me down, and his smirk was delicious. He licked his bloodstained lips and I realized what had just happened. Worry sobered me quickly. "Will I turn?"

"No." He smiled. "But I could do it if you want."

"Not... yet. I- I don't know if I want to." I saw what was left of the peach on the floor and kneeled to pick up the seed. I remembered that in the story wom e n had to be virgin to be turned. I wasn't sure I could resist until I made my mind.

"You don't have to be."

"Hm?" I raised and looked at him.

"You don't have to be virgin for me to turn you. Not here. Somehow your book altered that."

"How do you know?"

He shrugged and that was an odd movement on him. "I just do. You won't have to save yourself for me, little witch. Unless of course you want me to be your first."

"Well... you already are the first to make me come."

"Oh?"

"Yes. And uh... did you?"

He smirked. "I got what I wanted."

"You only want blood? Don't you feel pleasure anymore?"

"I do feel. I simply don't crave it. Blood is what matters to me."

"So you didn't?"

He was so amused it was annoying. He wanted me to say it. "You didn't come?"

He brought his hand to my cheek, surprising me with his gentleness. "No. Would you like me to?"

"Ah... well, of course. That's fair, isn't it?"

He chuckled. "You think it's not fair even though I drank your blood? I say we're even, little witch."

"Is it the same for you? Drinking blood, is it the same as an orgasm?"

"Quite. Especially when the donor is going through one." Oh.

"I see."

"You think you're no more than a blood bag. Well, you  are , little witch. You are warm, soft and smells deliciously. You have a kind heart, big enough to love so many different men. Even some, as myself, who are considered monsters. You are a delightful little human."

"Eh... thank you, Alucard."

"I do wonder, how long it'll take another to come looking for your attention." And before I could say anything he disappeared into the ceiling, laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bring another chapter, and I hope you like it. As before, I don't know when the next chapter will come. I write this story when I'm struggling to sleep, so we'll see.  
> Oh, and I have to say that I'm very surprised and happy with the feedback this story received, both in comments, likes and subscriptions. It's such a crazy concept that I honestly didn't think people would be interested, much less like it so much. So thank you very much for reading and letting me know you enjoyed it! <3

It was hard to believe all that could be real, but seeing the bite mark on my neck helped a bit. It didn't hurt when I touched it, but it was obvious to whoever looked at me. I wondered what the others would think.

Exploring the cabinets, I found enough toothbrushes and toothpaste for everybody, along with towels, soap and other hygiene items. How did I get all this if I wasn't consciously thinking about any of it?

Unsure of what to do next, with my body still a bit tingly from Alucard's actions, I made my way back to the kitchen.

I didn't know what to make of the house. If that was a creation from my strongest desires, what could be outside? If my adoration for monsters translated as desire to live in a world with them I was afraid of what I could find. I had no idea if they'd be hostile if they existed, and I was afraid to find out.

Aside from that, I still had eight very complicated guests with whom I wasn't very sure how to improve relations.

I needed to make food at least, and I really hoped everybody could eat. Aside from Alucard, of course. He had already eaten from my very neck. And just the thought of it was enough to heat me up again. If he could give me so much pleasure with clothes on, I couldn't help wondering how it'd be to feel his naked body against mine. How it'd be to have him inside me.

But I forced my thoughts to clear. I couldn't lose myself in that kind of fantasy. Not when I had to figure out what was going on. And I definitely couldn't do that on an empty stomach. The peach would hold me until I prepared something. Was it lunch or dinner? I had no idea of time.

I washed the seed and set it aside on a small dish so I could prepare it to be planted later. If this was to be my perfect place then I'd have a garden and orchard.

Checking the refrigerator once again, I couldn't express how thankful I was to have so much varied food available. But I had no idea what the men liked to eat, if they were allergic to anything or felt repulsed towards some kind of food. I had to ask.

  


  


Skipping Alucard's room, I hoped Zevran was done as I knocked on his door. He opened it almost immediately, and he was topless. I know I blushed and his smirk made me want to close the door and leave, but I was there for a purpose. "Sorry to bother you, Zevran, but I'm gonna cook and I wondered if you have any objections."

"Oh, you're thoughtful, mi cara. And I see you don't know everything about me after all." He was smiling, and I bet some part of it was relief.

"I never said I knew all."

"That is good, so I can still surprise you." He leaned his shoulder on the threshold, facing me, and his scarred torso stole my attention once again. If before I politely avoided to look at it, now it was impossible not to watch. And I knew he was doing it on purpose. "I could remove the rest if you want to see more."

That brought my attention back at the man himself, not just his body. "I'm sorry. That- that won't be necessary."

"Are you sure? It would be fun. And you could touch." God I loved his accent.

"Ah, well, um, another time. Er, food? Preferences and objections? Allergies?" He laughed, the bastard.

"Eating is just another pleasure for me, Bethany. I don't object to anything."

"Oh, alright. I- I'll see the others."

"Sure."

He stayed at the door, watching me as I went to Fenris' room. I took a deep breath before knocking, hoping he was calmer.

The white haired elf opened the door and grunted when he saw me. "What do you want?"

"Fenris, I'm sorry for bringing you here without your consent. I wasn't aware. I-" I sighed, "I don't want you to hate me."

"No, you want me to love you. Like you do all those others." It was hard to hear a voice I loved so much be so mean towards me. He was angry, and I couldn't blame him, but it still hurt.

"You don't need to love me, just please don't hate me." And my voice was straining, if that continued I would cry. I took a deep breath and focused on why I was there. "I came here to ask what kind of food you like and dislike and if there's anything you're allergic to. I'm cooking and I didn't want anything bad to happen."

"One would expect a prisoner to eat anything."

"Fenris, you're not my prisoner. If I knew how I would send you back." Even if it meant hurting myself. And just knowing how much he hated it here, with me, hurt me. It was unavoidable then, the tears I didn't want to shed came out. I immediately rubbed them away and tried to control my breath. But that is never an easy task.

Fenris was shocked at first, and some of his anger seemed to fade, but he was still serious. I didn't give him room to speak, I needed that to end even if it meant leaving without his answer if he didn't want to say anything about it and wanted to argue instead. "Preference and objections to food?" My voice was horrible but there was no way around it.

"You- I-" He muttered something under his breath I couldn't understand, "just... don't mix sweet and salty." I doubt he wanted it, but his answer made me smile a bit.

I nodded, and I planned to leave with just that, but it would be insufficient. I cleared my throat and said "Thank you. I'll let you know when it's ready." My voice was unstable, but at least I wasn't on verge of tears anymore. The thought that Fenris may not hate me forever lifted a weight from my heart.

I walked away to Thane's room and heard Zevran speak. "That's not how you should treat a lady, Fenris."

"Oh shut it, assassin." And Fenris closed his door with a bang.

I didn't dare look behind me and just knocked on the other assassin's door. Thane took longer than the others to open it. "Bethany. What can I do for you?"

I gave him a smile. My heart still ached from the latest conversation and having this man treat me so nice was a comfort I really needed. "You're amazing, Thane." I said before I realized it. The look of surprise on his face was cute, and I couldn't let him speak anything about my slipped words. "Just ignore that." I chuckled. "I came to ask if you can eat human food."

"I can."

"Oh great! Ah, I'm cooking so I needed to know if you could. Do you have any preference or anything you don't like?"

"I'm actually not familiar with human foods. Despite being able to eat them, I never tried anything aside from what we had at the Normandy, which wasn't varied."

"Oh, I guess we'll have to try and find out your taste then."

"Yes." He smiled a little thing, but enough to warm my heart. "Would you mind if I helped you with cooking?" That surprised me.

"Not at all. I didn't know you liked to cook."

"It's a routine I enjoy and that I miss since... well, one doesn't cook in a hospital."

My hand found his arm and I was surprised with myself. Removing it would be even weirder so I left it there, an anchor to my words. "I'm sorry you went through that. And it'd be my pleasure to have your help."

"Thank you." I removed my hand and he stepped forward and out of the threshold. He closed the door and I realized he'd follow me.

"I need to ask the others about what they eat, so maybe you could go to the kitchen and get familiar?"

"I'll do that. Where is it?"

"Downstairs, first door on the left."

Thane nodded and left. I watched him go and noticed Zevran was no longer at his door.

Hackett didn't take long to answer the door. "Bethany. Do you want to come in?"

"Thank you, but it's not necessary. I'm just here to ask if you have any preference or objections to food. I'm cooking."

"Oh. I'm not a fan of carrots, if that counts as objection." My face must have betrayed my surprise because he added. "Unusual, I know."

"No carrot cake then?"

"I actually like the cake."

I chuckled. "Alright, Admiral. I'll make something without carrots." I said with a smile.

"Would you want some help?"

"Thane is already there, but I wouldn't mind. And considering we're cooking for eight I guess I could use the help."

"I'll help then."

"It's downstairs, first door on the left. I need to talk to the others before I go back so I'll meet you there."

"Sure." He stepped into the corridor then, closing the door behind him. "I'll be downstairs." I turned to head to the next door, but Hackett stopped me with a hand softly gripping my wrist. "Bethany."

"Yes?" I turned to face him, confused.

"What happened to your neck?" He released me.

"Alucard." I said with a smile, but it was clear the Admiral didn't like it.

"He hurt you."

"He drinked from me. I guess he won't join us at the table."

"He drinked…"

"He's a vampire, Hackett. The real deal. Don't worry, it didn't hurt. I guess he left the mark on purpose for people to know he did it."

"You would let a monster do that to you so calmly?"

"It's not as terrible as you think. It was good." And I was blushing again.

"Will you be like him?"

"No. He said he'd turn me if I asked, though. I don't want to yet."

"But you plan to?"

"I guess. I don't want to die, there are things I want to do. Three of those men are immortal. I want to be with them forever if I can."

"Being cursed to avoid the sun and to drink blood?"

"I think it's a small price to pay."

"I wouldn't be so sure." He sighed. "I'll be in the kitchen, Bethany." I gave him a nod and he left.

Next was Iorveth. I still couldn't believe I fixed his eye. The scar was there, but the eye was healthy. He didn't take long to answer the door either. "Bethany. Thank you once again for my eye. I never thought I would see with it again, much less that a dh'oine would be the reason I did."

"I'm glad to be a different dh'oine." I said with a smile. "And I hope we can be friends."

"I know you want more than that."

"I won't deny my feelings, but I won't impose them on you either. It's already bad enough you're stuck here because of me."

"I’ve been in worse prisons." I'm surprised.

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"It's not as if you had done it on purpose. If you had I would probably kill you."

"Ah."

"Come in, there are things I want to ask you."

"Would you mind waiting a bit? The reason I came by is to ask you if you have any preference or objections to food. I'm cooking us lunch, or dinner. I'm not sure what time it is."

"That would be dinner. It was almost noon when I went outside."

"Oh. Thanks. I need a clock. So, food?"

"No objections."

"Funny that nobody so far told me their preferences."

"Maybe they don't have. Food is food." I supposed that's what someone who's struggled to survive most of his recent life would say. Hopefully I could show him good food and have him enjoy a simple pleasure in life.

"Alright. I'll let you know when it's ready."

He surprises me when he steps into the corridor and closes the door. "I'll take a walk around."

"You'll be back, right?"

"Yes. It's not like I have anywhere to go."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. What's done is done. I'll see you later."

"Thank you, Iorveth."

He turns to look at me with a frown. "What for?"

"For not being mad at me."

"I was. But you gave me my eye back."

"Oh."

He just turned and left then. I watched him disappear down the staircase for the second time that day, but at least this time I wasn't sad. He'd be back.

I knew Solas would be meditating, but I had no idea how he did it or how long it would take, so I decided to talk to Evfra first. He didn't take long to open the door, but instead of saying anything he just stared at me.

"Hi, er, I'm making dinner and I wondered if you can eat human food."

"I guess if I couldn't I'd starve?"

"Maybe? I don't know what kind of food you have in your worlds but I could wish for them."

"That won't be necessary. I can eat your food."

"Oh. That's great! Any preference or something you hate? Or maybe allergies?"

"No. Anything will be fine."

"Ah, alright. I'll let you know when it's ready then."

"Bethany."

"Yes?"

"Why me?"

"What?"

"I can see a pattern in your taste when I see the others. I don't fit that pattern."

"Ah. Why do I love you?" He nodded. "You're brilliant, as I told you before. And if by pattern you mean their bodies, I think you're just as handsome. Of course you're different, but so damn hot all the same. And damn... your eyes are wonderful."

His answer was a groan. How was I supposed to understand what he meant with it?

"I hope I'm not repulsive to you."

"No. But you expect me to love you. I can't promise that."

"I expect us to be friends. I won't impose my feelings on you." Another groan. Was that his way of acknowledging my words? "I'll let you in on a secret. Most people loved Jaal-"

"Of course they did."

"And even though the option in the story was him and not you, you were always the one I wanted. I loved the way you said 'Good.' whenever Ryder said goodbye."

"Good?" Damn it if there wasn't something in his voice in that single word. I could only nod, I didn't trust my voice. "You humans are odd."

"No. It's just... your voice does things to me. It's called a kink."

"You become aroused by my voice alone?"

Oh shit I did just say that, didn't I? Oh god.

It's funny how words can slip so easily sometimes, and thinking back on those moments, it happened quite often around those men. I guess I felt safe with them, as if it was natural. As if I could trust them implicitly and be myself openly. But knowing that now didn't stop me from being embarrassed then. And I was mortified. I didn't want to lie or flee, so I nodded.

"I admit that it is the first time I'm told I have this effect."

"And is it good to know?" I didn't know where the boldness to ask came, but I was thankful for it. I didn't want to seem weak and coward.

"Yes."

Hell. I could regret it, I could regret it down to my soul, but I had to do it. I touched his hand and approached my face as close to his as I could without heels. It left me on his chin, but it was enough. "Good."

Evfra just watched me. And I retreated slowly. Finally he said "I thought you said you wouldn't impose your feelings."

"And I won't. But I got carried away by the conversation." He groaned and I was quite sure that was an acknowledgment.

"I want to watch you cook." The change of topic caught me off guard.

"Sure. Hackett and Thane are down in the kitchen waiting to help me. If you don't mind their company."

"I don't."

"Alright. I'll talk to Solas about the food and I'll meet you there."

"Good." And with that he closed the door and left me. I wondered if he chose the word on purpose. And what it would mean if he did.

Solas took a while to answer, and he was calm when he greeted me. "I'm making dinner and I wanted to know if you have any preference or objection to food."

"Nothing spicy would be preferable."

"Noted. Anything you would like to eat? It'd help me choose. Chicken, steak or sausages for example?"

"Fish." That got a smile from me.

"Awesome. I was hoping someone would say fish."

"I thought you didn't know what to cook?"

"I don't, but I would choose fish myself and now I won't look selfish."

"I see."

"I'll let you know when it's ready, Solas."

"Thank you."

Having my information, I make my way down to the kitchen, finding the three men among all sorts of food on the counters and small island.

"What are you doing?" It was odd and endearing at the same time. Domestic, even. It looked like they were helping organize things after grocery shopping and it was really comforting.

"Taking inventory." Hackett said and I noticed the pencil and notebook in his hand.

"Why?"

"We don't know what's out there, what this place you created has. We might need to ration food until we find out."

It not once crossed my mind that we didn't know of a source of food, or of anything. The flame in the fireplace was odd and I didn't think about it, but what of water and food supply? What about garbage collection? At least the house had plumbing but where did it go? If Alucard was right and it was only us in this place... what would happen?

"Shit... I didn't think about it."

"You really don't know what you have created?" Thane asked and I could only shake my head while I thought about things.

I wouldn't wish for a place where we would die, so there must be something out there to sustain us. "I need to take a look around, maybe I'll find answers."

"I hope you do." Hackett said without taking his eyes off the paper. "This shouldn't take much longer, so we could start cooking while you're away. What did you plan to cook?"

"I was going for bouillabaisse but now I'm not so sure anymore... if we have to be careful with food…"

"We should be able to make it without using too many ingredients. Soups are always the best form of rationing food anyway." The Admiral said. "It's a good choice."

"Hopefully we won't have to worry about food rationing. I'll be back shortly." Hopefully. "Oh and there are a few rules: no carrots," and that got a smile from Hackett, "no mixing sweet and salty, and nothing spicy."

"Noted." Thane said and I left.

Exploring the rest of the house I found a library, or a really big office. It probably shouldn't have, but it surprised me to find the book that got us in this mess lying innocently on the table. I didn't know what to make of it, but I had to take a look on those pages.

Written in those once old pages were no longer the Japanese texts I had translated. In their place were English words telling about me, about who I was and my wishes. The more I read the creepier it became, until I reached the part where it told about us all in this house, in this land. I was afraid of what it would say, that perhaps it would show a terrible ending, so I flipped to the end and found the pages blank. Disappointment but also relief coursed through me. I couldn't know my future, but that meant it also wasn't set in stone. Or paper, as it was.

I flipped back the pages to try and get useful information out of it, and I realized this place I had created was oddly similar to a sandbox game. One in which I could worldbuild. Somehow, reading the book, I just knew I had created a story of my own, where I was the god, controlling everything.

Tempting, isn't it?

But I had learned from the actions of the previous person the book worked with, I knew that if I asked too much from its power everyone would suffer. I didn't know if I had entered the book, I didn't know if my body was still in my bed while my spirit was in this new land, but I did know that I couldn't go back; the book told me as much in those new pages. This was my life now, and whether it was a happy or tragic one it would depend solely on my decisions, on my greed.

Knowing that I could wish for anything as long as I was willing to pay a price I didn't know made me think of the possibilities to this place. Maybe I could treat it as a Sims game. But since the price could be too high, I decided that I'd ask for the means, not the end.

So instead of wishing for a self-replenishable fridge, I hoped to have a fertile land where I could grow every sort of food and wished for sped up growth. After all, we didn't have enough resources to wait years for the plants to grow and bear fruit.

The book shone, and I knew it had recorded my wish. And there it was:

> _And the land where they lived was special, for it offered its products in a rate much faster than any other. Should they care for it, nobody would ever know hunger._

I wondered what my price was. No matter where I looked among those words, I never found a price being depicted. So I had to wait and find out.

Having decided to start my garden in the morning, I went back to the kitchen. True to their words, they started cooking without me. The ingredients they wouldn't use were nowhere in sight and I supposed they had put them back in the refrigerator and cabinets.

"Any luck?" Hackett asked while stirring sliced onions in a pan. Thane was coating fish slices in seasoning while Evfra watched.

I washed my hands and got to work on the tomatoes, careful to

keep the seeds. "Yes. I found the book that started it all."

"Does it mean you can send us back?" Evfra asked.

"I don't know. It said this was my life now, but didn't mention what it meant for you all."

"Do you have it?" Hackett asked.

"It's in the library. Or office. Whatever that is."

"Would you mind if I looked at it?"

"Suit yourself. Just be prepared to read about my boring life. It doesn't tell about the greedy dude anymore, it's telling my story."

"You know ours, now we can know yours." Thane said.

"I guess it's only fair. But it's nothing special. No saving lives, no life-changing events. Just simple me doing daily stuff."

"I'll let you know when I read it." Hacket said just before adding garlic and releasing one of my favorite aromas into the kitchen.

"God, I love garlic."

"And you said you want to be a vampire."

"Garlic doesn't affect real vampires. The ones of Alucard's breed, so to speak."

"Even if it doesn't, you won't eat it anymore if you turn."

"That... is true. I suppose I'd have to care for the garden at night too."

"What exactly is a vampire?" Evfra asked.

"Hmm. Basically they're cursed humans who live forever as long as they don't go into the sun and drink blood."

"What an odd curse."

"We had a similar myth in our world." Thane said. "But it was just that, myth."

"Until I saw that man I also thought our myth was just myth." Hackett said and took the tomato cubes from me.

"Well, until I woke up here all of you were just fantasy."

We cooked in silence until Thane and Hackett started discussing the differences in their realities. In essence, Jane Shepard was a paragon who did everything she could to help and make the galaxy a better place. John Shepard was a ruthless renegade; he helped, but didn't stop to think if the means were right. Both were hated by just as many people. Hackett said many people hadn't liked being made half-synthetic, but that he was thankful for it. The signs of age that had started bugging him were gone. It got me wondering what sort of change the Admiral had in his body. Synthetics didn't age or become sick, what did that mean for him?

  


Evfra was telling us about the first contact with the Initiative when Iorveth returned. "That smells good."

"It does, doesn't it?" I said with a smile. "How was your walk?"

"Different. It's nice to see with perspective after so many years."

"I'm glad. What is there to see out there?"

"You don't know?"

"I haven't left the house yet."

"You have no idea what you created?"

"Nope. I only know that now whatever I plant will grow quickly."

"What do you mean?"

"I wished for it instead of abusing my power and wishing for a self-replenishable fridge."

"I suppose that's a better option." Hackett said. "But isn't it abusing too?"

"We couldn't wait the months it would take to grow food, the reserves in the house aren't that high."

“What is a fridge?” Iorveth asked and I pointed to the large object beside the Admiral.

“That thing. It keeps food refrigerated or frozen so it takes longer to go bad.”

“That’s useful. How does it work?”

“No idea. It’s a lot of wires and pieces and some gas inside of it.” Evfra laughed at my words.

“You’re no scientist, I take it.” The angara said.

“Nope. I’m a simple person.”

“So it’s not a magical contraption.” Iorveth said.

“No. That’s mechanical technology.”

“I could probably explain it to you if I had my omnitool.” Hackett said.

“I wonder if I could have the book bring it to you… does it have schematics of things we could build here?”

“It had much more information and schematics than I could possibly remember.”

“That’s good… maybe I can have it… I wonder if it would cost us much to get it… I hope not.”

“You shouldn’t use the power of the book unless it’s really necessary, Bethany. We don’t know what it could do. You said it yourself that the man who previously used it paid a high price.”

“I know… but if it’s only us in this place we’ll have to find a way to survive and keep things going… and the information on your omnitool would help immensely with that.”

“Let me take a look at the book before you try anything.”

“Understood, Admiral.”

“I’m hardly an Admiral without a fleet. Drop the title.”

“Understood, Hackett.” He sighed and I just smiled.

"Did you find the book?" Iorveth asked, and he sounded hopeful.

"Yes. In the library. Or whatever that is."

"Did it say how you can send me back?"

"I'm sorry. It didn't." And there went his hope. “I’ll let you know if I discover anything. I hope you can believe me that I wouldn’t keep you here against your will if I could send you back.”

“I believe you.”

“Thank you.” I smiled. “So, Iorveth, what did you find outside?”

"There are animals in those woods we could hunt. Fish in the river." Iorveth said.

"Wait, there's a river?" I asked.

"Yes. It's easily accessible from behind the house."

"Nice!" That should fix our water supply. "And I had no idea there were animals here…"

"I hope your wish didn't have negative repercussions." Thane said.

"I hope not. I don't know what my actions so far have caused. The book didn't say."

I looked to the stove where the soup was almost ready. "I'll go tell the others dinner will be ready soon. Who wants to set the table?"

"I'll do it." Evfra said.

"Since I'm here I'll help." Iorveth said.

"Thank you, guys."

And I stopped door by door to tell them dinner would be ready soon, turning the lights on since it was turning dark. I stopped by Alucard's room too, just in case he wanted to join us, but he wasn't there. I peaked inside and his room was empty.

  


It was odd to sit at a table with so many people. In all my life the most I had around a table was four, including me. The fact that all these were men I loved only made it more awkward. At least they enjoyed the food.

We spent most of the time in silence, until Iorveth asked what else I found from the book. I told them what I had told the men in the kitchen, and made it clear that they could read the book if they wanted. I didn't want to keep anything from them. They deserved that at least.

I also told them I'd be starting a garden in the morning, and if anyone wanted to join they were welcome. Nobody seemed interested.

Iorveth said he'd leave to explore the area once again. I supposed he was too used to being outside, not to mention it probably made him crazy not to know where he was or what was nearby. Fenris wanted to join him, and Iorveth didn't oppose.

Solas, just like Hackett, asked about my neck. I told him what I had told the Admiral. "How often will he need blood?" The elf asked.

"I actually don't know."

"But you plan on letting him drink from you."

"Well, it's the least I can do."

"You'll be weak, Bethany."

"That's... probably true." And there was no medication in this place. "But he needs it, and I doubt any of you will do it in my place." The silence only confirmed my words.

"Couldn't he feed from animals instead?" Hackett asked.

"Maybe? I'd have to ask him."

"Do you want me to heal the bruise?" Solas surprised me with his question.

"Thanks, but no." I gave him a smile. "I... actually like the reminder."

"You like that he bit you and drank blood from you?" Fenris asked, distaste clear in his voice.

"I do. It's... sexy."

"It's disgusting. If someone placed a leech on you you'd like it too?"

"It's different, Fenris."

"I don't see how. Both would have your blood."

"But Alucard isn't disgusting. And he can give me pleasure while drinking."

That caused silence.

"Well, I like to bite and to be bitten during sex too." Zevran said.

"We didn't... do it." Did it count as sex?

"Oh?"

"The bite is pleasurable, not painful."

"Ooh. Now I'm curious." Zevran said with a smile.

"Maybe you should ask him to bite you then." Fenris said.

"Maybe I will..." And Zevran's smirk told me he really might do it. I wondered if Alucard would accept it and be nice to the assassin.

We ate in silence until we were done. "Does anybody want to help me wash the dishes?" I asked as I stood. I usually wouldn't mind doing it alone, but it was a lot.

"I'll help." Zevran said, also standing up. "It was delicious, by the way. I don't remember ever eating something this good. You're a great cook."

"I'm glad. I can't take the credit though, since Hackett and Thane helped me."

"Then I extend my compliment to the men as well."

"It was my pleasure. It has been a while since I had so much food to work with." The Admiral said.

"And I was... unable to cook for a long time. It's good to do it again." Thane said.

"Bethany, would you mind if I retired early?" Hackett asked.

"Not at all. And the bathroom is over there. There should be everything you need, Admiral." And I wondered how I'd get more.

"Oh, thank you." And he stood, making his way over to the bathroom.

"And now that I think about it, some of you probably don't know the furniture in there." I started collecting the dishes. "I'll explain after I'm done with these."

"Explain what?" Fenris asked.

"Flush toilet for one."

"They don't have it where you come from, Fenris?" Thane asked, helping me to collect dishes and surprising me. He really didn't need to help with this too.

"I don't know what that is." Fenris said.

"Neither his place nor his," I point to Iorveth, "has it.”

"Would that be another product of advanced technology?" Solas asked.

"More advanced than yours, sure."

And we clean the table, taking the dishes and pan to the kitchen. When we were halfway through, I washed and Zevran dried, Hackett passed by the door to let us know he was done.

"Thank you. Good night, Admiral." I said with a smile.

Thane excused himself to use the bathroom, and when we were finally done, Evfra went next. I wished the drell a good night and went back to the dining room to wait until Evfra was done. Zevran followed me in silence and I was starting to find it odd that he was so quiet.

Solas was asking Iorveth about his world, and from the expression on his face he was quite annoyed by his newest discovery. "Bethany," Solas turned to me, "are humans in your world just as racist?"

"They are, even though there are only humans there."

"So I was right." Iorveth said. "Humans turn on each other after there's no other race for them to destroy."

"I don't know if there was ever another race in my world, there are few data on what our scientists claim was another species, but I wouldn't be surprised if they had been exterminated by my kind."

"Yet you prefer the company of nonhumans." Iorveth said.

"Fictional at that." I chuckled. "Not all humans are bad, but when they are... it's terrible."

Evfra came out and that was my cue. "Come on, let me show you how those things work."

And I walked with them into the bathroom after wishing Evfra a good night. It was kind of fun to explain about plumbing, both from the sink and shower and the toilet. I showed them where to keep the toothbrushes and where to hang the towels. I showed them how to floss and where the razors were. And I hoped they would keep the place clean.

I waited until everybody was done before I finally used the bathroom, which thankfully was in order. It surprised me to find Alucard waiting for me when I exited.

"You did well, little witch."

"Were you watching?"

"For the most part. I also went exploring, and I must say you created a beautiful place."

"I guess I'll see tomorrow."

"Do you want company to sleep?" That was unexpected.

"I wouldn't be opposed. Are you offering?"

"I would, but there's another who would benefit more."

"Why are you being so... kind?"

"Would you rather I be cruel, sadistic and unhelpful? I could." And his eyes glistened with mischief.

"No…"

"Good. Because that wouldn't be as fun. I'm tired, little witch." And he _sounded_ tired. "This is a good place to do things differently. At least until I'm bored again." And there he was, smiling deviously and making me hot in the process. "Tsc tsc, I come as a good man but you prefer the beast."

"I... eh, I like both. I mean, I don't want you to be mean, but you're so hot when you're menacing."

He laughed. "Oh little witch, you're so honest. Tell me then, do you want me in your bed or to help the other?"

"Ah... can't it be both?"

He just smiles. "No."

"Well... I... I guess I'll help the other. It's the least I can do. I want everyone to feel comfortable here. Who is he?"

"Such a thoughtful little human." He said just before disappearing, and I thought I'd have to find for myself. But then he spoke in my mind "Go to your alien assassin." Thane.

  


I knocked on Thane's door, and he took a bit to open it. When he finally did I noticed the troubled expression on his face and the slight tremble in his muscles. "Thane," I said softly, "are you alright?"

"Yes. It's nothing. Do you need something?"

"Would you mind if I slept with you?" That took him aback.

"Eh, Bethany that-"

"Sleep. Just sleep. I... I could use a friend." If he wasn't ready to admit he needed help, I could pretend I did. "It's... everything is too new, too crazy."

"Sure. I understand. Come in."

"Thank you."

  


We didn't talk again that night, but when I noticed his shivers and held his hand, he didn't push me away. When he calmed down I drifted into sleep land, and when I woke up in the middle of the night he was spooning me from behind. I could only smile and return to my dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day in paradise. Sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out the chapter got ready before I expected. I didn't want to hold it back so here you go.  
> I hope you like it this one, things will become more... active from now on.
> 
> (If you're waiting for an update on my other fics, don't worry... I'm working on them. If you're waiting on Punishment specifically, I have to tell you that it will take a while. I'm still going through older chapters to be sure of what I have written so I don't mess things up.)

I was happy to wake up in the morning and see it hadn't all been a dream, but Thane wasn't in bed with me anymore, or in the room. I supposed it was his routine to wake up early, but I had no idea what time it was.

My plan for the day was building a garden, and I had given little thought to anything else. But a good day starts with breakfast, so I made my way to the kitchen. Only to smell something delicious as soon as I descended the stairs. Was that pancake? And who was cooking?

There were four people in the kitchen, talking about their world's differences, but the cook was Hackett. Evfra was washing the used utensils, Thane was drying them with a towel and Solas was leaning against a wall while discussing technology. They merely acknowledged my presence before continuing their conversation.

It was such a magnificent experience to witness three complete different men explain to yet another very different man how their different technologies worked. I could notice two things from the elf at that moment: bewilderment and curiosity. And I guess I would be feeling those things too in his place. As much as some magic required calculations to be performed, I doubt it compared to the level of engineering and science from the Mass Effect universe. What made it even better to watch was the fact that they were soldiers, or assassin in Thane's case, so they couldn't explain everything in the detail Solas wished; and seeing them stumble on words to explain made me feel less ignorant. Because, really, I might not be uneducated, but I'm no scientist and I had no idea how things in Mass Effect were supposed to work. But honestly, as smart as that mage was, I doubted he could learn physics and more of that advanced stuff without proper lecture, without thorough study and documentation.

And at that thought I began an inner conversation with myself. We needed this place to work, but how could we? Even if I was successful in acquiring Hackett's omnitool how could we make things? None of us was a builder or engineer, as much as I liked gardening I was no farmer, how could we have necessary materials to work with? Would we have to learn how to mine and craft stuff? Make our own clothes and shoes? That would be such a waste and not something I'd like to do to spend my time with them. We were nine very different people used to different levels of comfort and technology. They were fighters, survivors, and I was just a girl from early twenty-first century. And again, we were nine people stuck in a new world.

It was a dream come true to have them all here with me, but reality was hard. Isolation leads to stagnation, which leads to death. It was terrifying to realize the extent of the trouble we were in. It's one thing to spend a week in a desert island, it's another to live in it for years. Even if we could acquire basic resources and water boredom would creep in, perhaps something even darker like depression. And I had no idea how to make it work, how to prevent the bad consequences of my wish.

Could they live the rest of their lives happily in a place like this? As if it was forced retirement?

Sadness filled my heart when I realized there was nothing but darkness ahead, and that I had dragged them in. I couldn't care about myself at that point, it was my fault after all. But they deserved to be happy and I had to find a way to allow them to be.

"Bethany?" Solas' voice calling my name brought me back to the kitchen. "Is something wrong?"

I took a deep breath, trying to focus. It wouldn't help to despair; I didn't even know what was out there. I should think about those things after I saw what was going on.

"Just thinking about this place. I need to discover what exactly is out there."

"Before you do anything." Hackett said with a portion of pancakes on a dish, offering it to me.

"Thank you." I took the dish. "Do you know about the others?"

"The vampire has yet to appear." Solas said. "Iorveth and Fenris already left. Zevran is outside."

"What time is it? It seems like I overslept."

"The sun rose about two hours ago." The elf said.

"That makes it what? Seven?"

"Maybe." Hackett said. "We need a clock."

"Yes, we do." I sighed. I noticed then that each one had a portion of pancake in hands. "Isn't it better if we go to the table?"

"We were waiting for you." Evfra said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Let's go." As soon as we were sited I asked "What is Zevran doing outside?"

"Checking the place out." Hackett said. "We all were out there doing the same, searching for signs of danger and learning the surroundings, but he said he'd search for a while longer."

"And did you find anything?"

"No. There seems to be nothing in the immediate area. And the structure outside seems to be perfect. Although it's hard to confirm without a specialist or an omnitool to scan it."

"I'm going to start on that garden after I'm done, then if I still have some strength left I'd like to walk around, see things for myself."

"You should know, Bethany," Hackett was so serious I was afraid of his words, "there's no fuel in the fireplace. The flame seems to be burning without combustion. The same happens in the stove. There is no power supply for the lights or the heating system for the water. Everything here just works, without the means to."

That was shocking. "You checked?"

"There are no power outlets on the walls, no wires behind the light switches. We found no power box, no furnace and no generator."

"God... that's creepy."

"Even Solas' description of magic systems says some form of link should exist between the items and supplies."

"And I feel no magic in the house or outside." Solas said.

"How... I don't understand. Things should have the means to happen."

"The closest explanation I can find for this anomaly is the fade. But I don't feel it."

I scoffed. That was ironic, comic even. The closest explanation was that we were all in a dream. "I'm sure I'm awake. And the fade doesn't exist where I'm from. It's all that book's construct."  
"It's why I said it was the closest explanation. I didn't say we were in the fade."

"Sorry, I guess I got defensive." I sighed. "It's just that I was thinking about it before, that only a dream could put you all in the same place."

"That and your book, apparently. I wish to read it, if you really don't mind."

"I don't. It's only fair."

"Aren't you afraid that I could attempt something with it?"

"Like what? I doubt you'd do anything that would put us in danger, and I'm sure you'd be careful when handling it. Plus, you might be able to find something in it that helps us."

"You have me in high regard."

"All of you. And it shouldn't be surprising, you know you're here because I love you. I would only love you if I thought highly of you. Even though I know of your shortcomings."

"Love can take many shapes, have many reasons, become corrupted. And above all, you could be lying."

"I guess I could. I'm not. You can believe me or not. I'd rather you did because it would suck to have you doubting me."

"How can you be so calm about all of this?" Evfra asked.

"I have two options: despair and fail or think calmly while I learn about what is going on and succeed."

"You remind me of Shepard." Hackett said, and he sounded wistful.

"I guess I learned a lot with her- them."

"I hope you don't think this is a story." Evfra said.

"I don't. I would be on the other side of a screen watching an avatar if it was."

"What do you mean?" Solas asked.

"How do I say this... imagine if you could watch stories play out in a mirror and choose the actions of the main character, where they went, who they talked to."

"That sounds fascinating. As if it was an interactive and visual book?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"So we were video game characters to you." Hackett said quite plainly.

"Yes. Except for Alucard, Kurama and Sesshoumaru. They were characters in illustrated books, manga. Did they have that in the future?" Hackett nodded and I continued. "There were games about them too. And TV shows. But they were from books initially."

"This is still hard to believe." The Admiral said while rubbing his eyebrows. "But I guess I don't really have an option considering this place doesn't make sense and we're here."

"And I'm sorry for dragging you all to this mess."

"Well, I'm not!" Zevran says while coming from outside. "And I see you started without me."

"It's better when warm and we didn't know when you'd return." Hackett said. "It's in the kitchen."

"Wash your hands first." I said as he walked to the kitchen.

"Of course, my lady." Zevran teased with a smirk, but it made me feel weird, as if I was ordering an elven servant around, and I hated it.

"I'm no lady." I sighed. "I'm gonna go start that garden. I hope there are tools around." I ate the last piece of pancake and stood. "You don't have to wash it for me, I'll do it when I'm back."

"Be careful." Hackett said.

  


  


The view outside was astounding. There were stone walkways leading from the door to around the house and into a shed. Flower beds covered the areas close to the house and there was even a small pond. I've never seen such pure nature before and the air was fresher than in anywhere I've been to. The sun was nice and warm, the wind was soft and refreshing. This place was a blessing.

I could see the water in the river glistening with the sunlight and it got a smile from me. This really is where I've always dreamed of living. I could hear birds somewhere close, but couldn't spot them. Deciding to leave the exploration for later, I went back to searching for the perfect place for a vegetable garden.

After I decided on the place I walked to the small shed, hoping there were tools inside. The place surprised me, it had everything I could possibly need to do anything I wanted. There were even tools I had no idea what they were for. What exactly did the book build for me?

I put on the protective gloves, grabbed the tools I'd need for the garden and walked back to the site. This was going to be a lot of work, but thankfully the sun was gentle.

  


It was around noon when someone cleared their throat nearby. I stopped what I was doing and saw Zevran with a jar in one hand and a glass in the other, along with a smile on his face. My heart warmed up immediately. "Hey." I said a bit breathlessly, both from the surprise of seeing him and the strain of working.

"You're even more beautiful all flushed and sweaty, did you know?" He chuckled when the only response I could give him was a soft gasp. I knew he was flirty but it was amazing to be his target. I was aware it all was likely a show, but he was the only one seemingly interested in breaching the distance, in accepting my feelings. Oh and I knew his reservations with feelings, and could only wonder if I could ever make him feel comfortable loving someone, me. Could he ever love me? "I brought refreshments."

"Thank you." I barely felt the time pass by, but now that I stopped I realized I was tired. I laid down the hoe and removed the gloves, relishing in the freshness of the breeze against my sweaty hands. Zevran offered me the glass and poured me the liquid after I took it. I haven't realized how thirsty I was until the cold lemonade touched my mouth. And I was quite sure there was rosemary in it too. "God, this is good. Who did it?" I asked as he poured me more.

"Your Admiral." Oh. My Admiral... that sounded so nice.

"I should thank him when I return later. He's not mine though."

"Are you continuing?"

"No. Now that I stopped I realized I'm already too tired. I'll continue tomorrow."

"And would you wish a massage to help with your sore muscles?" He smirked and his eyes shone with mischief. "I'm quite skilled with my hands."

I chuckled, amused and a bit embarrassed. "I know what kind of massage you like to give."

"I know plenty, but you don't have to accept it all. You tell me to stop and I stop."

"I admit a massage would be really good now…"

"Then let me."

"I want a bath first. You may think I'm beautiful like this but I'm sticky and likely smelly."

"Oh mi cara, you are beautiful and definitely not smelly. But would you like help bathing? I could wash your back."

"You just want to see me naked." I laughed. This man was unbelievable.

"Oh I do. I won't deny it. But isn't it better to have someone washing your back than doing it yourself?"

"I don't really remember what that's like. I was a child last time I had help with it."

"I could refresh your memory."

“Well...” I wished to have him, didn't I? He's here and willing. "Alright." I noticed he wasn't expecting me to agree. "Bring the jar, we're going to the river."

"Ooh, nice. I thought you'd want to have that shower you showed."

"Later I will. Now I really could use the river."

"Lead the way."

It was about a two-minute walk from the garden to the river, and I hesitated for a heartbeat before pulling up my shirt and sliding my shorts down my legs, baring myself completely since I wasn't wearing underwear. That was, after all, my pajamas.

"My my... you are quite the vision."

Zevran was so good for my self-esteem. "Why thank you." I took the jar from him and poured myself more juice. "Are you swimming with clothes on?" I asked before drinking half the cup. Damn but I was still thirsty. He didn't take his eyes off me while slowly undressing. His shirt -and all the others'- was a button-up so I watched as his fingers pushed each button carefully, anticipating the revelation of his beautiful torso. He smirked when he noticed my interest and made his undressing more enticing. When the buttons were all undone he slowly let the shirt fall from his shoulders, and it was beautiful to see the thin and soft fabric slide down his toned arms and pool on his feet. Then his hands caught my attention once again, and with a simple tug down his hips the pants slid down his legs, showing me he was already hard. I gasped.

I knew what I said, but I didn't realize that asking him to join me naked in the river would... well, have him _naked_. It was my first time seeing a naked man in person, and as much as I was embarrassed I couldn't avert my eyes. He was handsome. Hairless, smooth, toned, and beautiful. And his shaft? Well... that was breathtaking. I couldn't help wondering what it would be like to have it in my mouth. I tried not to think about it in between my legs. He wasn't too thick, but I never put anything in there.

"You're... on." I didn't know where I found my voice or where those words had come from, it was likely that I thought aloud, but he chuckled.

"It's difficult not to be when a pretty woman invites me to bathe with her."

"I…"

"Speechless, mi cara?"

I drank the rest from my glass all at once and set it down along with the almost empty jar on the soft grass. Not looking at his body for those few seconds was enough to clear my mind a little, and I took a deep breath. "Come on, the water seems great." And I stood without looking at him, walking towards the river, and noticing I was quite wet already.

I was nervous, anxious. I loved him, I knew where this bath could take us, and I wasn't sure I was ready for it. Should I do it? Should I wait?

The water was cold, but the sun helped balance it. I walked to the deepest part where it still let my shoulders off the water and I bent my knees to soak and rub my hair. My eyes were closed so I could only feel the elf's approach. When I resurfaced he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

His hands massaged my arms and I could already notice the strain caused by the exercise. I hoped his treatment would lessen my suffering in the morning. "Damn, that's good, Zevran."

"It would be better if you were lying down. And if I had oils."

"You can do it when we return then."

"With all your lovers in there? What would they think?"

His hands moved to my shoulders then, and my legs almost faltered because of how good it felt. "I don't know what they'd think. But it's just a massage, isn't it?"

"If that is all you wish it to be."

"For now. Oh god... that's good." I took a moment just enjoying his massage before I continued. "And they're not lovers. I'm the only one loving anybody here."

"Who needs love when you can have so much fun?"

"Love is fun too. And it's warm and comforting."

"It is not worth the pain. Now this," his hands slid lower on my back muscles, rubbing places I didn't know could feel so good, "is worth your attention. A good massage, with a handsome man such as myself, with potential delicious moments of passion afterwards."  
  
"Why do you want to have sex with me?" I ended up asking, praying he'd be honest and that he wouldn't run away. He didn't answer immediately, so I decided to turn and face him.

Zevran smiled when I turned, but I noticed he was conflicted. "You are a beautiful woman, why wouldn't I want to?"

"Is that all? My looks?"

He sighed and for a second I was scared that I had pushed too far. "Everything here is new, sex is familiar. But that is a boring reason, so I choose your looks, yes. Such a beautiful and soft body. It makes me think of little else than engage in pleasurable activities."

"Zevran?" I asked while preparing myself to swim away.

"Yes?" He gave me a smirk and before his hands could reach me again I splashed water on his face.

"Catch me." And I dived, swiftly swimming far from him. He wanted something fun, I'd give him some fun.

And we played the catch and splash game for a long while, until I was too tired and I let him catch me. Still laughing, I enjoyed his hands holding my leg so I wouldn't swim away. Little did he know I was too exhausted to try. I let him pull me close, and soon my arms were the ones wrapping around him. "That was fun. You win."

"Oh? Is there a prize?"

"Of course. Every victory warrants a prize. What do you want?"

"Would it be bad if I asked for your lips?"

He couldn't ask so little, could he? He could ask anything. "Is that all? Out of everything is that what you really want?"

"No, Bethany. Obviously I want more. But I will not force you through a reward, even if I know you let me win." He smiled. "The day I have sex with you will be the day you clearly asks it."

"I knew you were amazing, but this is more than I expected." I moved closer and I could feel him still hard, even after all the swimming. "I thought you'd take the chance."

"Is that your way of saying you want me?"

"Oh but I do want you. I don't need excuses. But... call me old fashioned if you will, but I'd like my first time to be with someone who loved me."

His hand comes up to caress my cheek. "And yet you're naked in a river flushed against a horny elf."

"Because I'm silly."

"You're a romantic. That comes with it." He smirked and I found myself squinting at him, who laughed then.

"I would slap you if I had the strength. Take me to the grass and you can have your prize."

"I haven't realized you were that tired. It'll be my pleasure."

And he caught me in his arms; even with the water offering some resistance he seemed fine with it. When we reached the grass I really could barely stand, so I sat down on my shirt and watched him join me as he sat on his right beside me.

Zevran pulled me close and soon his lips were on mine. It was just as good as last night, but I was tired and so I ended up pulling him with me as I laid down. The grass was soft but pricked a bit; not enough to make me move but it made its presence known.

Among kisses, tongues and lips being sucked, I felt his hand wandering to my breast. I let him, despite knowing that would encourage him, and wandered with my own hands on his back. I could feel his scars, but put the thoughts of battle away from my mind.

At some point his knee pushed in between my legs, and once again I let him. His hand on my breast began to tease my nipple and it caused mixed feelings in me. If I let that continue it would be too hard to stop, but I wanted him and that felt so good.

Still, that was not how I wanted my first time to be. No amount of hormones or pleasurable touches would change that. "Zevran..." I breathlessly said as he took the opportunity of the broken kiss to suck my neck. "Stop." And he did. He pulled away to look at my face and his hand stopped its fondling to simply hold me. "I don't want it to be like this."

"Are you sure you want to stop? I can see you want this as much as I do."

"I do... I want to continue but I _need_ to stop." I moved to sit up and he pulled away completely so I could. I saw how hard he was, I was so very wet and throbbing too, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't betray my conscience. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I got my prize and a little more." He stood and I couldn't look at him while he dressed himself.

"I hope you're not mad at me."

"Why would I be?"

"I've known people who would say I'm playing with you, taking advantage."

"You were nothing but honest from the very moment we met." He squatted down and I looked at him, he was serious, but gentle. "You made it clear you didn't want anything more than a kiss, I was the one reaching for more hoping you'd change your mind."

"And you have a very unsatisfied erection."

"I can deal with that later. I know you're quite unsatisfied yourself."

"Because I was jelly in your arms?"

He chuckled. "That too, but I can smell you."

"Oh."

"So I know it was difficult for you to interrupt us. I must praise your conviction."

"I wish I didn't care, so we could just pick up where we left off."

"But then you wouldn't be yourself. You'd probably be very sexually satisfied, though." I couldn't help laughing.

"You're silly." I sighed. "So cocky, but right. Damn…"

"Come on, put back your clothes unless you want me to ravage you."

"Tempting."

"Bethany, I'm not mad but I could be if you continue with this. It's torture, mi cara."

"Sorry. It's just that it is tempting. But you're right, it's not fair. I've made my decision and I have to follow through."

And so I stood and put back my clothes, under very watchful eyes. Since he didn't want juice and I could still use some, even though it wasn't cold anymore, I drank what was left of it before we began walking back to the house.

"There's something I want to ask you." He said.

"Shoot."

"Pardon?"

Oh right. "It's a way of saying ask away."

"Oh. Well, you say you love all the men you got in the house. Does that mean you want them all to love you back and share you?" It didn't escape me the fact he excluded himself there. I supposed he couldn't involve himself in anything related to feelings, so I let it pass.

"That'd be a dream come true, yes."

"Aren't you afraid they will be jealous?"

That thought really hasn't crossed my mind, at all. With the exception of the man walking beside me, the others led me to believe in their stories that they were monogamous. And here I was, hoping that they'd share a single woman with seven men.

"I... haven't thought about it."

"Well, they don't seem the type to share."

"I want you all, I can't help it. I love you all the same amount, I couldn't choose one over the other. I can only hope they don't mind it." I sighed. "But that's irrelevant, none of you love me yet."

"It's just something to have in mind. You don't want a war under your roof, yes?"

"Definitely not."

  


  


My plans for once I returned to the house was to wash the dishes and make lunch, but there were no dishes to be washed, lunch was being cooked on the stove and smelled delicious, and there were cookies both in the oven and out to cool.

"You know, I never thought I would see you all in the kitchen so much. Well, at all to be honest." I said to the Mass Effect trio.

"There's little to do and we all need to eat." Evfra said as I washed the jar.

"How was your garden experiment?" Thane asked.

"I got the site squared and marked, I'm not sure if we'd need fences. I haven't seen animals nearby. And I prepared partially the soil, it'd be probably better if I add some fertilizer at some point. I wonder if we have enough materials to start composting." I placed the glass and jar aside to dry.

"Do you know how to make it?" Hackett asked.

"Yeah. I had a small system back home." I approached the stove, which got me pretty close to the Admiral. "What's in the pot? It smells delicious."

"It was supposed to be paella but since we're saving food there are some ingredients missing."

"Damn. I'm sure it's delicious all the same. What about the cookies?"

"Some dry rations, angaran recipe."

"Oh! I'm looking forward to try it! Can I try one?"

"I'd advise against it." Evfra said. "Unless you plan on not having lunch."

"Oh? It sustains that much? Nice... I guess I'll wait then." I leaned against a counter. "Where are the others?"

"No sign of Alucard, Solas has been in the library since breakfast." Thane said.

"Hey Admiral, Zevran told me I have you to thank for the lemonade, so thank you. It was delicious."

"You're welcome." He said with a smile. "I thought you could use some."

"And I did. Is everything you make always so delicious?" I sighed with dreamy satisfaction. This would be heaven if he was so damn good at it.

"I guess you'll have to tell me yourself." And he was smirking. Admiral Hackett smirked! Gods…

"Well, I'm going for a shower. The river was great but I could use some soap."

"Enjoy your shower." Hackett said as I made my way out.

  


God, I loved those men, and I was so damn horny from Zevran's touches that I couldn't stop my thoughts from sailing onto very naughty waters. The smirk I got from Hackett was specially arousing and I couldn't help but hope that I'd have a chance, that when he said I would have to discover his prowess myself it also meant as a lover. Even if he wasn't quite conscious of it.

Shower while horny could only lead me to masturbation, which I also was sure Zevran was engaging at. And I couldn't ignore my imagination trying to recreate our moment together and extending to a version where I didn't interrupt us. To imagine his hands in place of mine was easy, the feeling of his hard and hot shaft against me too. If only I could imagine what it'd be like to feel him entering me... but it felt good to touch, and the scene played in my mind, until the short waves of pleasure left me wanting the real deal more than anything. I was only partially satisfied and it was frustrating. I could do it again but it wouldn't solve my problem.

And it was with those thoughts that I realized I didn't have clean clothes to put on after I dried myself. Well, why not give them a show of walking around the house wrapped in nothing but a towel? I wanted to seduce them after all.

I stopped by the kitchen, and I didn't miss the looks of interest in their faces as they turned to see me. Even Evfra seemed interested. Well, I suppose a fluffy white towel covering only halfway down my breast to halfway up my thighs while dripping strands of hair left droplets of water on soft flushed skin was quite the good sight.

"Did any of you see a laundry area while exploring the house earlier?" I asked, trying not to show my enjoyment at how I affected them.

"Yes." Hackett said, then hesitated. "It's beside the bathroom."

"Oh. I completely missed it. Thank you. I'll wash our clothes later then. I'll go put some on."

And I was going to. There was no mischievous plan to get their attention. I seriously planned to turn around and walk towards my room without incidents.

By now you know that's not what happened.

I turned, alright, and managed to take two steps before bumping into a tall and very solid elf. As I stepped back to apologize, distantly registering his own apology, the towel got stuck in the door's handle. Before I could catch it I was naked in front of all of them.

Well, I guess that left only three men who haven't seen me naked until that point. Of course that would be remedied eventually.

It was weird, the silence that filled the kitchen until I quickly got the towel around me again. Then, trying to pretend I wasn't mortified and probably failing because my face burned, I excused myself to go dress.

I passed by Zevran in the corridor, who looked at me with an inquisitive face. "You're not the only one who saw me naked now." I said with an embarrassed smile.

"Oh? But did any of them get to touch you?"

"No."

"Then I still have my advantage." He said with a smirk and I could barely believe him.

"But you didn't have her trembling in your arms because of pleasure you gave her." Alucard said, coming out of the wall of his room.

"And you did?" Zevran asked and a flash of white fangs was all the answer he got. "Oh. When you bit her?"

"I'll let you two talk, I'm getting cold."

"I could warm you up." The elf said.

"Oh I know... but then I'd need another shower."

Both men laughed.

  


To my surprise, my wardrobe had many types of clothes, and shoes. I put on a flowery dress and picked slippers to take with me downstairs so I would have shoes to walk outside.

The men were no longer in the corridor when I left my room, neither downstairs. I placed the slippers near the front door and took a seat at the table where the other men waited.

"You look beautiful." Thane said, getting a smile from me.

"Thank you."

I noticed they were still uncomfortable and I didn't know how to get back to a normal environment. When Zevran joined us at the table around five minutes later, sporting a very visible bite mark on his neck, it was impossible to hold back a gasp of surprise. That got the others' attention and as they realized the reason for my reaction each one of them showed a form of surprise.

"Too bad Fenris isn't here to be surprised that I followed his suggestion." Zevran calmly said. "And I agree, mi cara, it is quite the pleasure."

Hackett coughed and it startled me. "You okay?" I asked and the Admiral nodded.

"A bit shocked. Why did you let him bite you?"

Zevran shrugged. "I was curious."

"I have a hard time understanding how a person sucking your blood can be pleasurable." Solas said. "Is there magic involved?"

"I don't know. But his hand is sinful."

Now I coughed. "Did he... never mind... I don't want to know."

"Oh but you do. I can see you do." Zevran said with that smirk that could ignite me. "I hope you're not jealous, it was just a hand."

"Zevran, please spare us the details." Hackett said. I was sure I couldn't be redder.

"As you wish."

  


We ate in silence, if a heavy one at that. My thoughts kept wandering to what Alucard could have done with Zevran in that room. Was it a hand-job? Did Alucard let Zevran touch him? I wasn't sure if I was jealous about it either. But I had hoped I'd be the one to touch them. Well, I had my chances and didn't take them.

"Bethany." Solas said, breaking my reverie. "I read your book."

"Oh? What did you think?"

"I believe you."

"About?"

"Everything. And you're right to be afraid of using the power of the book."

"Did you find anything?"

"Yes. It is sentient."

"Sentient?" Evfra asked. "As an AI?"

"AI?"

"Artificial intelligence," I said, "a construct with self-awareness, capable of learning and desires."

The elf shook his head. "I'm not sure, I have never dealt with an AI before. At first I thought it a tool, but as I finished reading it I noticed it has its own conscience. But it's not in the book either."

"What do you mean?"

"There is an energy signature in the book, faint but noticeable, leading outside this house."

"So the book is sentient and is communicating with someone outside?"

"I think so, yes."

"We should investigate." Evfra said.

"I agree." Thane said. "We need to know what we're dealing with."

"You're right... but it scares me." I said.

"You should stay in the house." Hackett said.

"But whatever is happening is my fault, if you go I should go too."

"It could be dangerous." Such a protective Admiral.

"Whatever it is probably can wait until the other two men return." Zevran said. "We should ask them what they found out there before we try anything."

"He's right." Hackett said. "Did the book try to talk to you, Solas?"

"No. It seems to be just observing."

"We need to discover what it wants, why it brought us here. Wel need to scout the area, Iorveth and Fenris probably already have some knowledge on that."

"Hopefully it won't harm us." I said.

"If it only does what you want we shouldn't be in any danger." Zevran said.

"I hope Iorveth and Fenris don't take too long to return." I sighed.

  


  


I think few meals were as tense as that one, and I have to say many tense meals would still come. If before we were tense because of sexual reasons, that news from Solas added up to my worry for the exploring elves only made it worse. There was no sexual tension after that, I could tell we all just wanted to see those elves returning safely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to ask and I hope I didn't lose any of you reading this chapter. Who is your favourite man? Who brought you to this crazy fic? Who made you stay? What are you looking forward the most? Who do you think will love her first?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrangements, discussions, sadness and relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter came much faster than I thought. Would you rather I hold them back so I'll always have something to post once a month or release as soon as I have them, which could mean going a while without any update? I usually do the latter, but if you want me to have a regular schedule I could hold back future chapters.  
> I hope you like this one <3  
> Thank you very much for the support!

So the book was sentient; that made it all the more complicated. A tool you can understand how it functions and use it, but a person you have to convince, probably make deals with, and depending on the person the deals can be quite unsavory.

Hackett had questions, as did Evfra, about how exactly Solas could read the energy signature. The elf explained how he could sense it in every living being; it was a part of being elvhen, and magic could enhance it.

"So you can track the person?" Hackett asked.

"In theory, yes. But there are certain factors that could obscure the energy, and considering whatever is linked to the book has enough power to bring us all here, I wouldn't be surprised if it manipulated or even hid the energy as we try to locate it."

And it continued like that for hours; questions, theories, ideas, then something would throw them back at the start. Lunch was over, I set off to wash the dishes and we weren't making progress. Night was falling and we still didn't have a clear picture of what to do. The major problem was not knowing where we were, what surrounded us and who else could be out there.

  


It was likely around eight when Iorveth arrived with Fenris, and they brought fish. "Oh. You guys fished?" I couldn't see how they'd do it.

"Less like fishing and more like he used his strange magic on them." Iorveth said as he took the fish to the kitchen.

"What happened while we were away?" Fenris asked. "You all look worried."

"We discovered something alarming." Hackett said. "Did you two find anything out there?"

"The forest extends to great distance," Fenris said while sitting down on the sofa, "and we could spot cliffs past the hills. No sign of people." I supposed it would have been too easy if they had found the location of the summoner.

I decided to go and make dinner, we could discuss more over food. Since there was enough fish to replace what we had used and more, I thought it would be nice to have them fried for a change. I loved fish soups but I knew we would be sick of them if that was the only thing we ate.

Iorveth helped me clean the fish, which thankfully had no scales so it would be quick and clean.

"Ah... how is it being for you?" I attempted some conversation. "Being here? Are you tired? You probably walked a lot."

He looked at me from the corner of his eyes, such beautiful eyes. Damn, he was all beautiful. "I'm used to worse." He turned his attention to the fish and I thought he wouldn't say anything more, but then he continued. "That forest is old, you probably can't see it. It's been so long since I could safely walk among trees, without dh'oine or monsters to worry about. It's... refreshing."

That got a smile from me. "I'm glad.”  I took a deep breath. “Iorveth…"

"Hm?"

"I... well, damn, I'm such an inarticulate around you." I sighed.

"Do you still fear me?"

"Ah... I don't think you'd hurt me anymore, not without reason."

"But you fear me." He never stopped working on the fish. I was separating some to go into the freezer.

"I don't fear you, but I'm afraid you won't like me. I don't know how to approach you, what kind of things to talk to you about."

"Are you this open with everyone?"

"I... try to be."

"Aren't you afraid of people using it against you? Since they'd know everything about you?"

"I've learned that secrets is what causes trouble. You start hiding one thing and then you'll be suffocating and probably having to resort to lies. Dishonest people who discover said secrets would resort to blackmail. If I don't have anything to hide I don't have any burden, I'm free."

"Not an inarticulate person after all." Ah. "I don't know what sort of people you are used to dealing with, but if they seek to harm you they will use whatever they can turn into weapons, it won't matter if you have secrets or not. And you must be prepared."

"I... guess you're right."

Thinking back at that moment I wonder if Hackett and the others left us alone so we could talk or because they were too busy talking in the other room or if they were already tired of the kitchen, but back then I couldn't think about anything other than the man beside me.

"Do you think you'll ever trust me?"

He looked at me then, but it was a quick thing. I was sure my insecurities were clear and my behavior screamed 'Please like me!' and I couldn't help but feel more insecure at the thought that he would despise such behavior.

"Would you trust your kidnapper?" His words carried no bite, no anger, it was a simple question, but it hurt.

And the silence stretched.

We finished with the fish and I was burning inside. It wasn't anger, it wasn't desire as it had been with Zevran earlier, it was panic. My stomach was killing me as my mind went around and around the thought that Iorveth would never forgive me. He might not be angry because I healed him, but he wouldn't forgive me, wouldn't like me, and my heart ached.

I tried my best not to show how much it hurt, not to let tears fall. He didn't deserve the burden of knowing how much his words had hurt me, it was my own fault. I had dragged him there without his consent, I couldn't send him back, he just wanted to return to his people and fight for a better world.

"Thank you for your help." I finally said. "You can go shower and rest your feet. I'll take care of the food." I tried a smile, but I was sure he knew then that I was hurting. Why? Because he faltered in his movements. I knew he saw the pain in my face, and I noticed he planned on saying something, but he simply nodded and left. I didn't blame him, I couldn't. I had brought it upon myself.

  


I made some broccoli rice and mashed potatoes to go along with the fish. I missed soda, but I supposed I would have to get used to its absence. I decided to prepare lemonade for us, and since I didn't know how much rosemary to add I left it out.

The discussion about what to do continued past everyone had finished eating, and when they began going around in circles Hackett said it was best to sleep on what had been discussed. Everyone agreed. They'd talk more in the morning.

  


I was lying carelessly on the sofa when Evfra, the last man to use the bathroom, stopped by me. He stood there, watching in silence, and I thought that was all that he would do until he finally spoke. "What did he do to hurt you?"

It took me completely off guard and I sat straight to take a good look at the angara. The surprise was great, however, and I couldn't stop my lips from stubbornly staying slightly parted. "What?" Was my answer when I finally found my voice. I couldn't believe Evfra of all people was the one reaching out.

"You're hurting since you left the kitchen. What did he do?" His tone was no different than usual, serious and contained, almost bored and bothered, but he stopped to ask why I was sad. It meant he cared, right? And that didn't make sense.

"How...?"

He sighed, and I thought he'd walk away, but he stayed and looked at me so seriously. I knew he didn't like explaining things he believed obvious, I supposed I'd just have to answer.

"He didn't do anything. I... think he'll never forgive me, that's all."

"You're withering because of something you're not even sure of?"

"Almost sure. I... still hope he will." I sighed. "Say, Evfra, do you think you'd ever trust me?"

"If there is one thing the Pathfinder showed me is that not all aliens are bad. You continue to prove you're a good person and I just might."

Well, he got a smile from me. "Thank you."

He shook his head. "We have that sentient being to find, you shouldn't worry about this sort of thing."

"But you all are my priority." He frowned. "I want all of you happy, and I want you all to like me. You don't need to love me, but I don't want to be hated."

"I don't think anyone hates you."

"Fenris probably does."

"He's angry, but not at you."

"How do you know?"

He sighed tiredly, maybe it was a boring question. "I can feel in my bioelectric field. Emotions build energy, I sense them." Oh.

"So you sensed my distress?" He groaned what I thought was an affirmative. "I imagine it bothered you, I'm sorry." And that got a bored groan from him. "Evfra…"

"Hm?"

"Can... can you sense my feelings for you?"

He sighed. "Yes."

"Does it bother you?"

"No." My heart warmed up. Maybe I had a chance with him.

"Can you sense my feelings for the others?"

"Yes." I remembered the talk with Zevran.

"Does it bother you?"

"I don't know." Oh?

"Do you think you can like me one day?"

He growled. And damn if that wasn't hot. "I don't know. I see you're well enough now. Good night."

"Good night, Evfra. Thank you for caring."

He groaned and left, and I went into the bathroom to collect the clothes and towels to wash. I wondered if everything the men had in their wardrobes were pajamas.

The laundry room was complete with everything we could come to need. There were also cleaning supplies for the rest of the house. The washing machine and dryer would be so very handy.

After putting everything in the machine, I programmed it and went to my bedroom. It'd wash while I slept and I'd transfer the clothes to the dryer in the morning.

I was disappointed that I only got half of what I intended done, but it had been an interesting day. A roller-coaster even.

Changed back into pajamas, I put the dress on a part of the huge bed I wouldn't risk sleeping on and got under the covers. It was a great bed, but I missed Thane. I hoped he would sleep well alone, I was uncertain whether I should approach him again.

Thoughts of Zevran with Alucard haunted my mind. I didn't have the right to be jealous, but I was.

A low chuckle told me I wasn't alone anymore. "My my... she wants them all, but doesn't like to share. You just might be a greedy person after all." Alucard joined me in bed and pulled me close, the contact comforted me immediately and I wrapped my arm around him. It felt strangely natural. "I just wonder, who are you most jealous of?"

"Nobody. It's... equal."

"I wonder if any of the others would be jealous of you naked with the assassin by the river."

"You saw that?" Somehow the thought of him watching me and Zevran didn't make me uncomfortable, ashamed or embarrassed. It didn't arouse me either. It made me extremely curious of his opinion.

"No. I was sleeping. But I saw it when I drank from him. And I must say it's quite delectable, his blood."

"He said you touched him…"

"It's only fair to give something back. Wasn't it what you said?" I just knew he was grinning as he said that.

"I thought you didn't like men."

"I like blood, little witch." He started playing with my hair then.

"I... think I'll break before this is even over, Alucard."

"Why?"

"Being surrounded by people I love and not having those feelings reciprocated... it's hard. I definitely bit more than I could chew." I sighed. "It hurts to have a single person ignore my feelings, it's... devastating to have it happen with eight. I know it's early, none of you know me well enough to love me, still..." I sighed again, my chest tightening.

"If you let me turn you the only thing you will ever want is blood."

"Are you saying you're incapable of loving? I doubt that."

"Why?"

"Because you had lovers, you fought for your people too, you cared about Integra and Seras."

"Don't mistake duty for love, little witch."

"You don't fool me." I inhaled deeply into his neck. God, he was so tempting. I hugged him closer and nuzzled him.

"You might be fooling yourself." Might. He wanted to redirect but I noticed he didn't really correct me.

"A fool in love, as they say." And my heart ached. I didn't know why he was so nice to me, why he let me confide in him, why he comforted me, but the fact he did and still didn't love me hurt. Nobody loved me. And now that they had a clue with the book the chances that they would leave were higher. I wanted them to be happy, but they didn't want to be happy with me. I would help them, of course I would, even if it broke me. And I was already breaking. I didn't want to be selfish, but I couldn't stop the tears.

"So many feelings." Alucard said while caressing my back and hair, letting me cry into his shoulder.

  


I awoke alone, with my eyes heavy and swollen. I sighed, knowing there was no hiding I cried until sleep. I had to pull myself together, work with them to find the person responsible for the book, the summoner. I had to make them happy, it didn't matter that it would leave me alone. I had always been alone, I could do it again.

But my eyes and heart weren't the only things hurting. Even with the massage I got from Zevran, simple though it was because of the place we had been at, my back and arms were quite sore. That wouldn't stop me from doing what had to be done, but it definitely would make my day more difficult. I thought about asking Zevran a full massage, but I knew I couldn't be alone with him at that moment; both because of my desire for him and my aching heart. I didn't dare crumble in front of anyone.

I'm aware I crumbled in Alucard's arms the previous night, and there are two very simple reasons for that: the pain was hard to bear, and there was no hiding it from him. I still don't know how he could read my mind, considering he wasn't my sire, maybe it was another thing that happened while he was brought to that place, but he would know I was hurting even clearer than Evfra did. So I accepted his silent offer. But I didn’t know the others to know, I didn’t want to put any sort of pressure on their shoulders.

And I was so grateful for Alucard’s comfort while I cried. I was stronger in the morning thanks to him.

  


Changed into the dress, I made my way downstairs and it seemed I was the first awake, or at least the first outside the bedrooms. I still didn't know the entirety of the house and I had to correct that. But first things first, isn't that what they say?

I refreshed myself in the bathroom, trying to be more presentable. I knew some of the men could still notice, but if my swollen face wasn't so obvious maybe they wouldn’t ask questions.

Next I transferred the clothes to the dryer, then set out to make breakfast. We had eight people to eat; that was a lot of food. I decided to bake a cake and use some of the apples to flavor it.

I was almost done slicing them into cubes when Thane entered the kitchen. "Good morning, Bethany."

With a smile, I turned briefly from my work to greet him. "Good morning, Thane. Did you sleep well?"

He approached me to check what I was doing and then leaned his hip against the counter. "I did. But I should ask you the same. I admit I expected you to join me again. I noticed your distress."

"Ah... you noticed it too?" And I thought I could hide it. "I... didn't want to impose my presence on you again. Especially  _because_ of my distress. I don't think I would have been good company."

"Bethany, I'm very thankful for this life you gave me. If I can comfort you through difficult times I wish you to let me. It is the least I can do."

"Thank you, Thane." I gave him a smile. His words meant so much to me, and they made me feel silly for the breakdown the night before.

"Do you need help?"

"I don't, but I could use some." And I asked him to get the dry ingredients and mix them while I mixed the wet ones. I knew by that point I should avoid such questions, but I couldn't hold back my words. "Thane... do you wish to return too?"

"I don't know." He was calm as he elaborated. "What would I return to? War with the reapers? A world where Shepard failed? Succeeded? How could I explain to Kolyat that I had been resurrected by a woman from another reality? Or would I return to the Shores I have no memory of?"

"Of course I would try to return you to a place and time where you'd be happy."

"I'm sure. But you have power over this place, I'm not certain you could ensure your wish worked outside of it."

"You don't want to take the chance?"

I poured the wet mixture into the bowl with the dry ingredients and slowly began to mix them. Thane seemed to be struggling with words and I gave him time.

"It is... less about not wanting to take the chance and more about wondering if it's worth it."

"Wouldn't it be worth it to see your son again?"

"Kolyat and I were at peace when I died. I... was never a good father and I believe forcing him into accepting a miraculous return would be worse. I would love to see him progress in life, form a family, but I... I would be selfish in doing so. He has accepted my death, he's moving on. I don't want to set him back. I couldn't make him go through losing me a third time, because that would eventually happen."

Right, he wasn't immortal, and who was to say his illness wouldn’t return once he was back on his universe? Still... "I... think I would love to have my parents back. I think Kolyat would too. He had just found you, after all." I said as I poured the batter into the two baking pans, so it would bake faster.

"Oh, you're already cooking." Hackett said as he entered the kitchen, likely unaware he had interrupted Thane's answer.

"Apple cake. I hope everyone likes it."

"Hm. It sounds good, probably tastes good too." He sighed. "I can't remember the last time I had cake, and homemade at that."

"Well, here's hoping I don't disappoint." I said with a shy smile. I was really nervous about cooking for so many different men. "I was surprised to be the first up."

"Last night's talks haunted me to sleep. And not having an alarm made it difficult to wake up in time."

"It's not like you have work or a war to stop, Admiral. You can relax."

"There are unknowns in this place you created, there's that sentient being to find, we don't know its intentions, if it plans on harming us. I can't afford to relax."

I sighed as I put the baking pans into the oven. "I'm sure it's safe... it was my wish that we'd be safe here. Whatever the summoner is it won't harm us."

"You said the previous story in the book showed the man suffered-"

"Because he had no limits, he always wanted more and more. And it was never simple things."

"I'm sure this place isn't a simple thing, neither is your wish for the garden."

"Still, if something happens it'll be to me. I refuse to let any of you come to harm."

"What sort of man do you believe me to be if I let a woman, a civilian, suffer because of me?"

"Hackett, this is all my fault, it's my responsibility."

"I'm not letting any harm come upon you." He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "If you know me as you say you do, you should know I'm serious." I didn't know if he was being protective out of duty, having spent most of his life fighting for those who couldn't defend themselves, or if it was his pride as a man.

I sighed. "Yes, Admiral."

"I already told you to drop the title." He didn't seem angry, but he was serious.

"It's nice to call you Admiral."

"Iorveth was right. You are an oddity." He relaxed a bit and in consequence so did I.

"Oh?"

"Most people hate titles and jump at the first chance of dropping  them ."

"I said I'm not most people." Of course I couldn't let him know I found it sexy.

"That you're not." Thane said. "And I must join Hackett in saying I won't allow you to suffer."

"You two barely know me…"

"We know enough to be sure you'd go to great lengths to have the people you care about happy." Hackett said. "That's admirable and worth protecting."

"I... can't refute that." I sighed and was surprised by the Admiral's chuckle. Even more surprised by his hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly and then leaving. It was almost like a pet.

"Good. Now I'll go take a look at that book of yours. I should have done it already."

I nodded, and when he was gone I turned to Thane, who was watching me. "He just treated me like a child, didn't he?"

"I don't believe so."

"He  _petted_ my shoulder."

"I don't know much of human behavior, but as I see it he doesn't treat you as a child."

"I definitely hope not... that's not how I want him to see me."

"I used to think it wasn't possible, before awaking here, but you really have feelings for more than one of us."

"Does it bother you? I mean... what am I even asking? You don't love me, of course it wouldn't bother you."

"I'm not... bothered. I'm curious." Eh?

"What about?"

And then his eyes lost focus. "She looks at me with dilated pupils, her wet cheeks slightly flushed as her chest moves rapidly. My name on her lips is said with adoration and relief." A blink and he is back. "My apologies, I didn't intend for it to happen."

"That... that was when I awoke you, right?" I couldn't remember another time when I was that way, even if it seemed different from my own memories.

"Yes. The way you looked at me will be forever in my mind." My heart sped up at his words. "Not... not even Irikah had ever looked at me that way."

"Well... she didn't watch you die... otherwise I'm sure-"

"It doesn't matter. I... I see the way you watch the others, especially when you think there's nobody looking. You adore each and every one. You were not lying."

"Thane, where-" I stopped my words when his eyes changed again.

"She comes in wrapped in a soft white towel, her skin flushed as droplets fall from her damp hair, she talks to the man beside me and I'm ensnared by her scent. She turns to leave, bumps into one of the elves, the towel catches and slips down her body. My breath catches just as I hear gasps from the other men. She's embarrassed as she covers her smooth skin. I watch her leave with my heart accelerated." He sighed as soon as his eyes returned to normal. "I... seem to be having difficulty focusing on what I want to say." He moved away from the counter and I knew he would leave, so I  stepp ed in front of him. His surprise was obvious.

"You... you don't have to go." I held his hand lightly. "Take your time to tell me."

"I need to think." He closed his fingers around my hand and my body warmed up. "It's confusing." He sighed. "I'll take a walk outside."

I nodded and released his hand, but he still held onto mine. "Okay. Just know I won't ever pressure you."

"Thank you." He released my hand and I watched him go.

The oven had a timer, so I decided to collect the clothes in the machine and give them to their owners.

  


I wasn't surprised when Zevran received me into his room with a hug and a fiery kiss. Before I realized it I was on his bed. "What- wait, Zevran."

He stopped and after a swift kiss on my lips he pulled away and stood. The clothes were a mess on the floor. Oh well, he did it.

"Why did you do that?" I asked as I sat up.

"Because I missed your body with mine, your tongue in my mouth, my mouth on your neck-"

"Alright, I get it. You're... horny in the morning."

He laughed. "Some would say all the time, mi cara."

"I wish I could appreciate that." I was torn between a sigh of disappointment and a smirk, I ended up shaking my head and walking to the pile of clothes, intent on collecting the ones that belonged to the others and leaving his on the floor. Soon he was helping me.

"My apologies for making you drop them."

"At least the floor is clean." And I realized it then, the floor was always clean. No matter how many times all of us went around and outside and back in, there was no dirt, no dust. Was it another thing that simply 'worked'? That would make life so much better if it was.

Clothes back on my sore arms, I stood and walked to the door. "Breakfast should be ready soon."

"Bethany." His voice sounded worried, worrying me in turn. I turned around and saw his conflicted face. "Have I offended you with my actions with Alucard?"

I wasn't ready for that talk.

Taking a deep breath, I tried my best at not being a horrible person. "I don't know how I feel about it. I... may be a hypocrite, but I think I'm a little jealous." He was going to speak but I rushed my words. "Please let me speak, or I might never be clear about it. You asked, so let me explain." Another deep breath. "I... it- it's not that it bothers me that you got close to him, it's..." I sighed. "It's that you two did it without me. And he touched you before I could. And I know it's my own fault for not accepting to do it, for sticking to my dream, so I don't blame you. I don't blame anyone but myself. So don't worry."

"It wasn't my intention to upset you."

"I know. I... I-" I turned to face the door. "I should go give the others their clothes. I hope you like apple cake."

And as I left I heard him say "I'm eager to find out."

Fenris was surprised to see me with his clothes. Apparently he planned on washing them himself at the river. I told him it wouldn't ever be necessary because we had machines for that. He seemed unsure of how to deal with me taking care of his things, but thanked me and said he'd be downstairs soon.

Thane wasn't in his room, so I tried the doorknob and finding it unlocked, I stepped inside and left his clothes on his bed. His room hasn't changed a thing from the first day, but it was starting to smell like him. I liked it.

Hackett also wasn't there so I did the same, and was surprised to see his room had gone through some changes. The bed was now right under the windows, the wardrobe was where the bed had previously been and the rugs were only around the bed now. I wondered what he needed bare floor for.

I admit I was afraid of facing Iorveth after our talk, so I skipped his door and knocked on Solas'. He was also surprised to see me with his clothes, but while his surprise seemed to stem from him not expecting it, I was sure Fenris was taken aback because I had abducted him. I suspected he believed I would take advantage of him, force him as people had when he was a slave, and instead I was taking care of him.

Solas was thankful after the initial shock passed, and asked me to show him how the machines worked later. I agreed, told him about breakfast, and he told me he was already on his way downstairs. So we parted and I went to Evfra.

The blue man wasn't quite happy I had washed his clothes in his place. "It's intimate", he said.

"We're all living under the same roof, that's intimate too. Would you rather I had left it there?"

He sighed. "I appreciate your action. I just..." he sighed, "it's been a long time since someone cared for my things."

"You know I didn't do it to upset you. It was the practical thing to do. Now, there's cake downstairs, I hope you like it."

"We'll see." I turned to leave but he continued. "Thank you, Bethany."

"You're welcome."

And there was no escaping it. While Evfra passed by me on his way downstairs, I knocked on Iorveth's door. He was sweaty when he answered, surprising me. "Are you okay?" I couldn't even think to stop the words.

"Yes. What are you doing with my clothes?"

"I washed them." I said while offering them to him. "Why are you drenched in sweat?"

"Exercise."

"Oh."

"Come in, there are things I want to talk to you about."

I couldn't be alone with him after that talk, not yet. "I have to take the cakes off the oven. We can talk later. I hope you like apple cake."

His eyebrows raised. "I do. In fact, it's a favorite of mine."

"Oh. Great! I eh... hope I don't disappoint."

"I'll let you know."

"Alright, see you downstairs."

And the farther I got from him the easier it was to breathe.

  


It was nice to hear they liked the cake. But it wasn't nice to see them arguing. Which, considering who they were, should have happened sooner. After all, four of them were leaders and they wanted to lead, it was natural for them.

I imagined it hadn't happened before because they were agreeing on things, and now that it diverged each one wanted to have their plan being the one followed through.

Of course that wasn't leading anyone anywhere.

"Stop." I said, finally interrupting them. "Listen, I know each one of you four have led people, you are bright tacticians, but if you don't get off your high horses and simply work together you won't get anywhere." They seemed shocked to answer, so I took the chance to push through. "First, this isn't war. Second, we don't have drones, radars and scanners, pretty much everything out there is wilderness, and a big part of it is a dense forest. It seems to me the most experienced in this kind of scenario are Solas and Iorveth." I took a deep breath. "I don't know the first thing when it comes to leading people, much less organizing a... scouting operation. But even if you have won a galactic war," I say to Hackett, "and you have defended your people in another," I say to Evfra, "you two are out of your element."

"You're right." Hackett said. "But I won't simply accept decisions I think won't work."

"Of course you won't. And you shouldn't. But... well, it seems you all will have to choose a leader for this."

"It should be easier if we know what we're all good at, yes?" Zevran said and everyone agreed. "My skills are not the best for the task. But you should know anyway: killing, poisoning, seducing and tracking."

"If the Summoner is a woman we know who to use." Hackett said, and sounded a bit... upset?

"Not only woman." Zevran corrected.

"Of course." The Admiral sighed. "My skills seem to be too dependent on technology we don't have access to, unfortunately. But I wasn't top of the military for nothing. I know how to form strategies and guide people to do what must be done."

"Some of my skills also depend on technology we don't have." Thane said. "But I was trained to kill, track, infiltrate, and I also have biotics."

"Biotics?" Solas asked.

Thane surrounded himself in bluish energy which resounded quite strangely in my ears. The surprise in the elves' faces was clear.

"That... isn't magic." Solas said.

"It's biotics," Thane explained, "power from my own cells, I can manipulate mass and energy."

"I'm sure it's more complex than that." Iorveth said.

"It is. But I'm afraid I wouldn't explain properly if I tried." The drell said, but I had my doubts of his incompetence to explain.

"I could show you everything about it if I had my omnitool." Hackett said.

"Maybe soon." I said.

"We should be sure of what we're dealing with before you attempt more wishes." The Admiral said and I nodded.

"I am a mage of considerable skill." Solas said. "But also a leader in a war. As said by Hackett, I can form strategies and guide people to do what must be done."

"And you move your paws quite effectively from the shadows." Fenris said with anger.

"One of the best places to lead from." The mage said calmly, which seemed to anger the tattooed elf even more. "What are your skills, Fenris? Varric was never quite clear."

"You'd be a great target for them."

"Come on, enough." I said. "We're all friends here. Stop antagonizing each other. Now, tell us, Fenris."

"I was embedded with lyrium to empower mages, but I learned to do the exact opposite." He said with a feral smirk. "I can rip a mage's heart out with my own hand."

"Fenris..." I pleaded.

"I can also track." He finished.

"I also have strategic knowledge," said Evfra, "but I'm loathe to say every other skill would be best used with tools we don't have. Although I can track without them."

"I'm a warrior." Iorveth said. "I've led people through swamps, forests and mountains, I can kill before my target knows I'm in the area, and I can find anything anywhere."

"What about the vampire, Alucard?" Solas asked.

"He's likely sleeping still."

And then a shadow on the wall grew and took the shape of a man. Alucard stepped forward, walked until he was right behind me on the chair and placed both hands on my shoulders. "I was, but your worries were loud. I've been watching."

"From inside the wall?" Evfra asked.

"One of many places. You never know where I can be." I was sure he was smiling.

"What are your skills?" Hackett asked.

"Oh funny that you would be the one to ask. I'll say a few, some are irrelevant to the situation. I work better alone, I excell at infiltration," he added in my mind 'of all types', "I can control people's minds and shapeshift." He began massaging my shoulder. "Can I suggest your... jobs on this?"

"Go ahead." Hackett said and nobody complained.

"You, Admiral, without your tools are quite useless outside, unlike the others. Oh I'm not saying this to upset you, you know it's true. And while some of you could lead, you have other skills that could be used outside. So..." one of his hands went up to caress my neck, "I suggest the Admiral leads from here while the others, which obviously includes myself, act on the field. Each in their own specialty."

"I..." my voice shook with pleasure from his caress, "I think that's a good idea. Iorveth and Solas could lead outside while Hackett coordinates from here."

"Hm. Sounds reasonable to me." Evfra said.

"I've followed orders before, that isn't an issue to me." Iorveth said. "But if I'm going to follow your orders you better know what you're doing. I won't do something I don't agree with."

"I'm of the same mind." Solas said.

"Admiral?" I asked after the others have all agreed and the man was still quiet.

"It sounds good. I trust you three to be my eyes and ears out there."

"Great, we're all back on track." I said. "What will we do now?"

"Iorveth," Hackett said, "do you think you can draw a map?"

"I'm no artist, but I can make one."

"I can draw." Solas said. "Perhaps if we work together we can make one."

Iorveth agreed and I went to the library to get paper and pencil. But on my way back something caught my eye. A flute lay on a cushion by a bookshelf. It would be odd to give it to Iorveth in front of the others, so I decided to do it later. Hopefully it would make him like me a little bit more.

  


Hiding a fourty-centimeter flute on the back of my dress wasn't easy, but somehow I managed it through sitting straighter than usual and avoiding showing my back to them. Alucard, of course, knew what I was doing, and would taunt me with his hand on my back constantly.

It was decided that Thane would work with Evfra, Zevran with Solas and Fenris with Iorveth, Alucard would do whatever was needed that the others couldn't do, which included investigating during the night.

When the meeting was finally over Hackett went off to the kitchen to start lunch joined by Thane and Evfra. I was going to help them, but Iorveth stopped me. "Can we talk now?"

"Ah, sure."

"In private."

"Ah. Okay. Let's uh... go to my room then."

I couldn't walk in front of him or he would see the flute, so I had to stagger behind quite a few times and he noticed something was up.

Thankfully he didn't say anything.

  


I sat on the bed and motioned for him to do the same. He did, and not once stopped watching me. "I have to admit I'm afraid of what you might want to talk about."

"What do you know about me?"

That caught me off guard. I definitely didn't expect him to ask me about it, not after all this time.

"I read your book." He added. "If everything in there is true I can't understand how a person like you would love someone like me."

"I... don't know much. The story with you is about Geralt, and you're helping Letho."

"A mistake that almost cost the life of a friend."

"About that... er... you know, some people think you and Ciaran were lovers. Were you?"

He was smirking. I found myself afraid of his answer. "What do you think?"

"Ah... I think you loved Saskia."

"Interesting. Theories about my love life, it serves to show what kind of worries your people have. And if I loved Saskia, wouldn't it mean you separated me from my happiness to achieve yours?"

"Er... I- I hope not. That would be awful." Just the thought of breaking his heart pained me deeply.

He stopped smiling and straightened his back on the bed. "I didn't. Either of them. I am old, I had people to protect, to kill, I couldn't let myself be distracted by feelings. And there are other forms of loving, of cherishing someone. Dh'oine don't see that because they only think about sex. I admired Saskia, her goal was a beautiful one. If only we had been successful."

"In the story, I could have Geralt help you or Roche-"

"Pff! Roche. I should've killed him when I had the chance. Now I'm here and can't get my hands on him."

"I never chose his side. Everything they do is wrong... they think raping is fine..." I sighed. "Anyway, Geralt helped you help Saskia, and through it all I got to see more of you. Not as much as I'd like, but still enough to be enchanted by you."

"Funny, isn't it? That the elven savages have higher morals than the humans. They treat every non-human as monsters, when they are the monsters themselves."

"I read about the history of your people, part of it. The humans arrived and wanted to conquer it all, subject your people and others to their will. They took what they could, destroyed what got in the way, abused everyone. I... there's no way I wouldn't side with you. You, who were betrayed and still wanted peace." I sighed. "I would probably wish to kill every human there…"

"That never got us any better results, on the contrary."

"I know..." I sighed. "But it's true... when I say I want to see you happy, that I love you. Even if you never come to trust me."

"About what I said last night, it was not my intention to hurt you."

"I know, you're not wrong. I brought you against your will, you have the right not to trust me, to hate me even."

"I don't hate you. You weren't aware."

"But I'm making you unhappy here."

"No." No? "I'm worried about my people, without my guidance I don't know how they would fare. But I'm not unhappy."

A weight was lifted from my heart. "Oh. I'm glad."

"I'm in this place because of your feelings for me, that is clear, but I don't understand how you can love me." He frowned.

"Were you never loved?"

"A long time ago."

"So why does it surprise you I do?"

"Because you don't really know me. And I'm no longer that man."

"What I know is enough to love you, I can get to know you better now that you're here." That didn't seem to be enough answer, he was still frowning.

He sighed. "And the others?"

"I love them too. I... can't help it. It's... bigger than me. Does it bother you?"

"I've known people who loved two, but you love eight."

"Actually, ten. But the others aren't here."

"The ones you sent away." I nodded. "Do you regret it?"

"I wish they were here, I won't lie to you, but I don't regret it. I didn't want to lock you all here with me without your consent, I would have sent you all back if I knew it was the case. I... know it must be terrible."

"I've been captured several times, tortured, starved. This isn't terrible."

"I'm sorry you've been through such horrors."

"That's one of the reasons I'm here, isn't it? So I wouldn't have to suffer again." I nodded sheepishly. "I thank you."

"What?"

"I thank you for your care, for the love and worry you have for me. It has been too long since someone cared. My people would follow me to death, but only a few know the man and not the ideal. Strangers would have me killed without a second thought. I can see you aren't enchanted by the ideal I represent, but me. And I can only thank you."

"I-"

"When we find the Summoner, I will return if possible." Ah. "But I don't want you to think I hate you."

"Thank you for being open with me."

"You deserve that at least."

"Well..." I reached for the flute on my back and offered to him, his surprise was obvious. "I found it in the library, I... hope it makes your stay more enjoyable."

"You know I play…"

I gave him a smile and a nod. "If you ever want to let me listen to you play I'd be very happy."

"Thank you, Bethany." He looked the flute in his beautiful hands and smiled. It was odd to see he really didn't have sharp canines, but it was a beautiful smile nonetheless. Not even his scar could ruin the display of his happiness at that moment. "I can play one now, if you want."

"I'd love it if you did."

He started playing a very beautiful and soothing melody. I could definitely listen to him play for hours. And I wished one day he would.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you unfamiliar with Mass Effect, that thing Thane did is called Solipsism, it's a sort of trance drells can go through willingly or not.
> 
> Last chapter I ended up forgetting to ask when I posted it, so when I edited to ask my question I think some of you had already read the chapter and didn't see my question. So I'll ask again in case this is a first: Who is your favourite man? Who was the one who got you to check the fic? Which one got you to stay? Who do you think will love her first?  
> You're free to ignore the question, of course, but I'm curious.  
> And thank you to the ones who have answered last chapter <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for those of you who have given me your opinion in the last chapter. And thanks to those comments I bring you another chapter. Yes, I had two this week. This one was written so compulsively after the previous was done that I think I can say I sneezed the words into my phone lol  
> I wasn't sure if I should hold it because I was stuck with the thing that happens after the end of this chapter(and it could take me a very long time to figure it out and that would leave you in the dark), but now that I know what I will do I can continue, and since the comments told me you prefer I post whenever I want without pressure I decided to post it already.  
> I hope you like it, I really enjoyed writing it xD

The music had reached some more sensitive ears around the house, and the  men were somewhat surprised to find out about the flute; an object of personal significance to one of them, simply lying about in the house. Everyone who had ventured into the library hadn't seen the instrument.

I eventually discovered that wasn't the only object I would find in the house, even though I still don't know what caused them to appear.

T he rest of the day  was spent exploring the house, finding it's rooms, furniture, doors, windows. There were no more rooms to be found, and nothing that would explain the perfect temperature inside the house, or the electricity, water and fire. They existed, they worked, but I had no idea how. I decided to check the book again for answers, but I found none. And it was curious to read about my improved relationship with the men. The book seemed to be just like a journal in a game, but without the mission tracking. Not that I had the need for one, I knew what I had to do.

There were still some hours of sunlight and my body didn't hurt as much, so I worked on the garden until it was time for dinner  and would plant the seeds in the morning.

But o nce again someone beat me to the task . As I entered the kitchen I found Solas cooking. I had no idea he could.

Not needing to make dinner I went for a shower, grabbing clean clothes first; I didn't want to risk another incident. My choice was another dress, this time checkered in black and white.

One thing I noticed was that Alucard had disappeared since the meeting, Zevran was quite talkative with Thane and Iorveth had been talking to the Admiral since we came down from my room. Evfra was alone watching outside by a window, just like he used to do in his office on Aya.

"A penny for your thoughts." I said as I approached the angara.

He sighed. "Humans and your idioms."

"They're fun."

"Sometimes. What do you want?"

"To talk to you."

"About?"

"What you're looking at for example."

"I'm not really looking at anything." He said as he continued to watch the colors of dusk painted on the sky. The green fields already turning dark. "I'm thinking."

"And that's why I said 'a penny for your thoughts', what are you thinking about?"

"Only useless thoughts could be worth so little." He said just as grumpy as ever.

I smiled. He was adorable. "Of course.  H ow much should I pay for yours? But I don't have money. Maybe I could cook you something."

"No need. We'll leave tomorrow to scout around the area and map them more thoroughly."

"Tomorrow?" I didn't know it would be so soon.

"Yes. We need to know what is out there."

"You'll leave in the morning?"

"Yes."

"I'll make something for you to eat out there."

"There's no need. We have the rations we prepared yesterday."

"Oh... right." The cookies. "I wanted to join."

"After we know it's safe."

"Evfra."

"Hm?"

"Be careful."

He groaned an affirmative. I was preparing to leave when he spoke. "You're not withering anymore."

"Ah. Yes... he... he said he isn't unhappy here so... I feel better."

"Good." And my body heated just as it always does when he says that word. Had he forgotten what I said about it? Had he done it on purpose? Did he notice the effect it had on me? Questions I wanted to ask but couldn't find the courage to.

  


Dinner involved more talk about the mission in the morning, and when we were done I washed the dishes with Zevran's help. He flirted and I evaded, and it was bothering him. Still, I couldn't accept his advances only to pull away at the last minute, it would hurt us both. It was already hurting me. I didn't know if he was hurting or frustrated, I hoped it wasn't the f ormer .

But he couldn't be hurting if he didn't feel anything, right?

Remembering the conversation with Thane in the morning I decided to ask him if he wanted company to sleep. "I thought you were feeling better" was his answer.

"I am, but it was nice to sleep with you."

"Ah." A pause. "I... would not mind your company."

I smiled. "Thank you. Will you sleep now?"

"I imagine I should. It will be an early day tomorrow."

"Then let's go." I said before turning to the others. "Good night, everyone."

They seemed confused in seeing me go with Thane, but maybe it was just my imagination.

  


Alucard appeared from the floor right in front of Thane's room, startling the drell and smirking because of the reaction he got. "Can't you move like a normal person?" Thane asked.

"I could, but where's the fun in that?" His arm suddenly longer than usual reached past Thane to caress my shoulder right under the strap of the dress. "You're forgetting your pajamas."

"Oh, you're right. Thane, I'll be right back."

"I'll wait inside."

I haven't realized it, and how could I? When he wants to it's impossible to see him; Alucard followed me into my bedroom.

His arms wrapped around me the moment I was completely naked, getting a yelp from me. All that caused him was a low chuckle into my ear, arousing me. "I see you'll sleep with him tonight. Why not me?"

"I... I don't know. I didn't think about it. Do you want to?"

His hands began wandering the sides of my body, tempting me with his long and slender fingers. "Would you stay if I said yes?"

"I can't let him down, he's waiting for me."

"But he only wants to sleep. We could do more."

One hand went to a breast, but didn't squeeze it, the other went to my butt and he squeezed a cheek. I moaned low. "But you don't love me."

"I could love your body."

"You just want more blood." His thumb teased the nipple, getting another moan from me.

He chuckled and nibbled my ear. "You're not all wrong."

"What else do you want?"

"Your moans." He licked my neck and got another sound of pleasure from me.

"Why?"

"Because it's beautiful."

"Didn't you say you only cared about blood?" He sucked my neck, and I almost melted into his arms. His hand on my butt slid to my navel.

"You shouldn't believe a vampire."

"So I shouldn't believe you now either?"

He sucked into my neck again. "Who knows?"

"Thane's waiting, Alucard."

"So?"

"Let me go."

He turned me and pulled me close, I could feel him hard against me through his thin pajamas. His eyes were blood red and intense, it was hard to breathe. "Are you sure?"

"I... ah..." I took a deep breath. Alucard is just toying with me, was what I told myself. "Thank you for last night. I... I have to go."

He was surprised, and it was such a rare look on him. Then he smiled and slowly let go of me. "Good night, little witch." And he melted into a black puddle only to disappear into the floor.

I sighed, completely aroused and a bit annoyed. Why did he do that? What would he gain in coming between me and Thane? He said he didn't like to share but it's not like he loves me and we're together. Even if we were, he'd have to get used to it, I love the others too. And damn him, he had his fun with Zevran. Why this now?

Inside my pajamas I went to Thane's room, I knocked and as soon as I said it was me he told me to enter. He was in his bed, watching me. Of course that gave me ideas. Especially after Alucard's teasing. I prayed Thane couldn't smell me. It would have been too much to shower again just because of a little -maybe not so little- arousal.

When I slid under the covers he froze. "What's wrong?"

"Ah... it's- it's nothing."

"You can smell me, can't you?" I said almost as a whisper, followed by a sigh, as I watched the ceiling.

He hesitated a minute. "Yes."

I took a deep breath. "Alucard followed me, teased me. That was all."

"Why are you explaining yourself?"

"Because I'm in your bed smelling of arousal and another man? Sounds  like  a good reason to me."

"Bethany." I turned my head to look at him, finding him quite focused. "Why did you reject him?"

"He was just playing with me. He doesn't love me. I... I don't want my first time to be with someone who doesn't love me. Actually, I don't want to ever have sex just for fun. I... I think there's too much more involvement in the act than simply flesh with flesh, there's energy, there's feelings. I know I would hurt myself if I ignored that for the sake of pleasure."

"You speak like a believer, like a devout to Arashu."

"Goddess of Protection? I remember you'd pray to her for protection." It didn't make sense to me how that'd be related.

"She's also the Goddess of Love and Motherhood."

"Oh."

"Her faithful believe in true love, in a love that transcends the body. Casual pleasure disconnects the soul from the body, diminishes the chances for true and pure love."

"Do you believe in that?"

"I was disconnected for a time, but I do."

"Irikah helped you find yourself, right?"

"Correct. Even though I failed again…"

"But hey, you redeemed yourself."

"As long as I live I shall try to be better."

"We all should." I gave him a smile. "Now let us sleep, I don't want to keep you up."

"Do you want my hand again?"

"Always."

Even with the lights out -which did turn off on their own as if based on our will- his big eyes didn't scare me. The more time I spent with Thane the more I was sure I loved him.

  


I woke up with his movements. He was leaving the bed and I saw it was too early, the sun was just starting to rise. "So soon?"

"Go back to sleep, Bethany." He said just before taking my hand in his and kissing it. Such a simple gesture made me so damn happy. "I'll see you later."

"Be careful out there."

"Always."

The butterflies in my stomach kept me awake for a time, but sleep eventually won.

  


When I went downstairs Hackett was sitting at the dinner table surrounded by paper and the map they had made. "Good morning, Admiral." I said with a smile.

He looked at me with a smile of his own, albeit smaller. "Good morning, Bethany. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. I hope you slept better than yesterday?"

"Only a little. I'm afraid I won't sleep so well until I know what is going on."

"Want some coffee?"

"I do, thank you."

In the kitchen I saw there were still some cake, so I took two slices with me along with two mugs of coffee on a tray. "Have you eaten or have you been there looking at those notes since you woke up?"

"The latter." He didn't look at me even as I placed the cup in front of him. "Thank you."

"As I thought. Here, eat one at least. It's not like you can do much until they return with news. I'm sure you already know everything in there."

"There could still be some detail I'm missing." He leaned back on the chair and sighed, took a sip from the mug and looked at me. "But you're right. So I'll take a break for now. What will you do today?"

"Plant some seeds." I said as I broke a piece of cake with my fingers; I didn't want to bother with cutlery. "Wanna join me?"

"I never worked a garden before, but I just might. You just tell me what to do."

"Oh? I get to order an Admiral around? I like this even more now." I smirked.

"I don't even remember the last time I followed someone's orders."

"Thinking about being stubborn with me?"

"Perhaps. I've heard there's some fun in playing difficult." Eh?

"Are we still talking about gardening?"

"Bethany, are you and Krios together?" Eh? Where did that come from?

"No. We only slep t together in the same bed for comfort, nothing else. Why?"

"Just wanted it to be clear."

"Hackett, you know I love all of you, without distinction, right?"

"So you say."

"You doubt me? Even after reading the book?"

"I don't doubt you believe you love us. The book is also very convincing. But I don't think a person can love eight equally."

"Ten."

"Right, there' re also two others who are supposed to be manga characters."

"You saw them, Hackett. They were real. And how can you doubt anything after all this?"

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm being unfair."

"Yes, you are."

"And you're angry."

"Annoyed."

"Do you still want my help with the garden?"

"You don't deserve it." And those words surprised him. "But I'll let you come."

"Thank you."

"Now eat or you'll be weak outside."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"God... you're horrible."

"I thought you loved me."

"I didn't know this side of you."

"Oh? Does it mean you're second-guessing your feelings? That's why most people wait to really know someone before claiming they love them."

"You're not getting rid of me, Admiral. I love everything about you."

That surprised him, but he smiled, surprising me. Did he like my love for him? Unfortunately I was afraid to ask.

  


There weren't many seeds so we didn't take long to plant them all. Some garlic and onions also made it into the soil, and I wondered how long it would take for everything to grow. Just how fast was faster?

"I know you spent some time with Zevran in that river." Hackett said as he watched the glistening water. Had Zevran told people about what we did? Was I right in thinking he would have boasted about bedding me?

"Yes. I could use a swim after working the soil for hours and he joined me."

"Naked."

"It's not like I had swimming clothes. Was it he who told you?"

"No. I saw you two, on the grass."

He sounded strange, but I couldn't identify the tone. I thought it would be safe to tease. "Do you want to even the score with him?"

He coughed. "I'm sorry?"

"Never mind, Admiral." I stretched my back and arms with a sigh, thinking that I probably had imagined progress with the man. "I'm gonna make lunch. It's just us, what do you want to eat?"

"I'd be fine with sandwich, you don't have to cook."

"Sandwiches, I could have some, yes." And I took three steps before he held my wrist. "What's wrong?"

"Spider."

I jumped towards him by reflex, but when I looked at the ground there was no spider. "Where?"

"It's gone."

"You didn't say it to scare me, did you?"

"No. There  _was_ one on the grass."

"Well, another reason to get inside."

Why would a place created based on my wishes have spiders? I was terrified of them.

  


The rest of the day was strange. Hackett was too focused on his thoughts to talk to me, I supposed Alucard was still sleeping, so that left me alone. With nothing else to do I decided to check the books in the library.

Each of the five wall sized bookshelves were full of books, some were stories I knew and enjoyed, like The Lord of the Rings, others were tutoring books about Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, Geography, several about the different branches of Medicine, and some recipe books. It didn't escape my notice the fact there were no books about language, culture or history of any kind. Even the Geography books were about physical aspects, not political or social; they didn't even mention Earth, the maps shown as examples had no name.

Arms I was beginning to get so used to were suddenly wrapped around me, which probably meant I lost myself among books for longer than I thought and it was night.

I let myself relax against his body, leaning my head back on his shoulder. "You know... I love how touchy you are with me."

Alucard chuckled, and I felt the vibrations inside me. "You are good to touch. Did you find anything interesting?"

"Many things. There are enough material here to teach through college, I think."

"What would you need that for? In a place like this?"

He had a point. "Well, at the very least I would have something to do."

"And you would become the most knowledgeable person among us, and do what?"

"I don't know. But it's better to have the knowledge and not know what to do with it than wanting to do something and not know how, isn't it?"

"That... is true." His hands moved from my middle to my arms and he turned me to face him. "I know something is weighting on you. Do you want to talk about it?"

"But if you already know, what's the point?"

"To lift that weight. The fact that you know I know doesn't make it any less heavy, does it?"

"Not really... but... won't I annoy you with it?"

“No. It's good to have someone to speak to."

I hugged him tight then. "You're just as lonely, aren't you?" I sighed. "We're surrounded by people but..." a deep breath, "but still lonely."

"I thought you were enjoying your time with the other men." He said as his hands slid to my back.

"I do. But... I don't think they enjoy their time with me. I... I talked to some of them, they're not angry, but they don't want to stay either. They are nice to me,  each  in their own way, but they want to leave. You probably want to leave too, don't you?"

"I'm not worried about leaving, if that makes you feel  any  better."

I pushed back enough to see his face. "You don't want to leave?"

"No." That was shocking.

"Why not?"

He smirked. "I have such a delectable little witch here, why would I leave?"  One of his hand s slid up to my neck and his thumb began playing with my jaw.

"Be serious, Alucard."

"Oh but I am. It's a great reason to stay."

"You really like my company? You told me not to believe you... your actions are confusing."

"When I said I only wanted blood you said you didn't believe me, so what do you believe?"

"I... think you want company too, that you're tired of being alone through ages."

"You are not wrong."

"Ah. So in staying here with me you won't be alone. You know I don't fear you, that I love you, that I want you close."

"Precisely." My chest tightened and  I barely could breathe . He wanted me.

I wish I could say that moment was embarrassing, but even looking back at it I can't feel it. It was so good to hear from him that he wanted my company, that he accepted my love. Even if he didn't reciprocate it was more than I expected. So what happened? I threw myself back in his arms, held tight and cried for a whole different reason than last time.

At some point I felt his hand on my hair, and he pulled me gently so he could kiss me. I thought I had lost my heart at that moment. It was odd to stop crying through a kiss, but it felt amazing. It was a comfort I wasn't used to, and as I lost myself in his mouth I didn't realize we had moved to the couch. Feeling the leather against my back while he held me brought me back to reality.

"How did we get here?" My voice was rough and low, but I didn't mind.

"Walking." The couch was five steps from where I was and I didn't remember taking even one. I watched his red eyes above and realized I didn't care. I caressed his cheek, and I couldn't understand why it would but it surprised him, I touched his lower lip with my thumb and raised my head to kiss him again.

I relaxed into the couch while he shifted over me, with my eyes closed I felt his hands wandering my body, under and over the dress. One of his legs were between mine, and as our tongues rubbed each other a hand found my breast. I knew where it would go, and as much as I'd prefer a bed for that, I wanted it. He wanted to stay with me, that was enough. He might not love me yet, but he liked me enough to ab andon everything else to stay with me.

"Bethany- oh!" Hackett choked by the door while I... what was I even feeling? Not shame, not guilt, but I didn't feel good for having been caught in that moment. "I'm sorry, I-" he coughed, "I didn't know he was here."

Alucard raised from me, and while I expected to see a smirk he was definitely annoyed. I sat up and tried to fix the dress that thankfully wasn't removed. "I'm sorry, Hackett, this," I cleared my throat, "this isn't a place for that."

"Debatable." Alucard said inside my mind, then as he stood he said aloud "I'll be in the main room."

"Alucard?"

"Don't worry, little witch, I'm fine." After giving me a smile, for the first time since arriving here, he  _walked_ out of a room. Suddenly taller, he stared down at the Admiral. "You better treat her well."

"How else would I treat her?" Alucard ignored him and after the vampire was gone Hackett turned to me. His face was odd, it didn't really seem like annoyance but he wasn't happy. "I'm sorry I interrupted your moment." And he sounded bitter. "But I thought you would like to be there for the reports."

"Oh, are the others back?" He nodded. "Yes, yes I do." I stood and made sure the dress was right. "Are they alright?" I asked while approaching the man.

"They are. Not even a scratch, don't worry."

"Awesome." I walked past him, finding it odd that he wasn't moving, then his hand caught my wrist again. It was becoming a habit.  A very odd habit . "Admiral?" I turned and he was so serious that I wondered if something grave had happened.

"Are you sure it's wise?" He seemed to be struggling with the words and he still haven't let me go.

"What is?"

"You with Alucard. He's a monster after your blood."

It angered me. I knew Hackett had his prejudices against Alucard, that he didn't see the vampire as a person, but he was being unfair. "The  _monster_ , Hackett, is the only one willing to stay, to accept me and my love for him."

"He'd say anything if it would get him what he wants!"

"Oh and you know what he wants, do you? Let me guess, my blood? Of course he wants my blood! He needs it! But your image of him wouldn't let you believe he would like me, would it? Let me tell you something, Hackett, he doesn't need to tell me anything in order to get my blood. I give it willingly. So don't think I'm being fooled."

"He's a monster, you might love him but he will never love you back. He's using you. If not for blood it's for something else."

I took a deep breath. "Enough. Before you make me say something I might regret."

"Bethany-"

"No, Hackett! Let go of me. We have a meeting to attend." He let go and as I turned into the main room there were curious faces watching me.

Zevran and Thane looked particularly worried; Evfra, Fenris and Iorveth were highly attentive; Solas was talking to Alucard.

"Is everything alright, mi cara?" Zevran asked, his eyes moving between me and something behind me I imagined was Hackett.

"Yes. Someone was being overprotective is all." I said as I walked towards the kitchen. "I'll make something to eat while you discuss." It was easy to communicate from the kitchen so it should be fine. "I'm glad to see you're all well."

  


While I cooked they explained where they'd gone, what they'd seen, asked questions and often I had my own.

The place was huge, they had split and regrouped at the house so they could cover more ground. They spotted animals, no monsters, no people. The river continued up and deep into the forest, the cliffs marked the beginning of a large chasm that spanned kilometers. Down at the bottom there were things that seemed to indicate ruins and they planned to investigate that next.

Solas couldn't find the Summoner, but the overall direction was towards the forest.

They also found a group of trees that could just as well had been planted by someone at some point and they brought the fruits with them: mangoes. They would make an awesome dessert along with some of the other fruits. And of course I would plant the seeds.

  


It was uncomfortable, to say the least, when I joined them for dinner. Everyone knew something was up, the tension was high, but it seemed nobody was willing to approach the subject. Alucard was at the table, but surprised no one that he wasn't eating. He was casually sitting  at my right while Zevran was  at my left, as it was usual for the elf.

"Enough of this." Fenris, out of everyone, spoke and surprised me. "What's the matter?"

"It's nothing." I said, simply but rougher than I intended.

"This atmosphere is unbearable, out with it." Evfra insisted, surprising me further. "Say whatever you have to say and deal with it. We can't afford misunderstanding and distrust."

I sighed. Evfra wasn't wrong, but I didn't know how to talk about it. It seemed Hackett either suffered the same problem or was unwilling to open himself.

"He's jealous and doesn't know how to deal with it." Alucard said ever so calmly.

"I'm not jealous, I'm worried." Hackett said, bitterly. That was a strange day for the Admiral.

"And what do you have to worry about that would cause this? She has the right to be with whoever she wishes." Fenris said. "We're all stuck in this place so she can fulfill her dirty fantasies."

"That! That's not why you're here!" That was such an embarrassing way of putting it.  The way my cheeks burned I was sure I was beet red.

"Whatever you say, that is how I see it."

"What happened, Bethany?" Zevran said, placing a hand o n mine.

"I don't know why he's so annoyed." I said almost as a whisper, sad and defeated as I was. I didn't want to argue with anybody, but I couldn't understand that damn Admiral. He was so nice then he'd be indifferent then he'd be protective... I didn't understand. "He doesn't even like me."

"Hackett?" Zevran asked. "Care to explain?"

"I don't see how this is any of your business. I'll talk to her later."

"See that you do." Evfra said. "I can't stand this bickering for another day.

  


Zevran and Thane helped me with the dishes while the others took turns in the bathroom. It was an odd silence that I hoped would end soon.

Thankfully it did, but I preferred another topic.

"What happened in the library?" Zevran asked and I noticed his careful tone.

I sighed. "He caught Alucard and I on the couch. Then he started saying horrible things about him... I... I don't understand."

"I told you he doesn't see you as a child." Thane said.

"Then as what? He's definitely not interested or he would have said something. Almost everyone has been clear with me by now, whether to tease me," I pointed at Zevran, "or to reject me like Iorveth did."

"I don't just tease you, you know. You just keep running away."

"I-" I sighed. "You know why I do…"

"Still, it's your fault we're not having fun."

"Because it's not fun she's after, Zevran." Thane said. "She wants to be cherished, loved, cared for. She wants someone who will stay at her side not only for her body and pleasure, but for who she is." That surprised me. He was so thoughtful.

"I care about her, I just happen to want her body a great deal." He shrugged. "I can't help my own desires."

"Do you care enough to stay with me?" The words left me before I could stop them.

Zevran frowned. "Of course." His eyes went wide then. "You thought I wanted to have my fun and leave you?" He left the towel on the counter and touched my arm. "Bethany, I don't want to leave."

My throat tightened as my heart seemed to want to escape. "You don't...?"

"No. I told you I enjoyed being here, more than once if I rightly recall."

"I... I thought you wanted to leave too, you seemed just as eager as everyone to find out things."

"Because I am. I want to learn what's out there, who's responsible for our new home," our new home... that sounded so nice, "but not because I want to leave. It's the sensible thing to do, we need to know where we stand, if things will always be peaceful."

I couldn't contain myself, I hugged him, wet hands and all. He wanted to stay. He didn't love me but he wouldn't leave me.

"Bethany, mi cara, you're getting me wet." Both from tears and my hands no doubt.

I pulled away. "I'm sorry. I just... I'm so happy right now... you and Alucard will stay with me." I turned to Thane then, finding him watching us but somewhat uncomfortable. Well, I couldn't blame him if he felt like the third wheel. "I'm sorry for the display, Thane." I said as I tried to dry my tears with wet hands.

The drell surprised me by bringing his hand to help me. "There's nothing to apologize for, Bethany. Your feelings are beautiful."

"Ah... thanks." God, I felt the luckiest woman in the world, surrounded by these great loving men.

"I know my reputation," Zevran said as he picked the towel again to dry the dishes, "but I thought you had taken me seriously when I said I liked it here. That  I was thankful for you  bringing me  to this place ."

"Well, Thane is also thankful and he might leave." Zevran seemed surprised.

"Do you want to leave?" The elf asked.

"I'm not yet sure." Thane answered.

"Hum. Good thing I didn't bet on it, I could have sworn you'd stay."

"I... have some considerations."

"Well, my friend, you'd be losing a great woman; I don't recommend leaving. It's not always someone loves you enough to resurrect you, you know."

"I'm aware."

"So... the Admiral is jealous, huh?"

"I doubt it. He just doesn't like Alucard." I said.

"He cares about you, Bethany. I've seen the way he treats you."

"And not as a child." Thane added.

"How does he treat me then?"

"He watches you when he thinks nobody is looking, just as you do us." Zevran smirked. "I'm always looking. He made that lemonade especially for you."

"He wonders about you being in this place; we can fight if something happens, you can't." Thane added. "Before you insist, he doesn't look at you as one does when watching a child, especially after the incident here in the kitchen. And he wasn't very happy when you joined me last night."

"Oh. He did ask me in the morning if we were together." I turned to Zevran then, "And he saw us by the river."

"Oh. I wonder if he wanted to join us."  The elf said in that sassy way of his.

"I really doubt it."

"That would explain his mood when he returned." Thane said. "He was... unfocused."

"Bethany." Hackett called from the door and I froze. How would th e talk go? Would he insist on offending Alucard? "Can we talk?"

I sighed. "Of course, Hackett. Would you guys mind-"

"Go on, we'll finish here." Zevran said.

"Thanks." And I followed the Admiral, who seemed to be leading me to his room. When we entered I barely could breathe due to anticipation.

"Please, sit."

I sat on the edge of the bed and so did he, keeping a bit of distance between us, but I noticed it wasn't much.

"I see you changed the furniture’ s placement." I tried to say it casually, to break the uncomfortable silence, but my voice shook a little.

"I needed more room to exercise."

"Oh."

"I want to apologize." He was serious as he watched me. I wanted to look anywhere but at him, but I needed to see his face as he explained himself. "I don't have the right to meddle. You trust him and I have to respect that."

"Why don't you like him?"

"He... as much as he is not supposed to be real, he is supposed to be evil. Stories about vampires always show them as bloodthirsty monsters, cruel, wicked and selfish. I know you love him, and I fear it has blinded you to his nature."

"Can't you just see him as another alien species?" He seemed taken aback by my question. "Humans have thought turians monsters and vice-versa, some still do, I gather. What if the stories about vampires were nothing more than the scared rant of a racist people who couldn't understand a different species? What if you went to a planet and discovered vampires were no more than another people?"

"I…"

"Even if it's a curse, if it's God's punishment, and I know you were raised a faithful man, he isn't doing anyone any harm. The blood he got from me and Zevran was given willingly. He doesn't even need to kill. And he doesn't even need much blood."

He sighed. "You're right. I should apologize to him later."

"Yes, you should, Admiral." He smiled, and it surprised me. He was so beautiful when smiling. "What?"

"You're not angry anymore, I'm relieved." How did he know? As if knowing my inner question he continued. "You call me Hackett when you're angry, Admiral when you're not."

"Oh... I haven't realized."

"I... I was going to wait until I had my thoughts in order, but it seems the longer I wait the worse it becomes. I wish it was as easy for me as it is for the angara." He took a deep breath. "You confuse me."

"Me?"

"Yes,  _you_ . How could you fall in love with ten fictional men and lock yourself in a paral l el world with them? How am I to accept I was nothing more than a video game character to you? That everything I lived was someone's fantasy? You don't know me apart from whatever it is you saw on your screen while you played a game, yet I believe you when you say you love me. I see it in the way you look at me." He closed his eyes and rested his head on his hand. "God, nobody has ever looked at me with such adoration. You're happy just being near me, and I find myself wondering how happy you'd be in my arms." I couldn't breathe. Thane was right. "I see you with the others, freely letting yourself be loved and... and I held myself back. I couldn't admit it to myself, it would be absurd if I did. It would make all of this real, I would have to accept it all. How could I? You wish us to love you and share you among ourselves, that's not how it is supposed to be. Yet... I'm losing you by thinking that way and it's killing me."

I held his hand. "You're not losing me. I'm here with you, and I'll always be yours, you just have to accept me."

"But not only m ine ." He looked at me then. He was on the verge of tears. How bottled up was all his feelings?

"Not only you rs, but yours too . I can't stop my love for the others, but don't doubt my love for you, Admiral."

"I don't. Against all reason I believe you.” He touched my cheek and I gasped. "It's been only three days and I need you more than I have ever needed anyone."

I couldn't speak, but I didn't need to. He closed the distance and I met him halfway for a kiss. I was barely conscious as our lips touched and parted for hungry tongues. He sighed into the kiss, relief I thought, as his hand on my cheek slid into my hair and held my head so he could kiss me better. My arms were around his shoulders when I felt his hand on my lower back pull me closer. Soon I was straddling him and feeling him hard against my panties.

"Will you leave when we find a way, Admiral?" I needed to know before that continued anywhere. I wasn't sure I'd still give myself to him if he wanted to leave.

"No. They can rebuild without me, I couldn't go back only to miss you." Oh my heart.

I kissed him with such hunger I'm sure we'd bruise. I sucked and raked my teeth on his lip as I tempted us by moving my hips on his. His tongue danced with mine whenever it could. His pajamas were thin and my panties were soaked enough that I was sure I got his pants wet.

"Alright, enough." Alucard said and I felt like killing him.

"Seriously?" I said, angrily as I uncomfortably left Hackett's lap. He was unwilling to let me go, but did. I fixed my dress before sitting back beside the Admiral.

"I was going to apologize to you for my behavior, but after this consider us even." Hackett said, his voice rough and showing his annoyance.

"We have a dispute to settle." Alucard said, calmer than he should be for what he was about to say. "You're not the only one who wants her first time."

I couldn't believe he was doing that.

"First?" Hackett asked and I nodded.

"I'm virgin."

"Oh."

"Yes." Alucard continued. "And as it turns out, you are not the only man wanting to be with her in this place. We thought it only fair that we'd settle among ourselves who should have her first."

"Us?" Hackett asked at the same time I asked "Shouldn't I be the one to decide that?"

"That would be me, the assassins," plural? Thane's staying? "and you. And by all means, tell us who you want to be yours first."  He added with a teasing tone.

Alucard, Zevran, Thane or Hackett? There was no way I could choose. I shook my head. "I don't know."

"As expected." Alucard said. "Now, Hackett, we have a meeting, if you please."

"You can't be serious." The Admiral said.

"Oh but I am. And don't think you can escape this and take her somewhere. I will follow and interrupt no matter where you go." He smiled that deviously beautiful smirk that could have my blood pumping at high speeds. "And I can walk under the sun, don't think daylight would stop me. I can be anywhere. And you would never know until it was too late."

Hackett looked at me as if asking "Is he serious?" and I nodded with pursed lips. "He could definitely do it. And he's sadistic and bored enough to do it."

The Admiral sighed and stood. "Very well. Let us decide this."

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I took some liberties with Arashu since nothing is very clear about her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, many things got in the way. I hope you like the chapter :)

I wanted to follow the men to their meeting, since it was about me, but they didn't let me. Alucard said it would build more tension than it was necessary and Hackett said it would be awkward, that it would feel like an auction.

I just thought it was stupid.

Why did it matter who was the first if I wanted them all? Did they care that much about it? I saw how annoyed Hackett was and I doubted it was simply sexual frustration for having been interrupted. Thane didn't seem the type either. Would Zevran care about it? I didn't think so.

The more I thought the more I was sure the idea came from the bored vampire. He probably wanted to stir things up, raise the tension, get revenge for Hackett's interruption.

Since I didn't find anyone downstairs I assumed they either were all in the library, which was where Alucard took the Admiral, or the ones not involved were in their rooms. And I thought it best to head to mine too.

After taking another shower and doing laundry.

  
  


It was odd to try and fall asleep while knowing there were men downstairs trying to decide who would take me to bed first. I felt like those maidens from the middle ages waiting for knights to win a trial for the right to court them.

And I missed having someone in bed with me. Badly.

  
  


When I opened my eyes it was late morning and that didn't make me happy in the least. I had missed breakfast. I liked cooking for them and unless they wanted to do it, I hoped to be the one preparing meals; and I hadn't been there to see what it would be today.

I got into another flowery dress and quickly made my way downstairs, finding Hackett at the table once again surrounded by paper. There were more maps there and I assumed it covered the areas explored the day before. Just how fast could Solas draw? Did he use magic to help him? He hadn't that time I saw him but that was a simpler map.

"Good morning, Admiral." I said with a smile, feeling so happy that he wanted to be with me.

As I approached him, intent on kissing him, he raised a hand for me to stop. That confused me. "I have to tell you something."

"Please don't tell me you regret it."

"That's not it." He took a deep breath and my heart was tightening with apprehension. "It was a long discussion, we couldn't decide on a fair challenge. Almost everything would favor Alucard." He sighed. "So it was decided that you would choose."

"But I can't choose."

"You will choose, eventually." He said with some sadness. I was completely lost. I couldn't choose. "Our challenge is not to touch you," what? "and the one you touch will be your chosen."

"Then I'll just touch you now and be done with it. This challenge is silly."

"Bethany, as much as I would love nothing more than to have you in my arms again," Oh my God, did he mean that? "Alucard made it quite clear he wouldn't accept it and would do whatever it took to stop it."

"This is ridiculous. His stupid pride wants me to play his game."

"Something like that."

"Ridiculous. Absolutely stupid." I shook my head. "We could be loving each other and he wants to play? I bet he won't accept unless I choose him."

"No. You misunderstood. He is actually being fair."

"I don't see how. This is anything but fair. Do you have any idea how long I've been dreaming about loving you? About loving you all?"

"The book leads me to believe it has been a long time."

"Over fifteen years for some of you. You, Admiral, I've dreamed of for eleven." He gasped.

"That is a long time loving someone. Especially someone you thought didn't exist."

"And now that you're all here and willing he wants me to play!" I groaned in annoyance and it surprised the man before me. "I want to strangle him!"

"He... well, he thinks that if you wait you will bond with us, and whoever you choose won't just be the target of your desires."

"He can read my mind for God's sake! He knows my love is true!"

"Yet he insisted that if you wait until you have your..." he cleared his throat, "perfect choice you'll be happier."

"Damn that old fashioned man. Alright, it was a dream of mine to have my first time with a man who loved me, not simply desired me. But..." I sighed "you four want to stay with me in this place, that proves you care about me. I'm satisfied with that."

"It would seem he doesn't believe it is enough for you, and that shows I have, indeed, been wrong about him and that he cares about you."

"I wish it hadn't been necessary a virtual chastity belt for you to see it." I took a deep breath. "Alright... I won't kiss you good morning. And it sucks that I can't hug you or even hold your hand. It seems I'll have to sleep alone too. This is so unfair."

"It is."

"Why can't I just choose you now and make love on this table?"

He coughed, badly. "You sure can be direct."

"I can. Sometimes. So what are the rules of this damn challenge?"

"He named it Pining."

"You can't be serious."

"We're supposed to endure until we can no longer stay away. And then you'll make your choice."

"So unfair. What if I decided I don't want to play and sat on your lap now?" I approached the Admiral and saw he was very interested in my suggestion despite everything.

"You're not allowed to break the challenge." Alucard's voice echoed in the large room just as my feet glued to the floor. I looked down and felt as if I had been thrown a bucket of icy water as I looked straight into a black puddle full of blinking red eyes. Creepy bastard.

"This isn't fair! Come on, Alucard!" I shouted for the room.

The vampire slowly descended the stairs, no longer wearing his pajamas and instead wearing his usual clothes, duster and all; as if he was the center of a show. "Little witch, little witch, you avoided my attention just as much as you did that poor elven assassin, and now you completely abandoned the morals that held you back with us. Do you think that's fair?"

"So it's revenge?"

He smirked. "In a way."

"Damn you."

"Oh but I am quite damned already."

"It's not fair." My chest was tightening, shit. I didn't want to cry in front of them. "This is cruel. They have accepted me, you have accepted me for God's sake! Why play now?"

His mirth died and it was brief, but I caught a change in his expression.That broke my heart further. I only wanted love. To love them and be loved by them. To be happy and make them happy. And he was holding us all back.

"You think I'm cruel? Well, little witch, you should have known that already. I am heartless." And he broke his body down into countless bats before flying them over my head and dissapearing.

God damn it. I hurt his feelings.

"Alucard! Get back here! Come on!" I pleaded, when no answer came I sighed. "Shit."

"He'll come around."

"What do you think of this?"

"I don't like it. I like even less that he waited until I was open with you to start this."

"And you say he's not forcing me to choose him."

"I don't think he is. Especially now that he got you mad at him. This is deliberate. He wants to push your buttons and see what makes you snap."

"How do you know that?"

"I've seen people like him."

"Oh. But the worst is that I think you're right and he means well with it. I can't hate him even when I'm so angry, so... frustrated."

"What will you do now?"

"Continue what I had been doing. Just... without touching anyone it would seem." I sighed. "It was so hard to sleep alone last night... I got used to it."

Hackett gave me a sad smile. "It's been years since I slept with company. I'm afraid you will become used to it again."

"I hope I can end this challenge soon. But I guess it'll be hard with them being out there everyday. Maybe I could focus on you."

"I do have to analyze the information they gathered, you know. To find the Summoner."

"Right." I sighed. "I'll go eat something and work on my garden." And as soon as I intended to move towards the kitchen the black mass dissolved and let me walk. "Have you eaten?" I asked from the kitchen as I looked at the cold pancakes.

"I have."

"Want more coffee?"

"Yes, thank you."

I hung the cup on my little finger, grabbed a plate of pancakes and took the coffee jar with me back to the table. After I put the plate and cup in front of my seat I poured the hot beverage into his mug and then into my cup.

"Any progress?" I asked as I took the seat.

"Nothing important so far. We could really be the only people in this place for kilometers. If not the whole territory. Aside from the Summoner."

"You know, I was thinking. How can we survive here if it is only us?"

"The house is self-sustaining, somehow. We have food and water both in the house and outside. You have the garden."

"But can we stay sane?"

He looked at me then. "I don't know. We'd have to find activities to exercise both mind and body."

"Do you really want to stay?"

He looked at me and he was serious when he said the words "I do."

I smiled. Damn, I was so happy. I was going to hold his hand when I remembered I couldn't. "I'll try to think of something."

"Be careful what you wish for."

"I will."

I ate in silence while he analyzed the papers and when I was done I excused myself to work the garden. There were more seeds to be planted and I had to tend to what was already there.

It surprised me to see there were sprouts already coming off the ground. It was very fast indeed.

It took me a couple of hours to get everything the way it should be, carrying water from the river to a container near the garden so I could water the plants easily and planting the seeds where I'd have the orchard. So far I had peach, apple, lemon and mango. A nice selection.

  
  


Back inside the house I prepared sandwiches for our lunch. I'd have to bake bread after we ate that package. There was still enough for a few days if it was only me and the Admiral eating it, but I thought I should check those recipe books. And that I would have to find a way to plant something that could be turned into flour. And probably build a grinder or mill.

When I asked he told me how it was to be an Admiral and I didn't envy him. It was a great burden; too many responsibilities in his hands, the fate and lives of billions of people hanging on his shoulders. It was already hard for me to think about us nine in here, I couldn't imagine the pressure he felt. At least he wouldn't have to worry in here. Whoever the Summoner was I was sure they wouldn't be a problem. If this whole thing was born out of my desire to be happy with all of them there couldn't be anything here to harm us.

It never crossed my mind that while the Summoner wouldn't harm us they had entire control over the place and could decide who left or stayed. And that it could be the reason the others were so intent on finding the mysterious person, not just for answers or safety, but to ask or force them to return them home.

I told Hackett I was going for a swim to relax my muscles. In reality I planned on only soaking as the currents massaged my body. I would have loved it if he joined me, but he declined.

  
  


There was something energizing in rivers that I always loved and that one seemed to have even stronger properties. I barely realized the day was ending when Hackett called me.

Still reclined against the rock I looked at him, the colors of sunset making him so magical. I noticed it then, the glimmering of the synthetic half of him on his skin. Beautiful.

"What is beautiful?" He asked and I realized I had said the word aloud. He was holding a towel, my towel. It had flower embroidery.

"You are beautiful." He was surprised, either by my honesty or my words I supposed. "You always were, but now that I see the synthetic glimmer you're... magical."

"It took me a while to get used to it. Come, you'll catch a cold in there."

"I didn't even notice the time pass by." I said as I stood, showing him my naked form. He averted his eyes and I didn't know if out of respect or self-preservation. It wouldn't do to be aroused and unable to touch the woman who also wanted him, I supposed. But I noticed that was already too late as I approached. His hardness was quite visible under the thin pajamas and I had to force my thoughts away from that area. "Thank you." I said as I took the towel from him, careful not to touch his hand.

"You're welcome."

It was odd to dry myself with the Admiral nearby. I wanted nothing more than to throw myself at him. This 'Pining' was horrible.

When I was done I just wrapped the towel around me and picked the clothes on the grass. I''d wear clean ones when we returned.

We walked in silence, but I noticed he was deep in thoughts. Once inside the house I made my way to my bedroom so I could change and after I was done and dirty clothes and towel were left at the laundry room, I headed for the kitchen to start dinner.

"We should prepare more rations." Hackett said as he entered the kitchen. "Do you want to help me?"

"Oh sure."

The ration cookies were a mixture of many vegetables and minced meat with flour. We added seasoning to make it more enjoyable and after they were done we worked together on dinner. I was happy to see we had lentils and I selected a few to plant the next day.

  
  


The others arrived when we were almost done. Thane and Zevran came in to greet us and I worried immediately about what I saw. The elf's hair was a dirty mess, I wasn't sure if his pajamas were stained or ruined. I hoped they weren't ripped. Thane was in a similar state, his brilliant green scales faded with dirt, as were his clothes. "What happened to you?"

"It is nothing, don't worry." Zevran said. "We spent most of the day trying to find a way down the chasm."

"Did you?" Hackett asked.

"We did. After a rather unbecoming fall."

"Fall?!" That worried me.

"We're fine, mi cara. Don't worry. Nobody is hurt. We did need the mage to take us out of there, however."

"I thought Solas would be exploring the forest after the signature." Hackett said.

"He was. And he had to come save us."

"What was down there?" I asked.

"It looked like a village fell through the ground." Iorveth said, entering the kitchen and leaning against the door jamb. "Crumbled walls, broken roof and doors. All of it in a pile as if they had crumbled one on top of the other."

"Could it have been an earthquake?"

"We can't say." Thane said. "None of us has experience with this. But I wouldn't exclude the possibility."

"What do we do now?"

"We discuss what they have found." Hackett said.

"Alright, but you all have to shower first."

"There's a line, you know." Iorveth said.

"Oh." Maybe I should have wished for more bathrooms.

"I saw your garden has sprouted." The change of subject was strange but not unwelcome.

I smiled. "It's great, isn't it? It was really fast."

"I also noticed you like flowers."

Another change of subject? "I do. They're beautiful and smell nice."

"Will you be planting more flowers outside?"

"Ah... I don't know. Maybe if I find any out there in the forest or on the hills."

"Here." He stepped forward and extended his arm to me, a fist pointing in my direction. "Open your hand."

"Ah, alright." I offered him my hand, palm facing upward. It surprised me that he could touch me. So the challenge was only among the four? I felt tiny objects being released onto my palm and I quickly closed my fingers enough to keep them from falling off onto the floor. "Seeds?"

"We came by a rose bush. I think you will like them." He crossed his arms in front of his chest, still standing in the middle of the kitchen.

"Oh. Thank you very much! I can't wait to see what they look like!" I looked around and noticed the men seemed a bit surprised by the exchange. "I'll plant them in the morning."

"I didn't take you for a flower man." Zevran said.

"And what kind of man did you think I was?" Iorveth's expression was pure calm.

"Hmm. Not romantic, that's for sure."

"There is no romance involved here. She likes flowers, I found flowers. They're worth cultivating, she likes gardening."

Zevran didn't seem to buy it; he was smirking, but I believed Iorveth. It was clear he liked roses, especially that one so special to his people. It wouldn't surprise me if he just wanted to see a rose garden again.

"I'll do my best to make a beautiful garden."

"We have no doubt." Hackett said. "Here." He offered me a small glass and I took it to put the seeds inside.

"Thank you."

"How old were the ruins?" The Admiral continued.

"Hard to say without a scanner." Thane said.

"Over three decades." Iorveth said. "Nature has been reclaiming it for at least that long. But it doesn't seem older than a century."

"Are you sure?" Hackett asked.

"I've seen too many ruins in my life. I'm sure."

"What about people?"

"The rubble was hard to go through," Zevran said, "but we didn't find signs of people. But if it's as old as he said it just might all be gone."

"I wonder how dangerous it is to wish for your omnitool..."

"What is so special about that item?" Iorveth asked.

"It's a multi task tool." Hackett said before I could. "It can access information-" He stopped mid-sentence and took a deep breath. "It might have less uses than it had if she brings it. The information I had stored in it wouldn't help us. We would need to connect to servers to have the info we need and I don't think that's possible here."

"Damn... I forgot about that." But maybe... "Maybe I could still wish for one with every information that could be useful to us."

"If you're supposed to be punished for being greedy that would be quite dangerous." Thane said. "That is the sort of wish I'd consider greedy."

"He's right." Hackett said.

I sighed. "It is greedy, isn't it? It'd be so perfect though... can you imagine all that knowledge and capabilities?"

"How are you supposed to be punished?" Zevran asked.

"I don't know exactly. The man in the book before I got here was a very greedy person. He wanted to be the most powerful, the richest, to have many women, he wished the death of his rivals, and the more he got the more miserable his life became. His wives despised him, his health deteriorated, he couldn't taste his food, and in the end he was alone. He lost everything he wished for."

"Are you sure the same would happen to you?"

"Haven't you read the book?" Zevran shook his head. "It says this is my life now because I activated the book and as it was with the ones before, my decisions will be measured and balanced accordingly."

"That's vague."

"Very. So far I have asked for the garden and for Iorveth's return, even though that turned out completely different. I didn't see any ill consequence."

"Maybe..." Thane paused, "Your wishes weren't for you. Maybe that is why nothing bad happened."

"Hmm. Could that be it? Would I be free to use the power if it's not for my sole benefit?"

"I still think it is dangerous to use that power." Hackett said. "We should find the Summoner first and be sure of how it works."

"But can we find the Summoner without the omnitool?"

"We keep trying. Maybe Solas can find them."

"I wonder if the Summoner knows we're searching for them."

"They likely do if they can monitor whatever it is you do here." Iorveth said.

"Wait... do you think they know everything I do?" Of course they would... they have to track my actions, my wishes. "That can be... embarrassing."

"It's too late to worry about that." Zevran said with a smirk.

He was right. And whoever the Summoner was they knew my inner desires or we wouldn't even be here. There was no room for embarrassment.

We didn't speak much after that. They helped set the table before each took a turn in the bathroom. While we waited for everyone to be done with their showers Solas explained what he did that day.

The forest, as Iorveth had said, was old and full of mysteries. The signature he was tracking became all the more complicated to follow among the trees, but he was sure he could find the person. He would have to prepare for extended time away, however. Wherever the Summoner was, Solas was sure they were farther than half a day's journey.

Hackett said he anticipated this and had more rations prepared. Now they would only need water and something to protect them from the weather; and I saw both in that shed. Why would the Summoner give us these tools ahead of time? I wouldn't wish for them because I hated camping.

When finally everyone was sitting and eating we discussed the events of the day and their observations about the ruins. One question haunted everyone: what had happened there? But another was shared almost as much: were there more?

I have to admit I was not as engaged in the conversation as I would normally be. That challenge among the men bothered me, saddened me, and I only wished Alucard would give up on it.

"I thought you were stronger than this." The vampire said into my head. We were still around the table, everyone but the vampire in question, although the dinner had long been eaten, and I didn't want to interrupt the others' discussion with my own private one. Doing my best to be calm, I tried not to show any reaction to his words.

"Why would you even measure my strength?" I answered in thought.

"I measure everyone's strength. And your sudden lack of enthusiasm is disappointing." It was difficult to restrain myself after hearing that.

"Why did you do it, Alucard? Are you enjoying the strain you're putting me through?"

"Actually... yes." And somehow I knew he was smiling that devilishly tempting smile.

"Why couldn't you just enjoy the debauchery?" Hackett had called it debauchery and he wasn't exactly wrong.

"I've already seen much of it, partook in it even. This is much more entertaining; the desire that burns unable to be quenched, the despair born out of increasing longing, the anger that clamors for revenge. Those are much more beautiful, little witch."

"More than my pleasure that you claimed was beautiful?"

"You will not change my mind, little witch. Suffer the challenge and pick your prize."

"We could go to my bed or yours and enjoy each other, why is this better?"

"If you eventually decide to be like me you will understand."

"Don't you miss loving someone, Alucard? Being loved? Cared for? Doesn't your body crave sex?"

"Little witch, I'm dead." And he laughed. "Those you speak of are things that belong to the living."

I couldn't hold back the sigh, which made Zevran look at me with interest but I shook my head. I didn't want to explain or interrupt their discussion further. "I'm sorry about this morning. What I told you. I was mad and didn't think it through." I told Alucard.

"There is no need to concern yourself, but I appreciate a human coming to their senses. It doesn't happen often."

"Can I at least have someone to sleep with?"

"Can you do it without touching? Would it not be more painful to be so close yet unable to act on your desires? By all means, I even encourage you to invite someone to your bed, it would make things more exciting."

"That's horrible."

"Horrible, fun; it is all a matter of perspective."

God... he was impossible. Why did I even love him?

"Because you, my little witch, has a wicked part inside of you that resonates with me. And you like it." He wasn't wrong.

"Iorveth touched me earlier so I assume the others aren't part of the challenge?"

"You assume correctly."

"So they're free for me to touch?"

"If you believe your touch will be welcome, of course." I knew he was smirking, and it was likely because he also knew there was no way any of the others would agree to share my bed. I would have to do as Hackett said and get used to it. Again.

"If I succeed will you interrupt?"

"No."

Was there actually any chance of the others agreeing? I was not even sure of how to approach Fenris; that man still seemed to hate me. Solas was always quietly observing things and I feared I would interrupt his thoughts. Iorveth has become... friendly, and while I did like the change I was unsure if I could push it. He told me he would not reciprocate my feelings. And then there was Evfra; his reception of my words and actions was a mystery box.

I needed fresh air, so I excused myself from the table and made my way outside. It surprised me to find so many shoes along with mine by the door, but it was good to know the men weren't walking barefoot wherever they went.

The night was beautiful and the temperature perfect. A spot on the grass seemed specially inviting and I sat there, watching the stars. Alucard was silent in my head and I couldn't know if he was still watching me, but I wanted him to; I wanted him to see how his brilliant idea was making me miserable. I doubted that would be fun to watch.

Lost in my sadness, I barely saw the stars, barely felt the wind and did not hear, at all, the sounds of the people approaching me.

"Why are you here, alone?" Thane asked and when I turned to look at him I saw the others: Zevran and Hackett.

I decided to stall my explanation; I wasn't ready to show them all how much this challenge bothered me. Hackett discovered it firsthand, having been the one to give the news, but I thought that if I told them all I'd cry. And I hated crying.

"I thought it was best to let you discuss the plans in private. Maybe the Summoner wouldn't know them if I'm away and it would be easier to find them." That was actually something I just thought about.

"That would leave you in the dark, are you comfortable not knowing our plans?" Hackett asked.

"Whatever helps." I gave a small smile.

"You could have gone anywhere, why sit here in the dark and cold?" Thane asked.

"I wanted some fresh air and it's not really cold."

"You have goosebumps all over you." How could Zevran see that detail? It was quite dark. "Let's go inside, the discussion is already over."

I sighed. "Alright."

I went back inside, they talked to me, but I couldn't give them my full attention. I was almost breaking. Since the bathroom was free, I went inside in what definitely looked like a fleeing move. If they suspected something was wrong, now they had confirmation.

Against my expectations, the bathroom was clean. Either someone cleaned it or it was yet another thing in the house that maintained itself. I didn't linger my thoughts on it though, my heart was aching. The men I loved wanted to stay with me and I couldn't even touch their hands.

I cried in the shower until I couldn't stand, then I went down on my knees and cried until I couldn't breathe. Was it too much to ask to be loved? Maybe this challenge Alucard came up with was the way the book found to balance my wishes? Because it felt like a punishment for sure. I knew Alucard was evil, cruel with his enemies, but I wasn't one of them. He had comforted me before, made me happy even, why would he put me in such pain himself?

I don't know how long I stayed in there, but at some point I calmed down. My throat was swollen and hoarse, as were my eyes. There was no way to hide what happened.

With my mind still dazed I collected the impossibly dirty clothes along with mine and made my way to the laundry room. Thankfully there was nobody waiting to see my sorry look. I couldn't put the clothes in the washing machine as they were, so I left them soaking and would wash them in the morning.

  
  


I didn't know how I was going to sleep knowing that I would be starved of touch until Alucard was satisfied with the challenge. My chances included it never ending. I had never been so sad in my entire life.

As soon as I closed the door he showed himself. Alucard, standing in front of my windows with his back to me. I could only take a deep breath and try to hold back my anger that was resurfacing at the sight of him. At that moment he was so much like a cat playing with his food. And I was the food.

“Can't you see it?” He asked while still watching the night.

“What?”

“Your emotions, little witch, they are haywire.”

“Oh, whose fault is that?”

“Your own, of course.”

“Wha- mine?”

“Yes.” He closed the curtain and turned to face me. “What brought us all here?”

“The book.”

He shook his head slowly. “You did.”

“I couldn't have done it without the book.”

“But the book alone would not have brought us. It needed your wishes.”

“Okay. So what?”

“I remember the girl who awoke me. She was afraid of her situation and still kept her mind and words calm. She pleaded for everyone to respect each other and refrain from provoking ill reactions. She loved them all equally and would have done anything for each and every one of them. Can you tell me you are still that girl?”

“Of course.”

“Are you sure? Are you not putting a few above others? Letting your desire cloud your judgment? If this was a test, little witch, you would have failed it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I will not call off the challenge. As I said before, I want you to suffer through it and pick your prize. But I want you to do so consciously. You are losing yourself to your emotions, you can barely think as it is. _That_ , defeats the objective.”

He wasn't wrong, _again_ , and I almost hated him for it. “It's too hard, Alucard. Why force me to stay away from them? From _you_? It was so good to hug you, to kiss you... and now... now you want me lonely.”

“No. You are not alone, but being lonely depends solely on you. Touch is not everything, little witch, and you are the one pushing us all away simply because you cannot touch us anymore. Again, if this was a test you would have failed it.”

“So what am I to do? I can't pretend I like this! Do _you_ like this?!”

“Of couse I do not. But sometimes diet is necessary, wouldn't you agree?”

“Di- diet?”

“Oh don't misunderstand, I'm not hungry and even if I were I could still have your elven assassin's blood.” He smirked, damn him. He knew that made me jealous, especially now that I couldn't touch either of them. “I only mean that sometimes we have to stay away from things we like in order to enjoy them better the next time we have them.”

I sat on the ridiculously large bed and watched him. He wanted me to keep my thoughts clear throughout this challenge so I could enjoy my loved ones' presence without lust clouding my mind. Why would he even care? If he claimed so often that he didn't have feelings because he was a vampire this shouldn't be something he'd do. If it was so much fun to watch me suffer he wouldn't have comforted me so many times before and he wouldn't be here now explaining things.

“I don't understand you, Alucard.”

He smiled. “I would be surprised if you did.”

“Just... just tell me one thing, Alucard. Do you care about me?”

He raised an eyebrow and I was quite sure he would laugh, but he didn't. It seemed he was merely surprised. “Would I stay in this place if I didn't?” So he did? “Although I could decide to stay only to make your life a living hell as revenge for bringing me against my willl, don't you think so?” He gave me that devilish smile then.

“Can't you just give me a simple and honest answer?”

“Can't I mean both those answers?” He was still smiling.

“Please, one simple answer?”

He seemed thoughtful then. “Earlier you asked if I missed being loved. The truth, little witch, is that I did not even remember what that was like until I met you. As for my own feelings, do you honestly believe a dead heart can feel anything?”

“I don't think you need a piece of flesh to have feelings.”

“Don't I?” He smirked. “I suppose we will have to see, won't we? Now that you're calmer, I can go outside and explore while you sleep.”

“Were you worried?”

“No. You were just being noisy.” Oh that smile will be the death of me. “Good night, little witch.”

“Good night, Alucard. Thank you.” He tilted his head in confusion. “For stopping by and talking to me.”

“You are welcome. Now sleep.” He left through the floor as the lights turned off and I was left alone and wondering what actually went around in his head.

I was sleepy, but I never felt that bed so empty as I did then and it made falling asleep much more difficult. I hoped the others had better luck.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rainy days make things more interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, a lot happened and to top it off I got sick(still am, but I'm well enough to complete the chapter and post it).  
> One good thing that happened(although it gives me more work) is that now I have a Patreon for my original stories, let me know if you want to check it out and I'll leave the link.  
> I hope you like the chapter :)

Morning came with a storm. I was exhausted, the night had been restless and I slept too lightly. The conversation with Alucard had been enlightening, but I was still bothered by everything that had happened.

My suspicion was confirmed as soon as I descended the stairs: because of the rain the men hadn't left for their exploration. Everyone, but the vampire who wasn't present, greeted me when I arrived downstairs. They sat at the table with plates and cups in front of them, some empty and others still with pancake. It would seem it was a favorite dish, at least while we still rationed food.

I couldn't help wondering if my three beloved were suffering just as much as I was with the challenge. I wanted to kiss them good morning and I couldn't. At least it seemed I didn't have tears left to shed, so while I still hurt, at least I wasn't on the verge of breaking apart.

Hackett had been the one to make breakfast and I thanked him. It was actually good that he had because with my current mood whatever I cooked would probably have turned terrible.

It was odd to have breakfast with all of them after days having only the Admiral for company, but it also gave me another chance to see how they were behaving around each other. Apparently the journeys outside have improved their relationship, especially after the previous day's incident. Solas was their hero now, and Evfra was asking him about magic yet again. The mage, as expected, was happy to talk about one of his favorites subjects. Hackett asked for a demonstration and Solas agreed to show him later.

Alucard had been right, in my excitement about four of them wanting to stay with me, kissing and desiring me, I had been neglecting the others. I failed to notice Fenris did not actually seem so mad anymore, he was even getting along quite well with the others. Evfra was more relaxed and Solas was smiling on occasion. He was so beautiful when he smiled.

How could I have gone so blind and so quickly? It wasn't fair at all of me to neglect them, to almost forget them. All of them were here because of me, I had to be good to them all, not only the ones who have accepted my feelings. Alucard was right; if that had been a test I would have failed it. Utterly. I had to redeem myself.

Gardening that day was out of question; I would not attempt to discover whether or not it was possible to fall sick. Planting the roses would have to wait and I needed something else to do.

It did not take me long to realize I had many options, but one was specially attractive.

Perhaps I had been given the perfect opportunity to turn things around, talk to the men as I should, enjoy their presence. This place was a gift, a blessing; with or without their reciprocation of my feelings, I had with me eight people who I had believed didn't exist, I could know them better, learn things, share what I knew, have fun together. And since some wanted to leave, instead of becoming depressed about it I should enjoy the time I still had left with them; make the most out of it.

And that was a life changing realization, which consequently became a milestone.

From that point on I gathered my courage and talked to the others, although I was still not confident enough to talk to Fenris alone. I took pleasure in explaining to them what I had seen in the games and learned how those events fit in their lives. They were more forthcoming and welcoming than I expected.

From Solas I learned that Emily Trevelyan had been a fair Inquisitor who supported mages and elves. Of course I also asked who she chose as a romantic interest. Iron Bull. I was sad to hear that the Hero of Ferelden was a cruel man, that Marian Hawke supported the templars and that darkspawn was threatening the world once again. At least his army was protecting the elves. They had been through so much injustice and cruelty, they deserved better. Nobody should be treated as less because of their nature.

Hawke in Fenris' reality was a man who supported the mages and kept arguing with him. Still, the elf had been shocked to receive Varric's letter informing him of Hawke's death in the fade. He might not have liked the man, but they had worked well together against slavers. The Hero of Ferelden was also their King and the events of the Inquisition had left the South in uproar. Orlais was uneasy with the power heads alive and scheming and the people feared another civil war, the qunari was a threat and the elves were disappearing; their absence destroying the society the humans knew.

Zevran told me the Hero of Ferelden in his reality was a bright and hopeful elven girl from Denerim who fell in love with him, but he wasn't ready for love, not yet. I felt sorry for the Hero, but also thankful; she had prepared his heart, healed it a little and likely it was the reason I had a chance with him. He said his encounter with Garret Hawke had been brief, he was betrayed and fled, only to take his revenge afterwards. He conquered the Crows, helped Leliana with an issue and even visited Skyhold for some days. Back then he had no idea the apostate painter was the elven god of betrayal, mischief and rebellion. He didn't know much about what happened following Corypheus' defeat since he was too busy having to deal with Tevinter assassins threatening his work, and life.

Three very different viewpoints from very different world states.

Evfra was uncomfortable around me and I decided to give him space and spend the rest of the afternoon becoming better acquainted with the recipe books in the library. Hopefully the garden would be enough to provide us everything we needed and I would have to learn how to cook more interesting dishes.

Alucard didn't come to me and I didn't go after him.

The rain continued the next day, so they stayed in again. I found a leather jacket in the library and knew immediately who would be delighted to have it. Zevran's smile as he took it from my hands was enchanting, and it was amusing when he smelled it and didn't find the scent he expected. My happiness when he said he loved it was only lesser than when he had told me he would stay with me.

The elven assassin looked gorgeous in black leather and I could only hope they would give me pants and boots to go along.

That was a line of thinking that showed exactly what worried me about the place: I didn't have access to anything, I couldn't make most things, there were no other people who could. We had only what was in the house and whatever we could find outside. And most of it didn't compare to the life I had before--for better or worse.

That day I also talked some more with Evfra, who made sure he said the challenge we were having was stupid. Something was still bothering him, but I couldn't gather the courage to ask.

It wasn't any easier to avoid expressing my feelings through touch even though I was calmer about it. I wanted to hug and kiss them; keeping the distance was horrible.

At one point that afternoon I was taken by surprise when I accidentally overheard Thane talking to Zevran about how he missed having me in bed beside him.

"Be glad that is all you get to miss, my friend." The elf said. "I had the pleasure of feeling her naked body against mine and I'm aching to feel her soft flesh again. Her lips..." He sighed. "Damn vampire."

"I could still relish in my memories-"

"Right, you have special memory."

"But I have to agree." Thane continued. "She is suffering the most, however."

"And she is the only one who can end your torture." Alucard's voice sounded in the room. "How long do you think you can endure the pain?"

"I'd rather not think about that." Zevran said.

"Me neither." Thane said.

"Hmm. Most interesting."

"What is it?" The elf asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it." The vampire said and I could almost hear the smirk I was sure was there. "In any case, care for a donation, assassin?" My heart skipped a beat.

"That... might be a good distraction."

I couldn't take it. I knew what was going to happen and I couldn't hear about it, so I quickly left.

My hasty escape led me to the main room and into a rock solid mass of blue. "Ah, sorry."

"Careful." Evfra's rough voice was a balm at that moment and before I could even think about what I was doing I hugged him. He was large and I could barely circle his body with my arms, but he was softer than I imagined and wonderfully warm. "What- what are you doing?"

His words made me realize what I had done, but even though I was embarrassed I couldn't let go. I needed that comfort too much.

"Just a minute, please." I said against his chest.

His answer was a sigh.

I tried not to take further advantage, so I focused on getting my thoughts together and let go of him probably around two minutes later.

"Thank you." I said as I stepped back. "And I'm sorry."

"What happened?"

"Ah..." I didn't want to think about it, but he deserved to know after my sudden invasion of his personal space. "Alucard and Zevran... you know."

"I see." We stood there in silence for a brief moment before he continued. "Why does it bother you?"

His question took me aback. "Well, it... it makes me jealous." I took a deep breath. "Especially now that I can't touch them."

"Why did you accept the challenge?"

"I didn't get a choice. I tried to ignore it, but Alucard didn't let me. He used his powers to stop me from hugging the Admiral and said he would do it as many times as I tried to end the stupid thing." I sighed and tried to hold back some stubborn tears.

"I thought you agreed to play with their feelings."

"What? Never! Love is a precious thing, I would never play with it. Alucard, however, looks pretty happy making us miserable." I sighed.

"It's your fault. You brought him."

"I know. But what can I do? I love him too."

"Even after what he did?"

I gave him a sad smile. "Yes. Besides, he wasn't wrong when he said it was to help me."

"Help? How making you miserable helps?"

"Because of the challenge I can... well... talk to everyone again. I..." I cleared my throat. "I would probably be in my room, for the past three days, with one of them if he wasn't doing this."

"Some would say your alternative is better, so why is the challenge helping?"

"Because I don't want to ignore anybody. You're all here because I brought you, I shouldn't leave you just because some want to stay with me."

"I don't think anyone would blame you."

"Well, I would. After I came to my senses. And I would regret not getting to know you all better-" The sound of Iorveth's flute reached my ears and I felt the urge to find him. "He plays so well, don't you think so?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he'd mind if I watched him play? I mean, he played for me when I gave him the flute but I guess he was just being polite."

Evfra grunted in annoyance. "Just go."

"You think I should?"

"You're the one in love with him. You should know."

"Ah. Does it bother you that I want to watch him?"

"No."

"Do you want to watch him too?" That surprised him. "You like the flute too, don't you? Come with me."

"Fine."

"Do you... can I..." His annoyed grunt made me completely give up on asking him to let me hug him again. "Never mind, let's go."

We followed the sound and found Iorveth sitting in his open window. He had a blanket on his shoulders and looked so serene. His eyes found me as soon as I entered, but he didn't stop playing, when he saw Evfra behind me and simply continued I took it as permission to stay and moved closer.

We stayed like that for a long while; Iorveth playing his flute and Evfra and I watching in silence sitting on the rug and leaning against the bed with about a step of distance between us. I wished there wasn't any distance.

"It's a surprise to see you here." The elf said when he ended his song.

"We heard you playing and I wanted to see you play again. Evfra agreed to join."

"And now that you are no longer playing I should go back to the library." And then I realized I completely interrupted Evfra's plans, but before I could think to apologize Iorveth's chuckle surprised me.

"Enjoy your reading, Evfra." He said while standing up. Outside the sky was darkening and showed no sign of clearing. I wondered how long it would take for the rain to stop.

It was only when Iorveth closed the window and pulled the curtain that I realized I was still sitting on the floor, and alone with him. Despite our improved relationship I was still nervous around him and I was torn. Part of me froze, the other wanted to leave immediately.

"Are you comfortable there?" He asked with a smirk.

"Well, it's fluffy and I have a great view." My bluntness surprised us both, but his approach surprised me more.

"You must be burning." He said right after sitting beside me. Closer than Evfra had been.

"Burning?"

"Yes. You had four men wanting to get under your skirts and now you can't touch them."

"Ah... that. Well..." I couldn't keep eye contact with him so I turned my gaze to my feet. "It's less of a burn and more of an ache. It's... not entirely... sexual. I miss holding Thane's hand to sleep, being held by Alucard, kissing Zevran and the Admiral."

"So you don't want sex?"

I choked. I wasn't even sure I heard it right. His hand on my back to soothe the coughing was another surprise. "Wha- what?"

"Don't you want sex?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Dh'oine always want sex."

"Ah. Well, I guess that's true for most humans, but there's a line between wanting and going after it."

"Which is why I said you must be burning."

"Not really. Not... I don't know. Why are we talking about this?"

"Because it's raining."

"Raining? What does the rain have to do with it?"

"You don't know?"

"What?"

"I like sex when it rains."

"Oh."

I am quite sure my face lost all color at that moment, only to go completely red a few seconds later.

Iorveth laughed and it was so beautiful. My shyness disappeared as I enjoyed a rare moment of his.

"What?" He asked still affected by mirth, which gave him such lightness I couldn't have thought possible.

"You're... magnificent." His eyebrows went up. "The way you laugh... it's beautiful. I wish I could see it more often."

"Bethany, now is not a good time to be sweet with me."

"Why there should be a time?"

"I told you, the rain affects me and you're playing with fire if you stay."

"So that was serious?"

"Yes. I laughed because of your reaction, but I meant it."

"But... didn't you say we would never be anything other than friends?"

"It wouldn't be the first time I was wrong about something."

"What? Wait, is this only because of the rain?"

"No. But it plays a part in it." His hand touched my closest thigh, completely shocking me.

"This... this is crazy." I said as I watched his hand on me with wide eyes.

"Don't you want to?"

"I... I do, but... this is so sudden. Are you serious?"

"I wouldn't play with this. Let me be clear: I haven't changed my mind, I am leaving as soon as I find a way. But I think you are a very attractive woman and this rain only makes it worse for me to resist you. Since it started it made it next to unbearable staying close to you. Your perfume is strengthened even though I doubt you know it. I want sex with you. Do you want to do it with me?"

"Oh God." That was not why I went to his room that day, it definitely wasn't what I ever expected to get. I loved him, I've dreamed about doing it with him, but he didn't love me. He would still leave. But could I forgive myself if I let this chance pass? No, I couldn't. What if he never proposed again? "Yes, I do." As soon as the words were out of my mouth he freed his shaft, and it was beautiful.

I didn't wait a second before taking my hand to it. His moan at my touch was very satisfying. Moving my hand from tip to bottom I loved how hard and absolutely hot it was, the veins pulsed against my skin and I wondered how it would feel against other parts of me. His expression was mesmerizing and I found myself more in love with him.

"Beautiful." I said almost as a whisper.

He opened his eyes languidly. "What?" He was breathless.

"You're beautiful." The smile he gave me only confirmed my words. "Am I doing this right?" He was surprised then.

"You've never...?" I shook my head. "I thought..."

I snickered. "That because I wished for all of you here I had experience?"

"Well, and you're a dh'oine."

"I'm virgin. Full of unfulfilled desires."

"I could address that." And the moan that followed his words made my body heat up from toe to head.

"I hope Alucard lets you."

"I'm not part of your challenge."

"But I'm quite sure the challenge won't matter after I do this with you."

"All the better for you."

My hand was sticky and he was quite red, I was throbbing and wet without attention. "I guess I'm doing this right, then?"

"Yes. So right I can't ask you to stop even though I should."

"Why stop?"

"Because it's not- oh, not how this should be."

"Then how?"

When he stopped my hand his shaft twitched in my palm, then he pulled my hand away with a sigh.

"I didn't ask you to have sex with me so I could take advantage like a dh'oine. Let me show you how Aen Seidhe do it."

"Ah, sure."

He stood and offered me his hand, as soon as I took it he pulled me up. It was swift and I think it should have hurt, but it didn't. His arms wrapped around my body and his hands rested on my butt, which put us flushed against each other.

Slowly his hands lifted my dress, caressing my skin in the process. He was so gentle I couldn't believe he was the same man who had been so scary and cold. I raised my arms so he could pull the garment off and his pleased smile when he saw my breasts confirmed his words about his attraction. I was elated; he didn't find me disgusting at all, maybe with this I even had a chance.

His lips on my neck brought me out of my reverie. He was kissing me! He kissed my neck slowly and multiple times while his hands caressed and rubbed everywhere they roamed. He was quickly turning me into a panting hot mush. I could barely stand.

When his hands reached my breasts he moved his lips to my face; my jaw, my cheek, my forehead, my nose; and when he kissed my lips I felt fireworks inside me. Was that how it was supposed to be with someone he didn't even love? How would it be if he did?

He kissed me with intensity, desire and patience, with care; as if I would break if he pushed too much, and as if I would disappear if he stopped. His tongue caressed my own and my lips and I was sure I would never forget that moment. I could do little more than kiss him back, completely taken by the rhythm he set.

I was so entranced by his mouth that I only realized a single hand remained on my breast when his other entered my panties. I froze. And he stopped.

"Did you change your mind?" He looked worried.

"No. I... it surprised me, that's all."

His smile was all I needed to be sure I was doing the right thing. He moved his fingers in my panties while looking at me; I was embarrassed, but I couldn't move my gaze away. When his fingers slid effortlessly and he found the nub I shivered. A few more movements and I was moaning with half-lidded eyes. His face encouraged me to let go of every doubt and embarrassment and I could do nothing but free myself in his arms.

I was melting and I was going to fall when I felt his other hand on my butt, supporting me; I had no idea when it had moved there.

"Ah, Iorveth, ah, so close."

His gaze on me never wavered, he kept watching and drinking in my pleasure until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, and when I cried out he kissed me as he let me ride the orgasm on his fingers.

I couldn't believe what just happened and I couldn't believe it wasn't over. If I had never entered his room on a rainy day would this still happen?

While we still kissed I felt him remove his clothes. I wanted to see his naked body and kiss all of it, but he was the one in charge and the last thing I wanted was to ruin that, so I continued to follow along whatever he wanted to do.

He led me to lie on the bed and soon joined on top of me. His black hair fell from the sides and framed his face beautifully, but it was dangerously close to tickling whenever it touched me.

Iorveth kissed me patiently once again, this time spending some amazing time on my breasts before continuing down my body. He rolled my soaked panties down my hips and easily removed them, but while I expected him to come back up he pushed my thighs apart and kissed my nether lips. I couldn't believe he was doing that, I never thought it was something he even would think of doing. But as he kissed, licked and sucked, soon I lost the ability to think.

When the orgasm cleared from my mind I was holding his head so tight my fingers hurt. I immediately let go and was ready to see him mad, but he only smirked before kissing my thigh and moving up along my body.

"Am I dreaming?" I asked when he started kissing my neck.

"No."

"Are you really Iorveth?"

He pulled back to look me in the eyes, and God, I would never tire of seeing him with both of them healthy. "Yes. Why the sudden doubt?"

"Too good to be true."

He smiled and kissed me. I could taste myself and that was awkward, but I would never stop him.

And it was while we kissed that I felt his hand move my leg and he got in between them. It was in the next few seconds that I felt him so hard against me. He moved it up and down my nether lips, the sound was lewd and sexy. Then I felt his fingers and what I could only imagine was the tip of his shaft against my entrance. His fingers left, the large tip remained.

I thought it would hurt, it didn't. As he entered I only felt pressure as he filled me. And God, how he filled me! I was full and I never thought that was how it would be. It was so strange for me, but I could feel on the rhythm of his breath as he continued to kiss me that it was pure pleasure for him. I still didn't feel any good, but at least it wasn't hurting. And I felt him pulse inside of me, that was amazing.

Then he started moving his hips, slowly as had been everything so far, and he left my mouth to kiss my neck. His sounds gave me more pleasure than anything and I took the liberty to embrace him, feeling his broad back. There were scars of all kinds and I wished I could kiss them away.

The more he moved, however, the better it felt. The better it felt the louder I was. The louder I was the more passionate he was with his mouth and hands on my body. Never with his hips. His rhythm was slow and steady and absolutely maddening with how good it was making me feel.

It was a completely different experience to have an orgasm with him inside me. And it was glorious. Soon he jerked into me and I felt something really hot moving inside. His moan was beautiful and I hugged him tight as I planted multiple kisses on his face, then he captured my lips and didn't let go for many minutes.

"Amazing." I said still a little breathless when we parted. "Do you always do it like this?"

"It's never the same." His hair was framing my face too as he spoke on top of me. "But as your first time I thought it was best to do it slow. And I wanted to enjoy you for very long."

"Was it good for you?" I felt silly asking and I regretted it. He just smiled.

"Yes. You are everything I imagined and more."

"Aren't you saying it just to make me happy?"

"I don't do such things and you should know."

"Well, I never thought you would actually do this either."

"I'm not saying it to make you happy."

"That's... a relief." When he still didn't move I began wondering, but he kissed me before I could ask. "Are we doing it again?" I asked when he rested his head in the crook of my neck.

"You want more?" He sounded sleepy.

"I'm quite sated." I chuckled. "But you're still inside. Is that how it's done?"

He moved to look at me. "You don't know?" At my expectant face he just continued, "We're locked together for a few more minutes."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't pull it out without hurting us both. I thought you knew. Dh'oine don't have it, a part that swells to lock into the woman."

"Oh." What a wonderful way to discover he can knot. And God damn if I didn't find it hot. "Niiice."

His worry immediately lifted from his face and I just went ahead and kissed him.

"Was this a one-time thing?" I had to know.

"Probably not."

"Ah, good. You know, it's really strange nobody interrupted us."

"All the better."

"I wonder why though."

"You'll find out soon."

"Should I still keep my distance or am I allowed to touch you and kiss you around the house?"

"I... haven't decided."

"Ah, alright."

True to his word, it was a while until he slid out of me, giving me a last whisper of pleasure. And God, I was so wet. He had filled me so well, good thing he was too old for babies. Or not so good, I couldn't decide. I needed a shower though, immediately.

"I'm going to shower, do you... want to join?"

"Maybe next time." He was so adorable relaxed and sleepy as he was that I didn't push.

When I finished putting back my clothes he was already sleeping and I made my best effort to leave silently. But only after I took his most absolutely handsome body in; he was gorgeous even with so many scars.

The atmosphere was awkward as I passed the others in the main room. I was sure they knew what I had done. I felt strange, but it wasn't guilt. While I showered I couldn't help thinking about what my action would mean for the challenge. Would it be over? Afterall, if it was about my virginity it was no longer a thing.

"It was never about your virginity and you know it." Alucard said in my head. "However I do regret not being the first."

"That's your fault. Your challenge kept me away."

"Are you that sure?"

"I guess."

"Then why didn't you choose me?"

"Because I can't choose one! But I'm sure it would have happened!"

"That is true."

"Why didn't you interrupt us?"

"He wasn't part of the challenge."

"What happens with the challenge now?"

"It continues."

"What? Why?"

"Because you still have to choose."

"But I can't! Your terms aren't fair!"

"They're fair."

"Doesn't it bother you that I did it with Iorveth?"

"I knew it would happen eventually."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"I'm not happy about it."

"Why don't you call off the challenge so I can be with you?"

"The challenge remains. You can make me feel better when you choose me."

"But I can't choose!"

"Then you will never touch us again."

"So not fair."

"Isn't the squirrel enough for you?"

"Argh. You know the answer."

He laughed. "You should know, your sounds echoed through the entire house and left everyone wanting."

God, that was embarrassing. "Wait, everyone?"

He just laughed and refused to answer any more questions.

When I returned to the main room the air was still tense. I didn't know how to behave or if I should even say anything. I sat on the sofa, keeping some distance from Fenris. Had it affected even him? What did that mean for me?

"Too bad the challenge stands." Zevran said, breaking the silence. "After hearing such-"

"Zevran, stop it." The Admiral said.

"But I'm just-"

"It's unnecessary."

"I'm-" I almost bit my tongue as everyone looked at me. "I'm... not going to apologize for what I did because I love him. I do apologize you had to hear it."

"That wasn't your fault." Fenris, out of everyone, spoke. "The vampire did something so we would hear it no matter where we went."

"What? What the _hell_ , Alucard?!" I shouted although it wasn't needed, he could hear my thoughts after all.

If I didn't know better I would say that was the Cheshire cat, but I knew the huge floating and smiling mouth belonged to Alucard.

"It's said pornography is one of the oldest form of entertainment, and that, little witch, is something we don't have much in this place."

"That was supposed to be private!"

"Well, I would hear either way. I just thought I'd do my fair friends a good service and share."

"Not a good service at all." Solas said.

"Oh? You were just as excited as everyone about the delightful music she sang."

"Bastard."

Alucard laughed. "Not quite, I was a legitimate child."

"You're so unfair." I said.

"Am I? Here I thought I was doing everyone a favor by giving them a sample of what they'd have if they let you love them."

"Urgh." I squirmed in the sofa. That was mortifying. "Did you broadcast everything?"

"Yes."

"I knew those flowers meant something." Zevran said after a while of silence. "Sneaky elf. Keeping his distance, saying he isn't interested, and he gets you first."

"It really surprised me." I ended up saying. "But it's Alucard's fault Iorveth was first."

"Don't we know..." The murderous glare he gave Cheshire-Alucard chilled my spine. I had never seen that look on him and for the first time I saw Zevran as a cold-blooded killer. "End this damn challenge, Alucard."

"No. And you're scaring the lady."

"Oh, I'm sorry mi cara, that was not my intention."

"It's alright, sometimes I want to kill him too."

"And it's always a delight." Alucard said.

"Doesn't anything affect you?" The Admiral asked.

"Who knows?" The vampire then completely showed himself and the deformed mouth attached wrongly to his face. It was nightmarish as he made it go back to normal. "I'll go for my exploration since I don't mind the rain. Enjoy yourselves." And he disappeared into the floor.

"How can you love that?" Fenris asked with clear disgust.

"I... can't explain. I just do."

"So, Bethany..." Zevran said, "care to choose so we can end this torture?"

"I... I'm sorry, I can't pick one like that. It has to be natural or he won't accept it."

The sound of footsteps took my attention to the stairs, where Iorveth was descending. I blushed as I remembered everything we did and the fact everyone heard.

"The man of the hour." Zevran said, but the only reaction that got him was a raised eyebrow.

"Let him be." Thane said.

"No, he lied and he'll have to answer for it." That made Iorveth stop in his tracks.

"I lied?" The Scoiatel asked.

"You said you didn't want her, that the flower seeds weren't romantic. You lied, you took her to your bed."

The black-haired elf looked at me with something that looked like shock. We never said it should be kept a secret, but I definitely couldn't have him thinking I told everyone what we had done. I was not that kind of person.

"Alucard... made everyone hear us..."

"No, just you." Zevran said.

"What?"

"We only heard you."

Iorveth sighed. "Why does it not surprise me?"

"Because he's an egotistical son of a bitch." The Admiral said, surprising me.

"I'm taking a shower." Was all Iorveth said before disappearing into the bathroom.

"He's going to ignore me?" Zevran seemed annoyed.

"I'm sure he just did." Fenris said.

"Just let him be." Thane said again. "You can't blame him for wanting her."

"That's not why I'm angry."

"Zevran," I said, "let's not argue. Don't ruin this."

The assassin looked shocked, then ashamed. "I'm sorry, Bethany, of course. I just..."

"It's alright."

"So we have one more staying?" The Admiral asked.

"He's not staying." That shocked them all.

"But... then..." Zevran stuttered.

"I know. But that challenge changed how I see things."

"Damned vampire and his challenge." Zevran said.

"You're so angry now, but you were quite ready to go with him earlier." Thane said, reminding me of something I'd rather not.

"That-"

"Is enough." Evfra interrupted. "I'm tired of this conflict of interests. Bethany is an adult, she can do whatever she wants. We had to listen in against our will, but that isn't her fault and I can't stand this talk anymore."

"Evfra is right." Hackett said. "Dinner should be ready soon, let's end this here and set the table."

Dinner happened in silence. It was extremely awkward and I didn't know what I could do to make it better. I didn't know if Alucard really believed he was making us a favor by forcing them to hear me and I had no clue if it had been a good thing, but I couldn't believe it had. Not when everyone was that tense. Iorveth was the only calm one.

I went to bed alone, but knowing everyone had heard me was what kept me awake for hours. How would things be from that point on? Would Iorveth be closer to me? How would the others treat me?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did that surprise you? I didn't actually see that coming... I tried backtracking but I decided to go with it and see what sort of mess it'll cause.  
> Yeah... I took some liberty with his body =x Couldn't help it! And to be honest, considering how low their birthrate is it would actually help them if they had it lol


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions. A lot of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it :)

The alarm rang, making me jump from the bed with the surprise. It took me half an annoying minute to find the cursed thing and I turned it off with relief. Taking a moment to calm down, it was only after my heartbeat normalized that I realized I had a clock.

And it was six in the morning.

I was horribly sleepy because once again I had trouble sleeping, but it was no longer raining and I could finally work on the garden. My responsibility had to come first so I pushed myself and instead of going back to bed I changed clothes. If it became unbearable I could take a nap after everything was taken care of.

I wondered why I was given a clock, however. As much as I had been complaining about the lack of one I had not asked for one. Did this count as a wish granted? Would I have to pay for it?

There wasn't anyone in the kitchen so I took it as my chance to finally make breakfast again. And I decided to bake a cake. Considering we had plenty of carrots because the Admiral didn't like them, I would turn them into something he would enjoy.

I was half done preparing the batter when Thane showed up. My first instinct was to hug him and kiss him good morning, but my feet stuck to the floor. I should have known before looking that I would see something terrible, but I had forgotten and because of it I was startled to see that black mass full of eyes.

"Gods!" Thane said in surprise or disgust, probably both.

"Let me go, Alucard, I won't touch him." It seemed reluctant, but the thing disappeared and freed my feet. "Damn this challenge. Well, good morning, Thane. I'd hug you, but you just saw how that went."

"He really follows through with his threats..." He was still looking at my feet and I supposed he was taking in the situation.

"First time you see his powers?" I asked and he nodded. "He can make some really horrifying things, that wasn't the worst."

"I don't want to imagine what could be worse."

"Yeah, it's better if you don't. Hey, have you eaten carrot cake?"

"I don't believe I have." He approached. "Is that what it is?"

"Yes. Hackett doesn't like carrots in his food, but he likes the cake, so I decided to make it."

"What is your favorite food?"

That surprised me. "Mine?"

"Yes. You're always trying to please us, but I don't think any of us knows what you like."

Maybe Alucard did, considering he could be in my head. "I... well, for salty I prefer breaded shrimps with french fries. And for desserts my favorite is ice cream."

"None of which we have."

I shrugged and poured the batter into the pans. "It's fine. I might not have my favorite food, but I have the loves of my life and I wouldn't change this for anything."

"Bethany-"

"Good morning!" Zevran said quite happily as he entered the kitchen, interrupting the drell.

"Good morning, Zevran." I said with a smile. "I see you're no longer angry."

"Yes, well, I could stay angry forever, but it benefits nobody."

"I'm glad you see that. What were you angry with by the way?"

"That..." He sighed. "Alucard took away one of the things I was most looking forward to..." He hesitated. "I wanted to hear you when we made love, not before, and definitely not with someone else when I'm not part of the fun."

"Oh."

"That was... an awkward experience." Thane said.

Silence stretched for a while and I busied myself with cleaning. Thane promptly helped me without a word while Zevran fidgeted with his shirt. I had never seen him so uncomfortable before. I couldn't help because I didn't know how.

"Are you happy, Bethany?" Thane broke the silence and surprised me with his question. Was I happy?

"Of course I am. Why are you asking?"

"The few times I saw you struggling Iorveth had been involved. You made it clear you wanted your first time with someone who loved you and would stay, but he is leaving. I'm just worried you might be... well... hurting because of it."

"Oh. Well, actually I'm good. And I don't feel much different than I was before, and that's awkward, but not what you're asking." I took a deep breath, trying to find a way to say it, but there wasn't really another way to put it. "I... I won't lie. It saddens me that he will leave, but I don't regret last night. I... you see... I can't ask him to choose between me and his people. And... Alucard's stupid challenge showed me that I should make the best of the time I have with all of you; and specially the ones who won't stay, because well... my time is limited with them. It might not have followed the script I had for my first time, but I'm happy."

"That is all that matters." He said with a smile. I looked at Zevran and he seemed thoughtful, but I didn't want to pry. "Time is a precious thing, you are right in cherishing the good moments and seizing opportunities."

Of course he would know that better than anyone. It must have been awful to know he was going to die and had limited time with his loved ones. "God, how I wish I could hug you, Thane."

"Hopefully you will soon, no matter who you choose."

I whimpered as I put the towel down, having dried my hands after washing everything. "I don't want to choose. Choosing is silly because I want everyone."

"Just give him a name and end this." Zevran said.

"I can't. I tried it as soon as I heard about it, he didn't accept it. It has to be... natural." I sighed. "Stupid thing."

"I... I'm sure you will find a way." The drell said.

"A way for what?" Hackett asked as he entered the kitchen.

"To ending the challenge quickly." I said.

"Oh. That would be good." He looked at the oven. "I see you started breakfast."

"Yes." I said with a smile. "I hope you like it; it's carrot cake."

His surprise was adorable. "I haven't had it in years. I can't wait."

"Hopefully this recipe will be as good as the ones you've had."

"I'm sure it will be delicious." He smiled and I found myself falling in love with him again. Seeing his smile warmed my heart in ways few things did; it simply made me feel like I was in front of a marvel deserving of protecting, a precious thing that made my heart sing. At that moment I understood perfectly what Jaal meant.

"I can't." Zevran said just before turning around and leaving the room.

"What?" I asked. "What happened?"

"He... well, I think you should talk to him, alone." Thane said.

"Do you think now is a good time?"

"Yes. It might be better to clear it as soon as possible."

"Well, oven's on timer. I'll see if I can find him."

"Good luck, Bethany." Hackett said. "And... be careful how you talk to him."

"Will be." What did the men know that I didn't?

 

I passed by Fenris and Evfra in the main room and the angara told me Zevran had walked outside; quite upset, he added when I thanked him for the information. It worried me that the assassin would be so distressed because I didn't know what could be the reason and what I could do to help.

I found him sitting on one of the rocks by the river. The day was bright and clear, the wind still cold probably because of the rainy days. I approached him calmly but not quietly; I didn't want to risk startling him.

"Why did you follow me?" He asked without looking at me, still facing the water.

I stood beside him, a few steps away on the grass. "I'm worried. What is bothering you?"

"A simpler question would be what is not." He chuckled, but I noticed his pain and it hurt me. What was happening to my lovely man and how could I fix it?

I wanted to ask if he was jealous, but I remembered the Admiral's words about being careful. "Talk to me. You can tell me anything."

He took a deep breath. "You know my story, yes?"

"Some of it."

"About... Rinna."

"Yes."

"I told you I couldn't stay with the Warden, but I didn't say why. But... you know, don't you?"

"Because of what happened to Rinna. You were afraid something bad would happen again, that it would hurt again. Am I right?"

"Yes, and no. I wanted to love her, I trusted her, but it was too fresh. The wound was open and we could all die in that Blight." He sighed. "Being with her was good, there was no pain, but I couldn't be hurt again. I couldn't risk it."

"I understand."

"Do you?"

"I... I never trusted anyone before this. And... well... it wasn't easy loving people I thought didn't exist. It was similar to loving dead people, I guess." He shook almost imperceptibly, but I was watching him closely; that was probably a bad thing I said. "And I've watched and played through many tragic stories."

"I don't know. Maybe you do understand. You asked what bothers me; it's not being able to do what I want, not knowing things, hurting again." He closed his hands into fists. "I may joke and play, but..." A deep breath, "I'm not made of stone. As much as the Crows tried it, my heart is not dead."

I was heartbroken. He was definitely hurting and he was being open with me, letting his vulnerability show. That meant he trusted me.

"And that makes you so special to me." The emotion changed my voice and he looked at me with wide eyes.

"Oh mi amor, don't be sad."

Amor. He changed his term of endearment for me. Love. Tears I didn't want to shed came out anyway, but my feelings were a mess. Sadness because he was suffering mixed with happiness because he really cared about me, possibly loved me.

He raised from the rock and walked my way, his hands moved to touch me, but he stopped halfway and I could see his conflict right before he lowered his arms. He couldn't touch me, not unless I touched him first and to touch him I had to choose him.

"I'm so sorry you're hurting, Zevran. I'm so sorry." My throat was hurting because of the suppressed crying.

"I didn't want to make you cry, Bethany. Please don't cry, mi amor."

"I'm not," a traitorous sob, "crying. What's hurting you? Is it because I made love with Iorveth?"

"What? No, I mean, a little, but..." His hands twitched as he held back. "I... it's difficult, staying near you, wanting you, seeing you want me and having to stay away. You... laid with him who isn't staying after denying me because you thought I wouldn't stay, seeing your love for the others... and I can't do anything."

"Oh Zevran." I couldn't hold it back anymore, the crying started in full force. "Come here." And in my head I told Alucard to let me touch him, because I couldn't let him suffer like that.

"But-"

I hugged him and the relief I felt for not having been stopped made me hug him even tighter. "I'm so sorry. I want you to be happy, not hurting." I kissed his cheek and he finally wrapped his arms around me. It felt so good to be in his embrace again. "I love you, Zevran, please believe me."

He held me so tight I couldn't feel anything else but him and my crying didn't stop. My mixed feelings received another companion: elation for being with him again. His lips touched my ear as he spoke to me. "I never doubted your feelings, mi amor." His voice trembled and I wondered if he would cry too. "Shh don't cry anymore. It's alright, I'm okay."

"But you're hurting and I-" a sob, "I don't want you to. How can I help, Zevran?"

"You already did. Being in your arms again is good."

"Oh, I'm glad." I laid my head on the crook of his neck. How I missed his scent. It calmed me enough and the crying was stopping. "I'm sorry I rejected you before, I wasn't ready."

"I know, mi amor, I know." His hand was caressing my hair and it was so comforting. "It hurt, but I know. I'm just a physical man, you know that, yes?"

"Yes. Do you forgive me?"

"Forgive you? For what?"

"For hurting you."

"Oh my sweet thing, there's nothing to forgive."

"But you just said-"

"I was hurting, yes, and even though you were the reason I know you didn't mean to cause any pain."

"Still, it's my fault."

"If we're going to lay blame I'd say Alucard is more guilty."

"Oh, am I?" The vampire appeared from the grass right beside us. "Very well then." And some force broke me and Zevran apart. When I realized it, there were black tendrils between us.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"Here I was, allowing you two to comfort each other and stop this misery and you blame me for it?"

"You allowed it?" Zevran asked and Alucard nodded. "I thought the challenge was finally over."

"No. I just couldn't stand so much sadness, there's nothing entertaining in that kind of misery."

"Right." Zevran took a deep breath. "Still, even though it's your fault for starting this-"

"You agreed." Alucard said quite seriously. "You and the others agreed. This challenge was never some imposition on my part."

"Because nothing else would be fair ground."

"But it's an agreement nonetheless." He looked at me then. "If you weren't so loving and indecisive this could have been over quickly."

"But it was never your intention to have it over quickly, was it? Because you know me better than anyone here. You knew I couldn't choose."

"I had my suspicions. As much as I can be in your head I cannot be in your heart."

"How poetic." Zevran sounded bored. "Alucard, tell me honestly; do you even care?"

The vampire stared at the elf for a couple of seconds before sighing. "Yes."

"Then why continue the challenge when you know it's hurting her?"

"Because I don't go back on a deal. Don't misunderstand things only because of this exception."

Zevran took a deep breath. "Fine. The challenge stands then..." A sigh."Why did you expose her to all of us last night if you care? I can't believe you were serious."

"I was. I meant what I said. Although the term pornography might have been too strong; it was, after all, a moment of love, wasn't it?" He looked at me.

I still felt uncomfortable with the subject. I couldn't imagine what the men thought about me. My only answer was a nod.

"Aren't you angry he did it?" Zevran asked.

"Angry?" I thought for a couple of seconds. "No, I... I was never angry. Shocked at first, embarrassed, confused, then worried."

"Worried? About what?"

"About what you all would think of me. How you would treat me."

Zevran frowned. "Did you think we would think badly of you?"

"It was a possibility."

He shook his head. "No. We were uncomfortable because that was not something on which we were supposed to listen in. We were angry he was forcing us into that situation, but we never thought badly of you."

"You're sure? All of you?"

"Yes. We said you wouldn't like what he was doing, that he would hurt you and asked him to stop it. Well, we thought he would hurt you. I don't understand how you're fine with it."

Alucard had a smug smile on his face, but I chose to ignore it. "I... well, I... trust and love all of you, so... I was embarrassed, but also comfortable that it had been you all who heard it. And eh... to be honest, I was curious if it would, well, make you guys more interested in me. If it would... well... tempt you." My gaze was slowly moving away from their faces and by that point I was looking at my feet.

Zevran's laugh surprised me and I looked at his face; he was really laughing and had no trace of that anger or sadness left there. It made me lighter, but confused. "You, mi amor, are one naughty girl."

I chuckled a bit shyly. "Is that why you're laughing?"

"Yes. It makes me a bit relieved that you can be naughty like that, but I should have expected it after you said you wanted all of us and had that massive bed."

"That bed is too big and empty..." I sighed, thinking that I'd have to sleep alone again.

"Now that all is settled, I'm going to leave this horrid sunlight. It may not kill me, but I do hate it."

"Not so fast, Alucard." I said and looked at him seriously. "Thank you." That surprised him. "For letting me comfort him even if it was against your rules. It... means a lot to me."

"You're welcome, little witch. Now, by your leave?"

I chuckled. He didn't need my leave to go anywhere. "Of course, Alucard. Go back to the shade."

He tipped his hat and melted into the grass. I sighed wistfully. Despite it all I loved that vampire.

"You're really more worried that we would think poorly of you?"

"Yes."

"Tsc tsc. How could we when it wasn't even your doing?" Well, he had a point.

"I'm just glad nobody has avoided me so far. But tell me, are you okay? I really don't want you to hurt. If there's anything I can do..."

"I'm better now. I think I needed to talk about it. But if you want me really happy you could, you know, choose me. We could undress right here and continue from where we stopped that day."

"Tempting." I smiled, knowing he was only partially joking. "But I don't know how to choose in a manner that he would accept. Because as much as I do want to hug you again and kiss you and discover how it is to be one with you, I want it with the others just as much. I..." He was so attentive it made me afraid of messing it up. "I love you, and I love the others too. Without the challenge I would probably have been with the four of you by now, but I can't touch you." The tendrils disappeared. "Give me your hand, if it works I'll throw myself in your arms faster than you could say love." I held my hand out for him, hoping nothing would pop and keep us apart. He didn't seem afraid of discovering what would happen and promptly approached his hand. Before we could touch several spiders crawled out from the center of my palm, which caused me to scream and wave my hand violently so they'd leave.

By the time I calmed down all the men were outside the house and coming at me in different speeds. Well, all but the culprit.

"How many times will I have to interrupt before you accept the terms?" Alucard said in my head and I couldn't even give him an answer. I was completely terrified of spiders and my heart was still beating fast and everything seemed hazy. "Are you well?" I still couldn't respond. I thought I would faint when everything went dark, but then I was no longer by the river surrounded by men, I was in the house looking at a clearly worried vampire. Still, I couldn't speak. "Bethany?" He said with his mouth. When I still didn't speak and my legs weakened he picked me up in his arms and put me on his bed. "Little witch?" He knelt at the side of the bed as I just stared at him, trying not to think about how it felt to have the tiny creatures on my hand. "Damnation. I apologize, I didn't know your phobia was this severe." I couldn't spare any effort, I had to keep away the memory of the spiders so I remained silent.

He watched me and for the first time since he awoke here I saw him afraid. I didn't know why or what he was afraid of and I couldn't think about it then, but it surprised and worried me. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and rubbed his palm against mine. It was so surprising that I couldn't think about the animals anymore and I noticed he had no gloves. Had he always worn no gloves here?

"Bethany, speak to me, curse me, anything."

I shook. My entire body trembled and I started crying again. I couldn't believe I had spiders on my hand. Walking on my skin. All those hairy tiny legs with multiple eyes. Before I realized it I was in his arms again, this time I was on his lap as he rocked me as a child, whispering words to calm me down. I couldn't believe that was the same Alucard who had just used my fear against me. He was taking care of me, again. And it felt so good.

My hand found his cheek as tears of relief rolled down mine. He startled but then held me tight. Too tight, I had problems to breathe, but he loosed it soon enough.

"Aren't you breaking the challenge?" I asked as I found my voice. He laid his forehead on my shoulder and took a deep breath.

"I thought I had gone too far and lost you."

"Well, I think you almost did. I... think I almost lost my mind there."

"Forgive me."

"Of course. Just don't do it again."

"I won't."

"How did I get here? It's your room, right?"

"I used my powers on you. I had to fix my mistake as soon as I could."

"Thank you for saving me, even if it was your fault."

"Always."

We stayed like that in silence for a while and it reminded me of the times he comforted me to sleep. My chest warmed as I thought about how caring he could be. He was mean and had an awful sense of humor, but he also cared. He definitely had a heart and it was a heart capable of feeling good things.

My fingers coursed through his hair and I loved how smooth it was. I felt him relax as I continued to caress him. "I love you, Alucard. I really do. All of you, the way you are, I wouldn't change anything."

He trembled as he inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. Could this man cry? I didn't want him to, even if it was for a good reason. There had been too much crying already. So I hugged him and planted a kiss on the side of his head which was still against my shoulder.

"I'm happy you're here." I said before laying my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. "Don't ever leave, please." His scent made my mind focus on him even better. It was such a good scent.

"I won't."

I knew he would stay, still, it made me really happy to hear it again.

At some point I relaxed so much I fell asleep and considering how sleepy I had been from the start it wasn't surprising.

 

I woke up in my bed, alone. Had it all been a dream? No, I was wearing the dress I had chosen for the day.

Walking to the windows I could only think about how crazy the morning had been. So many events and feelings. I opened the curtains so I could peek outside and it was past noon. Then I remembered that I had a clock and went for it. Two and twenty-three in the afternoon. I had lost most of the day. It was probably better if I didn't plant anything now, but I should go take care of weeds--two days of rain surely would have sprouted weeds--and see if the garden needed anything else.

As soon as I left my room I saw one of the men; my heartbeat spiked immediately at the sight of Iorveth. How was I supposed to behave around him? Melting me instantly, he smiled at me.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked as he walked towards me.

"Better?" I felt silly and had no idea what he was talking about.

"Yes. The vampire said you went into shock because of spiders." He stood right in front of me. "Me and the others were startled by your screams, we thought you were being attacked, but you were gone when we reached Zevran."

"Ah. That bit is a little fuzzy and honestly I'd rather not remember. But yeah, I feel better. I got some good sleep too; I needed it."

"About that; haven't you been sleeping well? You have dark circles under your eyes."

I sighed. "Not since the challenge began. Too many things have been bothering me and sleeping alone after getting used to having company is awful."

"You did say you missed Thane, but it seems to be making you weak being without him."

"I... I've spent years thinking none of you were real, that my love for you all would be just that, mine alone. Still, I loved you. When I awoke here I was the happiest, even when some tension rose, because I had all of you here, you were all real and some were even willing to let me touch them. When the others told me they wanted to be with me it was the happiest day of my life." I smiled. "My love wouldn't just be mine anymore, I could love them freely, try to make them happy, be loved by them. And... and then part of it crumbled with the challenge. It's been hard not being able to touch them."

"Touching sounds important to you."

"It is. How am I going to say this? Ah, you see, for years I could only see representations of who you all were, how other people saw you or wanted others to see you. Being able to touch you here... connects me with who you truly are, gives me certainty that you're real and not someone's creation, that it's not a dream."

"I see. It's your anchor."

I smiled. "That's it. And I lost that."

He surprised me by offering his hand. "Touch me. I'll be your anchor while I'm here."

I took his hand and he closed his fingers around mine, it was warm and comforting. I could barely believe his offer and my chest heated up. If I didn't control myself I would cry of happiness; it would seem I was over emotional lately.

"Thank you." I managed to say almost as a whisper. His other hand touched my shoulder and took my gaze away from our linked hands to his face. He looked so calm and gentle. The more I stayed around him the more sides of him I saw and it was amazing, if a little overwhelming.

"You're welcome. Now, were you going somewhere?"

"Ah, yes. I have to work on the garden."

He looked thoughtful for a second. "Have you even eaten today?"

Oh. I wasn't really hungry so I forgot. "No. There wasn't time." I chuckled nervously.

"Then eat something before you work, I'd hate to see you collapse."

"Sure. Yes, you're right. Will you come with me?"

"Hm. I was going for a nap, but I can do it afterwards. Let's go." He tugged my hand and we walked downstairs, still holding hands. It made me feel like we were a couple and filled me with elation.

Fenris was sitting on the couch with a book in hands, but I didn't miss his surprise when he noticed us. I greeted him and followed Iorveth to the kitchen.

The cake had been cut and it had been a successful recipe despite the mess during the morning; fluffy, juicy and full of flavor. I didn't want to eat lunch or I wouldn't be able to eat dinner; it was too late by then and I could never eat much food.

While I ate, Iorveth's hands held my waist and it was awfully distracting. But oh, it was so good.

"You know," I said as I put the cake back into the unlit oven, "it's such a good surprise to be here with you like this."

"A surprise?"

"Because after you told me you would leave and would not reciprocate my feelings I thought something like this would never happen." I turned to face him. "And last night? An impossible dream come true."

He hummed and pulled me closer, our hips and legs touching and a small distance between our faces. That made my heart beat so fast I could hear it. "You're too honest."

"Is that a problem?" My voice was a bit shaky with the nervousness.

"Only in the sense that it makes me admire you more."

"Well, why is that a problem?"

"Because it makes it harder to resist."

"Why resist at all?"

He kissed me. I took my hands to his hair, but found his bandanna in the way. If I had more courage I would have removed it, but I didn't have enough confidence with him to dare. Instead I held his cheek and neck. His kiss, just like the night before, was intense and set me on fire while making my legs go weak.

Thinking back on it I wonder if that had always been his way or if he was hungry for affection. But back then my mind was blank, there were only me and him in an amazing kiss.

He parted and his expression branded in me my love for him. There was no way I would ever forget him or stop loving him. His eyes looked deep into my soul and I had never felt that level of connection before. I was his, even if he left I would be forever his, because he was mine. Somehow I felt him inside me, in my heart. It felt like a trance of some sort, it was only him and me in the world, our eyes looking into each other; and I felt his care, his love. My love for him had to be just as clear.

How had it developed I didn't know. But I was happy that it had. If only he would stay forever. If only he could be selfish.

The trance broke and I was pulled into a hug. It was powerful and I could only hug him back and feel all that was overflowing between us. I don't know how long we stayed like that, time didn't matter. Only us mattered.

"You should go if you still want to work on the garden today." He said into my hair before planting a kiss.

"You're right."

Still, we didn't part. It was only when Solas entered the room that we did.

"I'm sorry to interrupt." Solas said as he went for the cupboard. "I only came for water."

"It's fine, Solas." I said. "I'll go to the garden now." I went on my tiptoes and gave Iorveth a chaste kiss. He just smiled.

 

The garden was indeed full of weeds; I would have a lot of work. Thankfully, the sun was never strong in that place. The orchard was also growing well, the trees were about twenty centimeters tall already. I loved how quickly plants grew.

It was already twilight when I finished everything and I wanted a shower. I wanted it so much that I didn't go back to my room to get clothes first. And I didn't care if another accident happened; some had already seen me naked, they had already heard me in my most private moment, even if I lost the towel again I doubted it would matter.

One thing was bugging me, however; Alucard was being too quiet. After what happened I expected him to come and talk. But even as I reached for him in my mind during shower he didn't answer.

After I put on a clean dress I went to his bedroom, when he didn't answer I tried the doorknob and it opened, but the place was empty. Where was he and why was he avoiding me?

 

Downstairs I found everyone sitting in the couches; well, everyone but the vampire. "Good evening, guys."

"Good evening, Bethany." The Admiral said. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit tired after cleaning the garden." I answered as I sat beside him, careful not to touch him.

"I would offer a massage, but I don't want another incident as the one in the morning." Zevran said.

"Talking about the incident, where is Alucard?" I asked.

"Who knows? He could be anywhere." Evfra said. "After he explained what happened to you he disappeared."

"Odd."

"Well, he is odd." Hackett said.

"No, he is... peculiar. And disappearing like this is unlike him. He isn't talking to me, even in my head."

"I'm sure he is fine." Iorveth said. "I doubt anything here could harm him."

"That's not what worries me, if he is ignoring me it's because I did something wrong, isn't it?"

"Not necessarily." Solas said. "He might be taking a time to think."

"I hope it's nothing bad."

"I will never understand you." Fenris said. "He does terrible things and you still love him, still worries about him and even think you are the one in the wrong if he ignores you."

"Ah... yeah, I guess it does look strange. But..." I took a deep breath, "he is thrilling. And when I'm with him... it... it's perfect. He understands me, I know he pushes me to my limits and likes to play using that terrible sense of his, but... but he is one of a kind and it might not look it, but he cares. He... he likes people to think he doesn't, but I know he does. I can see it and I can feel it."

Fenris was skeptical, probably thought I was crazy, delusional. But that was how it was; I loved Alucard and I was worried his old mind was trying to convince him to do something bad. He was so used to it.

"Well, you should know they'll leave tomorrow if it doesn't rain." The Admiral said.

"Well, I thought I wouldn't find them here today since it wasn't raining. Why did you stay in?"

"Because some of the terrain is bad to walk if wet." Iorveth said. "It was better to wait for it to dry a full day."

"Oh, I see. Well, I'll miss having all of you here. Again."

"You'll have Hackett." Zevran said.

"But-" I was going to protest, saying that I cared about them all and wanted all of them with me, but I was interrupted.

"And they won't be returning at the end of the day." Hackett said.

"Why?"

"Remember they would have to investigate farther? It starts tomorrow."

"Ah." It saddened me to know I would be days without them. "Yes, I remember. It sucks." I sighed. "Just... please be careful. Don't fall in any more holes or whatever that place was."

"I'm sure we'll be careful, mi amor." I noticed the surprise in Evfra's face at Zevran's words. Solas also reacted with some level of surprise.

"Love uh?" Fenris said with a smirk.

"What?"

"You're calling her love now."

"Ah, yes. She is lovely and I just couldn't resist anymore."

"I guess it's just me and the Dread Wolf who still haven't fallen for her."

What? That would mean Evfra... I looked at the angara, but he showed no reaction, positive or otherwise.

"And I don't know how you can resist her."

"Easy, I don't trust her." That didn't surprise me.

"As long as he doesn't hate me it's alright." I said. "So... who wants to help make dinner?"

"I'll help." Thane said. And only him.

"Huh, strange, but it seems it will be just the two of us in the kitchen tonight." I said as I left the couch.

"I want to discuss some things with them, otherwise I'd join you." Hackett said.

"It's not a problem, it's just unusual." I gave him a smile. "Let's go, Thane."

 

In the kitchen I could hear the others talk, but not understand them. They were likely close to whispering.

"So... suggestions for food?" I asked.

"Actually, yes. I've been reading some of the recipe books and there are a few I'm curious about."

"Sure, if we have the ingredients we'll make it. Do you have the book?"

"It'll take only a minute to get it."

"Sure, I'll wait." And I took the moment to see if we could have juice. It wasn't really something good to have while rationing food, but they would be away for a few days and I thought we could afford a good meal.

Thane was curious about some Indian food which required quite a lot of vegetables. We had those, but not all of the spices. Still, we made it. And it smelled really nice. I couldn't wait to eat it.

We didn't talk much during the cooking, but I noticed he was tense, thoughtful. Before we went to ready the table I asked him to wait. "What is troubling you?"

"Ah. It's nothing to concern yourself with."

"Of course it is if you're worrying about it. You can tell me anything."

He sighed. "Tomorrow we leave; and... and I..." He sighed again. "I wanted to spend the night with you, like we used to. I'll miss you in the days to come."

I wasn't expecting that. "I want that too, but... even if we share the bed we can't touch."

"I... I would like to. It will be hard not to touch you; I miss holding you- your hand, but if you don't want to I understand."

"I know you held much more than my hand." I said with a smile and his surprise was adorable. "I woke up once during the night and you were spooning me."

"You didn't say anything."

"I thought it was instinct or something involuntary."

"Partially."

"I miss that."

He smiled and I swooned. "As do I. I wish I could touch you."

"Does... does your kiss really cause hallucination in humans?"

That surprised him. "Ah, yes. There is antidote, but I don't think you have it here."

"I don't think I would want antidote. I would want the full experience with you."

"I'm not sure that is advisable, Bethany."

"If we don't have antidotes there is no other choice."

"That is true. But unless the challenge is over it doesn't matter."

I sighed. "True. I was excited there for a minute. Well, let's ready the table."

 

During dinner we talked about preparations for their trip, but they had already taken care of most things, including the tools in the shed. They had cookies and water to last the entire quest and extra clothes in case something happened. Each would also take a knife for multiple purposes. I wish I could go with them, but I understood their wish to protect me.

As the men went to sleep, Iorveth gave me a good night kiss and went to his room. I wanted to sleep surrounded by my loves and I couldn't. At least I would have Thane again, even if I had to keep some distance. And the safest place for that was my bed; his was big, but mine was huge.

"If only I could cross this distance." I said as I watched him laying beside me with an arm of distance between us.

"I would like it very much."

A knock on the door surprised me. Leaving the comfort of my covers, I went to answer. Zevran.

"Would you mind if I joined?"

"Oh. Well, I'd love it, but what about you, Thane? Do you mind?"

"The bed is big enough."

"Come join us then." I said with a smile. "Just remember, no touching."

"I know. Can't do anything fun."

I went back to the bed, lying in the very middle now and Zevran joined soon after. Thane was on my right and the elf on my left, each an arm away.

"It's my first time in a bed with someone I can't touch." Zevran said.

"You know, this is quite maddening." I said. My body was killing me to have some form of contact with them.

"I thought it would be easier." Thane said.

"I knew it would be hard, but not this much. Still, I don't want you two to leave."

"I don't want to go." They said in unison and I chuckled despite the tension.

"Do you really love me, Zevran?" I asked after a moment of silent unrest. Neither of us could stop moving a limb or fiddling with pajamas.

"I do, mi amor."

"It's so good to hear you say it." I took a deep breath. "I love the both of you. Forever. Just... just know that."

"I know." They said.

I couldn't ask Thane the same question, I didn't want to put any pressure on him, but I was curious about what he felt for me. He wanted to stay, he wanted to touch me, what did it mean?

"Since you can't choose one, can't you just have an orgy with the four of us?" I choked. "Oh no, I'm sorry." They sat up when I did, but none touched me. Thankfully the coughing ceased quickly. I didn't want to find out what Alucard would do if they touched me at that moment.

"I know it's hard to stay away," a last cough insisted in bothering, "but a five-people orgy, Zevran?" What would that be? Fivesome? Was it something that even had a name?

"I had to try. And it's what this bed is for, isn't it?"

"Beds are mainly for sleeping."

"Only if you are alone."

"Even though the idea is appealing, I don't want to discover you all at the same time." How could I give them the attention they deserved? They wouldn't be comfortable enough and I doubt I would either.

"It would solve the problem though. And you could have us as much as you wanted, individually, afterwards. Would you agree, Thane?"

"Ah," he cleared his throat, "I'm not sure how I feel about the idea."

"And Hackett would never agree. Alucard probably would if everyone gave him blood though." I laid down again. As I relaxed they also returned to their positions. "But no... I don't think I could do it."

"It would be fun." The elf insisted.

"Have you had sex with five people?" Thane asked.

"Yes."

"How does it even work?"

"Ah, we made it work. Exchanging partners at the right time, using every body part possible to please many at the same time-"

"Stop it." I said. "Stop talking about sex when I can't do anything with any of you."

"It's tempting, yes? But you are correct, we shouldn't talk now. It only makes it more difficult to resist.” He sighed. “Since we can't touch we should sleep."

"Yes, sleep. You two have an early day tomorrow. Let's sleep."

"Good night, mi amor."

"Good night, Zevran. Good night, Thane."

"Good night, Bethany. You as well, Zevran."

"Good night, Thane. Just one last thing, do your people have sex just like the humans or-"

"Zevran!" I almost screamed.

"Alright, alright. I'll ask you in the morning, my friend."

"Yes, ask him in the morning."

They either faked it very well or they fell asleep quickly. I, on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about Zevran's idea. It was tempting, exciting and it would indeed solve the issue, if they agreed. Eventually sleep claimed me, but it took a long while.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting these chapters always make me crazy @_@


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adventures of Bethany and Hackett gardening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one came quick uh :)  
> I hope you like it!  
> Thank you everyone for the comments, it always makes my day to know you're enjoying what I write, gives me a boost to continue this journey <3

I awoke when Zevran and Thane left the bed. They insisted that I should stay and sleep, but I wanted to see everyone off. And I have to say, despite taking long to fall asleep and not having been able to touch them I slept better than those days by myself.

The men's breakfast was quick; they ate what was left of the cake and I just basked in their presence while I still could. Their clothes were nice and made them even more attractive; jeans and other thick cotton pants with button-up shirts in their signature colors. They were also carrying jackets with their bags; Zevran had the leather one I had given him.

As they prepared to leave my only thought was about their safety. I needed them to be safe and hoped there were no enemies or aggressive creatures in this place. And I really hoped the Summoner wouldn't harm them in order to remain hidden.

Out of six I could only touch one, so after I gave Iorveth a goodbye kiss I could do nothing other than tell them to take care and that I loved them all. Zevran and Thane looked pained despite their smile when telling me they'd be fine. Evfra was firm as usual and said I worried too much. Solas was his attentive but reserved self and Fenris seemed indifferent; I really didn't know how to get closer to him. It was sad to see them go, I couldn't imagine how I was going to bear staying days away from them.

"Come on, let us go inside." Hackett said. "Don't worry, they'll be fine. They are tough men."

"That they are." I said as I watched the spot where they had disappeared into the woods. "I think I'll work early on the garden and return to bed."

"Are you sure? It's still quite early."

He was right, the sun was barely on the sky, but if I worked now I wouldn't need to wake up with the alarm in one or two hours. And I needed to sleep for two very important reasons: I was sleepy and sleeping I wouldn't worry about the men.

Oddly enough, Hackett offered to help me with the garden. "I can't do much this time but wait, helping you gets me busy."

Of course I accepted his offer and I must say it was fun gardening with someone. The last time I had company it was my grandmother and I was a child. We talked about the plants, my plan for them and my composting system which was working well. I would probably have fertilizer the next week.

"Now I see why you like gardening." He said with a smile. "It's relaxing."

"It is, isn't it?" I was looking for a place to sow the rose seeds. It would be nice if they blossomed by the time Iorveth returned, it would be a nice welcome. I gave him a smile. "You're welcome to join me anytime."

"Maybe I will again. At least when I have nothing else to do."

"That's fair.

I thought that maybe I should build a trellis so I could have roses walls instead of bushes. Thinking that gave me the idea of making a pathway with them. But I needed wood.

"Admiral."

"Yes?"

"How good are you with wood collecting?"

"Survival training. Why?"

"I need wood to make trellises, do you think there are any fallen trees in that forest?"

"It's likely, especially after the storm, if not a tree probably branches."

I took a deep breath; it would be a lot of work. "Well, I'll go check my luck, do you want to join on this too?"

"I suppose I will. I couldn't let you roam into that forest alone in any case."

And that is how we found ourselves looking at a group of amazingly beautiful and magical elks. Their antlers were huge and elegantly shaped, the hide was such a soft brown that it reminded me of caramelized milk. But their eyes, those caught the most of my attention, they were crystal blue; the same blue speckled around their bodies and on their heads they formed beautiful patterns, as if someone had hand painted them. They noticed us, but didn't seem afraid at all.

They were five and were eating some berries on a large bush. One of them seemed particularly interested in us, watching us often, but didn't approach.

"Do you think we'll spook them if we move?" I whispered.

"I think it should be fine if we go slowly."

They didn't startle as we moved so I kept my eyes on them until I no longer could. I wondered if I would ever see them again and what other kind of animals existed in that place.

Once we returned with the wood he helped me measure and cut the parts, but by the time that was done I was too hungry to continue. I should have eaten something too.

We returned to the house and he insisted in preparing the sandwiches while I showered. That didn't make it any easier resisting him; he was too good to be true.

Hackett ate with me, talking about the animals, but as soon as we were done he went for a shower and I went back to bed. Maybe I could take a two-hour nap and be up for lunch.

  


When I awoke the only thing I wanted was to stay further in the comfort of my bed; the nap had helped little. But I had to get up, I had things to do.

I found the Admiral reading by the fireplace. "Have you ever felt like the sleep actually made things worse?"

He looked at me with sympathy, setting the book down on his lap. "Many times. But it helped, it may not feel like it, but the rest helped."

I squeezed my shoulder, trying to alleviate the soreness; walking back and forth carrying different sizes of wood and branches may not have been the brightest of my ideas, even though I needed them. "Are you sore?"

"No. But I'm used to exercising everyday." He looked annoyed then. "I would offer a massage, but-" He sighed.

"Thank you for the thought. And yes, it sucks horribly I can't have a massage. I could really use one." And where was Alucard so I could complain? "Anyway, what do you want for lunch, Admiral?"

"You know, I really like how you say Admiral. I don't think I have ever enjoyed being called by that rank so much."

"Not even when people you didn't like still had to treat you well?"

"That's a different kind of satisfaction and more often than not I preferred not to deal with them at all. But you- Bethany, things happened too fast and since our kiss there has been this challenge between us. It has given me time to think."

That scared me. "Yes?"

"Sit here, it's awkward to say this with you over there." I moved and my legs were weak, I wasn't sure if because of the activities earlier or out of anxiety. "Why are you nervous?"

I sat beside him, keeping some distance between us. "Ah, because I'm a bit afraid you'll say something bad."

"I suppose you'll have to judge that when I'm done." When I didn't say anything he continued. "When I awoke here I was confused, many things didn't make sense, but the way you were with me made me feel welcome, at home. I guess in the confusion I might have been too hasty. As I said, nobody has ever looked at me with such love before, that could have influenced me, my actions. Maybe Alucard wouldn't have created the challenge if I hadn't gotten involved then, but... the past can't be changed. I noticed the challenge changed you too, you're less impulsive now." He was so intense, I couldn't take my attention from him, even with butterflies in my stomach. "As much as I hate this challenge, it gave me time to think with a clear mind. I never really accepted the idea of sharing you, but after your... time with Iorveth I realized I had no other option if I chose this place for my life. And I can say with certainty that I want to stay with you. I want you, Bethany."

Relief is good, very good, my friends. I thought he would say something in the lines of 'I want you, but I shouldn't and I decided to leave.' That would have broken me.

He continued, "I envy him; Iorveth. He can touch you whenever you two want it."

"You said you didn't accept sharing me; was that true even when you said you'd stay?"

"Yes. I thought I could stand it enough, but in reality I hadn't accepted the idea, not truly. I wasn't comfortable with it at all."

"And you are now?"

"Yes." He sighed. "I suppose I have accepted since Iorveth. It sank in; if I want you then I have to accept it all, and sharing you is a part of it. Also, I want to see you happy and you are happy around them."

"So... no complaints?"

"Oh there are plenty of things I could complain about, but I... am ready to share you with the others now."

"That... makes me happy. I would hate it if you were feeling uncomfortable. What are your complaints though?"

"The challenge for one, the Summoner, I still don't know how I feel about living with a vampire in a house that works mysteriously, among other things you don't have to concern yourself with."

I wondered if I should tell him about Zevran's indecent proposal. It would solve one of his complaints if he accepted it. But I wasn't sure I wanted it either.

"Bethany?" He asked and seemed a bit worried. I suppose I was quiet for too long.

"Ah, just something I remembered." I looked at the flames. "You know, sometimes I worry that I might be repeating it so much it will lose its value, but..." I sighed as my chest tightened, "I don't know what else to do, especially with this barrier between us." I looked at Hackett again, "I really love you, Admiral. Just being near you and seeing your rare smiles makes me love you even more. And knowing you want to stay with me makes me really happy, as if my life was finally on the right track. I feel a bit more complete and it's amazing. And I want to do everything I can to make you happy."

He took a deep breath. "It hasn't lost its value, in fact, to hear such declaration is wonderful." He clenched his hands on his pants, "If only I could touch you... show you what you do to me. I would hug you and caress you until you had no doubts of my feelings for you."

"Damn, I want to throw myself in your arms, Admiral." I took a deep breath and stood. "But I can't... and I should go make lunch."

"Why can't you choose, Bethany?" He seemed thoughtful.

"I... when I think about having to choose one over the other, there's just no way I can do it. There isn't one I want more. Even when I couldn't decide on what to wear or eat I would still pick one, but Alucard didn't let me simply pick one. I... don't know if this challenge will ever end because I really want you all with the same intensity."

"I didn't think it was possible to not have favorites."

"Neither did I."

He stood and left the book on the seat; I saw the cover then: a book about gardening. Was he studying to help me?

"I'll help you with lunch."

  


The day went fast after that; we cooked pasta and made sauce with some leftover fish that was in the fridge, then we went back outside and he helped build the trellises. I didn't do much because I was hurting and he insisted it continued that way. "I can do this, just tell me how you want it done."

I decided to sow the rose seeds in temporary vases and transfer the seedlings when they were ready. It would be easier to organize their locations that way; in case some seeds didn't live.

In the evening we both sat around the fireplace reading books after taking our showers. His scent was so good that I wanted to smell it from the source, which distracted me, but I had to resist, I couldn't touch him.

Dinner was the same as lunch and as I prepared myself for bed I couldn't stop thinking about how awful it would be to sleep alone again. I supposed I could offer him my bed and we could do it like Thane and Zevran had. It would not be what I really wanted or needed, but it was better than sleeping in different rooms. I just hoped he would accept.

"Admiral," I said as we stood at the corridor upstairs, "do you want to sleep together?" He was surprised. "My bed is big enough we won't touch, so it's safe for the challenge."

"I... I'm not sure I could resist not touching you being in the same bed."

"Ah, alright. I had to try." My smile was sad, but I couldn't help it. "Good night, Admiral."

"Good night, Bethany."

  


Another night of poor sleep ended and I woke up with the alarm. My body hurt as if I had been beated mercilessly while I slept and there was nothing I could do to feel better. I stretched, hoping it would at least make me feel less iron-made, but it didn't help much. Still, better than before.

And no sign of Alucard; he was starting to worry me. I knew he could take care of himself, but why would he leave? Why ignore me? What was it that he needed to do by himself? I missed him and I hoped he wasn't hurting, that his guilt wasn't eating at him.

"Alucard, come back, my love, please." I said inside my head, hoping he hasn't cut me off that odd connection we had. But I didn't know, he didn't answer, didn't return.

Breakfast was sandwiches with the last of the bread. I'd have to bake some soon and I hoped I could; I had never made bread before.

"Did you sleep well?" Hackett asked.

"Not much. You?"

"Not really. And I kept thinking about your offer."

"It would be nice if you accepted it tonight."

"How... wasn't it difficult for you and them to sÄºeep in the same bed and stay away?"

"It was. I wanted to cuddle all the time I had been awake. I guess it wasn't much easier for them either, but it was still better than sleeping by myself."

"I see. Maybe I could give it a try, tonight."

That made me smile. "I'd love that!"

  


We continued working on the trellises after taking care of the garden. The rose seeds had sprouted overnight and seeing them gave me hope of Iorveth arriving to beautiful flowers.

It was a warmer day, so after we were done I wanted to go to the river. "Will you join me, Admiral?"

"I think I might."

"Awesome! I was afraid you'd refuse again." I started walking and he followed me.

"I'm not so busy and I could use the benefits of the river."

"I hope you don't mind swimming naked, because it's what I'll do." I looked over my shoulder with a smirk and found him focused.

"I'm not against it. Although it's been a while since I last did it."

"You know, it's my chance to even the score. You've seen me naked twice, I still haven't seen you even once."

"Now you got me anxious about your opinion."

"Nonsense, I'm sure I'll love your body just as much as I love you." And exercising as often as he did? He was probably so damn sexy.

"I'm not as young as the others."

"So what? You take care of yourself, many young men don't. And those men out there, well, only Zevran and Fenris are young. Solas is thousands of years old, Iorveth is a few centuries, and I don't know how old Thane and Evfra are, although their bodies are so different from ours that I doubt our concept of age would matter anyway."

"Well, you'll see soon."

And soon it was. We arrived at the river and I quickly removed my dress, standing before him in only my panties. He was a gentleman and didn't stare. "You can look, you know."

"The problem of looking is that it'll increase my desire to touch you." He said as he removed his pajama's shirt.

"I'm dying to be all over you no matter if I look or not, so I won't miss my chance to watch you."

He staggered a little and looked at me. "Were you always that direct? Even before coming here?" His gaze slowly travelled the expanse of my body and noticing his interest made me hot.

"Yes. Although I haven't said those things to anybody because I wasn't interested in anybody." I bent so I could remove my panties and his eyes didn't miss a thing, darkening with interest.

"You like to provoke, don't you?"

"I do. But I'd like it more if we could actually do something after all the teasing."

"Hell yes, I agree." His hands were on the waistband of his pants, but didn't move. "You are so beautiful, Bethany."

"Thank you, Admiral." I was floating with happiness that he thought so. My heart was beating so fast with emotion and anticipation to see those pants off. I could see he was hard and I wondered if he was having second thoughts. "You can remove them. Let me have a full view before I give you the verdict."

He chuckled and my heart soared. "Very well." And he dropped his pants, making my heartbeat increase further.

He was more than I imagined. From the top of his head down to his feet he was handsome; which I imagined, but he was so damn attractive. And there wasn't scars, I guess Mass Effect's medicine really was another level. But it shocked me to see he wouldn't be such an easy man to handle should it happen; so far he was the largest I've seen. And damn if I didn't want to touch him right then!

"Bethany?" He asked and I closed my mouth I haven't realized was open.

I swallowed thickly. "Damn, Admiral. I want to jump you." He laughed and I swooned.

"I wish you could. Come, let's go into the water, I need to cool down." Oh but I didn't want his shaft to go down any time soon. And I wasn't shameless enough to say it aloud.

We entered the river and the shock of the contact with such cold water made me hiss. My body must have been burning. I swam until I was right at the middle and stopped to take a breath and watch my love. He was right behind me and I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around him.

"You are a vision." He said a bit breathlessly. His wet hair made him look cute and I found myself smiling. "I couldn't say it when you lost the towel in front of us, but you are sinful."

"That makes two of us, my beloved Admiral." I said with a smirk. "I want you so badly right now."

"Don't tease me further, it's almost cruel."

"You're right. But... I had to let you know." And I dove again to try and cool my head. It really sucked that I couldn't touch him. And it was then that I had a very wicked idea. I emerged and didn't see him immediately, only after a minute he emerged in front of me, closer this time. Dangerously close. "Admiral."

"Bethany." He was clearly affected, swimming wasn't helping either of us.

"I have a proposal for you."

"I'm all ears." God, his breathless voice would be the death of me.

"The challenge says we can't touch each other, but it doesn't say we can't touch ourselves in front of each other." His eyebrows went up. "I know it's not the same thing and it will be hard to keep my body to myself, but I really need to do something and it might as well be with you."

"What exactly are you proposing?"

He was a smart man or he wouldn't have become an Admiral, so I was sure he understood. Still, I made it clearer.

"You and I go to the grass and touch ourselves, like some couples like to do, you know, watch their partner come from their own touch for them, knowing they're thinking about them."

"I doubt that will help us."

"The way you are, you are going to touch yourself, aren't you? I know I am. I want you to see me and I'd like to see you."

"Damn it, Bethany."

"Say yes, Admiral. Please."

"How can I refuse when you're begging me to see you touch yourself for me? Let's go."

"Yay!" He shook his head with amusement and I swam quickly to the margin, searching for a good place to sit.

I laid my dress by a large rock and sat on it, waiting for the Admiral to join. "Where do you want me?" He asked standing in front of me with a delicious erection; those veins were calling me and it was painful that I couldn't answer.

"I want you in so many places..." I took a deep breath, "but for this I want you to sit right where you are."

He sat down and crossed his legs loosely in front of him. I couldn't move my gaze away from his crotch for long, it always went back; I wanted it too much.

"What are you thinking?" He asked, surprising me.

"Do you really want to know?"

"From what I've heard, this sort of encounter works best with teasing and dirty words."

"You've heard it? Or have you done it before?" I asked as I spread my slight bent legs, giving him full view and gaining his attention immediately.

"I've heard it. And watched it on occasion."

"Oh, Admiral Hackett likes porn."

He chuckled. "Military life can be lonely."

"I bet. So... what I'm thinking is the many places I want you to touch me with that." I pointed with my head towards his crotch.

"Oh? This?" He held his shaft and I had to swallow. God, I wanted to lick it so much.

"Yes." My voice failed me, but he smirked. "I want to feel it on every surface of my body, Admiral."

"Why?" He began stroking the length and I had no choice but to run my finger inside my nether lips, finding the opening completely wet and it was not because of the river water.

"It's beautiful." My voice was low, but he was close and I'm sure he could hear me. "I'm sure it's hot. Is it?"

"It's very hot, Bethany. It's throbbing and all I want is to let you play with it. What would you do?"

"I... I want to lick it so badly, Admiral." His grip tightened for a second and a quick succession of strokes got a moan out of him. "Don't hold back your sounds, Admiral. I want to hear you." A moan of my own interrupted me, "I want to hear you as you think of my mouth around your cock. How it would feel to have me suck you. God, I want it badly."

"Damn it. You would make me come quickly, Bethany." I noticed he often had to slow down and almost stop his strokes. "Use your other hand too, spread the lips for me."

I did and his eyes told me he much enjoyed what he was seeing. "I can't wait to touch you, Admiral, to feel you inside me."

"I want that. Can you imagine it, Bethany? Can you imagine my cock deep inside you? Throbbing inside that wet cunt of yours?"

"Yes, Admiral, it'd be so good. So damn good-" A moan as I decided to try my fingers inside; the wet sounds were lewd. "To feel you here, entering me, oh Admiral." I closed my eyes. "Hot, pulsing, so hard, so big, yes."

"Yes, so hard for you, disappearing into your cunt like your fingers-" a moan, "such a beautiful cunt, it must feel so good, soft and hot."

"And wet, so wet for you, oh Admiral, I want you so much, my love, so much."

"I want to hear your sounds as I thrust into you."

"Yes, I want that. So hard, so hot, ah, moving in and out, oh Admiral."

"I want to hear you call my name as I fuck you."

"Oh yes, Admiral, Steven, my Steven."

"Are you close, Bethany?"

"Quite. You?"

"It's hard to hold back." He chuckled, but his breath was laboured and a moan came along.

"Would you fill me, Admiral? Spill your seed deep inside me? Would you?" I focused on my clit so I could speed it a little, still moving my fingers where it gave the most pleasure.

He groaned. "Yes, yes Bethany. I'd fill you so well you'd be dripping."

"Oh yes, please do it. I want you to fill me, Admiral."

"Bethany, I can't hold any longer." I opened my eyes and saw him so flushed, so sexy and his shaft was red and glistening. Oh how I wanted it.

"Come on me, Admiral."

"You're sure?"

"Yes." The challenge never mentioned it wasn't allowed. "Spill on me, wherever you want."

He groaned again and it gave me even more pleasure. I was so close. His moans were beautiful and he went on his knees barely a moment before jets of white hit my belly. And it was a lot.

"Amazing." I said breathlessly before I had to close my eyes again in pleasure. "You'd fill me well-ah!" The orgasm took me by surprise and when I opened my eyes I saw him observing me. I wanted to kiss him so much. "So... did you like it?" I said as I removed my hands from between my legs.

"I did. You are even more beautiful during an orgasm."

"Must be even better knowing it was for you, uh?" I said with a smirk before collecting some sperm on my finger.

"It's very good for the ego. You hav-"

I took the finger to my mouth, tasting it. As I sucked it I watched Hackett look at me intensely and I smirked just before removing the finger and licking it to get it all. "I like it. You definitely have to let me suck you when we do it."

"You're going to make me hard again, Bethany."

"Oh I'd love to see you hard again, especially if you gave me more of this." I collected more sperm and licked it off the finger. I wanted to do something else with it that I doubt he would expect; I collected some more and this time I took it to the opening between my legs; it felt good to slip it inside as I was still sensitive. "So I can think of you in there too."

"You surely are sinful."

"You like it, don't you?"

"I love it. I wish I could take you now."

"So do I." I took more sperm to my mouth as my other hand went in between my legs. "Let's do it again?"

"I don't think I have much of an option." He revealed a very hard shaft for me.

"Awesome."

  


It was great to do it again, but not less difficult to resist touching him. After we were done we washed at the river, then sat on the rocks to dry a bit before going inside.

"I never thought I would do something like that." He said after a while in quiet.

"Why?"

"It's not... something I ever thought of doing. And it was never suggested before, even as foreplay."

"But you liked it, right?" I looked at his face and he had a relaxed smile.

"I did. I could definitely see you touching yourself for me more times."

"Gladly." I sent him a flying kiss. "But I really hope it doesn't take long for me to feel you instead of my hands."

"Is the challenge even working after this? We weren't supposed to touch each other so you would have to decide on one to have sex with first, but I'm quite sure what we did counts as sex."

"Does it if there is no contact?"

"People do cyber sex, don't they? They dont touch since they are apart and it still counts as sex." He had a point. "And, well, you had my cum in you even if I were not the one to put it there."

"Oh. I haven't thought about it that way. There's one quick way to know, but I'm afraid of what Alucard will do if the challenge isn't over. I wish he would appear so I could ask."

"So do I."

  


Soon we went inside the house; the sun was traveling towards the horizon so we missed lunch time. As I put on clean clothes I wondered what we could eat that was fast to prepare since I was feeling a bit drowsy. I was feeling too sleepy lately; I definitely needed better quality sleep.

We ended up making pasta, this time with vegetables, enough that we would have leftovers for dinner. After I ate I felt so weak that a nap was my only option. But I decided to have it by the fireplace while Hackett worked on his notes.

  


I awoke to find my beloved reading on the other sofa next to me. I felt something heavy on me and I realized I had been covered at some point. "Thank you." I said as I sat up slowly, pulling the duvet so it would wrap around me.

"You're welcome. You seemed cold." He said as he set the book down on his lap.

"I think I still am a bit, which is strange considering the temperature inside the house is always perfect."

"Do you feel ill in any way?"

"No, just more sleepy than usual. I haven't been sleeping well, as you know."

"It might be affecting your health."

"I hope not. But having you in my bed tonight will make me sleep better, I'm sure."

"I hope so. We'll have to do something about it if it doesn't."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, but I'll find something. Even if I have to find this Summoner."

His conviction made me happy; he really cared. "Thank you, Admiral."

"What for?"

"For caring, for being willing to take care of me."

"Of course, Bethany. You're the woman I chose to live my life with."

Oh, my heart. "God, Admiral. You make me so happy."

"Good to know." He smirked. Has he been smiling more often?

"Why are you reading about gardening?" I asked after a minute of silence.

"I think I should know how to better help you."

"So you intend on helping me from now on?"

"Whenever I can."

"It will be fun to have you." I smiled. "So... what did you learn with your notes?"

"The men should be arriving tomorrow or the day after."

"Oh, great!" I was eager to see them again, kiss Iorveth and learn what they discovered.

"I hope they bring good news."

"So do I."

"Are you hungry?"

"No. Is it time to eat already?"

"In an hour or so. I was thinking about having some coffee, do you want some?"

"Oh, sure."

We drank and discussed what he has been reading about gardening, ideas he had and how we could start a small farm for grains. It would be a lot of work, but we had the tools to make it easier.

After dinner I was going to do laundry, but I discovered he already had. Hackett really beat me to most housekeeping tasks.

In bed it was tempting to cuddle, especially after his words about the challenge propably being over, but I decided to play safe. I called for Alucard in my mind once again and had no answer. It was driving me crazy, but I couldn't do anything other than wait for him to return.

I fell asleep some time after my Admiral did, but I wasn't as anxious as the night before; maybe I would finally sleep well.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alucard is back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to cut the chapter in two so it wouldn't be as huge as the first one. I hope you like it.  
> Sorry for the double post, I clicked the post button before it was ready. Formatting this is still a problem @_@

Part of me hoped to wake up entangled in Hackett's limbs, the other part was afraid of what such action would cause, the whole of me did not want to wake up alone. But the latter was what happened.

The clock showed it was past nine in the morning so what had happened to the alarm? I was sure I had it set to six.

As I changed into a dress I tried contacting Alucard again; unsuccessfully. I was beginning to panic because of his absence and I had to focus my mind; panicking would solve nothing, would cause more problems and I couldn't afford that, I had things to do.

Hackett had said the others could return that day and it made me a bit anxious. I couldn't wait to see them again, to be in Iorveth's arms and hopefully discover the location of the Summoner. I missed them, I missed them very much.

  
  


I didn't find the Admiral in the main room and when I went to the kitchen he also wasn't there, but something caught my attention: cake. He had baked a carrot cake for breakfast. Just how many things would he do in my stead? I mean, I wasn't annoyed, on the contrary, it was great to wake up to food and have clean clothes, but how active and skilled was he? No wonder he was the youngest Admiral if he was this efficient in the military too.

I took a small piece and it was delicious, it had sliced carrots which made it a little crunchy. I thought it funny that he would do that considering he didn't like carrots in his meals.

When I was done eating I went outside to work on the garden and that was where I saw the man. He was building the trellises. "Good morning, Admiral." I greeted with a smile.

"Bethany, good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Actually I did. Better than the past few days for sure. Hey, did you perhaps do something with the alarm?"

"Yes, I turned it off."

"Why-"

"You needed to rest and there was no need for you to get up so early."

"I have things to do."

"And I already took care of some of them. Come on, let me help while I can. After the others return I will be too busy."

"Alright. Thank you for letting me sleep in, I do feel better."

"My pleasure. Have you eaten?"

"Yes, delicious cake."

"I'm glad you liked it. I followed a recipe, but I tried doing some things the way my mother used to. I wasn't sure it would come out right."

"It did. I love it and you have to show me how you did it."

He smiled. "I will."

"You did good progress here too, how long have you been up?"

"Since five. Habit."

"I'll help once I'm done with the plants."

I was surprised to see some of the first things I had planted were almost ready for harvest; they really grew fast. The roses were growing well and I would transfer them to their definitive spots after I was done with the trellises, but it would likely be necessary three more days for them to blossom. Unfortunately Iorveth wouldn't have the welcome sight I wanted for him.

  
  


After I was done I helped Hackett with the trellises and by the time we stopped for lunch only two were left to complete the pathway towards the river. With more wood, which I planned on collecting after my body was no longer hurting, we could make the other side and some archways. I should probably put some lights there too; it would give it a magical look. I thought I had seen some string lights in the shed so I just had to figure out how to make them work without an outlet to connect them to the energy grid; however it functioned.

We were tired and sweaty so we went to the river again to relax a bit before heading inside to eat. We sat together, not touching, and let the river massage our bodies. In the end we ended up doing last day's intimate activities again; it was too difficult to resist.

We made lunch together and ate it while discussing the lights; he also had no idea how to make them work.

When we finished with the trellises and I transferred the roses it was almost sundown. There was no sign of the men, but Hackett had said they might only arrive the next day so I didn't worry. It didn't mean I got any less anxious.

  
  


It was almost time for dinner when Alucard finally contacted me, talking in my head. "Come to your room, little witch." I immediately told Hackett I had to go talk to the vampire and ran upstairs.

The vampire was standing by the window just like he had been a few days before. "Alucard." I was breathless from excitement and effort. "I'm glad you've returned, why were you ignoring me?"

He turned to look at me and the seriousness in his expression made me think something bad had happened. "I was busy. Thinking, exploring, aiding the others in their search."

"You could have warned me, I was worried."

"I couldn't face you after what I did."

"But I forgave you."

"I did not forgive myself. In any case, I have come to the conclusion that I should make amends. Tell me whatever you want me to do and I will."

"Cancel the challenge so I can hug you."

He was surprised, but then smiled, it was strange to see such a sweet smile on his face, but I loved it and my heart soared. "The challenge is already over, you have chosen the Admiral."

"Oh. So he was right that it counted..."

"Yes."

I looked at the man in front of me for a second before rushing to wrap my arms around him. It felt so good to be with him again, to feel his body against mine. He hugged me back and brought his face to my hair, inhaling deeply.

"I missed you, don't disappear again."

"I'll try. What do you want me to do to make it up to you?"

I looked at him and there was only one thing I wanted at that moment. "Kiss me."

"Are you sure that is all you want?"

"I already forgave you, there's no need for amends, but I need you."

He kissed me then, as desperate as if he needed me to survive. That level of enthusiasm was unexpected, but very welcome and satisfying. I had missed his mouth so much, it felt like coming home after a long journey. All tension from my body was gone and he was all that existed.

"Don't disappear again." I whispered against his lips. "Don't ever ignore me." I kissed him before he could say anything. "Stay with me tonight."

"Gladly." He ran his fingers through my hair and looked at me in a way that made my heart skip a beat. "But what about the Admiral?"

"Ah, I think he'll understand."

"We'll see." He pulled me tighter and kissed me again, his large hand keeping my waist flushed with his. I don't know how long the kiss lasted, but I was weak and breathless when we parted. And I was very, very hot; my body craved him.

I caressed his cheeks with both hands and kept him looking straight at me. "My love." His pupils dilated and my heartbeat sped up. "My dream come true. God, how much I love you and need you with me... can you feel it, Alucard? You read my mind, but can you read my feelings too?"

"I don't need to. I see it in your eyes, I feel it in your touch."

"Good, because I can't put it into words." I kissed him again. All the time apart had been too long, I had to be closer. "I can't let you go." I was breathless as I wrapped my arms around his neck, keeping him close.

"Then don't." He kissed my lips, then his way down my neck and my arms went to hug his middle. "Your blood calls for me, little witch." He licked the spot and I shivered, I remembered how good it felt when his teeth pierced my skin and I definitely wanted it again.

"Yes." I whispered; it was the loudest I could say it. I wanted him to drink my blood, to take me.

"Do you want it now?" He sucked my neck and I moaned in pleasure.

"Yes. It's been too long already."

He took my lips again and the next thing I realized was that I was being laid on the bed. I held him tighter and couldn't care if my nails could rip his shirt; I needed him closer, I needed to feel him everywhere.

It wasn't long until I was naked under him, but I didn't notice him removing my clothes until it was done. I was too focused on his kisses.

He was over me, still dressed in his pajamas, with a hand caressing my side from near my breast to my hip then back up. Interesting that his hair seemed to defy gravity, framing his face but never dropping down on me, it stayed on his back. "You're so soft, makes me want to bite the whole of you, little witch."

"You can, you know." I said as I began unbuttoning his shirt. "I would love your teeth on me."

"I have never met someone who actually meant it and wasn't just interested for fetishes or cults." He said before lowering his head on my shoulder and nibbling its expanse; it didn't hurt, it sent sparks traveling down my chest to my belly. He gave a kiss, sometimes a lick, to the spots he bit and kept nibbling his way to my breasts. When he locked his teeth on my nipple and pressed I cried out in pleasure as a jolt went straight to my clit, warming up everything in its way.

My hands, which had been unable to do anything, went to his hair right above his ears and I found myself encouraging him to continue playing there. He licked the tip repeatedly and fast, making me crazy, then sucked it before biting it again. I was so worked up already, so wet, and I thought he could make me come from that alone.

But when I was almost losing my mind, instead of finishing it, he moved to nibble his way down my belly. It gave me room to breathe again, but just barely, each touch of his teeth, lips or tongue was a delicious torment.

His teeth on my inner thighs did things I can't explain, it was amazing and I wanted, needed, him in between my legs. But he continued to bite and lick his way down to my calf. As far as I could tell he hadn't drawn blood yet and I wondered if he would wait until the end to drink me.

"Alucard," I tried speaking, but my voice was so weak; if he wasn't a vampire or couldn't read my mind I don't think he would've understood my words, "I need you so badly."

"I'm not done yet, little witch."

"Please, explore the rest of me another time."

"Very well." He made his way up my body with licks and kisses that made me burn inside, I wanted him so much it was bordering painful. "Bethany," he looked straight into my eyes and he almost drained me of all air with his intensity, "do you want the man or the monster?"

"You. I want you," I caressed his cheek, "the way you are, man and monster, my vampire."

"Then you shall have." His pajamas began to disappear, being absorbed into his body, revealing pale skin that I wanted to kiss so much, but I was happy running my fingertips for the moment.

I felt him hard before I saw it and the sight was the last bit that was missing for me to need him in desperate levels. His shaft was amazing, I had to feel it, had to have it in me. He wasn't as thick as the Admiral, but was just as long and the veins called to me. My hand found its way there without my notice, but it was so good to hold it. A sharp intake of breath caught my attention and I looked at the face so close to mine; Alucard was enjoying it. It was nice to see him enjoy something that didn't involve violence, to see him feel pleasure like a man, to know it was me who was giving it to him.

"My love," I said as I moved my leg to his hip, giving him the space he needed. I couldn't understand the expression he was showing me, but he was focused, intense. "Come in, Alucard."

He didn't say anything, he didn't stop looking at me; as his hand touched mine around his shaft and I let go he kept my attention on him. I was watching his slightly parted lips when I felt his hand on my nether region; his fingers were warm and slid easily on the slick skin, when he touched my clit I gasped and looked into his eyes; he still observed me and I felt like a prey in sight of a predator. It made me want him even more.

"I need you." I held his shoulders, caressing with my thumbs, "don't tease me now."

I felt his shaft then, pressing against me as his body moved above me. My eyes closed involuntarily as he entered, hot and pulsing against my walls. I hugged him tight when he was fully inside and he kissed me.

Being with him that way had been an impossible dream for over a decade, I was so happy that I wanted to cry, but I held it in. Still, I think he knew because he left my mouth to kiss my cheeks and eyes while he caressed my body with his hand. I loved that man, that vampire, I loved him and I couldn't ever be without him again.

When too many parts of me were being caressed at the same time I realized he was using his powers; black tendrils similar to the ones that had separated me from Zevran, but they were as hot as he was, as soft as his skin was, and I loved it.

I think he understood my acceptance because after that he moved and kissed me freely while the tendrils caressed me; and the attention was building me up so fast. He felt amazing inside me, like a perfect fit, rubbing all the places that felt good, that made me want to scream in pleasure. His kisses made me believe he loved me, whether it was possible or not.

Kissing was no longer a possibility when the only thing I could do was breathe between moans and words of pleasure, his mouth went to my neck, kissing and sucking while he also let out delicious sounds that made my body burn.

When I was about to come his teeth pierced the skin, giving me extra pleasure and making my world blur. It was different than that time in the bathroom, much more intense and powerful. I came back to my senses with him still licking my neck, still inside me and still caressing my body. I thought he would stop like he did that time, but he didn't. Still, I couldn't have expected him to pull out and come on my belly.

Vampires can't get women pregnant, why did he do it?

I kissed his lips, tasting blood and not caring. He laid beside me, pulling me on top of him and it was amazing to cuddle with him again, especially after what we just did and being naked. His skin against mine was one of the best sensations in my life.

"I love you." I said before softly kissing his lips. Then I laid my head by his chin and waited, but he didn't say anything, only continued to caress me as one does a cat. "Alucard."

"Yes?"

"Why did you pull out?"

"Because you don't want me to turn you."

"Oh. I didn't know it involved sex, well, aside from the virgin thing."

"There is more than one way to turn someone and... that would be one of them."

"So you will never... fill me?"

"Not while you're human." He held my chin and tilted my face so we looked at each other. "I hope it was not disappointing."

"Well, a bit. But I loved it; making love with you. Even without you filling me."

"Good to know." He gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "It had been a long time for me."

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"For giving me the chance. You said you didn't miss it and didn't want to do it."

"That was before." His hand cupped my cheek and caressed me with the thumb. "For centuries love meant nothing to me, humans were fickle and selfish, most hated and feared me, the ones who didn't only wanted my powers, not... me. But you are different, you accept me as I am."

"That I do." I smiled. "I think you're perfect."

"I'm a monster."

"That too, a very powerful and sexy monster." I showed him my tongue as teasing. "Seriously now, you might not be human anymore, but I'm glad you're not. You are immune to pretty much everything, immortal, smarter than most and no matter what you say, you have a heart."

"How can you see me through lenses so different than most? How... little witch, I still cannot believe you're able to love me. I know you do; I've always seen it in your actions and in your mind, but I don't understand how it is possible that while I have always inspired fear in others I would inspire love in you."

"I don't know how to explain. Ever since I saw you weak in that cell being awakened by Integra, killing what were actually monsters only interested in destruction and pain, saving Victoria, the way you moved and played with your enemies, the way you laughed, how much you respected Integra even when you joked... it's everything about you, Alucard. How you forfeited your life as a human to fight and protect people who in the end turned their back on you, but you didn't go out of your way to hurt innocents, you still protected the humanity that didn't want you. You fought when everything was against you, you never gave up, and you always came back." Tears left me as I remembered how long it took him to recover after fighting the Major. I hated that man.

Alucard's hand on my cheek caressed me and I noticed his expression, it surprised me; the sweet smile was back. "I have never thanked you."

"What for?"

"For allowing me to remember what love feels like."

Did that mean he loved me? Or was he referring to being loved by me? I'm sure he could have made it clear, but he didn't.

He kissed me gently and I don't know how long it lasted, but I didn't want to let him go anytime soon. Still, my stomach complained.

"You need to eat." He said against my lips and I couldn't help giving him many quick kisses as I spoke.

"I know. But it's so hard to leave you."

"I'll be here waiting for you." He took my lower lip and sucked. "The Admiral probably wants an update."

"You're right." I hugged him tight before sitting up. "And I can touch him now!" That realization gave me a boost to leave the bed.

"Don't be so eager to jump into another man's arms after being with me."

"What? I- I mean, I just-"

He laughed and it took me a few seconds to relax. "Don't worry, little witch, I know you want us all."

"But do you really not mind? Hackett told me he hadn't really accepted it before, have you?"

He sat up and I ended up admiring his gorgeous body. I still couldn't believe it was happening; he wanted me, to stay with me and I had been in his arms until a little while ago. "I have accepted it since the first day."

"What? Really?"

"Yes. I'm not jealous, Bethany."

"Oh, that's a relief." I looked around trying to find my dress. "So..."

"Yes, you can invite him to share the bed." He was smirking. "Tell him if he donates some blood I won't even fight for your cuddling."

There was no way I could tell him that. "Well, I'll be back soon." I said as I got into the dress, forgoing the panties I had no idea where they had ended up.

"Sure."

I took a last look at his amazing shape before leaving the bedroom; I could easily stay an entire day with him.

  
  


Hackett was sitting at the dinner table, which was already set. He seemed thoughtful and I wondered if he could be jealous. He had said he accepted sharing me, but he still wasn't fond of Alucard.

"This... talking... took a while." He didn't sound happy.

"Ah... are you angry?"

"No. Did you choose him?"

"No. You were right; I chose you. I actually want to throw myself in your arms, but you seem so annoyed that I'm holding back."

He sighed. "I don't want to be jealous or possessive, but it was difficult to hear you with him."

"I can't believe he did it again."

"No, he didn't do anything."

"Oh. I didn't realize I was that loud."

"Well, good sex can do that to a person."

"Admiral... Steven..." that seemed to make him relax a bit, "did it change? Your decision?"

"No. And I do accept sharing you, I just..." he sighed, "I have to get used to it. To... him."

"I see. Ah... well, I guess I'll take a shower then join you for dinner."

"Sure."

That was a strange conversation and not at all how I expected it to happen. I walked a bit crestfallen into the bathroom, wondering what I could do to make it better.

  
  


As I washed my body I heard the door open. Did I forget to lock it? But the Admiral knew I would be in the shower and I couldn't imagine him coming in there while I was using it.

"Did you get tired of waiting, Alucard?"

"It's me." Hackett. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Sharing the shower with him? It was completely unexpected, but of course I couldn't refuse. "Oh. Not at all, sure, come in."

It was barely a minute before he joined me completely and handsomely naked. "I apologize." He said before moving to hold me, but stopping halfway as if unsure. I immediately wrapped my arms around him. It was the first time I felt his naked body and I loved it. He was frozen for a second, but held me tight before pushing me away, holding onto my shoulders and watching my body. “What did he do to you?”

“What do you mean?”

He ran his fingertips on all the little marks Alucard had left on my skin; I hadn't even realized I had them. “Oh, this. He bit me.”

The way he looked at me made me think he couldn't believe I was being so calm about it. But how else could I act? I loved that I had these little proofs of my moment with the man. The thought made me smile.

He sighed. "Of course he did. Look, Bethany, I shouldn't have been so cold with you," he caressed my cheek, "you deserve better."

I turned my face so I could kiss his palm and then hugged him again. It was sweet relief to know he wasn't angry and that he wanted to stay with me, to feel the comfort of his body with mine, his arms wrapping around me and keeping me close. I was so happy to hug him after so long apart that my heart beat too fast in my chest; I was sure he could feel it.

The need to kiss him was overwhelming as my feelings and the piled up desire took hold of me. I didn't hold back. His lips were even better than I remembered, the way he sucked my tongue made me rub myself on him. How many times could I get aroused in a day? How many times could I have sex? I thought it surprising that I could be ready for more.

"I'm glad you're here." I said against his lips; almost a whisper. The water falling on our bodies was getting colder as my skin heated up.

"Bethany," one of his hands went to my butt and squeezed, pulling me tighter against him and making me gasp. He was hard. "Do you have any idea how difficult it was to hear you with another man for a second time?"

"No." My hands slid easily on his back as I caressed him at the same time as rubbing myself against him. It was so good to feel him naked with me. "But I thought it hadn't been a problem with Iorveth."

"It wasn't a problem, it was a surprise. A very uncomfortable and arousing surprise. I knew you loved him and I can't blame you for wanting him, but I couldn't have you." He sucked my earlobe. "I accepted that you would take your chances wherever you could." He rolled his hips, pushing his shaft against my lower belly. I wanted it inside. "But Alucard abused you, even used your fear against you and you laid with him before you did with me." He groaned and I shivered. "But it was me who you chose, even if we didn't get to touch when you did." His other hand cupped a breast and I couldn't help a moan of pleasure. "Both times you passed by me smelling of other men." He kissed my neck and I thought my legs would falter. "I want you smelling of me. I want my cum dripping from inside you after I had put it there myself." He sucked again. "Tell me you want it too."

"I do, I do!" He pushed his hips against me again. "We can finally do it, let's do it." I was breathless from anticipation. "I want it, Admiral."

"Say my name, Bethany." His hands held me close as I rubbed myself on him. "Tell me what you want."

"Oh Steven. Make love with me."

He kissed my lips and his hand on my butt slid down to lift my leg. I wrapped it around his hip and surprisingly he slid his shaft easily into my entrance. He was thick and I had never felt so full as I did then.

"God, this is good." I moaned against his lips before kissing him again. The wall was cold, but I didn't complain when he moved us and pushed me against it; I was enjoying his heat too much. He was definitely hungry; he kissed me and held me as if he had missed me for a very long time. His thrusts into me were heavenly, felt so good that I couldn't think, I could only enjoy it and hold him tight.

The orgasm came quickly, although weak, but we didn't stop. He lifted my other leg and I was completely at his mercy. Such delicious mercy. Our sounds echoed lewdly in the small space and I was glad there was only us in the house; Alucard wouldn't mind. The second orgasm was almost an out-of-the-body experience; my mind went blank as I cried out into his shoulder and I could only feel the immense pleasure as I squeezed him inside me.

I was completely weak when I recovered my senses, but he held me lovingly against his body, caressing my back with his thumbs. He was still deep inside me, but the throbbing was much diminished.

When he noticed my presence of mind he kissed me and I felt completely loved. "Can you stand?" He whispered.

"I'm not sure." I chuckled and it was so odd to do it while filled. "You destroyed me."

"Good." Another kiss and he lifted me enough for him to slide out. I felt the fluids follow suit and it was more than I expected.

"You know, I never expected this from you. I thought you were more of a bed man."

"As they say: desperate times require desperate measures." A swift kiss on my lips. "I had to fix the way I treated you as soon as I could."

"Well, consider it absolutely fixed. But I would love more, another time of course." He moved to have us directly under the water, careful not to wet my hair, and it felt good to have it warm again.

"I will love to have you repeatedly." He kissed me slowly. "On every surface we could use.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You think I prefer beds because of my age?”

“Partly yes, you seem too serious to enjoy doing it on odd places.”

“Shower sex is much more common than you think.” Another kiss. “But we should leave this bathroom and eat."

"You're right." He helped me down and my legs although tingly kept me up just fine. "You're stronger than I thought, all the exercise you do surely does wonders."

"The synthetic enhancement also helps."

"I wonder what else it helps you with." I held his cheeks and pulled him for another kiss; I couldn't get enough.

It took us a while, but we washed our bodies and left the bathroom wearing nothing but our towels. I held his hand while we ate, happy that I was free to touch him. It was a special treat to admire his naked chest at dinner and I hoped we could do it more often.

"Would you mind sharing the bed with Alucard?" I asked a bit reluctantly, expecting him to reject.

He observed me in silence and I wished I had the vampire's powers to read his thoughts.

"I'm not letting you go after finally being able to hold you; if I have to be in the same bed, so be it."

"Thank you, Admiral. You won't have to touch him or anything, I'll be between you two."

"I imagined you would." He bent over and took my hand to his lips. "But know that nothing would make me happier than having you all for myself."

I doubted it was his intention, but that saddened me a bit; it was something I couldn't do. "I... I guess it'll be worse for you after the others arrive."

"No, it won't."

"But you just said-"

"That in my dreams you would be only mine. But I'm not unhappy sharing you with the others. I wouldn't agree to stay otherwise."

"You're confusing me a little."

"It's simple; I will share you even though I would prefer to have you only for myself."

"But you'll be jealous, won't you?"

"I'll try not to be. Jealously could sour our relationship."

"I'm sorry this relationship is so unusual, but I can't help it."

"There's no need to apologize. The men are good and fair, I can see why you would love them too."

"But not Alucard."

"Not after what he did."

"I hope you two can get along soon."

"I can't promise you it'll happen."

"Still, I hope. But let's clean this and get ready for bed."

  
  


When we entered my room Alucard had his pajamas back on, however that worked. Another thing that was on was his smirk.

"I see you don't mind my presence." The vampire said and Hackett thankfully didn't answer his teasing. As I got into bed he continued, "Let me offer you a deal; you give me some blood and I let you cuddle her alone?"

"You cannot be serious." The Admiral said while still standing by the bed.

"Oh but I am. I told her to make the offer, but she refused."

"Because there's no way he would accept it." I said and motioned for Hackett to come to bed.

"I'm not giving you my blood, vampire." He said as he joined me.

"See?" I offered them both my hands. "Now let's be nice and sleep." Noticing Alucard was about to pull me closer and away from Hackett I insisted, "Be nice, Alucard."

He watched me for a few seconds, "Very well, I will not take you away."

He indeed played nice and only held my arm close to him, but at some point in the night I woke up to find myself snuggled up to Alucard and Hackett spooning me. It was amazing and I fell back asleep happier than ever before.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: the rest of the men return :3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The men return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :)  
> It's so nice when I can get the chapters down quickly. I can't wait to have them meet the Summoner! Aaah so close and yet so far!  
> I hope you like the chapter.

When I awoke Alucard was gone, but not the Admiral. I turned in his arms to snuggle closer and intended to nap until the alarm set off, but then he began caressing my arm and kissed my forehead.

"Good morning, Bethany." His sleepy voice was very endearing. I noticed his eyes moving and realized he was searching for the vampire.

"Good morning, Steven." I gave him a swift kiss on his lips.

"Did you sleep well?" His hand on my arm went up to my cheek.

"Better than ever." It was true, I had never slept so comfortably and relaxedly in my entire life; I felt renewed.

He smiled and I melted further in his arms. "I'm glad." He gave me a chaste kiss, but I licked his lower lip for fun, which he didn't expect by his surprised expression. When he smiled again I couldn't resist, I kissed him and moved yet closer, surprising myself this time when I found him hard. I tried not to think anything of it since I had always heard that it was common for men to awake in such state.

I continued to kiss him, his hand went to my hair and I rubbed myself against his hips, keeping an arm around his middle. I wasn't exactly aroused, but I wanted to touch him as much as I could. As we sucked each other's lips and tongues, heating up my body, I decided to do something I had wanted to do so badly since the first time I saw him naked, he only needed to agree.

"Admiral... Steven," I said between kisses, "can I suck you?"

"I shouldn't be surprised that you'd be direct. Yes, you can." But he didn't let me move away as he still held me close and kissed my lips.

"Now?" I insisted.

He let me go then, returning his hand to my shoulder. "I am all yours." His words moved me deeply. It could have been simple courtesy, but I wanted to believe that he was indeed all mine.

I was happy and didn't bother trying to hide it; the silly smile was stuck on my face as I eagerly moved to sit beside his hips when he laid on his back. In all honesty this sort of thing was never one of my dream acts with the men, but I somehow wanted desperately to do it with him.

Pushing his shirt up and then pulling his pants down I had to swallow because my mouth was watering. And to see the shaft beautifully hardening only made me want it more.

"You know," he said, "you almost make me afraid." That made me look at his face instead.

"Afraid?"

"You look hungry and I don't want to lose it." He chuckled.

"Don't worry, Admiral, I'll take good care of it."

"Why do you still insist on calling me Admiral?"

I felt confident enough to tell him the reason then. "Because I think it's sexy." And I ran my fingers from the base to tip, feeling the bulging veins that were becoming more noticeable. I wanted him at one hundred percent when I finally took him into my mouth.

"Sexy uh? Now that is a first."

"You know what else is sexy?" I squeezed him a bit and he moaned, delighting me. "Knowing it is me who got you like this."

"It's easy to want you."

"I can say the same." And there he was: big and awesome like at the river, completely ready for me. I lowered my head and licked the tip; getting another moan out of his lips.

After licking the entirety of it, not missing one spot, I looked at his face and found him watching me intensely with his lips slightly parted. Keeping eye contact I took the tip into my mouth, reveling in the way it felt against my tongue. I had never thought I would enjoy it so much.

"Such a great view." He said breathlessly. I wondered if he could notice I was smiling even though my mouth was quite open; and about to open even more as I took more of him inside, reaching the thickest part of his shaft. The veins pulsed on my tongue and I loved it.

I hummed in delight as I closed my eyes and began moving my head, hoping I was doing it right. I couldn't take him all in, but I tried to compensate with my hand. At some point I felt his fingers through my hair and I opened my eyes to look at him; he was watching me with dark eyes and slightly parted lips, I could hear his breathing and it made me enjoy the act much more.

"Bethany," I loved his pleasure voice, "you have to stop. I'm too close." But just as I had told him that day by the river, I wanted to taste his sperm directly from the source; I would not stop. He tried to move me away and I let him.

"I want it." I said as soon as my mouth was free. "To swallow it." I elaborated.

"Don't you want it between your legs?"

"Right now I really want it in my mouth."

"Very well." He caressed my cheek with his thumb and I lowered my head to his shaft again. "Your mouth feels so good, Bethany, I'm glad you like doing this." Oh he had no idea how much I was enjoying it, against all my expectations.

His moan came a second before I felt my tongue being coated and I continued to suck while swallowing everything he gave me. I was elated with it, excitement coursed through my body and I felt so energized, it was amazing.

"I loved it." I said as soon as he pulled me up again. When I saw his loving face I wanted to kiss him. "Can I kiss you?"

"Of course, come here."

Straddling him, his arms pulled me closer into a hug that I returned. I watched him only a second before kissing his lips and being immersed in warm feelings that kept on intensifying. After being with three of the men I understood completely why people called that sort of intimacy 'making love'; it enhanced and solidified the beautiful love I felt for them. I hoped it had the same effect on the men.

"I love you, Steven." I said against his lips before kissing him again.

He brought his hand to my cheek and held me gently looking at him. "And I love you, Bethany." Oh my heart. I hugged him tight, inhaling his sweet scent on the crook of his neck. He ran his hands on the expanse of my back, carefully, gently, and whispered to me. "I want you with me for the rest of my life. If we could I would marry you."

"Yes," I kissed his neck, "I want to marry you, be with me forever." That had been a dream of mine.

"Bethany," I didn't know how he could do it, considering it must have bothered him deeply, but he chuckled, "we can't marry if you love seven others."

That would actually be nine others, but I didn't correct him. "Oh, you're right." I looked at him with a smirk, "Or I could marry all of you who are staying." He raised an eyebrow and I laughed. "I'm kidding. But hey, Steven,” I kissed him swiftly on the lips, “my handsome Admiral, have no doubt that were we in a normal world I would marry you. And I know that it might be hard to believe, but I am yours. I am theirs, but yours too. I will always be, because this love I have for you is true and it only gets stronger."

"Ah Bethany..." He kissed me and soon the alarm rang nearby. Stupid clock. Why had I wanted that thing so much?

We both groaned in annoyance and I ended up laughing, which seemed to cause him to laugh too.

"Well, I wanted to enjoy my sexy Admiral a bit longer, but let's get ready for the day." I said before moving off his hips, but he held me halfway.

"We could stay. And I could treat you to some delicious orgasm as you did me."

"Tempting. But I can't stand that alarm and I have a lot to do on the garden."

"I'll help you and it will be faster then, we can stay a bit more."

"Well, if you insist I'm not the one to resist. Just let me turn that off."

As soon as I turned off the alarm he was hugging me from behind. "I want to have you while I still can." I understood then, he was thinking about the others' return.

"It's not like you won't have me once they're back, you know."

"You'll be with them and it's only fair after so long." He said between kisses and licks on my neck, which were getting me hot quite fast. "I won't get in the way."

"Zevran suggested a five-people orgy once, you know." And I was getting breathless.

"Of course he did." One of his hands went under my shirt to grab a breast while the other slid into my shorts. "No panties."

"I don't wear them with pajamas."

"Good to know." He began teasing the sensitive spots and I couldn't help the sounds of pleasure. "There's one thing I agree with that vampire, your sounds are beautiful."

"How do you know that about him?"

"His excuse to broadcasting you that night. Well, one of them." He sucked my earlobe and hummed. He was turning me into a panting mess and he was mostly teasing. He pulled me closer and I felt him hard against my butt.

"What did you think about while you heard me?"

"How wrong it was for us to hear it, but how good it would be if it was me instead."

"And is it good?"

"Definitely." He rolled his hips against my body and increased his teasing on my breast at the same time that he slid his fingers between the nether lips, easily moving them from my wet entrance to my clit. "At the river you were making me crazy." He bit my neck and I moaned loudly. "So you really like to be bitten."

"Yes." I squeezed his strong arms while he continued to play with my body. "Do it again." And he did, gaining another moan from me. It was delicious to have him bite me, different than Alucard, but so good too.

"Come here. Let me explore you properly." He moved from behind me, removing his hands from inside my clothes, and helped me lie down. I watched him expectantly, wondering what he wanted to do. He removed my pajamas and moved to stay on top of me, on knees and hands. "I've said this before, but you are sinful. Such beauty, even with his marks on you."

"And what do you want to do to me?"

"Many things, but for now I will explore you."

And explore he did, with his hands and mouth. At some point I was so on fire that I thought his next touch would make me come, but they never did, they just kept it burning and making me want more.

"Steven, please, I can't wait anymore."

"What are you waiting for?" He asked while spreading my legs.

"For you, inside me."

"Oh I want that very much too. It's throbbing, you know," he rubbed his shaft against my thigh, it was almost cruel to have it so close yet so far, "but we'll wait just a bit more."

"Why? Just get in."

He chuckled. "Always so blunt." There were no more words from him as he held my legs and lowered his head in between them. I wasn't expecting him to do it, unlike me he had never expressed desire to do oral on me. But god, his mouth was magic. It took me so little to come that I wished he would do it again, he felt really good down there.

When I calmed down he hadn't moved, and soon he was building me up again, sucking and licking me, and this time he was using his fingers too. I didn't bother speaking, because I also couldn't think much, but before he would send me over the edge again he stopped. I wanted to ask why he stopped, but I had my answer before the words formed.

He moved and pushed his shaft inside me, filling me completely and deliciously. He was indeed throbbing quite intensely. Wrapping his arms around my body, Hackett pulled me close and began to move his hips. I spread myself as much as I could, keeping my legs by his waist and held his back. He was moving fast, I supposed we both were too close. When the pleasure was too great he groaned and I realized I had scratched him. "You like that?" I asked breathlessly.

"Yes." So I did it again. He bit my neck and sent me straight into an amazing orgasm. I felt him fill me and I didn't know why, but it made me so damn happy.

  
  


After we were calm and relaxed in each other's arms, cuddling and kissing, we left the bed to collect clothes and head for the shower. We shared it once again, but this time there was no sex, just gentle washing and occasional kisses after some play with the soap's suds.

We ate some of the cake for breakfast and gardening went fast with his help. He had improved since the last time, the book had surely taught him well. And it was fun to do it with him again, so much fun that I only noticed the men approaching when they were just a few meters away. "They're here..." I said almost as a whisper, in awe after so long away.

They looked safe, I couldn't spot any injury or dirty clothes like the last time, and were speaking loudly and merrily, like a group of friends tend to do. "What are you doing here just staring? Go greet them." Hackett said, bringing me back to myself. He was right.

I immediately got up and ran to hug the closest one, Zevran. There was silence as the elf carefully held me in turn. I pulled away enough to kiss his lips and was happy when he opened them to make way for tongues.

Someone cleared their throat, breaking the moment. "I see the challenge is over." Fenris, out of everyone, was the one speaking. "It was about time, now you two can stop complaining."

"I wasn't complaining-" Thane began, but was interrupted by the elf in my arms.

"I was the one complaining, mostly, and with reason." He gave me a smirk then. "I missed these lips." Another kiss, this time chaste and swift.

"I missed you too." I gave him a quick kiss before letting him go. "Thane... can I hug you?" I would have gone to him without asking if he didn't seem so unsure.

He relaxed and it made me even more confused. What was he worried about? "Of course." He moved closer and I pretty much threw myself in his arms. I was going to kiss him, but he gently held my face. "We should be careful with this."

"But I don't mind the effects."

"Let us go slow on this, I don't want to hurt you."

"Well, alright then." And I hugged him tight. I really missed the comfort of his body close to mine, it felt amazing to have it again.

"We should go inside and rest before the meeting." Iorveth said, quite coldly. I found it very odd.

"I'm heading for the bathroom then." Fenris said and as he walked towards the house I saw Hackett slowly approaching.

"I'll put away the equipment." Solas said before lifting the varied camping stuff with his magic and walking towards the shed.

"How well did it go?" Hackett asked, standing a few steps away from us.

I had an arm around Thane and he kept one around me, it didn't surprise me when Zevran moved to hug me on the other side. "Surprisingly well." The elven assassin said.

"That is good to know. I can't wait for the details." The Admiral said.

"Are you guys hungry?" I asked.

"A little." Thane said.

"Alright, let's go inside, there's some delicious cake our dear Admiral made and I'll prepare lunch."

" _You_ making cake?" Zevran asked. "I didn't think you'd ever make sweets."

"She likes it and it was good to make it." Hacket said.

"Hah, a man in love."

"What am I missing here?" I was a bit confused.

"Hackett doesn't like sweet food." Thane said.

"In general." The Admiral said. "I don't usually eat them, but I don't exactly dislike them."

"But now you're even making cakes." Zevran teased.

"I am. And you should be there before they eat it all."

"Oh, you're right." Zevran touched my cheek with his fingertips so I would look at him, then kissed me. "It's good to be home, mi amor."

There were so many things in that few seconds that made me happy that I was left speechless as I watched him smile and walk towards the house.

"We should go too." Hackett said, getting my attention.

"You're right." I looked at Iorveth and he seemed to have the barrier between us again. I didn't understand what was wrong, what could have possibly happened to erase the progress we had made. "Yes... let's go."

We walked into the house mostly in silence; only Evfra and Hackett exchanged a few words. I took the cake to the dinning table and tried to focus on making lunch while the men took turns in the bathroom and joined the others to eat and talk. I tried, it didn't mean I succeeded.

However, the more I thought the less I understood and it was making me worried and, honestly, a bit desperate. He had been so sweet, so gentle, I felt love between us, some special connection; why did it change? Was I wrong? Had I misunderstood what was between us?

  
  


When the food was ready I let them know and went upstairs. They were safe, that was all I needed to know; any other details were better discussed away from me in case the Summoner could get news through me. But instead of going to my bedroom I went to Iorveth's; I needed to know what was going on and I wasn't going to let doubt corrode me inside. Not this time.

I sat on the floor and waited; waited a long time. At some point I opened the curtains and sat again. It was only when the sun was going down that the door opened.

"Bethany? What are you doing here?" He had already taken his shower and was in his pajamas.

"Waiting for you." I stood, feeling a bit rigid from being in the same position too long. "I need some things cleared up."

"Alright. I'm all ears." He sat on the bed, watching me as if nothing had ever happened between us. I had to control my heart wrenching inside my chest, trying to make me cry.

"Why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Cold. Distant. What happened? I thought... I thought we had gotten closer, that... that you wanted to be closer."

"But now you can touch them again, the men who will stay with you. It's better if you don't get attached to me."

"What- _what_?"

"You don't need me anymore, you can touch them and they are the ones on whom you should focus."

"Are you saying nothing that we did mattered to you? You want me away?"

He frowned. "Of course it mattered, I don't do things carelessly and thoughtlessly."

"You feel nothing? The day you told me you'd be my anchor, that hug... did you feel nothing?"

"It doesn't matter what I feel. You should focus on the ones who can actually make you happy, who will stay."

"Bullshit!" It came out almost a shout. "I am living my life to its fullest and you are part of it, staying or not. If you regret what we did and want to stay away I'll respect your decision, but be honest with me. I want you, what do you want?"

He sighed. "Come here." He offered me his hands, confusing me, but I entered his space and he hugged me tight. It was a relief to be close again. "I don't regret anything, but don't say later that I didn't warn you; it will hurt more when I go."

"I'll worry about that when it happens." I ran my fingers through his humid hair. "Until you leave I want to enjoy my time with you. I didn't go to you because I couldn't touch the others, I did because I love you." I looked him in the eyes, "I will always love you."

He kissed me sweetly; it was slow and careful while he caressed my cheek. The wave of feelings enveloped me again and I wondered how he could ever think to reject this; it was beautiful.

We stayed like that for some time, but eventually we parted. "Don't ever think you are replaceable. You are unique to me, and although I know you plan to leave I want to make the most of our time together."

"I never thought I would hear such words from dh'oine. Much less that I would love one."

"Love?"

He looked away. "Against all reason, all reservations," he looked back into my eyes, "you've broken through my preconceived views and showed me a different kind of dh'oine, one with honesty and unconditional love as her essence. You might have gotten us all here through a greed book, but you are giving and selfless."

I had no words.

"If I knew my people would be well without me I would stay."

I hugged him tight and hid my face in the crook of his neck. My chest was about to burst and I didn't want to cry. His words had moved me deeply and I was unsure of how to reply. He wanted to stay, but had to go; I was happy and sad about all of it; if I cried he would think I was only sad.

"As much as I would like to remain like this, you haven't eaten while you waited for me, have you?"

"No."

"Then go. The Admiral will probably tell you what is safe for you to know."

"You could tell me." I pulled away to look at him.

"I need a nap."

"Oh, I see. Do... do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?"

That seemed to surprise him. "I would like that."

With a smile I gave him room to move and lie down. I sat beside him and ran my fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him with my presence and care. He held my other hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently, and continued to hold it even after he closed his eyes.

I never thought I would be in such situation with him, but I was happy. Especially after having our feelings and desires laid openly on the table for us to know, being clear of doubts and misunderstandings.

When his breathing was even and his grip relaxed on my hand I stood and went downstairs for late lunch, which probably meant I wouldn't have dinner, but not before taking one last glance at one of the men of my life sleeping peacefully and safely.

  
  


While I ate Hackett and Solas explained what they could. Zevran sat on my left and Alucard on my right, but only the assassin was touching me. Basically their trip had been much simpler than they had expected, but also much more surprising. They found an abandoned crumbling village and many overgrown farms from which they harvested what they could, but saw no sign of people.

I asked them if they had seen more animals like those elks I saw the other day and they indeed had. This land had many colorful and peculiar animals, of land and sky. Solas said the birds reminded him of some now rare in Thedas. I wanted to see the animals they had seen.

They were still angry with Alucard because of what he had done to me, but because he had been invaluable in the exploration they were on better terms. I wondered what he had helped with.

In two days they would leave again, but they wanted me to join this time. "We think we shouldn't tell you why." Hackett said. "Would you still come?"

"Of course! I've wanted to join them since the first time. I want to see what's out there and staying away sucks."

"Then you should prepare yourself, it might not be easy." Solas said.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, I'll have everyone with me." I gave the elf a smile and he solemnly nodded. I still couldn't understand why he was so serious with me.

"Of course we'll protect you," Hackett said, "but there might be accidents, eventualities and events you never had to deal with before."

"You make it sound so dangerous."

"It might be, Bethany."

"I'll do my best."

"Now that that's settled," Zevran said, "to whom did I lose the challenge?"

"It was never a competition." I said.

"Well, no, but you _chose_ someone." He insisted.

"This subject doesn't interest me, I'll be in my room." Fenris said as he left the table.

Solas also stood from his chair. "I will be in the library."

"As will I." Evfra said and stood as well.

"What a great way to clear a room." Alucard said and wrapped his arm around me.

"I wish they didn't have to leave." It made me sad that they preferred to be away from me.

"You still have us." Zevran said with a smirk. "So, who did you choose?"

"Ah, the Admiral."

"Oh, you _did_ let her choose someone else." He said to the vampire.

"I said I would if she did. I am a man of my word." Alucard said.

"Do you mind telling me how it happened?" Zevran's words got me flustered immediately. "Oh, something naughty happened."

"That should be private, Zevran." Thane said.

"Oh but I am curious."

"I'm not telling." Hackett said.

"If he doesn't want you to know then I won't tell either." I said as excuse. In truth I didn't know how to tell him something so... sexual. Just thinking about putting it into words embarrassed me enough.

"I could tell him." Alucard said in my head, which I shook, getting the others' attention and a chuckle from the vampire.

"So... mi amor, now that we no longer have the challenge between us, what do you say of us two going to my room?"

"Wha- how can you say that in front of the others like that?" He was so shameless.

He laughed. "I still think we all will do it together some of these days."

"No, we won't." Hackett said.

"You'll change your mind eventually." The elf insisted. "It's very good, you know."

Hackett sighed. "I'll take care of dinner while you discuss this."

"But Adm-" I began to protest, but he interrupted me.

"It's better this way, Bethany." Hackett stood. "And remember I said I wouldn't get in the way."

"Alright then. Just come here first." He approached from between me and Zevran and the elf made room for me to give Hackett a kiss.

"I want one too." Zevran said and as the Admiral walked away I kissed the elf. "This will be fun." He hugged me again. "So, I assume your bed will be quite full tonight." Zevran said.

"I don't actually know. Hackett said he would give us space." I looked at Alucard. "Will you sleep with me tonight?"

"That depends on what you intend to do and who will be joining. As I said, I prefer to have you alone, but I won't mind sharing, especially if some donation is involved."

"Thane? Will you sleep with me tonight?"

"I... don't want to get in the way. I do believe we have to discuss some things first."

"You don't have to sleep alone."

"I will be fine. You can join me tomorrow."

"That means I can have you, yes?" Zevran nuzzled my neck, making me shiver.

"Ah, yes, sure."

"I might actually explore outside tonight. You can thank me later, assassin."

"Yes, yes, I will." Zevran's hand slid under my skirts under the table. "Should we go upstairs now?"

Alucard chuckled, no doubt because I was likely red as a tomato, and licked my neck. Zevran and Alucard touching me at the same time; I could burst. The idea of a threesome was suddenly very interesting. "Not tonight, little witch." The vampire said into my head before disappearing into a smoke cloud that dissipated soon after.

"Ah, Zevran, I'm sure you can wait until we actually have to go upstairs, right?" I tried to stop his hand from getting any closer to my panties.

"Why should we delay what has already been delayed for so long?"

And damn, he had a point. But I wanted to talk to Thane. I needed to kiss that drell and it had to be that night.

"Zevran, I promise I'll let you touch me as much as you want later, but I need to talk to Thane."

The elf sighed. "Very well, mi amor, I'll wait. But don't make me wait too long." And he removed his hand from my thigh, only to grab mine and place it on his crotch. He was so hard under his pants.

"I won't." I couldn't resist squeezing him a bit before taking my hand away. "Thane, come with me?" I said as I stood.

"Lead the way."

  
  


I went to his room where it was the most comfortable for him. He opened the door and invited me to sit on the bed with him; which I accepted and we found ourselves sitting side by side in silence.

"Why are you afraid of kissing me? I said it would be fine." I finally said.

He held my hand and looked at me intensely. "If something bad happens we won't have medical assistance."

"Thane," I cupped his face with my other hand, touching his frills gently, "this place exists so I can be happy with you. I'm sure nothing bad would happen."

"Alucard told us what he did, how badly you reacted to his display of power. The place didn't protect you from your fear, it might not protect you from me."

"I'm fine, aren't I? It was bad, but also temporary. And that was something bad from the start, a kiss is a beautiful act of love."

He looked at me so intensely he took my breath away. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. It would be cruel to keep us separated because of your nature, I'm sure we'll be fine."

"You have much faith in the book."

"I do. I believe it will be fair and deliver happiness as it was supposed to."

He took a deep breath. "Very well. A simple kiss."

I was sure my smile was large and bright. But while I was excited he was still tense and I assumed he would continue to be until he saw I was safe. Keeping my hand on his cheek, I slowly approached my face to his and when our lips touched I was so happy that it was finally happening. It was chaste, but it was a start. His hand touched my cheek tentatively and I felt him relax when nothing happened.

"Can I try tongue now?" I said against his lips.

"Yes."

With his permission I licked his lips, feeling the firm texture and a small something I couldn't name rushed through me. I pushed my tongue between his lips and he opened his mouth for me, carefully and I dare say cautiously. Sucking his lower lip I felt that rush increase and realized it was enhancing my senses. I could hear his heartbeat and his breath, feel the blood coursing under his skin where I was touching, and above all, I could enjoy kissing him much more. I loved his taste. When I felt his tongue against mine it made me happy; he was relaxing and wanted this as much as I. The desire to be closer was great, but I couldn't spook him, I had to take it slow.

His tongue was amazing as it rubbed against mine and licked my lips and when I sucked it I saw stars. Thane's mouth was heaven. Not only it made me more sensitive, it made me happier. Eventually he parted, breathless.

He watched me, attentively, as if searching for anything wrong, and he probably was. "How do you feel?" He finally asked.

"Happy." I smiled and caressed the cheek I was still holding. "I can't believe I finally kissed you."

He smiled, making my heart beat even faster. I wanted him to be happy, to smile and have a fulfilling life. "I enjoyed it greatly. But don't you feel different?"

"I do." He got serious. "Nothing bad, don't worry. I felt my senses improved, like the big bad wolf," I chuckled at his frown, "a tale for children. I can hear you better, taste you better and feel you better. Kissing you also made me happier than eating chocolate."

"Was it all?"

"Yes." His relief was clear. "Can I kiss you freely now?"

It was his turn to chuckle. Adorable. "Yes." And he kissed me.

We kissed for some time and eventually laid on the bed to hug and kiss more comfortably. Of course that made me want more and by the hardness against my thigh so did he.

I ran my fingertips on his still covered chest. "You don't have to hold back, Thane."

"I do. It's best to take it slowly."

"Well, I'll respect your decision, but know that I'm not afraid that something bad will happen and... I want to make love with you."

He kissed me slowly and gently. "I want it as well, but I don't want to rush it."

"Then we won't." I kissed him again before sitting up. "I should go take a shower and Hackett might be done with dinner."

"I'll be downstairs soon."

"Sure." He probably wanted to let the erection fade. I kissed him again before going to my room to get clothes.

  
  


When I was done in the bathroom I did the laundry and joined the others at the table. Even though I wasn't hungry I wanted to be in their company.

They talked a lot while eating, teasing each other and discussing several subjects; they had definitely become closer if not friends. Even Fenris and Solas.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevran's first night with Bethany.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is a part of the story that I thought was better left as its own chapter. I felt it too intense and decided to cut it there. It makes it one of the shortest chapters, if not the shortest in this story(only3k words), but unlike the others where I could continue writing in it, this one screamed at me to leave it there.  
> I hope you like it :)  
> Oh and I'd like to say that your comments really brighten my days, so thank you <3

Zevran helped me clean the table, then helped me do the dishes along with Evfra. It was nice to be in the kitchen with the blue man after so long. It brought back memories.

"It's good to see you happy." Evfra said, surprising me.

"Thank you. I guess I am." I couldn't help smiling. "Somehow it's fun to be here with you again."

I could identify a frown. "Me? What do you mean?"

"Being here in the kitchen with you, it reminds me of those first days, I guess."

"Ah. I see. But it is not what I meant, you are happier with them."

"Ah. Yes, they make me very happy."

Zevran wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, pulling me close, and laid his chin on my shoulder. "I do intend to make her very happy. Especially tonight."

I didn't understand how he could be so open about intimacy. Just the fact he was talking about what we would do made me embarrassed and I just knew I was red. I could be bold about it, but in private.

Evfra only watched me quietly and I had no idea what he could be thinking. Had Fenris really been right and Evfra was interested in me?

"Bethany," the Admiral entered the kitchen followed by Thane, "I will retire early; there is much work to be done tomorrow."

"Oh, alright. Let me kiss him good night, Zevran."

"Must I? It's so comfortable here." He squeezed me a bit, not enough to hurt.

"It's-" I bet the Admiral would dismiss me, but I needed to kiss him good night, so I interrupted him.

"Come on." I pulled Zevran's arms away and he let me go while murmuring something. "I need a kiss." I walked to the Admiral and he smiled as if thinking how troublesome I was. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I felt him hold my hips before my lips touched his. It wasn't long, but it wasn't swift either. And definitely not chaste. "Good night, Steven."

"Good night, Bethany." He let me go and I also lowered my arms, feeling his chest on the way down. I didn't really want to let him go, but I had to.

"I also came to wish you a good night, but there is no need for a kiss." Thane said as my Admiral walked away after greeting the men.

"Don't you want me to kiss you?"

"That is not it."

I closed the distance and hugged him. "Good night, Thane." I kissed his cheek swiftly enough that he wouldn't have to worry about side effects. "Have sweet dreams."

He caressed my temple before sliding his fingers through my hair. "You as well." His eyes held my gaze and took my breath away. I was so in love with him.

"Alright, she's mine now." Zevran said and Thane let me go.

"Only tonight." The drell said, quite firmly. It surprised me to see him speak that way. "Good night, Zevran and Evfra." And with a last glance my way he turned and left.

"Can we go now?" The elf asked, hugging me from behind again.

"I still haven't finished doing the d-" As I turned to face the sink I saw that Evfra had washed everything and was drying the last of the dishes. "I'm sorry you did it all, Evfra."

"It was no trouble. I will use the bathroom before going to my room. Have a good night, the both of you."

"Evfra." I called without really thinking. He stopped and turned to look at me, but I almost couldn't get the words out then. Still, I had started and I should finish. I shouldn't be a coward. "Can I hug you good night?"

"Why?"

"Ah. Because I'm happy you're back and I love you and it's nice hugging you and since you most likely will refuse a kiss I could at least give you a hug for comfort before sleep." I didn't know how I got so many words out so quickly or how I managed to be that open, but he made me nervous with the way he watched me. Then his gaze fell on Zevran behind me with his chin on my shoulder.

"Thank you, but I'm fine. Good night." When he walked away this time I didn't say anything, but I was a bit sad.

"I... should have known better than to ask him a hug." I said when it was just me and Zevran.

"I think he wanted to accept." He said before kissing my neck.

"You're just saying it to make me feel better." I caressed his arms around me.

"Had I been wrong about Hackett?"

"No, but-"

"And about Thane?"

"Well, no, but-"

"You're cracking that shell. Don't worry, mi amor." He kissed my shoulder this time. "Let's go upstairs."

"I haven't talked to Iorveth yet."

"Then be quick, I'll be in my room waiting for you." He turned me to face him and kissed my lips.

"I won't be long."

  
  


I found Iorveth talking to Solas and Fenris in the main room. He shared a couch with the brooding elf while the Dread Wolf was at the table drawing. I realized I hadn't had the chance to see his maps, but I thought it best not to do it then; I shouldn't know what they did outside.

"And there she is." Fenris said.

"Me?"

"Yes, you. We were talking about your garden. Hackett said you plan on starting a small farm next."

"Ah, yes. For grains and flour."

"You're going to overwork yourself one of these days." Wait, was he worried?

"I'm careful to avoid that. If I'm unable to work on the garden we'll be in trouble."

"It won't be the same with a farm." Iorveth said.

"It'll be small. It's just for us anyway."

Iorveth stood and closed the distance between us. "I know he wants you to go upstairs soon."

And there I was, red again for sure. "I'm sorry I didn't ask if you wanted to spend the night together. I couldn't find a moment to ask you."

"I suppose if I wanted I couldn't, considering you've already decided to spend it with him."

"You're right." I sighed. "I messed up, uh? It's just that you got me completely off track." I chuckled nervously, "you tend to do that to me."

"And you're here now while he is upstairs, likely anxious that you're taking long."

"You heard us in the kitchen, didn't you?"

"I did."

"We did." Fenris said, remind me we were not alone. "Do you realize how awkward it must be? You go around kissing them and end up on another's bed."

"Ah, is it awkward? But there's no helping it, is there?" I sighed. "Iorveth, I wanted to give you a good night kiss, but I'll understand if you don't want it."

"You should know by now that I have no problem with this arrangement. Especially after our talk." He stepped forward and held my waist with one hand while the other held my shoulder. When he tilted his face I thought he would kiss me, but he whispered in my ear. "But I do want to spend one of these nights with you, under the stars, with the smell of herbs around us, perhaps roses instead."

"That sounds really nice." I found myself hugging him and his hand on my shoulder slid up my neck to hold my nape. Then he kissed me. God, I loved how intense our kisses were.

"Now go, before he comes down to pick you up." He said still against my lips, so I just kissed him again.

"Good night, my love." I let him go and so did he. Part of me wanted to take him upstairs too, but I had promised Zevran I'd be with him.

It was definitely becoming difficult to handle so many men. I wanted them all, but couldn't have them at the same time.

"Good night, Bethany." Iorveth's voice brought me back from my daze.

"Ah, yes. Good night to you two too."

"Good night, Bethany." Solas said politely as usual while Fenris gave me a "Yes, good night, go to the chosen one for the night."

I wanted to tell Fenris that it didn't work that way, but I couldn't because he was right. Still, one of these days I would have to stop and talk to him, explain that I was not choosing men as I did clothing, that I wasn't using them for my selfish pleasures as he must think I was. But right at that moment I had another elf waiting for me.

  
  


When I entered Zevran's room I was surprised, no, shocked. First the smell was wonderful, I didn't know what he had used in the place, but I loved it. Then I saw the bed; he had turned it into what I could only think was a nest; the borders had the fluffy covers rolled and set to protect--or keep from falling--what was in the middle, and in the middle was a very naked elf reclining on pillows.

"Mi amor, you sure like to make me wait."

"I'm sorry, Zevran. It wasn't my intention." I couldn't stop looking at the scene; it made me think of an offering, like a cake designed to fill your eyes with wonders and the promise that it will be even better when you taste it.

He sat up and left the bed without ruining the placement of the objects. While I could only observe he approached me with a smirk. "I see you like what I prepared for you."

"I do." My voice was almost a whisper; a product of surprise and awe.

His hands held mine and I let him guide me closer to the bed. When we were mere steps away he walked behind me, but I didn't have to wonder what he was going to do, his action came quickly. His fingertips pressed against my shoulder, carefully and precise, relaxing muscles I had no idea were tense.

"Look at what that challenge did to you. Without my massages you've grown so tense, Bethany."

"Ah, it's so good. You're really good at this."

"And I have not even begun. Let us take off the dress, yes?"

"Sure."

His hands left my shoulders to touch my thighs, right above the knees where the skirts reached. I'm sure he could remove the dress without touching me, but he did all the way up. It made me somewhat tingly and I wanted more of his hands on me. He didn't touch my panties, returning to my shoulders as soon as the dress was on the floor.

He massaged my neck after he was satisfied on my shoulders and after that was done and I was breathless, he helped me into the nest, making sure I laid on my belly. It was so soft and smelled deliciously of something unknown; I didn't want to move from his bed anytime soon.

I had never had a full massage before and I wondered if it was supposed to make me so sleepy and aroused at the same time. His touches were magical, glorious, and I wouldn't mind feeling them for hours. Listening to his appreciative words also made me quite happy.

At some point he started touching me in a more sensual way, dedicating his attention to the spots he seemed to have noticed were erogenous, and also got progressively closer to my breasts and butt. Then he helped me turn and lie on my back.

Seeing him after so long only hearing him and feeling his wonderful touches made me enjoy the view so much more. His eyes were dark, his smile made it clear he was enjoying the act at least as much as I was and his body was more handsome than ever, if that was possible. And oh, he was beautifully erect.

I moved to touch his shaft, but he held my hand and looked at me with quite the sly expression. "No, no, mi amor. Not yet." He placed my hand above my head and then the other one. "No touching. I'm not done yet."

Indeed he wasn't; he continued his massage on my front and I had to close my eyes to try and contain myself better. My body was on fire and I needed him to solve the problem.

But it took some time until his hands went under my panties and when I didn't complain he rolled them down. His hum of appreciation made me even hotter. I felt like his next touch would make me come, I was definitely primed for it, but it didn't, it only made me want more.

"There, now I am done. What do you wish to do?"

"I need you to give me an orgasm." I was breathless.

"Ooh. I can do that." He slid a finger around my nipple, making my heart skip a beat. "How do you wish it to be?"

"Any way you want, but I can't wait anymore."

"No?" He slid the finger down my chest.

"No." He had my legs in between his as he straddled me, otherwise I would open myself for him. When his finger reached my lower belly I left out a moan that sounded more like a whimper. I was so in need. "Lower, lower, Zevran. Don't stop there."

"This is so you don't make me wait anymore." He slowly slid the finger further down, too slowly.

"Never. I'll never make you wait again."

"Promise?"

God, he was so close, if only he moved a little bit downwards. "I promise."

"Thank you." And he slid the finger into my nether lips, closed tight as they were because I still couldn't move my legs, but it was enough to make me feel good. The moan made it clear how I felt. "Good, yes?"

"Yes. More, please."

"So polite." He went up on his knees, removing the finger, and I moved my legs from under him, spreading them as I kept one on each side of his body. His gaze fell on my pubis and my heartbeat sped up when he took the finger which he had used to touch me into his mouth. "Tasty." He sounded breathless. "And so beautiful. You're so wet, mi amor, it is very inviting."

"What are you waiting for?"

"I'm appreciating the view." He touched my inner thigh, sliding his fingertips until he was very close to the apex. He looked at me then. "I've wanted this for so long." He held his shaft and rubbed the tip from my entrance to the clit. Our synchronized moan was so amazing.

"In, get in."

He pushed and my blood ran even hotter as I felt him pulsing inside me. "Oh, Bethany, you're so perfect." He said as he moved. "Tell me this isn't a dream."

I finally moved my arms and reached for his hands on my thighs. My touch made him open his eyes and look at me. "If it's a dream we're both in it."

I was too close, so the orgasm hit soon; thankfully he continued to move. My chest felt like it would burst with my feelings for him, so I pulled him towards me and kissed his lips. I was surprised when my cheek got wet. "Oh, that shouldn't have happened." He startled so I thought he would leave and I hugged him tight, speaking on his ear.

"It's alright, Zevran. It's alright." I ran my fingers through his hair, caressing him. "My love, it's alright." I kissed his wet cheek. "I'll be forever with you, Zevran. I'm so happy you're here." We didn't move, even though I could feel him throbbing inside me. I just continued to hold him close and kiss his face. I wasn't sure why he would cry, but I could imagine the reason; it had almost happened to me before. I only knew with certainty that I wanted to comfort him and make it clear that I loved him.

"I think I was overwhelmed." He finally said as he caressed my cheek. His expression was so sweet that I loved him even more.

I smiled. "I understand completely." Then he moved, making me moan halfway into the kiss I was going to give him.

"Give me more of those." He whispered in such a sexy way that I burned hotter.

"Kisses?"

"Those too, but I meant your sounds of pleasure. Don't hold them back. I want to hear you."

"Then you better talk less and move more." I teased.

"Deal."

And God, he made me moan a lot. It was almost cruel the way he almost sent me into an orgasm only to stop and do it again in the same or different position. I didn't know how he could resist or how he knew when to stop or slow down; he likely had much experience and training. When I finally came it was quite powerful; my mind went blank as the pleasure coursed through every nerve ending in my body. I was left numb and panting.

His kiss brought me back to reality. "You're a sex god." I said breathlessly.

He laughed. Such a free and relaxed laugh; it was beautiful and I wanted to hear more of those. "I should hope so." Another kiss. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For not holding back on your moans."

"I didn't have much of a choice, it was too good. Why worry about it anyway?"

"So I know I did a better job than Iorveth."

"You _can't_ be serious."

"Hearing you with him haunted me." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and I knew that it had bothered him, but to that extent?

"This isn't a competition, Zevran."

"Oh but it is. No man would be happy knowing another brings his woman more pleasure."

I watched him with wide eyes, incredulous.

"And now I have the memory of you writhing for me and not for him." He caressed my cheek. "Are you mad?"

"No, a bit shocked. Will you brag about it now?"

"Of course not. That is repulsive. We both know, that is all that matters."

Combining the massage with the glorious sex I didn't think I could move or argue. Whatever I could say about that subject slip through my foggy mind; sleep was slowly taking hold of me. "I see."

"Bethany," he gave me such a sweet kiss, "I love you."

I only remember hugging him in happiness before falling asleep.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations and intimate moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! :)  
> I hope you like it :)

I awoke entangled in Zevran's arms and I loved every second of it. The nest was a mess, a product of our lovemaking no doubt, but still smelled wonderful. For the first time, however, I felt the discomfort of waking up with the evidence of my activities coating me.

We smelled of sex and even though the others knew what would happen between me and the elf, I thought it would be awkward to pass by them with such strong scent on me. Had they smelled it the other times? The Admiral said he had.

When I moved to leave, Zevran's arm held me tighter. "Don't go."

"I have to clean up." I kissed him.

"Stay a bit longer." His hands wandered my body. "Let me love you more."

"I'm dirty."

"You're sexy." He licked my neck and suddenly I had no more desire to go. "You smell of me. Of what we did. I want to do it again. Say yes."

Of course I said yes. But this time he didn't tease as much, although he still did, and I was boneless in the end.

  
  


Thankfully I didn't find anybody on my way to the bathroom, but I found Hackett and Evfra in the kitchen after I was done.

"Good morning." I said with a smile. Seeing the both of them there surely brought back memories, it was only Thane missing.

"Good morning, Bethany." They greeted at the same time, but the Admiral added "Did you sleep well?"

"Ah, yes, I did. How was your night?" I approached to kiss him, careful not to get in the way of his cooking, and thankfully he let me. It was brief, chaste, but I loved it. That was a routine I could get used to.

"I admit I missed you, but it wasn't a bad night."

I wanted to hug Evfra, but I expected him to reject me again. Still, I knew I would feel guilty if I didn't at least try, so I tried. "Can I hug you, Evfra?"

He didn't stop cutting ingredients when he spoke. "I'm busy." Well, that wasn't exactly a no, so I tried again.

"You don't have to hug me back."

He sighed. "Fine. Be qui-" Before he was done speaking I had practically thrown myself at his back, wrapping my arms around his middle to the best of my capacity. It was so good to hug him again, to hear the gentle humming inside his body.

"Did you have a good night?" I asked, still holding him.

"Yes." He continued to work on the food and I only let him go when he complained, which took about a minute. "I can't cook with you there."

"Right. Sorry." I looked at Hackett and was surprised to see him with a smirk. It confused me, but also made me want to kiss him again. Which I didn't do. I just took a deep breath. "I want to have all of you with me in bed so nobody is alone."

"I don't see how that would work." Hackett said.

"Oh you know, if everyone plays nice and accept sharing the bed."

"I really don't see that happening."

"Well, I still hope it will. Anyway, what can I help with?"

They gave me instructions and I helped them until it was almost time to put the second batch of cookies in the oven. Then they got the first for breakfast and we took it to the table, where the rest of the men, except the vampire, were already sitting and talking. Zevran was the brightest I had ever seen him and it warmed my heart.

I was about to go kiss Thane and Iorveth when I remembered Fenris' words about it being awkward that I went around kissing the men. It got me several questions rushing in my mind: Did they feel uncomfortable? Did they consider it an indirect kiss from another man? Did they feel less important than the one I kissed previously? Jealous? The problem was that the only way to discover the answer was to ask them those questions. And they were surely awkward.

"Is something wrong?" Hackett, right by my side, broke me out of my wandering mind.

"Actually, I'm not sure. But I have a question to which I need the answer."

"Sounds serious." Zevran said.

"It is. It's important."

"Won't you sit down?" Hackett asked.

"Not yet." I simply placed my hands on the back of the chair for support. "I'm sorry that I'll have to discuss this in front of you three, considering that, well, you're not interested, but I can't wait until after we eat. Now that I thought about it it's eating me."

"You're worrying me, what is wrong, Bethany?" Hackett asked with a hand on my shoulder; he also hadn't sat down.

Solas, Fenris and Evfra were watching me, which was an overall nice reaction. I would hate it if they decided to leave the table.

"Last night Fenris said something that only really sunk in now. And I actually feel inconsiderate now." My lovers were clearly worried and I sighed. Awkward or not, it was better to get the words out soon. "Does it make you uncomfortable that I kiss and hug all of you in no particular order? Do you mind the order? Do you mind that I just kissed another man?"

"As long as I get a kiss I don't mind who else does." Zevran said. "What did you say that had her worried about this, Fenris?"

"Common sense." The white-haired elf said. "I think it's terrible behavior to kiss the lot of you and then go to one's bed."

"Hah. To think out of everyone you would agree with me that we need an orgy."

"That is not what I said!" That got Fenris quite mad.

"Don't tease him, Zevran." I interfered before it could escalate. "I need to know if I'm making anyone uncomfortable."

"Not me." Iorveth said.

"You don't need to have such worries about me." Alucard said in my mind.

Their answers were reassuring, but there were still two men who seemed reluctant to answer. And that worried me.

"My only concern is the chance of you transferring the toxin to someone and causing side effects we cannot control or treat." Thane said and understanding dawned on me about the night before. He had rejected the kiss because I would go to Zevran afterwards.

"Oh. Is that actually possible?" I asked.

"There's a small chance, yes."

"What toxin?" Solas asked, surprising me that he was even paying attention.

"My body produces a simple venom," Thane explained, "it's hallucinogenic if ingested by humans. I don't know what effects it could have on your species."

"Interesting." Zevran said. "I submit myself to testing, it would solve the mystery about three of us."

"Don't include me," Solas said. "My metabolism is different than yours."

"Right. Ancient elven god." Zevran mocked, but Solas didn't seem to care.

"Admiral, what about you? Do I make you uncomfortable kissing them?"

"I wouldn't call it uncomfortable," he seemed thoughtful, "but I'm not exactly happy with it." He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly in a reassuring way. "But I accept it, I understand your feelings."

"How can I make it better for you?"

His smile was sweet. "I believe only time can help in this matter."

"Oh." That was bad. I didn't want him unhappy with anything.

"Can we talk about something else now?" Fenris asked.

"Ah, sure. I'm sorry about that."

They proceeded to talk about something I didn't exactly hear. I was too lost in my own head, trying to think of some way to make Hackett comfortable with the situation. By the time everyone had eaten I still hadn't found an answer, but I would have to go work on the garden and make up for the work I didn't complete the day before.

  
  


I was back to gardening alone and I missed having the Admiral with me. But I understood that he had to analyze the information and the maps, that he had to think about the best way for us to find the Summoner.

Just thinking about leaving the next day with them made me anxious. What would I see? How bad would it be to camp with them? I hated camping and I hoped their presence would make it better.

I was exhausted by the time I finished. There had been so much to do and I could only imagine how much work would be waiting for me when I returned from the trip. God, I didn't think I would be able to do it all in one day and I just hoped nothing would die in my absence.

  
  


When I entered the house the chatter stopped, leading me to believe they were discussing the plans. I quickly made my way upstairs to get clothes and almost ran into the bathroom, not wanting to interrupt them for long.

It surprised me to feel hands on me while I used the soap. They were hands I was very acquainted with: Alucard's. He was behind me and his touches were precise, massaging the sore muscles.

"Hmm. That's so good. I didn't know you knew how to give massages."

"I know many things, little witch." I loved his voice on my ear.

"Shouldn't you be with the others?"

"I will after I'm done. Unless you want me to go now."

"No, no. Stay. You're doing a really good job."

"Good to know."

When he finished I was feeling so good, so relaxed. I turned around to see him and he was naked and wet. Such an amazing view.

"Are you going now?" I rubbed my hands on his shoulders and he smiled.

"Do you want me to?"

"You know what I want."

"I want to hear you say it."

"Stay. Make love with me."

His hands grabbed my butt and lifted me. It was the second time he had me against a wall, although the first had actually been a door, and it was so much better without clothes. He was hard and entered me easily as his mouth took mine, causing me to moan into the kiss.

"They'll hear you." He said with a smirk as his hips moved against mine. I doubted he minded, but I actually didn't want to give the men another show, so I bit his shoulder to muffle my moans. "Don't draw blood, little witch."

It felt so good to be in that position with him. Gravity just made it all the better and his powers touching all my sensitive spots as he moved inside me didn't let me think, I could only enjoy the immense pleasure he gave me.

I had to let go of his shoulder so he could bite my neck in turn, so as the orgasm followed I cried out into my hand. Once again he pulled out, but continued to hold me until I could return to my feet. His sweet kiss was no less surprising than his joining me in the shower.

"I'm being spoiled." I said with a smile.

"It is merely your life's dream coming true." He held my chin so I looked at him. "Things should become more interesting soon, little witch. I hope you're ready to face what you asked for."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see." He kissed me. "I might be enjoying this much more than I expected."

"Well, I'm glad."

"I imagine your choice tonight is the alien assassin?"

"You make it sound like a catalog."

"In a way it is."

I sighed. He wasn't exactly wrong. "Still, it will depend on him."

"I should return to the others. Enjoy the rest of your shower."

I cupped his cheek. "I love you."

"I know." He smiled like a predator, my beautiful vampire. Then he disappeared through the wall.

  
  


They were still discussing things, so even though I was tired, I went to the kitchen to make lunch. My time with Alucard in the shower relaxed my body and I could really use a bed, but we all had to eat.

I told them when it was ready and they cleared the table so we could place the dishes. I believe my tiredness must have shown because Hackett insisted I should let them set the table in my stead. I didn't actually have the energy to argue so I accepted it and watched as the Admiral, Thane and Zevran brought food and plates with cutlery.

"And you say you can handle a farm by yourself." Fenris said.

"It's just that I had to do too much at once, it won't be this tiring every day." Maybe I should have taken things slowly and worked the entire day instead of rushing it in the morning.

"What if it is?"

"Then... I'll have to find ways to make it easier."

"Once the matter with the Summoner is resolved I will have time to help you." Hackett said.

"I suppose I also could." Thane said.

"That would be nice. And fun."

"I don't understand how you think it's fun. It's hard work." Zevran said.

"I agree." Iorveth said.

"Well, you're able to see new life, help it grow, then there are the fruits which are so cute too."

"And then you eat them." Alucard said with a smirk.

"Well, of course."

"You see, little witch, the way you talk about plants is how others do about babies. I imagine your men are glad you aren't actually talking about eating children."

"Oh my God, of course not! It's true I get involved with my plants more than others, but eating their fruits doesn't kill them. Even the root vegetables grow again if you replant."

"Do you want children?" Solas asked, receiving surprised looks from everyone, including me.

"I... I do. It would be wonderful to have the babies of the men I love."

There was silence.

"I can't father children, little witch." Alucard's voice was almost solemn.

"Yeah... I know. Still, it would be nice."

"Humans and drell also cannot have children." Thane said.

"That would leave you two to adopting her children with Zevran and Hackett." Fenris said. "Do you still want to stay and take care of other men's kids?"

"I do. Even if they are not mine it would be my chance to be a father." Thane said.

"But you are a father." Evfra said.

“I... have a son, but I wasn't a good father. I... wasn't there for him."

"I see."

The others seemed curious to know Alucard's answer because they were staring at him.

"I'm not leaving, tattooed elf. Children or not."

"Why are you incapable of saying people's names?" Fenris asked with clear annoyance, but Alucard simply shrugged.

As Fenris complained about some of Alucard's manners I thought about Solas' question. I would indeed love to have their babies. It would be a lot of work, we would need more food and clothing, but it would be another part of my dream coming true.

"I need to sleep a little." I said when I was done eating. "I'll just wash my mouth and you can resume your meeting."

  
  


When I entered my room I saw Alucard in my bed, confusing me. "I have already told them everything. Come here. Let's take this nap together."

  
  


I'm sure my smile at that moment was large and bright. I loved snuggling with him. "Thank you, my love."

"You are welcome. Now sleep."

I fell asleep in his arms, comfortably and happily. It was always amazing whenever he took care of me like that and I wished he would never stop doing so.

  
  


When I awoke I was surprised to find myself still in his arms. Before I could think better of it I was hugging him tight. God, how I loved that vampire. His hand going through my hair let me know he was awake.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked.

“Much. No doubt thanks to you.”

He kissed my forehead. “I will not leave with you in the morning, but I will see you at night when you stop to camp.”

“Is it nice out there?”

“There are beautiful places. You'll see.”

We cuddled for a few more minutes, until I decided I should go downstairs and prepare dinner. The amount of food we had was starting to worry me, leading me to think we definitely should bring food with us when we return. Hopefully the garden would be ready for harvest, but we also would need meat. Fishing would probably be part of our return activities.

  
  


Surprising me, Evfra helped me prepare dinner. We spent most of the time in silence and it felt a little awkward. “Is there something you wish to talk about?” I finally asked.

“What makes you think I want to talk about anything?”

“You seem anxious.”

“It is nothing.”

“Okay.” I didn't believe it, but I knew pressuring him would lead us nowhere.

Eventually he spoke. “Is Fenris right in believing you are using them?”

“What?” That was definitely not something I expected him to ask.

“Leaving some men aside as you have your fun with another. That is how he usually puts it.”

“That is really bothering him uh?” I said, trying to leave my anger aside and give the blue giant a proper answer. “You see, Evfra, the thing is not that I am choosing one to have fun for the night, is that I can't have them all with me. I don't want to stay away from any of you, but they don't agree to share me at once. Aside from Zevran, of course.”

He didn't say anything so I continued. “Fenris probably thinks I'm like Isabela, only thinking about my own pleasure. That is not true. I care about all of you, your desires and feelings. I want all of you to be happy and I want to be happy with all of you.”

“Angara have big families and although the children share the mothers, each wife still has their one husband. It is difficult to understand this you are trying to do here.”

I chuckled. “I don't think anyone outside some harem cultures would understand.”

“Harem?”

“It's something that happens mostly with men among humans. There are cultures who believe men have the right to take more than one wife.”

“And you want to take more than one husband.”

“It was never an intention, I just couldn't help it. I fell in love with each one of you and when I found myself in this place, well... it seemed I could love you all at once. I could be happy with the loves of my life.”

“I don't understand how you can feel the same for so many.”

“Maybe I'm an anomaly.” I chuckled. “But it's the truth. I love each and every one of you. If you wanted to stay here with me I would give you all my heart, as I have done to them. It doesn't sound possible, but I give myself fully to each one of them, never holding back, never thinking that one deserves more than the other.” Just thinking about it warmed my heart. It was just so much love I felt and I could give them. They wanted me to love them and they loved me back.

“You are loud.”

That took me aback. “Oh. I'm sorry, I can't really help-”

“Your feelings, they are loud.”

“Oh. I thought-”

“Yes. I know what you thought.”

I could bet I was red. “Well, I can't help this either.”

“I know. But that is a good sign. It shows you are honest.” He sighed. “I believe you, Bethany. And you should talk to Fenris before his annoyance gets further on my nerves.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told you before, emotions build energy. He's been... restless lately.”

“Oh. I was planning on talking to him, explaining that he was mistaken, but I don't know how to approach him.”

“Just go to him and explain, there is no mystery.”

“You do believe things are simple, don't you?”

“They are.”

“Well, I'll talk to him in the morning. After dinner I... I'll be with Thane.”

“Good.”

God, that word in his voice did things to me. I wondered if he noticed it or even remembered that time I told him.

  
  


Dinner felt strange and I wasn't sure if it was because we would all be leaving in the morning or something else. Fenris did indeed seem more annoyed than usual, reminding me of the first days in the house; Solas seemed aloof, likely thinking about some important thing he didn't want to share with us; Zevran was touching me under the table and having his hand constantly held by mine; Thane seemed worried about something. Could he be having second thoughts? Hackett was more serious than usual, also likely deep in thoughts about his plans for the trip; Evfra looked annoyed and I guessed it was because of the tension at the table probably making him uncomfortable; and Iorveth was yet another man lost in his own mind.

When we were done eating, the Admiral helped me clean the table and Thane joined us to wash the dishes along with Zevran.

“Is there a problem?” I asked.

“Problem?” Hackett stopped washing to look at me.

“You were all so tense and worried during dinner.”

“Oh. I'm just worried about this exploration. I hope we don't find any threats out there, I'm sure we could protect you, but it still worries me.”

“I'm sure we all will be fine.”

Zevran wrapped his arm around my belly from behind. “I will not let her out of my sights, Hackett. You don't have to worry.”

“If only you would let away from your hands it would also be good.”

“Come on, don't argue.” I removed Zevran's hand from around me and turned to give him a swift kiss. “Be nice and dry the dishes.”

“I got a kiss.” Zevran smirked.

“So what? I was the chosen.” Hackett said.

“Oh no, you are not going to argue about me. Start arguing and I'll leave you two alone.” They both sighed and I noticed Thane observing. “Thane, do you still want to be with me tonight? You seem... worried.”

“I am worried, but we can talk about it another time. I do want to spend the night with you.”

I was done washing the dishes and now the men only had to dry and put them away. “That's a relief.” I gave him a smile. “So... Steven. Come here, let me give you a good night kiss.”

His kiss left me breathless. It wasn't exactly how I expected it to be, but I wouldn't complain; it was amazing. I felt Zevran's arms around me as soon as Hackett let me go and I was pulled into another breathtaking kiss. So much desire in those two men.

“I'll go talk to Iorveth. Good night, my loves.” I kissed Thane swiftly on his cheek. “I'll be waiting you in my bedroom, Thane.”

Solas, Fenris and Evfra were already gone somewhere, but Iorveth was sitting by the fireplace. I went to him and kneeled between his legs, watching his handsome face. The scar would never make me think him any less handsome.

“I came to wish you a good night.”

He caressed my cheek and I placed my hands in both his thighs, just above the knees. “You said you want children.” His words surprised me.

“I do.”

“I am too old to give you them.”

“I still love you.”

“Come here.” He helped me sit on his lap sideways. “Your love is so rare.”

“I keep hearing that.” I chuckled, but he was serious. His hand came up to caress my cheek again, then he held my chin.

“I will treasure these memories when I return.” His thumb rubbed my lower lip. I wish he didn't have to return at all, but I would always accept his decision. If that is what he believed would make him happy I would let him go. “And I will miss you so much.” My heart was so tight and when he kissed me the tears I didn't want to shed rolled down my cheeks. “Oh, I'm sorry, Bethany.”

“It's alright, Iorveth.” I cupped his cheek and kissed him gently. “It's alright. I'm just silly.” I laughed nervously as he rubbed the tears away. “You don't have to worry about missing me yet, we still have some time together.”

He pulled me closer, hugging me. “You are right.” He said against my head. “But tonight you have someone else.” A kiss on my temple before he turned my face to kiss me on my lips again. “Go. Go before I can't let you leave.”

Well, that was surprising. “I'll go, but know that I want you just as much.”

“Do not say things that will only make me want to keep you here, Bethany.”

“Oh, sorry.” I kissed him on his lips once more. “I love you, Iorveth.” He groaned and I got the message, leaving his lap.

I went into the bathroom after Zevran was done and made my way to my bedroom. Thane would be the last one to use the bathroom that night and I had time to prepare myself for him.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first night with Thane and the first day of the journey outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Sorry for the wait. I thought this chapter would have come quickly as the previous ones did but a lot of things happened(healthwise and not) and I had trouble focusing on this story for a while too. But it's here! I hope you like it :)

As I got ready for bed I couldn't help wondering if Thane would want to do anything other than sleep. He had seemed worried about something and it could be about the venom again. We had kissed and he had expressed his desire for more, but maybe he wasn't ready yet. As much as I desired to have a deeper physical connection with him, I didn't want to push him. He deserved time to figure out when he was willing and prepared to take the next step and I surely would give him that.

I was barely done changing when Thane knocked on the door and I told him to enter. My heart was racing as I offered him my hands. He took both and smiled, warming up my entire body and making my heart skip a beat. There was too much anticipation in that moment; I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but whatever it was I was happy to have the night with him. "Lets go to bed." I said with a smile of my own.

Instead of moving, Thane slowly brought one of my hands to his lips and kissed the palm. He was always so sweet, so gentle, if I didn't know him I would never guess he had killed people for a living. His eyes drew me in, he watched me as if I was such a precious thing. Did that mean he loved me? The mere thought of it made me incredibly happy. He pulled me closer into an embrace, surprising me, but it was complete delight to be in his arms again. I loved his strange body temperature, how firm he felt against my body and how he breathed so evenly. He was healthy. "I apologize if I seemed . . . distracted. I am merely worried." His voice sounded so good close to my ear.

"I thought so. And I understand. We don't have to do anything tonight, just being with you makes me happy, Thane." God, he smelled so good and being close to his neck made me want to lick him, but I controlled myself. He tasted wonderful and I wanted my mouth on him again, but I had just told him I would respect whatever he wished, I couldn't force myself on him.

He drew a long breath. "There's something I want to ask you." I nodded and he continued. "Why do you love me, Bethany?"

I smiled and took a hand to his cheek, watching his beautiful alien face. "Because you are amazing. You are so gentle despite your profession, intelligent, handsome, your voice is music to me."

"I... am unsure, Bethany." He sounded pained and it confused, worried me. "You... Your love is a breath of life to me, not only because you literally brought me back, but it is refreshing. I feel renewed having you with me, alive. But... I am afraid. You know it happened once and I fear it could happen again. I would hate myself for hurting you."

"What do you mean?"

"I fear I will eventually become anxious, frustrated, miss my job and want to leave."

"Oh." Right. It happened when he was with Irikah. "That... would be complicated, because we're not simply in another planet or system."

"I know. But I thought you should know what has been haunting my thoughts."

I wasn't sure what to tell him, I couldn't even reassure myself, but I tried to make my own feelings clear. "Even... even if you decide to go I want to make you happy while we're together."

"Are you sure?"

"Thane... I have spent years loving you, thinking I would never see you, never touch you. When you died a part of me did too. I'm so happy you are alive, that you are here with me, that you let me be with you. I don't want to miss this chance, I don't want to worry about the future. I want to enjoy my time with you, to love you now. And I know I will love you forever, no matter what happens."

With no more words, he kissed me; slowly and sweetly. I opened myself to him completely and his venom helped intensify that. I could feel, somehow, in the way our lips moved and our hands touched, that he cared. And oh God, how much did I love that man? I would do anything for him, to keep him safe and loved.

When we parted I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms again, but he led me to the bed. As soon as we were settled on the pillows he helped me move closer and cuddle. I kept my head on his shoulder and idly ran a finger on his covered chest. His chin touched my forehead and a hand caressed my back. I loved it. But I also wasn't sleepy because of the nap I had taken earlier.

"Are you sleepy?" I asked.

"Not quite."

"You know," I said, "I was so happy when you accepted me in your bed the first time. You didn't know me yet, but you comforted me. Did I ever thank you for that?"

"Yes. But you didn't need to, I needed the comfort of your company just as much."

"Then I'm glad I helped." A smile formed on my lips. "And I hope you let me help in any other way you need too."

"You are one of a kind, Bethany." He cupped my cheek and I looked at his beautiful face.

"I'm just a girl in a love."

"I do no believe others in love would do what you did. Or be able to love as many without distinction."

"Okay. Maybe you're right." A moment of silence. "Do you really not mind sharing me with the others?"

"No. They love you."

I touched his hand on my cheek. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For being who you are."

"That... nobody has ever thanked me for being myself."

"I think most people don't truly appreciate our existence; I do yours. Very much actually." I was not sure I could survive losing him a second time.

"Would... would you believe me if I said I love you, Bethany?"

My heart felt as if it would escape me. He loved me. Thane really loved me and it wasn't a dream. "Yes. Why wouldn't I?" My voice sounded more like a breathless whisper.

"Even after what I told you?"

"I understand you, Thane." I took my hand from the top of his and cupped his cheek with adoration. "And I don't think less of you for liking and missing your job. You were damn good at it. And even if it takes you away from me, I understand."

There was emotion in his large black eyes. "Thank you for understanding. I do wish I can stay without ever wanting to leave. I want to love you and make you as happy as you are making me."

"I'm making you happy?"

"Of course."

I let go of his hand and moved to kiss him. His hand left my cheek to hold my back and pull me even closer. Lying on top of him, I lost myself in his lips, his taste, the feel of his soft hands caressing my back through the thin material of the pajama shirt.

It wasn't long until I felt him hard against my body and that made me even hotter for him. I needed him to make the first move though. So I continued to kiss him and caress his cheek, close to his delicate frills. Soon his hand was moving downwards, tentatively I could tell, and I hoped he wouldn't stop. When he touched my butt I let out an involuntary moan into his mouth. Thankfully he didn't remove his hand and I loved it when he squeezed.

Controlling my body so it wouldn't rub against his was difficult; I wanted him so much! But I realized one of my hands had made its way inside his shirt. God, his scales felt so good! Soft if I moved in one direction and only a bit scratchy if I moved the opposite. Having his venom in my system made me feel everything so much better and I wanted more.

His hand on my butt slid down to my thigh and he was so close to my sex that I was panting in anticipation, sucking his tongue and lips in earnest. He was quite breathless too and I was glad it wasn't because of any illness, but pleasure.

"Touch me, Thane." I wanted to curse myself for voicing my desire, but he indeed moved upwards, ever closer to where I was so wet for him. I moved my leg to encourage him and when his fingertips touched my entrance a moan escaped my mouth.

"So wet." He said as a rough whisper, so husky and exciting.

"Yes. For you."

"Let us take it slow." It worried me he would stop. "You must tell me if you feel any different."

"I will."

His fused fingers teased the slick skin and it was difficult to focus on kissing his lips. I needed more contact. Now that I knew he would continue, that he wanted me, I could touch and encourage him freely. And I did.

My hand inside his shirt rubbed his scales, feeling his body and searching for pleasure spots. I didn't know anything about drell anatomy, but for the moment I wanted to touch him. I could ask him to guide me later.

"Do you like this?" He asked as he moved his fingertips on the outer lips.

"Yes." My voice was so breathy. "It'll be even better if you touch in between." I kissed his neck right before he did what I said and I bit him as reflex. It was so good. "Sorry."

"Don't be."

"Did you like it?"

"It wasn't bad."

His movements were intensifying the pleasure, however, and I couldn't keep a straight line of thought. Licking his neck also put more venom in my system and it increased my sensibility further; each and every small movement he did was immensely pleasurable.

"God, that's so good, Thane."

Then his hand went inside the shorts, pushing them down my hips and exposing my butt to him. Wiggling to get them off my legs made me rub against his hardness and even that gave me pleasure. I hoped he liked me rubbing against him just as much. His hand freely touching the butt cheek was good and there he was again, moving inwards to my sex. I wondered why he kept me in that position, however. I could move, but I wanted him to do whatever he wanted with me.

He continued to tease me for a few more minutes and then ran both his hands up my back, taking the thin shirt with them. I felt the wetness of his fingers on my skin and I was unsure how I felt about it. I sat up on his thighs so I could remove the garment and I didn't miss his expression as he looked at my breasts. Drell women didn't have breasts if I wasn't mistaken, I wondered what he thought of them. Most races loved asari and they were quite similar to humans.

He looked interested in my body, to say the least, and there was some hunger there. That was good. "Touch me, Thane."

"I... I have never..."

"All the better reason to touch, discover me."

In that position I could feel his bulge so very close to my body, just a little more and I could be on top of it. I wondered what he looked like under those pants.

Slowly his hands touched the sides of my waist, sliding towards my belly and creating goosebumps on my skin. "You are very soft."

"Do you like it?"

"Yes." He applied some pressure, not enough to be painful, but enough to feel good, and I smiled. He tested my belly and went up to my breasts. I gasped when he touched the nipples and I wet my lips with my tongue, swallowing hard in anticipation. He touched the nubs on purpose this time and I couldn't help the moan. "Beautiful."

"What is?"

He played with both the nubs and the heat in between my legs only increased. I closed my eyes as the jolt of pleasure coursed through me. "You are. Even more when pleasure shows on your face."

"Are we compatible?" The words were out before I could think any better. The need to know if I would have him inside me was great.

"I believe so." He squeezed the breasts while he spoke and it was hard to maintain focus. "I am only familiar with human vital points, but I have heard humans are largely compatible."

"I'm...eager to find out." I rolled my hips, rubbing lightly against his crotch.

"Have you never seen...?"

"A naked drell? No." I rubbed his slightly exposed chest. What I could see was very sexy. "I will... need you to guide me so I can pleasure you."

Surprise coursed his face then was quickly replaced by a smile. His hands were wandering my chest on what I assumed was their way to my shoulders. "You didn't know?"

"What?"

"The frills on my cheeks. Every time you touched them, even carefully as you were, you were giving me pleasure."

"Oh. I imagined they were sensitive, delicate, but... not like that." I supposed I was blushing. "Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"Considering the others don't know, no. If they did I suppose I would be. Unlike Zevran, I do not make a habit of intimate touches in public."

"Oh, you've noticed." I was most definitely blushing then.

"I believe we all did." His hands were on my neck and I felt so hot. Then he gently pulled me down into a kiss.

When we parted I asked, "Should I not touch your frills in public then?"

"It can be... distracting, but I would not mind if you continued."

"As long as the others don't know its effect?" I cupped his cheek, my fingertips a mere brush over his frills.

He nodded and when I moved my fingers to caress the delicate flesh he closed his eyes with a small hiss.

"Am I doing it right?"

"Yes." His answer was mostly a groan, so sexy. I could only imagine if it had a similar sensation to my nipples. Or could such an exposed area compare to my clit? He was definitely enjoying it. "Beth- Bethany." He held my hand gently, but effectively stopping my movement. "You can make me orgasm with it."

"Oh. I-" I was going to apologize, but he kissed me again, and this time he turned us so he was on top of me. Even as we kissed he moved and I realized he was taking off his shirt. When I saw his chest I had to stare, he was a work of art. The different colors of his scales formed such an elegant pattern, his muscles were beautifully defined under the skin, showing me his strength and discipline. Each and every one of the men I've been with in this house were well defined, the Admiral was the largest but not by much, even Alucard with his shifting body had beautiful muscles, but Thane was... denser? And the colors only made it all the better as they framed his abdomen and stretched past under the waistline of his pants, as if marking a narrowing road to a very interesting place.

My hands found his chest almost immediately and he was definitely denser, firmer than the other men, but even though he wasn't as soft, he was still amazing to the touch, especially with his venom intensifying every sense.

"You are so beautiful..." My awe was clear on my tone as my fingers slid across his chest.

"Thank you." He gave me a kiss and I couldn't resist; I wrapped my arms around his neck and back and deepened it. Before I realized it my legs also wrapped around his hips. "Oh Bethany," he said breathlessly, "I have wanted this for a while now."

"If you had believed me we could have done this earlier." I said with a smirk. "Your venom is only making this better, Thane, I'm completely safe."

He kissed me again and it felt more urgent. I supposed he was no longer holding back. When he pulled back I let go of him and watched as he slid his pants down his hips. The moment his shaft was revealed I gasped. It was so different than any I've seen; deep red similar to his frills, tip blunt with tiny frills of its own; I wondered how that would feel. He would fit, that was for sure.

I couldn't take my eyes off the curious appendage, but my hand found its way there easily. He didn't stop me as I began to touch, feeling the even more delicate tiny folds of flesh, but he gasped and I looked at his face. His eyes were normally dark, but now they were pits drawing me in and his slightly parted lips were my undoing. "Is this good?" I asked as my hand slid over the tip.

"Immensely. Are you... comfortable with it?"

"It's different, for sure," I looked at the shaft in my hand as I slid my hand down. I couldn't see any sign of testicles. "But yes, I'm definitely comfortable with it. Are you comfortable with me?"

"Yes." His voice was deeper again and I let him go.

"Let's not delay this any more, uh?" I parted my legs to the sides of his. "I think we... took it slow enough, don't you?"

Now it was his turn to watch my sex; from his licking of his lips I thought he liked what he saw. "I had to be safe."

"I know. Come here."

He accepted my embrace and lowered himself on top of me; as I held him and kissed his lips I felt the tip of his shaft sliding on my folds as he moved. Soon his hand positioned it and we looked into each other's eyes as he entered my body. We both gasped, it felt completely different than the others, rubbing me in ways the smooth surface couldn't do. I loved it. I've dreamed of being like this with him for so long and reality was just... special. I couldn't find another word to describe it. I couldn't stop peppering him with kisses, but then he pulled away.

"Bethany... I-" he closed his eyes, "I..." a deep breath, another, "Gods, you feel..." another deep breath and he lowered his face to my neck. We weren't even moving yet. "I don't-" I ended up squeezing him by some reflex and he jerked into me, moaning deliciously into my ear. His brief movement felt good, but I realized he had just come. "I'm sorry." He said into my neck.

"What for?" I caressed his nape.

"I did not last at all."

That made me chuckle. "I noticed it was hard for you the moment you entered, why?" He was still inside and I was sure my body was absorbing venom from our joining too.

"You are... tight, I suppose. Your body received me the way a drell can't. It was overwhelming."

"Oh. Well, you feel very different too. In a good way." A bit of silence. "So... is this over?"

"Only if you wish it so."

"I don't. But, well, can you do it again?"

"It is my intention, I just... I just need to be... familiar, I assume, with your body. Give me a moment."

"All the time you need, my love." I continued to caress him and kissed his shoulder occasionally. At some point he relaxed and looked at me, beginning to move his hips against mine. I cried out in pleasure, closing my eyes by reflex. It was too intense; I wondered if the venom had anything to do with it. It probably did.

"I am not sure how long I can last, but I will do my best to give you pleasure, Bethany."

"You already are." God, it was amazing. He kissed me and I could feel the orgasm so near. "I... I think we'll need practice to make this last, Tha-" I was interrupted by the overwhelming sensation lighting my nerves. I could literally see multiple lights as my eyes closed and my body writhed under his. I was completely breathless when I recovered my senses, my nails had dug into his shoulders and I apologized. He was still inside me, but his body told me he had come too.

Slowly, he slid out and laid beside me, keeping me close with an arm. I snuggled into his body and felt how wet I was, wondering how much he had filled me.

"That was amazing, Thane." I kissed his chest.

"I am sorry it was short."

"Not your fault." I cupped his cheek and turned him so I could kiss his lips. "I love you, Thane." Another kiss. "We'll practice, get used to our bodies together and make even more amazing love. What do you say?"

"I... I like that idea." He kissed me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me even closer. One of his hands found its way into my hair as he looked at me. "I am completely in love with you, Bethany."

Oh my heart. Tears escaped my eyes and I kissed him, over and over. But I was too relaxed, too tired, and eventually I fell asleep.

  
  


The alarm woke me up and I wished it would explode so I would never hear it again. I never thought I would regret something as much as I did that alarm clock. If I knew it would annoy me that much I wouldn't have wished for one so badly.

I was in Thane's arms and I loved every second of it. He pulled me closer as he awoke, preventing me from moving and turning off the damn object.

"Let me turn it off." I almost groaned the words.

Instead of letting me go he brought the clock over with his biotic power. Useful. I grabbed it as soon as I could and turned it off, throwing it away somewhere on the huge bed and cuddling again.

"Do you think we have time for some practice?" I asked between kisses on his shoulder.

"Practice? Oh." His hand wandered down my body. "I think we do."

  
  


All the others--except Alucard--were downstairs when I went for a shower with Thane. Why take turns if we could enjoy it together? And maybe enjoy each other some more too? Thankfully our stuff was already packed since a day before or we would make our departure later than we should.

  
  


"Was it a good night?" Zevran asked after I kissed them all good morning and got some cookies for breakfast.

"Yes." I said with a smile. "Very good."

"Okay, we don't need details." Hackett said as he rubbed my arm.

We talked about the last preparations and then, after I put on my boots, we all left the house. It was the second time I walked so far, but unlike the time I was merely collecting wood with Hackett, this time I would go much farther for much longer. And I would probably get lost if I got separated from them.

  
  


Strangely, I didn't get tired as fast as I had imagined, but the group didn't talk much. I doubted it was this quiet while they were by themselves; it had to be my fault. At some point the Admiral asked if I was tired or wished water, but I was fine and we continued.

It was hard to tell the time among the woods, but I trusted them to guide me. Eventually we stopped for lunch; not that we needed to sit to eat since it was cookies, but our bodies needed the break from walking.

Surprisingly, everyone was worried about my condition, including Fenris. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised by it considering they were good men and I was in a situation they knew was new to me. In any case, their care and attention made me love them more, but remembering they wouldn't want to stay with me hurt too.

  
  


It was almost night time, I could tell because the forest was becoming progressively darker, when we spotted a group of those elks. They were really beautiful. Once again I noticed they weren't afraid of us, even though we were in a much larger group. We couldn't linger there so I could watch them, however, we had to move. Iorveth had said there was shelter for us not too far ahead. I wondered what it would be.

As light diminished and my sight became poorer I had to walk with help. I wondered if Hackett didn't have a problem because of the synthetic merging he had gone through. Most often it would be the Admiral by my side, holding my hand, but depending on how tricky the terrain became, one of my other lovers would help me as well.

When I spotted the supposed shelter all air escaped my lungs; that had to have been a temple. It was huge, although broken in many places, especially most of the roof had collapsed, but what remained of it showed mosaic glass tiles which probably would have let sunlight in with the most beautiful color patterns.

"It's beautiful. I wish I could see what it was like whole." I said as I was led inside. During the day it would probably be even more beautiful.

"If the Fade existed here I could show you." Solas said, surprising me.

"Would you?" Wouldn't it be intimate?

"Yes." I wished I could see his expression, but it was too dark. "It is beautiful now, in its glory it must have been a marvel."

"That's what I was wondering. All these mosaics..." Alucard's appearance interrupted me. He came through what used to be door with his duster floating behind him even though there was no wind. Such a show off. But it was one of the reasons I loved him; his confidence. "Alucard!" I gave him a smile and watched his as he approached, illuminated by the moonlight beam entering from a crumbled part of the ceiling.

"Missed me already, little witch?" He walked up to me, snaked one arm around my back and pulled me tight against his body. Breathtaking. Before I could answer he was nuzzling my neck and as I felt him parting his lips, Zevran spoke and stopped him. Not fair.

"It would seem he missed you more." The elf said

"Oh I did. She is such a lovely little witch." His voice on my ear made me shiver and I grabbed his clothes for support. Soon his tongue was licking my neck and I let out a moan; embarrassing me. Everyone was there. Even the ones who didn't want me. Alucard kissed the spot and let go of me. "How was your trip here?"

"Ah, it was nice. It's a beautiful forest and we saw a group of elks again."

"Interesting creatures, those elks. So... while you spend your night here I will scout ahead."

"Oh, you're already leaving?"

"Do you want me to stay a little longer?" He teased a finger on my cheek.

"You know I do."

"I wanted to hear you say it."

"Just behave, will you?" Hackett said.

"Oh, I will." The way he said that made me believe that was exactly what he wouldn't do.

While we were talking the others were laying the sleeping bags around. Solas had summoned a fire in one of the walls and I was unsure what it was burning to stay lit. Maybe it was eating his mana?

I entered my bag because I was getting cold and wondered who would lie beside me. The men were discussing their plan in ways that sounded more like riddles and codes and I could only think it was their way to hide the information from the Summoner.

My vampire sat behind me the whole conversation, having his arms wrapped around me and his duster covering us both. It was really nice to stay that way with him, but it had me wondering why nobody was complaining. Even my Admiral was quiet about it.

We shared the cookies--except for Alucard--and I excused myself to go brush my teeth outside. They deemed it too dangerous for me to go alone so Iorveth came with me.

"Who are you sleeping with tonight?" His question surprised me.

"I thought the sleeping arrangements had been made already."

"No. Whoever you want will be beside you."

"Did you all agree with this?"

"We know you don't like to sleep alone."

"I wouldn't be alone, we're all in the same room."

"We also noticed you like to... cuddle, as they put it."

"How can I cuddle in a sleeping bag?"

"You can't if you close it, but it would still comfort you to be beside one of us, wouldn't it?"

I smiled. "It would. And I'm happy for the consideration."

"Who will it be?"

"You, if you don't mind. I've been away from you too long."

"That you have." His smile was adorable and I couldn't help hugging him. It was rare to see him smile. I mean, a loving smile instead of a sarcastic or cruel one.

He held me tight and once again I felt as if the world had only the both of us, as if we were one beating heart. This connection we had was so special, so beautiful, and I would miss it like a part of myself when he went away. We stayed like that for a while, then we spent some time lost in kisses. It was only when Zevran came to check if we were fine that we finally did what we had gone there to do: brush our teeth.

"Tsc, if I knew you'd be kissing your escort I would have come with you instead." Zevran said and I had to control myself not to choke on paste with laughter. "I'm serious!"

"Zevran, you can't have her all for yourself." Thane's voice sounded and I realized he was behind the elf.

"I know."

Mouth washed and free, I spoke, "Zevran, come here." I kissed him and he wandered his hands all over me during it. I wondered what he would do if he could have more hands like Alucard. After we parted I asked Thane if I could kiss him.

"You still have not given Hackett a kiss, I'll wait."

"Right, the venom." I still didn't believe I could share it with others, but he was worried and I'd respect that.

"Did you go for a party outside?" Fenris asked when we returned, bitter as always.

"No, but it was fun nonetheless." My answer seemed to have surprised him somehow. Did he expect me to be shy or something? I would have to talk to him soon. "My admirable Admiral, care for good night kiss?"

He chuckled and I swooned. "Of course, my sweet lady."

"Oh, I like that."

Hackett held me tight and kissed me as if it had been days since he last saw me. It made me want to kiss him just as eagerly. Somewhere in the background I heard Fenris complain, but I paid him no mind.

Alucard kissed me before going out to scout, Evfra let me hug him, but Solas merely gave me words. Fenris was annoyed, but also wished me a good night. Finally, Thane kissed me lovingly and I entered my sleeping bag beside Iorveth. Since we didn't close it all the way he could spoon me and it felt much better than I expected.

Maybe camping with them wouldn't be so bad after all.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confronting Fenris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the wait! I had to get some other fic out of the way so I could return my mind to normal, but here I am with another chapter :) I hope you like it!  
> If you don't like cliffhangers you might want to wait until the next chapter is up.

It was the first time I awoke beside Iorveth, and even though we had the layers of canvas between part of our bodies, it felt amazing to be in his arms. The others were stirring in their bags and I noticed the Admiral was already up and whispering to Evfra beside him. Solas' flame was still lit even though the sunlight could reach part of the ruins. The mosaics did look beautiful and I couldn't even imagine how they would look like in a perfect state.

Being held tighter warned me that my elf was either dreaming or awakening, but when he nuzzled my neck and inhaled deeply I knew it was the latter.

"Good morning, Iorveth." I said with a content smile and hugged his arm around me.

"Good morning, me minne." The following kiss on my neck caused shivers down my body and I held him tighter.

"What does that mean?"

"My love."

"Oh." My heart was burning in my chest, such sweetness from him was still unexpected and it made me so happy. I turned to face him and it surprised me to find him so serious. "Is something wrong?"

"No." He moved a hand to caress my cheek, but continued so serious that I couldn't believe nothing was wrong. After a gentle but swift kiss he sat up. "We should eat and prepare to leave."

"Will I have to witness this every day and night until we're done here?" Fenris asked. He was still inside his bag.

"Can't you just pretend not to see it?" Evfra's tone made me think he was reaching his limit. "There's not even much happening."

"That's how it starts, soon they'll be having sex in front of us."

I couldn't believe my ears.

"You should watch your words, Fenris." The Admiral said, serious and calm, but almost threatening.

"Or what? You know it's the truth and it wouldn't surprise me if you took part in it. You're one of hers too."

I knew I should stop the argument before it escalated further, but I couldn't find my voice. Around me the others had looks of surprise on their faces and Zevran looked angry.

"Yes I am one of hers, and you know she wouldn't do that sort of thing!" Hackett was right in front of the elf now, both standing as if dogs ready to jump at each other's throats. "She's been nothing but kind to you, she even loves you and you do nothing but mock her feelings and disrespect her!"

"Her love got me stuck in this place! Her lo-"

"Enough!" Solas said firmly with some glowing aura around him, forcing everyone to watch the ancient elf. His eyes were silver and shone brightly. "Fenris, you have every right to be bothered by your situation, but antagonizing the others will do you no favors. Focus your energy on finding the Summoner and leave Bethany alone."

"Ha! Don't tell me even the Dread Wolf has fallen in her trap?"

"My feelings don't concern anyone but myself, but your behavior is affecting everyone."

"Whatever. I'll scout ahead. I can't stand this anymore."

As Fenris left, the air around us became much lighter; I supposed everyone was on edge and I didn't want to imagine what could happen if the worst had come to pass.

"You have to talk to him," Evfra said.

"I know." My voice sounded so weak. I didn't know how to make Fenris feel better, everything I did seemed to make him despise me more. I stood. "I'll go after him."

"Here," the angara gave me two portions of cookies, "neither of you have eaten yet."

"Thank you." I accepted the food and gave him a quick hug. "Wish me luck."

"You'll need it," Zevran said. "Good luck, mi amor."

The others also wished me good luck and I could only imagine how impossible they thought my task was.

  
  


Despite saying he was going to scout ahead, I found Fenris sitting on a fallen trunk with his head between his hands. My chest tightened at the sight of such clear distress. I loved that man and it hurt me to see him so unhappy.

"Fenris," I called almost as a whisper, partially afraid he would bolt like a startled animal.

He didn't look at me, "What is it? Did you come to complain that I've offended you? That I don't understand your feelings?"

"No. I came to ask how you're feeling."

He looked at me for a second, then away and scoffed. "Right. Spare me the speech, you love me and you want me happy, I know how that goes."

"It's not just a speech, it's true, but I'm honestly concerned. You hate it here, I know, we're trying to find a way to send you back, what else can I do for you?"

"Leave me alone." He sounded pained.

"I can't do that, you're hurting. Let me help you."

"I don't _want_ your help!" He stood abruptly and marched ahead, I had to run to keep up with him.

"Fenris, wait! I can't let you suffer like this, talk to me!"

He stopped but didn't turn to look at me. He sounded so angry. "Don't you understand? I don't _want_ to talk to you! Leave me alone, woman!"

"Fenris! Please..." Stupid tears I've been holding back since I found him so distressed finally came out and strangled my voice.

"Just go back."

"I can't."

"I don't want you here, go back."

"I don't know how to go back."

He sighed. "Of course you don't." He turned, but didn't look at me, "Follow me, in silence."

"Fenris, tell me how to make it better..."

"Just.Be.Quiet."

I couldn't understand why he hated me so much; he knew I didn't want to keep him prisoner, that I wanted to help him, that I only wanted his happiness.

As we walked back in silence and I was absorbed in thoughts about how I had utterly failed with him, a powerful wind blew nearby, startling me. I noticed it also put Fenris on alert.

"What-"

"Shh!" He interrupted me. "Quiet." After a minute of calm he walked again and I followed, only for another blow to hit us this time. He cursed something I didn't understand and held my arm, pulling me as he rushed in another direction.

"What-"

"Quiet!"

The wind hit and sent us tumbling down some fallen leaves into a crevice. Struggling to get back on my feet in such a narrow hole, I realized I had fallen on top of Fenris, who was groaning.

"Are you hurt?"

"Can't you stay quiet at all?" He sat up with another groan and I saw a slight scratch on his forehead. "That elf will pay."

"Who?"

He eyed me as if I was his worst enemy. I couldn't understand why he hated my voice so much, or the entirety of me for that matter.

Soon a head appeared above and it put me at ease immediately, Solas.

"We fell, can you help us out?" It was at least three meters high, there was no way we could climb out of there.

"He won't help, he put us here."

"What?" That wind was his magic?

"I'm just making sure you're well." Solas said. "Are any of you hurt?"

"Ah, Fenris has a scratch on his forehead-"

"I'm fine. And you'll pay for this, mage."

"No, I will not. You will thank me." I saw a smirk on Solas' face and it was so adorable! But also very intriguing. "If you cannot talk some sense into his head by noon I'll bring you food and water, Bethany."

"Wait, you're leaving us here?"

"He won't listen otherwise. Don't worry, nothing will harm you."

"I could." Fenris said.

"But you will not. Do yourself a favor and resolve this matter soon." Solas looked at me then, "I'll be back later." And he was gone.

"I can't believe he did this." I said. Were they that tired of Fenris' complaints?

"He is a selfish ancient mage, what did you expect?"

"He's anything but selfish."

"Whatever."

"Fenris-"

"Just shut up."

"He won't let us out until we discuss this."

"He won't keep us here either, just be quiet."

"What did I do to make you this angry?"

He was on top of me in a second, his hand over my mouth. "Be quiet! I can't stand your voice anymore!" Tears began flowing down my cheeks; I wanted him to like me and he hated me. "Don't cry, damn it!" He cursed again and let go of me, walking the only three steps away that the space allowed him and sat down.

My legs were weak with sadness and I allowed them to bend, sitting on the rocky ground. I pulled my knees close and hid my face as I hugged my shins. The tears wouldn't stop, but I could at least pretend to be alone and that I was able to give Fenris the space he wanted.

  
  


Unknown time passed as I cried my heart out, trying to be as silent as possible. My chest hurt like never before; I was completely miserable. The man I loved hated me, couldn't stand my presence, not even my voice. I didn't know how to make it better, how to ease his pain, how to make his time here more enjoyable.

"Please stop crying." Fenris said with a voice that hurt me even more; he sounded so sad.

I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but the hurt was too intense, I couldn't stop.

He sighed. "Why are you crying?"

"Too many reasons." I sobbed, unable to stop crying even to speak.

"I'm sorry, Bethany." That surprised me, but I couldn't face him, so I continued hiding in my knees. "I...I don't want you to cry."

"Sorry."

Another sigh. "You wanted to know how I'm feeling. I'm trapped."

I looked at him then, he was looking at the trees high above. A sob escaped me as I tried to calm down and rub the tears away from my face.

"I don't like being trapped. It took me years to be free again and here I am, a prisoner once more."

"It was never my intention."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I know. I know I'm being unfair with you, but...but I can't-" he groaned and punched the ground.

"We're going to find the Summoner, I'll ask them to send you back. You...you won't have to ever see me again." If he hated me that much there was nothing more I could do. "I'm..." Stupid sobs kept interrupting me, "I'm so sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry! You haven't done anything wrong!"

"But-" he was confusing me.

"Why did you bring me here? To this land?"

He was looking at me and I felt compelled to be as honest as I could. Taking a deep breath, I tried to control my breathing and sobs. "You have suffered too much, you...you have fought for your freedom and that of others, you sacrificed your freedom for your family, your memories... You endured horrible things... I wanted to give you a happy place to live, somewhere you would be loved, where you wouldn't have to worry about being in danger ever again, without watching over your shoulder for threats and betrayals, somewhere I could love you."

"Is it pity you feel?"

"No. I couldn't pity you. You're strong, resilient, you've never given up, if anything I admire you."

He nodded. "Thank you."

We stayed in silence for some time and my stomach reminded me I haven't eaten yet. Thankfully the folded cookies haven't fallen off my skirt's pocket in the fall. I took one and offered Fenris the others, he took one.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I finally asked when we finished all the cookies.

"I don't hate you."

"What? What is it then? You clearly despise me."

"I don't." He sighed.

"Fenris-"

"Can we not talk about it?"

"No..." The look he gave me told me he didn't expect me to say that. "The way you've been treating me, it's annoying everyone. I don't want a fight."

"I don't want to fight either."

"Then help me understand what is wrong, how to make it better."

He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you, Bethany, I know I was unfair. Let's leave it at that, it won't happen again."

"Fenris, let me help. What can I do?"

"Just... Be quiet and leave me be."

"I don't understand. You say you don't hate me, but you don't want to even talk to me."

"I don't."

  
  


Time passed in silence and Solas appeared on top again. "Has he talked yet?"

"A little." I said. "He... apologized."

"That's not enough. Fenris, if you do not let it out you will just make this entire journey unbearable."

"You should mind your own business." Fenris said.

"This is my business. I cannot concentrate on finding the Summoner with your constant disruptions."

"Maybe you should go concentrate elsewhere."

"Do you need anything, Bethany? Food, water? Toilet break?" It was curious to hear Solas asking about toilet break, almost amusing.

"I'm okay. If he doesn't talk you'll leave us here?"

Solas smiled, "Who knows? Maybe I will. For now try to make him talk."

"Why don't you come down here and make me talk, Dread Wolf?"

"I have a Summoner to find and your problem is with her, not with me. I'll return in a few hours, Bethany."

"Okay, Solas." I didn't like being in that hole, but at least I had my chance to talk to the stubborn elf.

"This won't work." Fenris said after a while.

"Why don't you tell me what the problem is so we can leave? For someone who doesn't like being trapped you're quite comfortable in this hole."

"Leaving won't make my problem any better."

"But staying will?"

He opened his mouth and closed in a second, then looked at the trees. "I don't know."

"Can I tell you a story?"

"I'd prefer if you stayed quiet but you seem unable to."

"Why does my voice bother you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Then you give me no choice, I'll tell you this story."

"Do you want to torture me?"

"Why would it be torture if you don't hate it?"

"Because it...it-" a curse, "never mind, tell your damn story."

"Very well. There was this woman who had lost everything in her life, her family, her home, her friends. She had to start her life from the bottom in another place and while working she met this very handsome man who was also trying to start a new life. He had also lost everything, but unlike her, the man had enemies after him. The woman helped him and they fell in love, but even then the man couldn't trust her, couldn't allow himself to be vulnerable with the woman. She was patient, because she loved him deeply, and she waited years before he was ready to accept her in his life again, to trust his heart in her hands. And they were very happy, taking care of each other, listening to each other's troubles and trying to fix them together."

"What's that supposed to tell me?"

"That's how your life with Hawke could have been in another world."

"Why tell me that? To show me how bad my life was?"

"No, Fenris. You can be happy as long as you allow yourself to be, that's what it's supposed to tell you."

He looked at me for a few moments before looking at the trees again. "I...I don't know what love is."

It surprised me that he was opening himself. I couldn't help the smile as I told him, "It's a beautiful thing. It's realizing the world is better when the person you love is in it, that their happiness makes you happy, that their smile gives you comfort, that their voice is the most enchanting sound, that their laughter can remove you from any trouble, that you'd do anything to be with them at least one more time. And...that you'd sacrifice your own happiness for theirs."

"Is that what you feel for them?"

"I feel this for you too. When I saw you in that bed I was so happy...I couldn't believe my eyes. The moment you awoke I...you scared me, I won't lie, but I was so happy to be with you. It never crossed my mind that I was dooming you to a prison, Fenris. I would never do that."

"This is hardly a prison."

"Then-"

He shook his head, "You want to know what's wrong?" I nodded. "Very well." He looked at me so intensely that I couldn't look anywhere else but him. "I was living my life, removing slavers from the world when suddenly everything went dark and the next thing I knew I was in a bed with a woman touching me. Nobody touches me, much less people I don't know. Then that woman introduced me to people I have only heard about, one of them was an enemy and she wanted me to 'play nice'. Who was even she to tell me what to do?"

He took a deep breath and I let him continue without interruptions. "And she wanted me to believe she had done it out of love! She wanted me to believe I was nothing more than a character in a story! That she had played with my life! I had lived years being someone's puppet! I swore never to have that kind of life again!"

"But I-"

"Just listen!" I covered my mouth by reflex and he continued, "I couldn't let myself believe you didn't want to use me. I saw you becoming closer to the others and I couldn't accept you had pure intentions. How could someone love so many people equally? You had to be using them for your own gain. But they believed you, they trusted you, they kept defending you and they kept falling in love with you. Even Iorveth who is leaving fell for your charms." He sighed. "I couldn't...I can't."

I was confused, so I let him speak. "I tried to push you to your limits, to break your mask, but...but there was none. You are too honest. I don't hate you, Bethany, I'm angry with myself. You can't help me."

"Why are you angry with yourself?" I asked after he stayed quiet for a few minutes.

Fenris looked at me, he was clearly frustrated with something, then looked at the trees once again with a sigh. "Because I want to hate you and I can't."

I didn't understand. "Why hate me at all? Isn't it better to live a life of peace?"

He swallowed and ran a hand through his hair again. I noticed it was noticeably longer than when he arrived. In fact, everyone's hair was longer, including mine.

"If I don't hate you...I...I can't." He sighed. "Just let me be."

I could tell he was in pain and I couldn't let him hurt himself further. Solas believed I could help Fenris and I trusted the Dread Wolf's judgment. It was painful, but I kneeled in front of the man in that hole with me. His look of surprise would have made me laugh if I wasn't so focused on gaining his trust.

"Let me help you. Tell me what's wrong."

He pursed his lips, seemed to chew on the inside of his mouth and then ran both hands through his hair. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get your attention."

"You already have it, go sit back there."

"No, you won't tell me what's bothering you if I go."

"You're bothering me, now go."

"You said it's you who you're angry with. Why?"

"Bethany, you're clearly in pain, go sit over there." He was right, the ground was eating at my knees, but I needed him to speak.

"Tell me how to help you and I'll go."

"You can't help!" He cursed those strange words again, "Please go, I don't want you to hurt because of me."

"But you have hurt me many times before with your words and your cold behavior."

"I told you why, I was angry with myself, I thought you were using us, this is different."

"Tell me, Fenris. Please. I want to help you. I don't want you to hurt anymore."

He stood and pulled me up, surprising me. My knees stung with the absence of pressure at the same time it was a relief. Unlike the first time I was touched by Fenris, when I was too overwhelmed to pay attention, this time I noticed he was much warmer than the other men and I wondered whether it was because of the lyrium. It found it strange when he didn't release me.

"You can't help me, please understand this."

"There must be a way I can make it better."

"I've hurt you so many times and you still try to make me feel better." His eyes could pierce me easily.

"I can't help myself, I love you. I want you to be happy."

Fenris shuddered and let go of me, suddenly turning around and placing his hands against the rocky wall. "Damn that mage."

"What did Solas do now?"

"He put us here, that's what."

I wanted to hug him, but I knew I couldn't. "Fenris... Why is my presence so bad? Why is my voice such a torture?"

"Because I want to stay away from you."

"Why?"

His fist glowed and he punched the wall, easily making a hole. I stepped back in reflex, startled by the sudden violence.

"Just leave me be, Bethany. I won't antagonize anyone anymore."

"But you'll hurt. I don't want you to."

"I'll hurt no matter what I do, just let me be."

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to make him talk or how to help him. There was a hole in my heart that I knew wouldn't heal as long as the man in front of me hurt. Loving a man who refused help was a trial I didn't know how to win.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like cliffhangers, in fact I hate them, so I apologize. I didn't do it to actually leave you hanging, but because I believe the chapter needed to break here. Don't worry, I'm already working on the next one and I believe it'll come by the end of the week :)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's the next part and without cliffhangers yay! :D  
> I hope you like it!

Unable to think of anything, I returned to my spot on the ground and waited in silence; I didn't know what to do to help so I decided to give Fenris the peace I could. After a while he turned and watched me, then sat down as well. We stayed in silence for a long time.

  
  


Solas appeared once again and this time I accepted his offer for a toilet break. It was amazing to be lifted by his magic; I didn't know what I expected to feel, but it was tingly and warm on my skin. He waited for me to be done and return, then asked, "Do you think he will talk?"

"I have no idea, Solas. He said he's angry with himself, that he doesn't hate me, he apologized and said he wouldn't act that way again, but he's hurting and I don't know what to do. He doesn't want to talk about it."

"I see. Do you want to keep trying?"

"Do you think he'll eventually talk?"

"Maybe with the right... incentive."

"Then yes, I'll keep trying. I don't want him to hurt." I just had no idea what such incentive would be.

"You love him, despite everything he did?"

"I do. He's been through too much and now he feels cornered, I don't blame him. I actually blame myself. If I didn't't love him he would still be living the life he wants instead of stuck with a person he feels nothing for."

Solas was giving me such a compassionate smile that my chest tightened. He was another man I loved deeply, but he also felt nothing for me.

"You are so rare, Bethany. Any man would be lucky to be loved by you."

"Are you saying you're lucky?"

"I am. Your love has brought me to this wonderful land where I can learn so much about things merely imagined and I have the opportunity to know different people. And above all, your care and your passion are remarkable, you are selfless even when it hurts you. I am not only lucky but honored to be loved by you."

Stupid feelings were trying to overwhelm me again and I had to clean some tears, but I smiled at the elf before me. "Thank you, Solas." I grabbed his hand, finding it quite cold, and caressed it. "It means a lot to me that you think that highly of me. Even though you're returning and doesn't reciprocate my feelings, it means a lot that you appreciate them."

He seemed surprised by my hand holding his, but didn't pull back and I was thankful. "How could I not? You have such a marvelous spirit, you should be treasured."

I couldn't keep looking at him after that, with an embarrassed chuckle I looked at the branches above us. "It's difficult to hear that and not throw myself at you."

"Is that why you're holding my hand?"

"Part of it." I took a deep breath and let go. "I'm sorry if I invaded your space. I should go back to Fenris."

"You did not, but yes, you should. I will take you back."

We walked in silence and despite the curious turn in conversation, I couldn't focus on the mage beside me, I was too worried about the troubled elf in the crevice.

"Solas...thank you for helping."

"You are welcome. Here," he gave me more cookies and a bottle of water, "I'll return later with a blanket."

"A blanket?"

"You'll need it."

"So we're spending the night here?"

"He is a stubborn man."

"True." I looked down at the hole, it was really deep. "Okay, take me down there."

Enveloped in magic, soon I was back beside Fenris, who looked at me suspiciously and then closed his eyes. He was much calmer than I expected him to be in such situation.

"Take care, Bethany." Solas said before disappearing.

"I have food and water, do you want any?"

"Do you really think I will tell you what is bothering me?" He still had his eyes closed.

"Solas thinks so, I'm just hoping you will. I...I don't want to see you hurt."

"Why can't you understand there is no helping this? That even if I tell you I will still hurt?"

"Why are you so sure?"

"Because I am."

I opened the bottle and took a sip, then offered him again but he refused. "I'll just leave it here," I closed it again and set it beside me, along with a package of cookies.

  
  


The silence stretched and eventually I fell asleep. When I awoke was to Solas placing a blanket on top of me with his magic. It was much darker and I could only guess it was at least late afternoon. Fenris looked at the elf above with clear hatred.

"Thank you, Solas." I said with sleepy voice.

"You are welcome. Fenris, do yourselves a favor and just tell her everything, if she falls ill it will be your fault."

"I'm not the one keeping us here."

"No, but you are the reason."

Fenris took a deep breath and looked at me, he seemed exhausted despite being in the hole the entire day. With a sigh, he shook his head, then closed his eyes.

"Will you be back later, Solas?" I asked.

"Yes. Good luck, Bethany."

"Thank you."

  
  


Staying in silence with Fenris was painful because we had this weight between us. I didn't know his reason for it, but I felt guilty all the same.

After a while Alucard spoke in my head, "How are you feeling?"

I answered in thoughts, "Sore... It's awful to be sitting here." At least it didn't stink or anything like that, it only smelled of dry earth.

"I'll give you a massage when you return tomorrow." I knew he was smirking when saying that.

"Tomorrow? So I'm really spending the night here?"

"Yes. But don't worry, little witch, you'll be safe. And if you need anything you just call for me."

"How is everyone?"

"They're discussing plans and routes to take from here, they also agreed to let you solve this issue with the tattooed elf tonight."

"I'm not sure I can solve it tonight, Alucard."

"You will. The mage will provide the right incentive."

"Which incentive is that?"

"You'll see. Oh and the mage will not return tonight anymore. I'm taking over."

"I see." I took a deep breath. "Thank you for talking to me, I'm going insane in this quiet."

"Too bad I can't join you there, isn't it? But I shouldn't distract you either, you should focus on getting answers from that man."

"Ah... You're already going?"

"You can always reach me, little witch, you'll never be alone. But yes, I'll be quiet now."

Hearing him say he'd always be with me gave me immense comfort and happiness. "Thank you, Alucard. I love you."

"I know, little witch... I know. Wrap yourself tight, I hear it's going to be cold tonight."

  
  


Alucard wasn't joking, as night came the temperature dropped considerably. Fenris was clearly shaking and I had no other blanket. Standing, I crossed the small distance between us and sat beside him, startling the elf. I ignored his eyes as I covered us both with the blanket.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked as he tried to leave, but I held his arm.

"It's cold, just stay here."

"I don't want to be so close to you."

"You're freezing, Fenris."

"I've endured worse." And with a tug he freed his arm from me and I let him stand. He was stronger than me, there was nothing I could do to force him to stay.

  
  


It was getting colder even for me, I couldn't understand his reasons to turn into a popsicle. "Fenris, please." My voice shook because my lips were trembling. "Come here."

"Where is that elf? You're going to be sick out here."

"I don't know, but if you really don't hate me, come here."

He cursed, but joined me under the blanket. He was cold as ice, I couldn't understand his determination to be away from me.

"Stupid cold." He said between teeth.

It surprised me when he pulled me closer and rubbed my arms. "Thank you."

"Oh shh, you were doing just fine being quiet."

We did stay in silence after that and as our bodies provided enough heat under the cover, we relaxed against each other. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

  
  


I awoke in Fenris' arms; it was likely the middle of the night. His nose was deep in my hair and he held me quite tight. Even if he was cold, which I doubted at that moment, or if he was just searching for comfort, there seemed to be something I was missing. Whatever it was, I was very happy for the unique opportunity and dared hug him back. A sigh left his lips as his body shifted to pull me closer. He was likely dreaming and I shouldn't take advantage, but I didn't think I would ever have another chance like that, so I snuggled up with him and held tight.

Sleep was almost taking me again when a gasp startled me. Fenris was awake. He cursed, but instead of moving away he caressed my back where his hands were. I couldn't believe it. I was torn between enjoying the moment and ruining it so I would be honest, but when he suddenly froze and sighed I knew I didn't need to choose.

"You're awake, aren't you?" He sounded defeated as he asked into my ear and it felt like my heart was bleeding with his sadness.

"Yes."

He sighed and let go of me, turning so I couldn't see his face, but stayed in the blanket. "Go ahead, celebrate."

"What do you mean?"

"You have what you wanted."

"I don't understand, Fenris."

Another sigh. "I don't hate you, Bethany. I can't hate you because I want you. And I _hate_ myself for it. But yes, you got what you wanted."

"No, I don't. How could I be happy when you're not? Why is it such a bad thing to like me?"

"You took away my freedom, I shouldn't like such a person."

"Ah. I see."

"No, you don't! I swore to myself that I would never be a slave again, that I would never again be someone's puppet, that I would do my own choices, that nobody would have power over me ever again! And look what happened!" He turned to face me then, it was very dark but I could still see some of his features. He was so angry. "Look what you did to me! You brought me here against my will, I'm stuck here until we find a way out and what do I do? Instead of hating you as I should I..." He cupped my cheek, but more forcefully than one should, hurting a little, but compared to what it caused me to see him in such pain it was nothing; his suffering cut me in pieces. "I can't hate you." His hold softened and he slid the fingers on the side of my face, his gaze following the movement. "You're too kind, you... you're too full of love...I've... I've betrayed myself."

Before his fingertips left my face I held his hand, surprising him. Holding his palm against my cheek, I looked into his pained eyes. God, I wanted this man to be happy, but there was so much pain inside him. So much that he couldn't allow himself to be free of them. "Fenris...you need to let go of the hatred. You don't need it, you're better without it. Your past led you here, but it doesn't control you. You've already defeated your enemies, you're free. I'm not another enemy you need to defeat." His eyes went wide. Did he really think I was another enemy? "I didn't bring you here to be my prisoner or my slave, I didn't bring you here to force you to love me, love is never forced on someone, it comes from inside. You're here because I wanted you to be happy, but if you're not happy I will find a way to send you back. You were never my puppet." I took his hand in both of mine and kissed his fingers. It surprised him again. "I thought you hated me, it's such a relief that you don't. But I don't want you to hurt. I will never force you to do anything. You shouldn't force yourself either. If you don't want to stay with me, you won't have to. Don't hate yourself for not hating me. It's healthy not to carry hatred inside, did you know that?" I gave him a smile but he still looked so pained. I didn't know what to do.

"I don't want to go." It was almost a whisper as the words came out so weakly.

"No?"

He sighed. "I should, because staying betrays my vow and that is what angers me...but I don't want to go."

"Then stay."

"I can't."

"Fenris... Look at me." He was looking at our hands, but reluctantly looked up into my eyes. "Being a free man gives you the right to do whatever you want, you're not bound by anything anymore. If you want to leave you can, if you want to stay you can, if you want to stay but doesn't want to stay with me you can too. You have choices."

A moment of silence stretched as we looked into each other's eyes. "You're right." He pulled his hand from mine and I let it go.

I watched the elf look at his hand for some time. The blanket slipped and I had to wrap it back around us, but he still didn't move. Unsure of what to say, I just stayed quiet.

"Bethany..." He was still looking at his hand.

"Yes?"

"Do you really feel that for me?"

It took me a while to understand he meant my description of what love meant. "Yes."

"Would you really sacrifice your happiness for mine?"

"Haven't I been doing it? Ever since you told me you wanted to leave and I've been trying to find a way for you to return, giving you the space you asked."

"What do you want from me?"

"I want you to be happy, safe."

"No, what do you want from me? For me to give you?"

"It would be good if you loved me back...if you cared about me...but having your company willingly would already be amazing."

"That's all?"

"What else could I want? The fact you don't hate me already makes me so happy. To learn that you don't want to leave is more than I ever expected to hear from you." I was smiling and couldn't stop it.

"You said you want children from the men you love."

"I do. When you said you wanted me...do you...I mean-"

"I want you. I don't know what it means. I just...I want to be with you, see you smile and hear your voice and touch you."

He wanted the opposite of what he'd been doing and saying. I really couldn't imagine how much he was hurting by forcing himself to be that way. "Go ahead."

"What?"

"Go ahead, touch me."

Fenris watched me for a minute and then took his hand to my cheek, I closed my eyes and just felt. He caressed the skin, then slid the fingers to my neck. I bent it back so he could have more freedom to move and he closed his hand around it, surprising me, but he didn't put any pressure, just held me.

"You're so fragile...you don't even have powers...but you turned me upside down." He moved the hand to my shoulder and I felt his breath on my neck. "Is this what you like? To be bitten here?" He raked his teeth on the skin and caused shivers through my entire body. I was panting. "I'm not even doing anything and you're melting. Do you want me this much?" He licked the skin and I couldn't hold back a moan. "So many times I saw you with bite marks here and I wondered why you would let him do it. But it would seem it's less about him and more about you. You love this, don't you?" He licked again, getting another moan from me while my hands dug onto my thighs.

I couldn't believe it was Fenris doing that to me. "Yes." I was breathless.

His hand slid under the strap of my dress, but didn't move afterwards. "I want you, Bethany, like I've never wanted anyone."

"I'm yours, Fenris. You just need to take me."

He removed his hand from my shoulder to hug me tight. I was completely taken aback by the sudden action and it took me a few seconds to hold him back.

"Don't touch me." He whispered and I let go of him, keeping my arms to myself. "I'm not...ready to be touched."

"It's alright. Whenever you are ready."

We stayed like that for some time, then he reclined against the wall and pulled me close, forcing me to sit between his legs. "Grab the blanket, let's sleep."

I hadn't even realized the blanket had ended on the ground, but I grabbed it and pulled it over us as he wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't touch him, but I was happy enough to stay like this. Fenris wasn't hurting anymore, he no longer wanted to leave and he just needed time to become comfortable around me. I would gladly give him that time.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :)  
> Thank you all very much for comments and kudos, I really love them and it gives me that boost to continue! <3

Back when I learned Fenris despised me, or so he made me believe, waking up in his arms knowing it was not an accident could only be part of my dreams. As I felt his arms holding me close as I awoke, part of me still believed I was dreaming and part of me wanted to continue to dream, so when I realized it wasn't in fact a dream but reality, I had to hold myself back from hugging him in turn. I remembered his words about not wanting me to touch him and I would respect that.

The blanket was at our knees, the air was still a little chilly but much better than it had been during the night. Birds sang nearby and I was amazed by the symphony of nature; maybe camping really wouldn't be so bad after all. I was hungry and thirsty, but I would endure it if it meant being in Fenris' arms for a little longer.

It wasn't long until the elf stirred and he froze at first, then relaxed and held me tighter, inhaling into my hair. I wished I could hug and kiss him, but I would wait until I had his clear permission to do so.

"Good morning, Fenris." I said partially expecting him to reject me again, but my heart soared when he ran his thumb on my arm as if I was a pet.

"Good morning, Bethany." His voice was much calmer and it helped me relax further.

"That's nice."

"What is?"

"The way you're touching me."

"Ah." A moment of silence. "It's good to touch you."

"Are you hungry?" I asked after a while.

"A little."

"Let me get the cookies then." They were still where I had left them.

"Alright." He immediately let go of me as if I was some bug he had caught by accident, but I tried not to be bothered by it. He wasn't used to have contact with other people after all.

My legs were weak because of the way I sat throughout the night, but I managed to stand and get the food and water. I returned to Fenris, sitting beside him instead of in between his legs as he had pulled me to stay the previous night, and offered him the cookies and bottle. He only took the cookies.

"Aren't you thirsty?" I asked before taking several sips of water.

"I am, but I also need to... you know, toilet break."

"Oh, right. You didn't go once." If Solas didn't show up soon he'd be in trouble.

I asked Alucard to hurry Solas over.

"I'm tempted to leave him there and see how much longer he can hold it." The vampire said in my mind and I knew he was smiling.

"Please don't do that, he doesn't deserve it."

"After everything he did I say he does."

"Oh come on, Alucard, he had his reasons."

"He made you cry."

"But I forgive him. He thought I was a bad person."

Alucard sighed, "I'll tell the mage, but only because you are asking."

"Thank you, my love. I would hug you if I could."

"I'll collect it later."

"Why are you smiling?" Fenris asked.

"Alucard will tell Solas to come soon."

"You can actually talk to him in your head?"

"Yes."

"I didn't really believe it when he said it."

"It was strange at first, now I actually miss him when I don't feel him there." And it worried me whenever that happened, which thankfully wasn't often or for long.

"Feel him? Is he always in your head?" I nodded. "So that's why he said he would hear you with Iorveth."

I believe I blushed there. "Yes. Sorry about that."

"I already told you it was not your fault. It's fine." He sighed. "He knows what happened here then."

"Yes." But Solas likely already knew what would happen if he planned this, which offered a good chance that everyone else knew too. "Did you intend to keep it secret?"

He took a deep breath. "I don't know. I... don't know how to deal with this."

"Just be yourself. And don't worry, I won't touch you unless you let me."

Fenris nodded and we fell into silence as we ate. It wasn't long until Solas showed up.

"I heard things have been resolved." The mage said.

"Yes." I said with a smile. "Please take us out of here."

"As you wish."

Soon we were safely out of the crevice with our objects in my hands and the blanket around my back. I watched with surprise as Solas closed the hole while Fenris excused himself to go for his break.

"Don't tell me it was you who opened it." I said.

The mage smirked, "Then I will not."

"Did you have it all planned?"

"Things were going too far, something had to be done."

"And you knew the reason?"

"I suspected it. Evfra was sure, however."

"Of course he was. If only I could read people like he can things would be much simpler."

"Indeed. If I may ask, how will things be between you two now?"

"I don't really know. He...is a complicated man, as you probably know. I guess we'll take it slow and see what happens. He's not really comfortable with me yet."

"I wish you luck." Solas gave me such a beautiful smile that I thought my heart escaped me for a second. He tilted his head and watched me, "I have never met someone with so much love in them, perhaps only among the spirits of Love, but they were as rare as you."

And there he was, making me embarrassed with his words. "Thank you, I guess."

"Why do I make you nervous?"

I looked at the branches above, it seemed to be a clear day. "You know I love you and you say these nice things. It makes me love you more."

"I'm simply declaring the truth."

And flirting with me. I sighed. It was cruel, but I didn't want him to stop either. Before I could say anything, Fenris returned saying "Let's go back."

  
  


We made our way back in silence and as soon as I entered the ruins my lovers came to greet me. The first to hold me tight and kiss my lips was Zevran, then the Admiral, Iorveth was almost hungry in his eagerness and Thane kissed me last, surprising me because it was a complete kiss that left my senses hightened, no holding back. Alucard didn't show.

"I missed you all too." I said breathlessly, overwhelmed by the attention. The smile on my face was likely the silliest so far.

After Evfra agreed to let me hug him, they asked me if the issue with Fenris had been handled. I didn't go into details, but I told them that it had.

"Finally." Evfra groaned and I could just smile. He had suffered plenty with Fenris' tension.

"So what was your problem with her?" Zevran asked.

"It doesn't concern you." Fenris said.

"Oh it does, you made it my concern when you offended her."

I sighed. "Come on, let him be. He'll talk when he's ready. Have you decided where we're going now?"

"Yes." Hackett said. "Are you well enough to walk?"

"After staying an entire day inside that hole there's little else I'd rather do."

They all laughed. The air was indeed much lighter now that the problem with Fenris was fixed.

  
  


We collected our stuff and headed out, I had no idea where they were going but that was for the best. Or so I thought. Until we found the Summoner there was no way to know if all the secrecy was actually necessary.

They teased Fenris, trying to get answers, but he didn't speak, didn't argue and the ones who knew said nothing to contribute. I had someone beside me at all times, my beloved men changing places occasionally, but Fenris wasn't one of them. He preferred to walk at the very rear; away from the others' gaze while he could watch everyone. I wondered if maybe he just wasn't comfortable surrounded by us at the moment; after all, he had become closer to the men and he wasn't avoiding them two days ago.

It wasn't long until I heard the sound of water and I remembered Solas telling us in that first report that the river went deep into the forest. The thought of finally bathing made me perk up and want to run ahead, but I controlled myself, we didn't need any accidents.

Soon I was standing in front of the large glistening body of water, my nostrils filled by the refreshing scent of wet herbs and flowers and my ears tuned to the relaxing sound of running liquid against hard surface. I could stay there for hours.

Unfortunately we couldn't linger; we would stay for our brief lunch, but we'd move afterwards. They all agreed to bathing, however.

After the water bottles were filled we began to undress, and it was hilarious the way everyone suddenly stopped while doing it. They froze and turned to look at me, clearly shocked to find my dress and panties at my feet.

"What? Did you forget about me?" I couldn't hold it then, I laughed.

Fenris immediately looked elsewhere; Evfra watched me and then turned to undress as if nothing had happened; Solas smirked and followed the angara's example; Zevran let go of his pants while looking at me, no doubt trying to seduce me if his smirk and movements meant anything; Thane seemed unsure, but turned away and undressed all the same; Hackett didn't seem quite happy with the scene, but also undressed while looking at me; Iorveth not only undressed but walked in my direction and took my hand.

"If we didn't have company I would enjoy this place with you." The elf whispered in my ear, heating my body as I remembered his words about making love to the very scent I was smelling in the air. Holding my hand, he led me into the river.

"Hey, Iorveth" Zevran called, "don't keep her to yourself!"

"What if I do?" There was no bite in his question, but I doubted it was meaningless either. I watched with amusement as my lovers seemed to freeze as they stepped into the water, and I didn't think the temperature was the reason. They all kept their attention on the two talking.

"I'll take her from you." Zevran said.

"Oh will you? Do you think you can?"

"I definitely can!"

As much as I wanted to watch them engage in a swimming war for my presence, I knew we couldn't afford to be tired; we had to go wherever it was we were going and I doubted it was close, so I swam away from Iorveth after kissing his shoulder and went to the middle of the river.

"Let's not argue," I said, "I belong to all of you." And I would love to have all of them touching me at once.

"We were not serious." Zevran said, walking into the river.

"I know." I smiled. "But we can't waste time, can we?"

Then I really saw what was in front of me: six of the most handsome men completely naked. I lost all air in a second. The sight of those I haven't been with yet caught my attention, curious as I was. Solas was a sculpted god, perfect from head to toe, he was a lot more fit than any mage should be allowed to be. Evfra's alien anatomy didn't shock me as the first time I saw Jaal in the game, it allowed me to appreciate the view; it was so interesting! I wanted to feel every one of those bumps and ridges. And then there was Fenris, smaller than the other two but not at all less attractive; his warrior life also had given him some very beautiful muscles.

Soon they were in the water and I couldn't appreciate the view anymore. Time to bathe.

  
  


Surprisingly, Zevran didn't flirt as I expected him to do and the others didn't seem interested in something similar either; they just busied themselves with washing their bodies. I did the same.

It was a nice sunny day, so when I left the cold water it was very pleasant to sit on a large rock and bask in warm sunlight. I wondered how my garden was faring without me.

We didn't have time to wash clothes so I would wear the second set I had brought after I was dry. While I did so, I absentmindedly watched the men in the water and thought about our sleeping arrangements. So far they had joined me as I discovered they wanted to be with me or how long it had been since they last slept with me, but it left me in a chaotic situation. If they didn't mind sharing me in bed I wouldn't have this problem, but as it was I would have to find a schedule.

Since the challenge ended I slept with the Admiral, Alucard, Zevran, Thane, Iorveth and Fenris. That would give the Admiral tonight with me. I should probably use this rotation while I have a clear order. Nobody should feel neglected.

As I watched them leave the water I thought about Solas' behavior since the night before. Was he really flirting or just playing? Perhaps just being nice? Considering he still wanted to leave and kept to himself most of the time I was inclined to believe he was anything but flirting. I was most likely seeing too much into it, wishful thinking.

It was a rocky area so everyone settled on a boulder, but since the one I was on still could fit one more person I wasn't surprised to have company; the person who sat beside me was what surprised me. Evfra.

"I wish to thank you for resolving the tension."

"You're welcome, but there's no need to thank me, I should have talked to him sooner."

"You should, but what matters is that it's done."

"I'm right here, you know." Fenris said.

"I know," the angara didn't move his gaze away from me. "Have you seen angara's body before?"

I wasn't expecting that question, much less from him. "Ah, well, partially in the game, most uh... the back. Why?"

"You act familiar, you don't stare. They did, and they also asked questions."

"You can't expect us not to be curious when you're that different." Zevran said.

"My erogenous zones shouldn't concern you."

"Oh but it concerns her!"

"No, it doesn't."

"Have you forgotten she loves and desires you?"

"How could I? I just have no intention of doing anything."

"But you want her!"

Evfra looked at the elf and his frown was scary. "I'm not discussing this."

"See!"

I couldn't believe it. Zevran confronted Evfra about his feelings so easily, not that it went anywhere, but I was right there! Did those men intend to shake my heart this entire trip?

"Don't tease him, Zevran." I said.

"I'm just stating the truth, as our dear mage would say."

"Sometimes it isn't necessary."

"Why not? Did you know already?"

Evfra looked at me again and my words became stuck in my throat. I took a deep breath, "No, not really."

"Then you should want to know."

"It won't change anything if he doesn't want me."

"But he-"

"He has his reasons. I'm going to wait," I looked at the angara beside me, "until he wants to talk about it."

The giant blue man nodded and as if nothing had happened he leaned back on his hands and closed his eyes, clearly enjoying the sun. I remembered angara needed sun to recharge and the scene took a new meaning for me. Of course I couldn't avoid looking at his body when he was almost literally presenting himself right beside me. I had tried not to look when I was in the river, but at that moment my eyes went straight to his powerful hips. It was smooth, no shaft anywhere in sight. What was the thing with aliens and retractable penis? I thought it had been Bioware that didn't want to model bulges but there was nothing to bulge.

In any case, my gaze didn't linger and I left Evfra there to get our food. Staying beside him made me want to hug him and I couldn't, not after he clearly said he didn't want anything with me.

We ate in silence and I tried not to look at any of the men. I couldn't afford becoming aroused. Soon I was in my clean dress and they were still naked under the sun, which made me anxious.

I couldn't be more thankful when they started dressing a few minutes later.

  
  


We passed by some ruins too far gone for me to identify, but Iorveth said it most likely had been a fishing village. Where had the people gone to? Were they dead? Had they been readers just like me? Or maybe natives to the place? There was no way to know just by looking and our best bet was finding the Summoner.

  
  


That night I indeed slept with the Admiral spooning me and I had missed him much more than I thought. We didn't have any ruin to protect us from the elements so this time we used the tents. There were two of them and we could fit inside without issues: I had Hackett, Zevran and Thane with me while Solas, Fenris, Iorveth and Evfra stayed in the other. Alucard had only briefly appeared to make out with me and disappeared with a smirk, saying in my head later that we were getting close, but he would go ahead to check on some things.

Just how much did that vampire know that we didn't? The short answer is: much more than we could have imagined.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts on what Alucard may be hiding? ho ho


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you notice the change in tags?  
> Revelations are finally here!  
> I hope you like it!

Their path next morning took us to a deep area of the forest, it was so thick with shrubbery of all kinds and vines that it was hard to walk. I stumbled over roots and other things I didn't know not only because it was dark but because I couldn't see the ground under so many dead leaves.

"The Summoner's trace is strong here but I cannot identify where it comes from." Solas said in between three thick trees I noticed formed a triangle.

"Have you checked up on the branches?" I asked looking up but I couldn't see much besides thick branches and more leaves than I'd seen in my entire life.

"Yes," Iorveth said. "There is nothing but trees and birds up there."

"Then it's either invisible or underground."

"If it is invisible I could not locate the magic responsible and we couldn't find any way into the ground either."

So they had thought about those possibilities too and it was actually not surprising. But where did that leave us? "You are sure it's in here?"

"Yes. Away from this spot the signature only fades."

"Okay... Let's search then."

"We have searched this thoroughly last time," Fenris said. "There must be something your... magic is doing wrong."

"While it is possible something is interfering I am sure the signature is here." Solas said.

"This is the only lead we have so we search it again. Besides... You didn't have us with you." I chuckled and got to work.

I didn't actually believe I could find something if they hadn't but I believed the Admiral could. But after what felt like hours searching the floor and the trees' for marks or switches I saw something shimmer. It was brief and I dismissed it at first, but what if that was my sign? Just like the book had only shone to me in the shop?

I went to the general area it had shimmered and waited.

"Did you find anything?" Hackett asked.

"I might. Just give me a minute."

They all stopped to watch me and it was a little unnerving, but I focused on finding whatever had shimmered. After a few minutes I saw it in the corner of my eyes, similar to a cloaked geth, something round between the roots and almost completely hidden by fallen leaves. I approached it and observed, without the shimmer I would have missed it completely.

It was cold to the touch, but light. It seemed to be a bottle with long and thin neck and round bottom, but had no lid, no opening. I needed two hands to hold it because of the size.

"What are you doing?" Fenris asked.

It was still cloaked, or whatever it was actually using to hide, so I probably looked crazy fondling the air.

"I found something. It seems to be a bottle." And then I felt a relief on a small part of it. It felt like a drawing of some sort and it took me a few slides of my finger to understand it was a symbol. Kanji for "Wish." The second I pronounced it the cloak was gone and I was looking at a beautiful golden bottle with many inscriptions.

"How did you do it?" Solas approached with his eyes focused on the bottle.

I showed him the marking. "It's the same language in the book that brought me here. And I wonder what else is written."

I was fluent in Japanese but some of those kanjis were old and I wasn't sure about their meaning. It took me a while but I finally decyphered it: "For your envy and greed, for your selfishness, for letting your sister perish, for destroying other people's happiness, for sowing misery upon this Earth to raise yourself. You are cursed to serve, to help, to care and to nurture. You shall only be free when someone cares about you."

"A curse?" Iorveth asked. "But... Who was cursed?"

"Maybe it's one of the people who were brought here? It talks about greed too." I offered.

Solas hovered his hand on the bottle, "No... It's your Summoner."

"Cursed to serve, to help... It makes sense. Using the book, it brought people to help."

"But where are they?" Zevran asked.

"If this was a genie's lamp they would be inside and if I rubbed it," I rubbed the round area with my skirt and nothing happened, "they would have come out."

"So they either aren't in there or it needs more than rubbing." Hackett said.

"They're inside." Alucard said, getting the attention of everyone as he appeared leaning against a tree.

"How do you know?" Hackett asked.

"I visit from time to time," he smirked and the look of suspicion on my Admiral's face turned into incredulity before it was replaced by anger.

"Why did you hide this from us?! You knew it all along!"

"She asked me not to tell."

"She?" Solas asked.

They looked at me and I shook my head. "It wa-"

"Not her. The Summoner is a woman." Alucard said calmly as if he hadn't just confessed to hiding the information we needed the most. "You could ask her why she didn't want you to know."

"How did you know she was here?" I asked calmly. I supposed if I became angry Fenris, who was clearly furious, would snap. Solas didn't look happy either.

"We have this connection," Alucard motioned between him and me, "and it allows me to know some things, more than just what you're doing and talking in your head. I noticed a... link likely similar to the one the mage felt in the book and I began searching for ir."

"Why didn't you tell anyone? Me?"

"I'm used to doing things on my own, I told you so. And I didn't want to raise worries and expectations in case I did not find anything."

"But you did." Solas said. "And you hid it from us, you let us walk around this place for days when you could have led us here."

"I could. But she asked me not to."

"Why did you take the Summoner's side?"

"Because he's selfish! I said he only cared about himself!" Hackett was still angry. "What if the Summoner is harming her with this link?!"

"She isn't." Alucard sighed and walked towards me, passing between the men who clearly wanted to hurt him, but his eyes were on me. "Do you think I would let anything harm you?"

"You harmed her!" The Admiral said.

"It was a mistake, an accident, something I deeply regret." Alucard sounded mournful. Did he still worry about that day? "Do you think I would intentionally hurt you, Bethany?" The use of my name was so unusual that it shook me a little.

"No. I trust you, Alucard."

The frustration on the others' faces were clear, but I couldn't and wouldn't turn on my vampire. Alucard caressed my fingers around the bottle, bringing my attention to the object.

"You missed a place on your reading," he said as he took the bottle from me. He turned it upside down and I saw a circle. He pushed it and everything suddenly blurred, but when it returned to normal there was a beautiful Japanese woman in a ragged kimono sitting on the floor beside us. Her hair was messy and she looked sick. "This is your Summoner: Kyoko."

"Are you okay?" I asked in Japanese. She looked as if she would crumble before our eyes.

"She understands whatever language you use." Alucard said. "It's the reason we all understand each other unless we specifically choose a word the other wouldn't know."

Now that he mentioned it I had wondered how everyone spoke the same language.

"It is good to see you, finally." Her voice was sweet but tired.

"You wanted us to come?" She nodded. "Then why couldn't Alucard show us the way?"

"It would rush things." She seemed unable to breathe properly, sounding breathless.

"Is there something we can do to help you?" Solas asked.

"Yes. Wish good things."

"Excuse me?" Zevran asked.

"Bethany, wish something good." Her eyes were so beautiful even surrounded by sunken skin.

"But... won't wishing stuff cause bad consequences?"

"Not... if it's good."

"I..." I looked at the men and everyone seemed uncertain except for Alucard who nodded encouragingly. "I wish... you would feel better."

She smiled but shook her head once and slowly. "Not for me. Your wishes... cannot affect me."

What could I wish that would be good and selfless? Because if it wasn't selfless it surely would cause trouble? We still had supplies for our return and at the moment we didn't need anything. "I wish... there would be no sickness on this land."

There was a bright yellow light surrounding Kyoko and then everything shimmered around us, including our skin and the trees. Kyoko, however, only improved a little, but it was enough to give her skin some more life.

"Did that work as intended?" I asked.

"Yes. Thank you." She stood with some difficulty and held her hands in front of her body. "I am glad you're here. There is much to explain."

"Why are you being helpful?" Fenris asked.

"I am not your enemy. I wish I could offer better accommodations for this talk, but I cannot control the things around me."

"What do you mean you can't?" Zevran asked. "You just cast something."

"I granted her wish."

"So you can only do whatever I wish for?" I asked and she nodded. "Is it true you're cursed?" She nodded again. "Because of those things on the bottle?" She nodded. "How long have you been here?"

"Too long." She took a deep breath. "Because of my selfish ways I was cursed to help others, locked in this realm and bound to that bottle. Unfortunately all the people who had found me were selfish so the power I had was being drained, to the point I almost disappeared and this world almost crumbled. After centuries dormant, you found the book and unlike the previous readers you wanted other people to be happy, you were selfless. I finally have a chance."

"So let me see if I understand this, I should actually be wishing for things all this time?"

"As long as they are good and selfless, yes."

"Huh... I was afraid of wishing for things."

"I know."

"Well, I have a wish that is selfless. They want to go back to their places, please let them go. I tried wishing it some time ago but it didn't work."

"It didn't work because it can't be done."

"What? What do you mean? Are you keeping us here?" Iorveth asked.

She slowly shook her head. "No. I didn't make the rules, I certainly can't change them in my current situation. Maybe if I had more power, but not now."

"But she sent those two back." Fenris said.

"No. She merely sent them away."

My stomach went cold. "What?"

"They are sleeping in another house. You have not sent them back."

"All this time they've been alone somewhere?" She nodded. "Where? I have to find them!" I had to make sure they were fine. I had no idea how they would react but I couldn't leave them sleeping as if dead, abandoned.

"It is the only other building that stands, the others have all crumbled. You can find it north of here, near the lake. Just follow the river."

"Are they well? Hungry?"

"They are well. As long as they sleep they are immune to effects of time.

"Are there other people here?" Solas asked.

"Not anymore, but... there could be."

"What do you mean?"

"When I first awoke here, angry for my fate, there were people here, they were kind and tried to help me be a better person. It wasn't such an easy task," she said with amusement. "When I received my first reader he was cruel and began using the people for his own gain. The next wasn't so different. Neither the one who followed. At some point the people had been exterminated."

"What an awful story." Zevran said.

"It is the history of this place. But you can change that, Bethany. You could rebuild this land."

"Do you expect me to wish people to be brought here?"

"No. While you could, what I am suggesting is that you wish for them to be resurrected, that the buildings return. You could even wish for more to be built."

"But... are you sure this won't bring bad consequences?"

"As long as you use the power wisely, it won't."

"And as she makes more wishes she returns you to health, is that it?" Hackett asked, suspicion clear on his face.

"The positive wishes will. Any other will contribute to the destruction of this place and myself, consequently you."

"You can bring people but we can't go back unless you gain more power?" Iorveth asked and she nodded. "Convenient for you to have more people here."

"That depends, only having good people would work in my favour."

"Hm. It would seem our stay has been extended."

"You seem awfully fine with it," Zevran teased with a smirk.

"I won't deny I'm glad to have more time with her."

"You love her, why leave at all? By now your people have already found a way to live without you."

"Have you ever led a rebellion that could mean the only chance your people had for survival?"

"No, I'm... not a good leader."

"Then you wouldn't understand."

"I believe you will not want to go even if I was able to send you in the future." Kyoko said.

"Why not?" Iorveth asked.

"You believed yourself unable to become a father, you were wrong."

"Don't play with me! I know my age and how that affects my body."

She nodded. "Were you on your world this would be true, but not here."

"Are you saying that if I stay I could be a father?"

"You already are."

"What?" He looked at me, then at my belly. "B-but..."

"Are you saying I'm pregnant?" I couldn't believe my ears. I wasn't planning on becoming pregnant any time soon! Not that my actions had helped...

"Yes. And it is a boy." She said with a smile.

My legs turned weak and I was halfway to the floor when Alucard held me up and close to his body. The shock turned into extreme happiness and my chest felt as if it would explode. I was going to be a mother! Of Iorveth's baby! The smile on my face was hurting my cheeks but I couldn't do anything about it. I looked at Iorveth and he was the pure definition of shock, wide eyes and open mouth, frozen in place. I could only imagine the kind of thoughts in his head. Cold lips on my forehead brought my attention to the man holding me. He was smirking.

"Congratulations, my little witch."

"You knew this, didn't you?"

His smile grew and he caressed my cheek with his thumb. "I did."

His out-of-place comment about children that day suddenly made sense. I placed a kiss on his lips, surprising him, and ran to hug Iorveth. He didn't react at first, but soon I had his arms around me and holding me tight as he breathed into my hair.

"Well... this was unexpected." Zevran said after a while.

Letting go of Iorveth, he turned me in his arms so I was able to look at the others, who were surprised, but he kept a hand on my belly, caressing it.

"I don't understand..." Zevran continued. "We all could have been the father, how do you know it's him? How do you know it's a boy?"

"I know everything that happens here," Kyoko said calmly.

"So... Wait," my own thoughts interrupted me, "if he can make babies because he is here... could I wish for the others also to be able to?"

"There is no need, they already are. We surely could use more children, of every race. That includes you, my friend." She looked at Alucard who clearly wasn't expecting that.

"What do you mean it includes me?" The vampire asked.

"You can be a father too."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have any of you seen it coming?

**Author's Note:**

> This was going around in my head for a while, I just had to write it. It's crazy, I know. And I couldn't make it simple... my mind had to try and make things at least _seem_ realistic/plausible.
> 
> I don't know when a next chapter will come.
> 
> Thank you for reading. And if you want to leave some thoughts, I'd love it.


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